The "Ex" Back in the Picture...... - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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The "Ex" Back in the Picture......
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Posted by: Raspberry

Well, some interesting twists and turns in the romance story.........my ex-
girlfriend is back in Seattle, after living in Texas a few years. In fact, she has been here since July. But I have only sparingly been contacting her by e-mail only until recently.

She wanted to meet with me earlier this month, but I put it off due to, of course, going to Ukraine.

Finally did meet with her last week, and this week. She has changed a lot. Particularly in the case of anger management. She does not yell and spazz out like she used to, for one thing. She now appreciates me for all the things I did for her before. Plus she is also finally over a the father of her child, after being obsessed with him all these years.

All is well and good. And I am really happy that she's made these changes. But, you know, I'm not really sold on going back to her, despite all of this.
Not after going to the FSU. Although I am not engaged/married to one....
YET.......I find they are the most fabulous in the world, and I will eventually find one.

My Ex had an extremely lucky sense of timing, the first time around. I happened to find women that I liked, only to find they would flake out. Essentially, the lack of "competition" and the fact that I'm a really patient guy, all worked in her favor.

I have been also a changed person, too, over the past couple of years. Although I am not someone that only wants a "hot model babe", I have raised my standards back up---in things that are not just in the physical sense, either.

Once again, she has this sense of timing. I had mentioned a few weeks ago that I got blindsided by a lady I had been writing over a year. And today, the one girl I met in Zaporozhye earlier this month, got dropped from this one agency, with no explanation.(But she still is on two other sites, plus I have her cell phone number).

However, I have other girls in Ukraine that I also have been writing, too. So, any way you look at it, I do have my hands full.

There is a special place in my heart for the ex, but I truly think the alternatives are better.

Posted by: AkMike

Tigers don't change their stripes.
Leopards don't shange their spots.
But both use them for camouflage when they're hunting.
Look very carefully and see if everything is real of if she's the same as she was. I'd look forward and not behind you.

Posted by: joelunchbox

One of my cousins married his high school sweetheart. They fought for the next 5 years or so and it ended in divorce. They were apart for about ten years, met, started dating again and now they get along great. I forgot to ask him what they did to preclude another divorce but...maybe time does make the heart grow fonder. The question is something like, have you both matured or something...
good luck, be open but be aware.

Posted by: JamesB

Good sense mate.Look around and see what happens.Every corner brings new possibilities.

Posted by: dagpop

Ras, I would take it slow and easy. I would even tell her you are writing to other people too. If she is really serious,
she will stay with it to see if it works.

Posted by: GreenBarb

Be careful if she is trying to rekindle your relationship, she might also be keeping her emotions under control

. Proceed with great care and keep your opptions open.

Posted by: Raspberry

Yes, indeed, Dagpop and GreenBarb, that is what I'm doing. Thanks for your concern.

Posted by: Raspberry

Well, we had a tri-fecta here, of sorts. Heard back from a couple of the Dnepro girls this morning. And the one girl from Zaporozhye, who got dropped from the one agency, answered back within 12 hours of sending a hand-delivery on Angelika(after sweating out the credit card processing problems at the agency), and is anxious to meet me again soon!!

Needless to say, it is getting more unlikely for me to go back to the past. Especially when you have a bunch of fabulous Ukrainian girls waiting for the next visit!!!

Posted by: AkMike

I had one of those tempermental types in my past but w/o the fixation on another guy.. I think she's still that way and has never landed him either. I looked for greener pastures and found it. Life's too short to back track.

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raspberry

Well, we had a tri-fecta here, of sorts. Heard back from a couple of the Dnepro girls this morning. And the one girl from Zaporozhye, who got dropped from the one agency, answered back within 12 hours of sending a hand-delivery on Angelika(after sweating out the credit card processing problems at the agency), and is anxious to meet me again soon!!

Needless to say, it is getting more unlikely for me to go back to the past. Especially when you have a bunch of fabulous Ukrainian girls waiting for the next visit!!!

Cool! Why do you, guys, complain when girls have a bunch of nice foreign guys waiting for the next visit?

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seaview

Cool! Why do you, guys, complain when girls have a bunch of nice foreign guys waiting for the next visit?

I don't think any of us guys should complain, if we can write to several girls before flying over there I would probably expect that the girls would have letters from several guys, and are waiting to see who shows up.

