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Funny Things That Happened to Couples

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Posted by: AkMike

I'd like to start this thread about some of the humor that helps bind couples together.
Many of Tanya's and mine were due to the language differences.
The first I recall was during my second trip to see her. It was spring there, the fruit trees were in full bloom. So many fresh clean scents, such beautiful blossoms, For a guy from the northland it was a unique expierience!
I asked Tanya to pose up against a small apple tree with beautiful pink flowers. I told her I wanted to get a picture of 2 flowers. She didn't realize I meant her and the tree's. About 10 minutes later.... She got it and started laughing..

Another better joke was a tad more elaborate..
We were filing the paperwork for her CR-1 visa and I told her that I had to go out of town for a few days and I wouldn't have computer or phone contact.( Lot's of places in Alaska like that) I told her that the paperwork was being sent "special courier" and would arive at KBP, Kiev/Borispol airport on a particular flight/time. She had to meet the person and get the papers to the embassy. No problem... right?
I told her that I didn't know if it would be a man or a woman courier or what they would look like. So the best thing I could think of was for her to make a BIG cardboard sign with her name written in cyrlic and english and to hold it up in the arrivals area.
The vulture cabbies that await their prey in that area were curious about it and asked her about it. She explained the story to them. Then when I walked out of the customs area. She was elated!
The cabbies asked her who this man is. She squeeled that "this is my husband". The guy shook his head in disbelief and asked if I needed a sign to know my wife!

She's also got a wicked sense of humor that surfaces once in a while.
Within a couple of weeks after she got here I was working on a big tanker type trailer out in the shop area. Hot, dirty and concentrating on the electrical wiring problem I working on... Suddenly a gal with long blonde hair on tall high heels and a slinky dress carrying vinyl ballons walked up to me and said "Happy Birthday". (Being a recent longtime bachelor I thought she might be a 'strip-o-gram' from my 'buddies' ) Not a good thing since I expected my new wife home soon! Right?
Then as she started to sing I realized it was Tanya all decked out.. So radically different I didn't know it was her.
Anyone else have any good humor with their ladies?



Posted by: Chrismc

Some nice stories Mike, especially the one where you acted as courier



Posted by: joelunchbox

Nothing that elaborate yet...but hoping!!
You guys show so much trust in each other! WOW!!



Posted by: sidney

We have a habit of trying to april fool each other. One year I turned all the clocks 2 hours ahead. She had an important meeting at 9 Am. I'm normally hours up before her so she usually doesn't set her alarm. It was killing me laying there waiting for her to awake. Finally she awakes looks at the clock and says in her russian accent it's 9:30. I just gave a huh back and acted like I was sleeping. She got louder with her It's 9:30 until I said april fools.
Sid



Posted by: AkMike

Good idea Sidney! Guess what I'm going to do! hehehehe



Posted by: AkMike

No one else has ever had anything funny happen to them???

Spak? Jerry?? Anyone???



Posted by: bingism

To be honest, most of my anecdotes revolve around the "language barrier"....

First was with Marina.... I don't know if anyone else was told this when they were a child, but I was always told that you shouldn't say "thank you" after someone has said "bless you" because you sneezed.... something about this would kill a fairy! Anyway, I told M this and said that you "should say nothing".... so... next time she sneezed, I said "bless you" she said "nothing".... I haven't laughed so hard since...

Well, since that is, this little exchange via ICQ...
J: Do you think the other students mind?
B: Mind what?
J: That we're together...
B: I don't think so... We're very discrete
J: But, do you think that they mind our intercourse in class?
B: Erm.... :-D :-D
J: What?!?
B: Dictionary time



Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by bingism
To be honest, most of my anecdotes revolve around the "language barrier"....

First was with Marina.... I don't know if anyone else was told this when they were a child, but I was always told that you shouldn't say "thank you" after someone has said "bless you" because you sneezed.... something about this would kill a fairy! Anyway, I told M this and said that you "should say nothing".... so... next time she sneezed, I said "bless you" she said "nothing".... I haven't laughed so hard since...

Well, since that is, this little exchange via ICQ...
J: Do you think the other students mind?
B: Mind what?
J: That we're together...
B: I don't think so... We're very discrete
J: But, do you think that they mind our intercourse in class?
B: Erm.... :-D :-D
J: What?!?
B: Dictionary time

LOL Bing at least wait until you get home for that type of shenanigans



Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:
Originally Posted by bingism
To be honest, most of my anecdotes revolve around the "language barrier"....

