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Age Difference
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Posted by: MadHatter

Hello all,

I'm new at this and I have a question about the age difference. I've been corresponding with a lady of 24 in the fsu, for a few months and we've talked on the phone and also have video conferenced as well. I'm 41, so has anyone had or has this experience that they could share or opinions?

Posted by: JamesB

Hi, well im 48 and liuda my wife is 24 and we have no issues with the age whatsoever.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Hey, another Michigan Man ... welcome to the Russian Meeting Place (RMP) MadHatter!

17 years difference isn't unheard of and I'm sure it would wirk with the right woman. Just remember, it not her age that matters ... it's what she does and says. As most members know, women from the Former Soviet Union (FSU) can be baffling at times ... sometimes with good reason sometimes not. Just question her or us about oddities that pop up.

Good luck!

Posted by: joelunchbox

Age isn't the issue, it is maturity. some people are more mature at 20 than others at 50. Think about how much you changed from your teens until your thirties. If you are young at heart and they have matured, then I think it would be a "GO".

Posted by: Subtitle-D

It depends on the individual case. There are some negative thinking people who will tell you it can't work but many people have shown that it can and does, for example see JamesB's inspiring story on this forum. I also recall seeing a newspaper article (Daily Mail) some time ago about a couple with an age difference of over 20 years (the woman was not even Russian but British, as was her husband!), and they had a very successful relationship. When it comes to relationships only positive thinking counts. Good luck!

Posted by: MadHatter

Thanks for all the positive replies and feedback to my post. She does seem to be quite mature in her ways and letters. She is the one that I have been quite considering, as we carry on long conversations, more than the others that I've been in contact with. As I'm a newbie to this, I had to ask this question. The age difference has never been mentioned between us. I will have plenty of questions, especially about oddities and "Courting". Thanks

Posted by: swindoom

If you do not have a strong character the age difference will be an issue, as you will have to deal with other peoples prejudices and stereotyping, even from people who are close friends or family.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadHatter

Thanks for all the positive replies and feedback to my post. She does seem to be quite mature in her ways and letters. She is the one that I have been quite considering, as we carry on long conversations, more than the others that I've been in contact with. As I'm a newbie to this, I had to ask this question. The age difference has never been mentioned between us. I will have plenty of questions, especially about oddities and "Courting". Thanks

MH

Did you contact her first or did she contact you first? If she contacted you first then there is definately NO problem with it. She could see your age and yet she still went ahead and wrote to you. If it was the other way round, the topic does need to be discussed at some stage, sooner rather than later, but in my experience with FSU women, 10 -15 years is never a problem, even up to 20 years I now plenty with that age gap. But as others have said, it all depends on the two people concerned, no two couples are the same, so it is up to the individuals.

There is another 'Age Difference' thread somewhere on here that goes into all this in a lot lot more details. I would take a look at that if I were you.

Chris

Posted by: MadHatter

Chris,

I did write to her first, but I told her my age in the first letter to her, and on her age preference, she was looking for someone up to 40, which is what my age was when I first wrote her. I actually contacted a number of women when I wrote her, some my age and some closer. Most of the summer, I wrote to 19 women, and then began to eliminate them from my correspondence. But, me and this girl, talked on the phone quite a bit, and have video conferenced. Honestly, some of the other ones, we were at a loss on the phone with each other. But, me and this girl, have long conversations and have had quite a few. I also have a persoanl manager assigned to me right now in Russia, and we've been discussing this for the last few days.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Personal Manager??? Someone to coach you on finding a wife from the Former Soviet Union (FSU)?

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadHatter

Chris,

I did write to her first, but I told her my age in the first letter to her, and on her age preference, she was looking for someone up to 40, which is what my age was when I first wrote her. I actually contacted a number of women when I wrote her, some my age and some closer. Most of the summer, I wrote to 19 women, and then began to eliminate them from my correspondence. But, me and this girl, talked on the phone quite a bit, and have video conferenced. Honestly, some of the other ones, we were at a loss on the phone with each other.

I don't see a problem then, but one thing that you do need to take into account with a women in her age range is kids. Most women of her age want them, do you, do you have any from a previous marriage, have you been married before. This is a major topic that needs to be thought about and discussed when your correspondence gets to that point.

Chris

Posted by: MadHatter

My personal manager discusses the ladies I write to and also talks to them, she also responsible for gift deliveries and answering my questions and talking directly to the ladies and arranging meetings and any interviews that may need to be done. Also, advising me on choices and if they have any serious correspondence going on, plus arranging the meeting and place to stay, travel, etc.

