How will you handle money with your FSU women ? - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

Pages: 1

How will you handle money with your FSU women ?
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: royalpalace774

When your FSU women comes to you either on a K1 visa or you have married her all ready, what was or what will your plan be to give her money for herself so she doesn't have to always ask you for it.

I am in the process of a K1 with my girl and I know I don't want her feeling uncomfortable asking me for things or money. My plan is that I am going to give her her own ATM card and deposit funds in there for her to use whenever she feels the need to buy something.

My girl is very cautious with money so I know she won't go through it quickly.

I have heard stories of some fsu women coming to the states and always having to ask their partner for money and sometimes the guy will give it to her or he wont give it to her.

I would like to hear what some of you have done or what you plan on doing when your women arrives to be with you.

Do you have a dollar figure that you think you should give her monthly so she doesn't have to feel awkward asking for it ? We all know the salaries where she comes from are low, but then we also know that everything here costs alot more than where they just came from.

Just wondering what you guys think?

Posted by: Longfellow

Here is my plan, and it is open to revision with her:

All necessary shopping of food, household and living needs will be done together.
She and I will create and agree on budget, together. Involvement is important to me and a nice reason to spend time together sharing responsibility.
I will ensure she has bus/metro pass every month and free money of $200 for anything extra she wants/needs that she doesn't want to include in living needs.
We still need to discuss support for parents back home... this is obviously needed but I am unclear to what extent.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by royalpalace774

When your FSU women comes to you either on a K1 visa or you have married her all ready, what was or what will your plan be to give her money for herself so she doesn't have to always ask you for it.

I am in the process of a K1 with my girl and I know I don't want her feeling uncomfortable asking me for things or money. My plan is that I am going to give her her own ATM card and deposit funds in there for her to use whenever she feels the need to buy something.

My girl is very cautious with money so I know she won't go through it quickly.

I have heard stories of some fsu women coming to the states and always having to ask their partner for money and sometimes the guy will give it to her or he wont give it to her.

I would like to hear what some of you have done or what you plan on doing when your women arrives to be with you.

Do you have a dollar figure that you think you should give her monthly so she doesn't have to feel awkward asking for it ? We all know the salaries where she comes from are low, but then we also know that everything here costs alot more than where they just came from.

Just wondering what you guys think?

I can only tell you what my ex-fiance (AW) and I were going to do/doing. I may have to revise my plans a little bit with an FSU woman, at least initially, until she gets her feet on the ground, but we shall see.

First we planned and analyzed the budget together. I think it is important, even if she doesn't want to be involved, that she know exactly what is coming in, where it is going, and why it is going where it is going. My ex also worked 5 hours a day as a website designer. She wanted to cut back once we were married but we resolved that we would never use any of her income for basic household support. She could use it for mad money or we could use it for extras that we might not otherwise buy.

Given my work schedule, I would simply place the funds to run the entire household every month in a checking account, and she would handle paying all the bills and make sure the household finances were running smoothly. She would take care of any household issues including repairs since that was included as part of the monthly budget. As long as everything was being taken care of she would have the leeway to spend however she saw fit. The only rule we had was any thing over $1000 required mutual discussion and agreement. Since she didn't like paying bills and budgeting as much as I did, we were going to automate the whole process. A great program for that can be found at www.mvelopes.com. It really is quite amazing. It also would allow me to look every month and make sure everything was going according to plan.

Into that same account went some extra money for her to do whatever she wanted. Of course that amount will vary from couple to couple, so my only advice would be don't be stingy with her. It should be enough so that she doesn't feel like she has to always worry if there is enough when she is out trying to enjoy herself with friends or family or just wants to get something for herself. Also any savings she could achieve from the budgeted amount was hers to keep or she could add it to the savings for which we we had already budgeted.

I personally think that you need to automate the process of giving your wife money, especially if she doesn't work, so that she doesn't have to come to you every time she wants or need something. I also think a man should NEVER marry a woman who he cannot trust with money. IMO, it is just asking for a HEAP of trouble.

