The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian...

International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

     


                                

              

Pages: 1

RMP Is Going Downhill Fast!

(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: Chrismc

Time to get on my soapbox! this place needs

I have been thinking of posting this for some time guys, but today I logged in and all I see is spam and general crap that is nothing to do with why RMP was founded and certainly has no Russian or FSU content whatsoever.

I have been an active member of RMP for well over 2years now and in that time have made over 4000 posts, one or two of them pretty good, even if I say so myself

But in the last few months I have been visiting less and less, I used to love this place, but I feel lately the content that is being posted is pretty much the same old same old, intermixed with so much crap from Abu Dhabi and places.

What I hate more than anything is the fact that when I click on new messages, I have to wade through maybe a dozen spam threads and content negative threads about everything rather than the theme this place was set up for. The forum also seems to me to be running slower and slower, so wading through all the crap is bad enough, but to have it take an age to download and refresh makes it even worse, that alone makes me want to just skip threads and not read them and it makes it much less likely for me to get involved.

I am a Mod at another forum and have been for quite some time now, in the early days I found time for both places very easily, but I feel my interest is really being tested these days unfortunately on RMP. We don't have any of these slow loading or spam issues over there, but we do have some very very good experienced guys and women no less that are willing to help others.

The good old days of 12 months to two years ago seem to have gone and also sadly have many of the good and regular posters. Don't get me wrong, there are some new entertaining and good intelligent guys that have joined here over the last few months and it is shame these guys have to wade through the mindless drivel and information negative threads to get to the treasure chest that this place used to be.

The spam is a major problem here, the Admin has more or less deserted the place and seems to me that it would rather have all the Abu Dhabi spammers they can muster, than the great posters that used to be around this forum. Nothing is being done about the spam situation even though lots of people have come up with good workable ideas to resolve the issue, that speaks volumes of what the admin really take notice of here and then we have the likes of Cheb and others driven out because some unknown PC one post wonder decides he doesn't like something, come on guys get a grip. Who really matters here, the one post wonder who has no inclination of ever going to the FSU and probably couldn't even find it on a map, the guy(s) who says every meeting, communication or visit is a scam and goes into unbelievable rhymes and tirades of pathetic drivel that no one understands or the guys who made this place great, most of which have seen the light and switched off

Well something had to be said, it is a shame it has come to this, at least I have my trip to Ukraine to look forward to next week, but come on Admin/mods, or whoever, get this place sorted out once and for all and lets get it back to what it used to be, a fun, relaxed and information rich site for anything related to the FSU.

Chris




Posted by: sidney

I'll agree on many of these issues but still find many threads relating to russian travel, culture or whatever. The one thread wonder you list was definately a problem for me as well. The spam has multiplied but most can be spotted before having to open the thread. There are many good people here that have much to contribute and that is what keeps me coming back for I believe more then two years. I post much less then I have in the past but then again I have less computer time with family commitments taking a front row.
I feel I've had success but have taken a different route then most here. Some would have probably seen red flags with my relationship with age, travel, or even the way we met. This was all before the net overwhelmed us with info so today thing might be different. One thing I do know is that scammers have gotten worse and probably will continye to do so.
I wish you luck next week with your trip and hope you find everything you are looking for in your future mate.
Sid


Posted by: deccie

Chrismc, your a..

Personally, I think that our founder now appears to have no time to stop by has also contributed somewhat to this.

Yes, I know. Real life gets in the way.

Khashyar and Lena added a special tone to this place and even though I like a lot of the mods a lot, they don't quite come close to duplicating.

Take GTR's recent elevation as an example. Ages ago such an elevation would have been the subject of a congratulatory post. Now, not a murmur.

If forums follow a wave then we are surely at the bottom of a trough right now.


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by sidney
I wish you luck next week with your trip and hope you find everything you are looking for in your future mate.
Sid


Thanks Sid for your good luck message.


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by deccie
Chrismc, your a..

Personally, I think that our founder now appears to have no time to stop by has also contributed somewhat to this.

Yes, I know. Real life gets in the way.

Khashyar and Lena added a special tone to this place and even though I like a lot of the mods a lot, they don't quite come close to duplicating.

Take GTR's recent elevation as an example. Ages ago such an elevation would have been the subject of a congratulatory post. Now, not a murmur.