Chris,

We've actually discussed the children part, she would like one or two and that's after a couple years of marriage. I've never been married and I do not have any children, but would like to.

MH

Posted by: Jerico

I am 12 years older than my wife.

She will tell you that dating a guy her own age is like dating a teenager. Shes 29 and as far as i know has always dated older guys.

Posted by: MadHatter

Thanks for all the replies to this one, as I'm new to this. Now i see there are a few with age differences here. I do however have one quesion, I should also ask her, but I'll post it here first. I orderd a photo session of her and she also got some of the copies, I took care of that. She placed some of them on her profile. It kind of bothered me that she would do that. I do not know what her reason was for doing so.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

You never met her and there is no commitment. She is free to do as she wishes. Many men travel to see more then 1 woman. FSU women pursue multiple men until they find someone they like and have a commited relationship.

Posted by: Big wheel

Age for me does(did) play a role. I am 36 and my wife is 30. For me I was looking for for a lady that is 6 to 8 younger than me. I have dated women that was 10 years younger and older. This age works for me.

I have had talk with Russian women that was in the early 20's. It seen like they whanted a way out and that all and wanted more than i could give them at this time in my life.

I do understand why so many women whats to leave. And the biggest reason i found is men. I was the first person (man) to tell her that she was beautiful and I love you and meant it.

Just be sure in yourself.
And men that have a wife or Gf make sure they know how much you care

Posted by: MadHatter

I understand that we're not committed, as we haven't met yet. I don't even know why I let that bother me. Glad I never mentioned it to her.

Posted by: leum

with ten years. More can work, sure, but it's rare. If you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. Don't fool yourself.

Posted by: azamuner

I think a lof of it depends on your compatibility and interests. If those are the same, you might be ok. Although someone within 10 years of your age is definitely your best bet.

Posted by: MadHatter

We are compabitable in many ways, share the same interests on a lot of subjects, plus she has gotten me into other things, like certain books and authors, etc. I've done like wise with her. We talk on a lot of subjects, she's quite mature in her thinking and want she wants out of life. I've never had children or been married, would like to have children, but I consider may age, 41. We've discussed having children, and how many is a good ideal. She wanted to know about my past relationship and I told her and she told me about hers, then that was the end of it. We've been correspnding and talking on the phone and some video conferencing for 8 months now. We've covered a lot of ground. And of course, we're still learning about each other and have been talking on meeting this year. But, there's other women I'm corresponding with, Russia and Ukraine. Stop writing some, some stop writing me. But, me and this one, still remain in contact with each other. I don't know, perhaps I'm beginning to feel uncomfertable with it for some reason.

Posted by: AkMike

I can't understand why in the world you've been holding off going to meet this woman.
8 months of writing w/o meeting is too long.

Posted by: MadHatter

Well, for the starter, when I was going to make my first trip over there, I had some "Perosnal isssues" come up, that was out of my control. And, the funny part of this is, it didn't turn into serious coreespondence until just before the New Year's. Before, when I brought up the meeting, she side stepped it. So, I figured that she wasn't interested. Then things changed, instead of frequent emails and phone calls, they turned into every day emails and weekly or twice weekly phone calls. I'm over my little slump now, and we're looking at may. Even if I can't get a vacation, I'll take a three day weekend. Then, when I get my 30 day vacation, I'll go back for a month. We've been discussing all this, the last couple of weeks. So, it's not very long away.

Posted by: AkMike

That makes much more sense! Visit soon so you get a realistic mind set of what she is really like and not someone that your mind concieves.. Sounds silly but it's true.
You can always ask for unpaid leave too.

Posted by: MadHatter

Might just take the unpaid leave for a week, then later take my vacation time and then spend 2 weeks to a month there. Spend time with her and see how it goes.

Posted by: MadHatter

She sent me a goodbye letter a few weeks ago. Found a man in her own country, said that was good, as she didn't want to leave her country or city or go anywhere. Should have moved quicker on it. Started new, and will be heading out in September or October, no later.

Posted by: freebird

Sorry it didn't work out, good luck with your search.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big wheel

I have had talk with Russian women that was in the early 20's. It seen like they whanted a way out and that all and wanted more than i could give them at this time in my life.

If the girl is 20 - 26, still lives with parents, does not have experience in life, and has not been outside her country there is a strong possibility that she will have some unrealistic ideas about life in the west.

If she is just looking for a "ticket out" you may run into lots of problems...

Quote:

Originally Posted by joelunchbox

Age isn't the issue, it is maturity. some people are more mature at 20 than others at 50.

Exactly....