First was with Marina.... I don't know if anyone else was told this when they were a child, but I was always told that you shouldn't say "thank you" after someone has said "bless you" because you sneezed.... something about this would kill a fairy! Anyway, I told M this and said that you "should say nothing".... so... next time she sneezed, I said "bless you" she said "nothing".... I haven't laughed so hard since...

Well, since that is, this little exchange via ICQ...
J: Do you think the other students mind?
B: Mind what?
J: That we're together...
B: I don't think so... We're very discrete
J: But, do you think that they mind our intercourse in class?
B: Erm.... :-D :-D
J: What?!?
B: Dictionary time
Extra credit to the diligent student!



Posted by: Balaklava

Quote:
Originally Posted by AkMike
Anyone else have any good humor with their ladies?

Summer evening in Kiev… Nice small restaurant….. A loving couple enjoying coffee at the terrace…
He (passionately): “My dear, I brought something for you to our future wedding…”.
Pause….
She (aside): “Finally! Interesting, how big a diamond will be?”.
He (thrusts his hand under the shirt): “I told you that I was married before…”
Pause…
She (confusedly drops her eyes): “Oh, honey, it doesn’t really matter!”
He (gets from his bosom greasy string. On the string dangles dark and broken ring):
“My former wife presented me this ring to our 20th anniversary. Do you know where is the cheapest jeweller’s to make for us wedding rings?”
Pause...
(A real story that does not bind couples together unfortunately.)




Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:
Originally Posted by AkMike
No one else has ever had anything funny happen to them???

Spak? Jerry?? Anyone???


LOL! I'll try to come up with a few tales latter. I'm outta town onna slow 28K dialup pullin my hair out at the moment!



Posted by: jeffs

Ok this doesn't quite involve the wife, but my father in law Igor. First night we met... But you'll need a little bit of background first... I purchased a book called Dermo before I went to Russia, just for some light reading. Dermo means "Sh*t" in russia, and it covers the art of "mat", or russian swearing. I read it on the flight over along with my phrase book, and on the train to Vologda. I like silly stuff.

So to set the scene, the day after I arrive I am invited over for dinner. We finish a nice dinner and Igor points to the door of the kitchen:

Igor: Go Home!
Igor: Jeff Go Home!

At this point my would be wife is laughing beacuse he means lets go to the living room. (we still joke about this with him all the time)

We enter the living room and in my best possible Russian I say.

"Igor kakay krasivaya Grud"

a puzzled look, then I realized, I just told him what a beautiful breast he had.



Posted by: AkMike

I bet that really impressed him! Did he 'pop his top?' ROTFLMFAO!!!



Posted by: Jerico

Well one thing that i thought was funny happened a few weeks ago.
My wife approached me as i was on the computer.
She says " I need a keyhouse "
I said " What do you need?"
Her " A key house"
ME " What the heck is a keyhouse?'
Me " you mean housekey?"
Her " ya house key "
Anyway i thought it was funny because even tho she knows perfect English she sometimes mixes things up. LOL
She needed a house key because I wanted to drive the jeep she normally drives and used her keys. If she walked to the store she would want to get back in the doma. Heheh


Another story thats funny.
We went out with a few Russian couples and one was saying that his grandmother was visiting from the Ukraine or something.
Anyway they went out to dinner one night and she wanted to stay home.
Well they left the garage door open to thier house. I guess the grandmother saw this and was so worried about it being open ( for fear of theft ) she got a broom and guarded the garage for like 3 hours he said. LOL
She had no idea how to simply push the button on the wall to close the door.

In the Ukraine i dont think automatic garage doors are very popular :-)
I got a chuckle out of that one.
Jerry



Posted by: Jerico

Deleted because already posted
Jerry



Posted by: sidney

We have a 5yo that is your typical boy. One day while waiting for the bus he found a small garter snake flattened on the road. He took it to school that day to show around. One girl must have been impressed with his story and gave him a kiss. My wife and I were discussing this before going to sleep. I said that Phil showed her his little snake and she gave him a kiss, are we talking about the same thing? There was silence for a minute and then she couldn't stop laughing.
Sid



Posted by: deccie

On our recent trip to France we visited McDonalds a couple of times.
K speaks a sort of bastardized English and the French speak another type.
As a result both of them can't make themselves understood..
Finally K explodes saying "Don't they teach you ENGLISH around here!!!!
Considering we were in Paris, I just burst out laughing.



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