Posted by: sidney

If my wife has a dollar in her wallet she feels she must spend it. Probably a carryover from her old ukrainian days. I tried to tell her that it would be wise to keep a little for an emergency. I try to keep 5 dollars in her wallet for pizza with friends or whatever. She does have a credit card and uses restraint with it. There are small items she will see on sale for sending to her family and she does most of the shopping for us. She enjoys this and I don't. This all should change after graduation from college. Before college when she was working she had responsibility for paying for a few items like dish TV and the phone.
Sid

Posted by: j_c

Did not think about this one until about 3-6 months after she arrived. We started having arguements about over spending. My wife has no interest in my income (other than spending it!) or in how much our utilities are despite my best efforts to educate her and involve her.

But eventually we agreed that I would take care of all the payments for household utility bills,mortgage payments,repairs to house and car payments, savings , pensions and my own clothing. I then deposit a fixed sum in a joint account each month which she has a debit card for and she uses this to pay for groceries, clothing for her and our son and anything else she needs or chooses!

However , her parents do send her a little money as well and she is very effective in managing this money!!! I know this is probaly the reverse situation than usual and a lot of you send money to parents , guess we are just lucky that they are in a good financial situation.

We definatley do not use credit cards!

My wife does not work currently, she stays at home to look after our son. We plan on another next year, and the plan is she will not work untill both children are at school fulltime. When she does eventually start work , I think we will have to review the situation.

I think that RP has the right stance on this , it is something you should work out right from the start when they arrive so that it is crystal clear!!!

Regards

JC

Posted by: dagpop

I do give Rima money, when she needs it. She does have a debit card. which she can use most places.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

The subject hasn't come up but it did with my first RW. She now has a debit card and I will provide a certin amount every week for her and her son. This is something we need to discuss.

She doesn't control the money now. She relies n her son. She has her own business so she has the knowledge and ability to budget and spend money wisely. I always thought I was a good at spending money wisely but I think she is better.

I guess I better buy all the "toys" I want before she arrives!!!

Posted by: Jerico

Quote:

I guess I better buy all the "toys" I want before she arrives!!!

Hehehe ya GTR you better do that. LOL

Like i have said before in other threads, I pay ALL the bills. Yes she has a decent job and yes she spends her money on clothes and stuff.
I can afford it right now so its not an issue.

Sometimes though it would be nice if she actually bought food at the Russian store with HER money , lol.
I guess if its a neccesity I pay for it , go figure.
jerry

Posted by: AkMike

My wife works and brings in some but I feel it's hers to do with as she pleases. I also deposit into her debit card (the same one she used in Ukraine after we were married.)and pass out some cash once in a while. She loves to shop, not actually buying just looking and comparing everything.. Me, I hate shopping! When we go for grocerys I fill the cart with what we need and get out.,. Fast and simple. When she goes alone....
it can take several hours to get a tube of toothpaste. Not to mention the other things that seem to appear in the cart all by themselves.

What a change from being a batchlor!

Posted by: deccie

I'm about half way between several of the scenarios here.
First of all, I'm with Mike. I hate shopping.
Even when I go out and buy stuff, I want to get what I want as fast as possible and get out again.

Even in a supermarket I rarely browse and probably only do so once every 6 months or so.

At the same timee I don't make lists and just remember what I want to buy. It generally works and only every now and then I forget something.

Even then, it's probably something I didn't really need.

k is not yet living with me so I am not supporting her daily needs however when something specific comes up, like we plan a trip together or she has a genuine need for a large value item I will send her cash for that (e.g. such as medical expenses.)

As for once we are living here there will be a fixed budget for most things with discretionary money for both of us.

Posted by: freebird

Great thread RP! I was wondering about this too. Has anyone thought about getting a separate Credit card for the wife? then deposit money in every month? I was just thinking that some ATM purchases don't always have the details in the bill. I wonder if it would be instructive to actually SEE what all the purchases are and what they add up to? (I sometimes surprise myself with all the stuff I bought when i see the bill LOL!)

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

(I sometimes surprise myself with all the stuff I bought when i see the bill LOL!)

Sounds like you have a Russian Woman in you screaming to get out! LOL

Posted by: freebird

Yes, that might be!! Now all the guys here that said they don't like shopping, how about shopping in Best Buy or some other "Toy Store"?