The only problem I would have is if she fails to mention that she is in a serious relationship, or if AFTER MEETING and making a comitment, that she would continue meeting others. Of course if they only went on a date, and did not agree not to see others, then she would not be bound.

Honesty is the best policy!

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

I don't think any of us guys should complain, if we can write to several girls before flying over there I would probably expect that the girls would have letters from several guys, and are waiting to see who shows up.

The only problem I would have is if she fails to mention that she is in a serious relationship, or if AFTER MEETING and making a comitment, that she would continue meeting others. Of course if they only went on a date, and did not agree not to see others, then she would not be bound.

Honesty is the best policy!

And if she is not sure what relationship is serious ?

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seaview

And if she is not sure what relationship is serious ?

Then she should tell the man that she needs time to think about things.

If she does not tell the man that she will write only to him, then she has nothing to apologise for. I only think it is wrong if the woman (or man!) promises to be exclusive and then does not do that

Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

Exactly, Freebird. (1)I kind of assume that there is more than one guy writing to these gals, to be realistic AND (2)Only a minority of the writers actually make it to the FSU.

By and large, the FSU women are more honest and less flaky than their American counterparts.

Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Ras, I would take it slow and easy. I would even tell her you are writing to other people too. If she is really serious,
she will stay with it to see if it works.

Dagpop, the girl in Zaporozhye knows that I do write others, and she is good about that.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Very interesting thread Raz. Keep us posted and good luck. I hope it turns out the way you want it.

Posted by: Raspberry

GTR, it is indeed interesting, especially the timing of all this. It's especially interesting about the ex's reaction, now that the "shoe is on the other foot".

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Ras, I would take it slow and easy. I would even tell her you are writing to other people too. If she is really serious,
she will stay with it to see if it works.

Do you really think this is a good idea? I mean I would think that most girls would ASSUME that you have written to several other, but why would you need to mention it unless she asked? In my letters I asked to learn more about the girl, and said that I was interested to meet, but I did not promise to be "the only one". I think you can never really know for sure until you meet.

Posted by: AJROOK

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

Hey Raspberry, I tend to agree with Freebird. Honesty is always best and if I am asked if I am writing to other women then I will tell her yes. If she does not ask then I do not plan on bringing it up...yet. I would volunteer the information later once I felt we were solid.
Just my opinion.

Andy

Posted by: Raspberry

Yes, when asked, I tell the truth. But I don't volunteer the information.

Posted by: EasyTarget

No need to volunteer the information until things become a lot more serious. She is writing several men, and you are writing several women. Of course this is what happens, since neither party knows if they will be correct for each when first emailing.

Posted by: Raspberry

The "ex" is on the "fast track" on trying to get something going again. She has cleaned up her act, as far as anger managment goes. And she has been a bit more affectionate.

But I don't think that is enough, to be sold on her. She complains about me not opening up and saying anything.......but often, when I am trying to say something, I get cut off in mid-sentence.

She, of course, knows about my interest in Russian women, and has criticized them for just only desparate and looking for Green cards. Of course, emphasizes that I'm being used by these women.

But on the other hand, she thinks she is a great financial whiz, and wants to help me manage my finances. She also is not currently working, but will be back on the job in December, and trying to get herself into position of monopolizing my days off. Plus, she is behind on her bills(though hasn't asked me for any money). She also wants me to help babysit her son while she is in some training classes for her job.

Now, she could just as easily be perceived as being a "user" as much as what she is doing/saying, and maybe more so than any Russian girl I know.

Interesting coincidence......her training comes at the time when I will be off work-----but I will be in Ukraine then.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raspberry

The "ex" is on the "fast track" on trying to get something going again. She has cleaned up her act, as far as anger managment goes. And she has been a bit more affectionate.

But I don't think that is enough, to be sold on her. She complains about me not opening up and saying anything.......but often, when I am trying to say something, I get cut off in mid-sentence.

She, of course, knows about my interest in Russian women, and has criticized them for just only desparate and looking for Green cards. Of course, emphasizes that I'm being used by these women.

But on the other hand, she thinks she is a great financial whiz, and wants to help me manage my finances. She also is not currently working, but will be back on the job in December, and trying to get herself into position of monopolizing my days off. Plus, she is behind on her bills(though hasn't asked me for any money). She also wants me to help babysit her son while she is in some training classes for her job.

Now, she could just as easily be perceived as being a "user" as much as what she is doing/saying, and maybe more so than any Russian girl I know.

Interesting coincidence......her training comes at the time when I will be off work-----but I will be in Ukraine then.

Move on Raspberry, far too much baggage there to go back, never a good idea IMO to go back.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Tigers don't change their stripes.
Leopards don't shange their spots.
But both use them for camouflage when they're hunting.
Look very carefully and see if everything is real of if she's the same as she was. I'd look forward and not behind you.

I do not agree with this at all. I would venture that none of us is the same as we were 5 or 10 years ago. I know I'm not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Ras, I would take it slow and easy. I would even tell her you are writing to other people too. If she is really serious,
she will stay with it to see if it works.

Spot on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenBarb

Be careful if she is trying to rekindle your relationship, she might also be keeping her emotions under control

. Proceed with great care and keep your opptions open.

Another one that is spot on

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Move on Raspberry, far too much baggage there to go back, never a good idea IMO to go back.

I sort of agree here, but in the back of my mind is the old adage "Better the devil you know than the one you don't". If you have a soft spot for her still then I would proceed with caution, if you don't then be straight with her and tell her there is no chance of anything serious ever again. Just remember one thing, you "don't" really know the women from the FSU either.

Posted by: AkMike

It sounds as if she's learned to control the temper but it appears that she's still using you or at least attempting to..
Wanna bet she asks for a loan before Christmas? For a financial wizzard she isn't doing so well.

Keep looking!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

She sounds worse then a Russian scammer! She wants more then just a few dollars or a good time.

Posted by: Raspberry

I did call her mom tonight, who has high regards for me, and had a bit of a talk. She is glad her daughter is improving, but also cautions of my ex being over-dramatic....and not let her push me into something I really don't want. Mom's advise is to go with what is sensible and comfortable, and use my head......effectively implying that I'm better off with a Russian girl, despite the fact she would welcome me as a new family member.

Posted by: AkMike

That is a wonderful lady! To be able to think for your best and not her own blood is saying ALOT for her charater..
Heed her advise!

Posted by: freebird

My ex Russian GF (in Seattle) told me after a couple of years that we were not "right" for each other, that if I met somone else she would be happy. (After I spent 1,000s of hours & $$$ teaching her English, editing her college papers, taking her to Disneyland, etc)

So after we broke up and I started dating someone else she freaked out, saying that I had abandoned her yadda yadda.

I wonder if she will show up at my wedding.....

(she is a member at rhe Russian church where I will have my wedding)

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Thanks for sharing Freebird. I know my ex-Russian wife had a fit when she found out I was e-mailing a girl. She stopped writting e-mails and SMSs.

To this day I can't shake this woman, she is like a leach. I told her to stop contacting me many times. She did stop for 3 months because she was mad at me but then stated again. She says I am like family to her and wants to know about my life.

Personally I think I'm her back-up plan if the guy in Seattle she left me for doesn't come through ... which I think is happening. She married him in March and she still doesn't have a visa or a package from the embassy. I submitted my paperwork in May and my fiancee has her embassy paperwork.

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Personally I think I'm her back-up plan if the guy in Seattle she left me for doesn't come through ... which I think is happening. She married him in March and she still doesn't have a visa or a package from the embassy. I submitted my paperwork in May and my fiancee has her embassy paperwork.

He's from Seattle? Hmmmmmm Hey isn't Raspberry from Seattle? And Freebird is just a hop skip and jump from there... I wonder??...

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Nope it's not Raz or Freebird but I warned Raz she will be in the area ... now maybe not!

Posted by: Raspberry

I was definitely warned!

Posted by: salvatore

...you don't put spoiled milk back in the fridge.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

... or re-cycle toilet paper!

Posted by: goforit

"Though nothing can bring back the hour
of splender in the grass, of glory in the flower,
we will grieve not, rather find,
strength in what remains behind."

In other words, don't go back!

Posted by: stuckmojo

to put it in the words of a very good petrolhead friend of mine "rear view miirrors mate, f**k whats behind, foot to the boards fella, flat to the boards"....

petrolheads...only way to be...)