Maybe not so hard to while away the time...

I'm lucky, I am not worried abour her when she comes, I think she is very sensible. But I like the idea of her having a way to spend without asking for money, but I know that it is hard to keep track of purchases with cash.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I don't like shopping period. Even when I go to Best Buy ... in amd out.

My girl will not have a problem with money and neither will her son. I wanted to buy stuff in Kiev for her and her son and she said to save my money. Many other instances like this also.

Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

Great thread RP! I was wondering about this too. Has anyone thought about getting a separate Credit card for the wife? then deposit money in every month? I was just thinking that some ATM purchases don't always have the details in the bill. I wonder if it would be instructive to actually SEE what all the purchases are and what they add up to? (I sometimes surprise myself with all the stuff I bought when i see the bill LOL!)

Thanks Freebird,
By the way I love Lynerd Skynrd. If I leave here tomorrow would you still remember me! They had some great tunes. Any way I'm getting off the subject of the thread.

I thought about it and the 1st thing that came to my mind was this. I pictured my girl arriving here to be with me and thinking what she would feel like if everyday she had to ask me for money , whether it be a few dollars or more than that. And I figured out what I was going to do about it.

I know if I was to come to be with someone in a foreign country that was going to be my partner in life I would feel real uncomfortable everyday asking for money. And then I thought that if I give her a debit card that I make deposits to with a decent amount in the account, she would feel good about it, especially not having to always track me down to ask for it.

I think that it also adds to the trust factor immediately. Because if she always has to ask for it she is probably going to think you don't trust her with money.

When I was in Odessa in August on my & my girls birthday I told her we are going out to get her a present. For some of you who don't know, we have the same birthday, which is very cool.

So we go to this mall and start looking around for some earings for her because that is what she wanted. She looks at me and says I don't know what to pick because I don't know what you intend to spend. So I told her my top figure and she started looking around. She found a few that she liked and then started process of elimination. She then picked a pair that was $100.00 less than my top figure.

I told her that if she liked the ones that were $100.00 more to get them. She looked at me and said I love these more than the ones that cost more. I told her that if she really did not love the ones that were $100.00 less I would be upset because I want her to love what I get her and I don't want her to try to make me feel that she is saving me money.

She kissed me and said I love these and I will wear them every single day, it will be as if I have you are with me every day even when you go back to United States. Well of course I was sold on that discussion, so I got her the ones for $100 less and she wears them every single day.

I thought that day was a decent indication of how my girl handles money in a relationship. She didn't beat around the bush at all and immediately said what she wanted to say.

I just want her to feel comfortable and relaxed about money. Of course I don't want her to think money grows on trees. But every time I am with her in the Ukraine she buys me a present that must be at least a weeks
salary and she takes money out of her bag for tips for waiters and I tell her to put it away.

She says thank you when I get her anything. She really sometimes amazes me. But if you met her parents you would see where it comes from. Her parents are the greatest. Always having fun & laughing. You can see the love & comfort in this family. It's so nice, and her parents treat me great.

So I don't think we will have any problems with how we handle finances. But I have heard stories where the women comes to the U S to be with a man and the women has to always ask for little things. I just think it has to get old and make her feel like there is something not right here if she has to always ask for a few dollars.

So I'll give her a debit card so she doesn't have to ask me for money. I just feel it's the right thing to do.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by royalpalace774

Thanks Freebird,
By the way I love Lynerd Skynrd. If I leave here tomorrow would you still remember me! They had some great tunes.

"What's your name, little girl ..."

Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

"What's your name, little girl ..."

Hey Gtr, How about:

What's your name Russian Girl What's your name !

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerico

Yes she has a decent job and yes she spends her money on clothes and stuff.

What is it about clothes?? Even my own wardrobe has exploded in size since getting involved with K. And it isn't because I've bought much! About the only thing I bought was the suit for the aborted wedding and THAT is still sitting in her flat but my wardrobe here is still full.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by royalpalace774

Hey Gtr, How about:

What's your name Russian Girl What's your name !

Sound like a parity/theme song for the RMP!