If forums follow a wave then we are surely at the bottom of a trough right now.


That is one of the things I was meaning, reading between the lines Deccie, however, it is not the only problem as I see it. Khashyar did bring something different to the place, his absence does not help that is for sure and he probably has valid reasons for that.

But in addition to that, the spam problem is just a plain PIA for many and no one seems able or willing to tackle it. I also have issues with the slowness of the site, yet I don't with most other sites on the net.

Another sadly lacking element on here right now is posts by RW or any women for that matter, nearly all of the old RW seem to have gone AWOL, MSP, is never around anymore, Jill and Inlove pop by from time to time, but for the most part that is it!

IMO I just think these things needed saying, it is no use just putting up with things, IMO this place needs a major overhaul.


.


Posted by: ira156

Hey Chris. Mate the place was going downhill before i went to Russia...that was 4 months ago now....ive been back nearly 2 months now and i pop on each day and i just cant even be bothered. I remember when i joined the amount of good info ....serious discussuions and ..yep just a good laugh from time to time...even the odd healthy ( argunement) debate. now????????


The experienced guys have gone and there are just a couple of the old die hards like GTR and Cheb AK and a few others that are left....a real shame. It seems to me the amount of utter rubbish perpetuated on here now is the reason many have left.

Maybe it needs to be changed to the anti-russian/ relationship site seeing all the negative crap thats here now.

As i say a real shame as coming on here was a real enjoyable part of my day. Take care mate...cheers


Posted by: ira156

sorry chris i forgot to mention happy 50th hope you have a great one ...cjeers


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by ira156
Hey Chris. Mate the place was going downhill before i went to Russia...that was 4 months ago now....ive been back nearly 2 months now and i pop on each day and i just cant even be bothered. I remember when i joined the amount of good info ....serious discussuions and ..yep just a good laugh from time to time...even the odd healthy ( argunement) debate. now????????


The experienced guys have gone and there are just a couple of the old die hards like GTR and Cheb AK and a few others that are left....a real shame. It seems to me the amount of utter rubbish perpetuated on here now is the reason many have left.

Maybe it needs to be changed to the anti-russian/ relationship site seeing all the negative crap thats here now.

As i say a real shame as coming on here was a real enjoyable part of my day. Take care mate...cheers

Yes I agree Ian, that is why I wrote what I did, not necessarily to complain but because I care about this place. I use to enjoy it too, but it is more of a chore now unfortunately.

Chris


Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
I have only been a member here for about 10 months. This place really helped me when I came back from my 1st trip to the FSU. I was in a confused state when 1st got here because of a women I went to see. And now with 3 trips to the FSU and finding a great girl there & many guys here posting to my questions I am very comfortable taking these trips now.

I don't know what it was like before I got on here in Dec 0f 2006 , but I care about this place and I would love to see it get back to where it should be also.

Maybe Chrismc you should send a personal message to Kayshar about your feelings on this. If I am correct it is you & Gtr who have been here the longest.

If you feel that it is broke here I am sure many feel that it is worth fixing!


Posted by: waiting123

These are all valid points, and we have been working to keep the spam under control. We have implemented a usage verification tool, that the bots have seem to beat. We have tried to implement a more difficult verification key, but it is not working well with the servers and causes forum issues.

I am currently seeing if it is possible to have all posts from "Abu Dhabi" put into a moderator que, so far, the only thing that I see can be done, is moderate all new posts by members, and that is probably not the best way to go.

The RMP is still a good place, I believe that the spam has cut down considerably, I have been banning IP address' for those who are confirmed spammers/bots. We try to verify all new members as soon as they sign up with the forum.

One major issue right now is that we are in need of a moderator in the Australia/Asia area. Most of the spam seems to be posting during our night hours.

I would love to accomadate and make the necessary changes to make all happy and create a thriving forum.

Please PM me if you have thoughts, suggestions, or ideas.

Khashyar unfortunatley has been running wild and barely has time to breath, but he is aware of the forum and it's problems.

We have a wonderful site here, one of the largest on the internet, which is the primary reason you see more spam here.

but with a little more time and effort, all will be fixed.


Posted by: azamuner

I'm in the same boat as rp here. I've only been here a short time but I've learned a lot from this site and from the people here. Chris you are right that this site is on a downward slide and I for one am sad because I like visiting this site, learning and interacting with others.

The spam is out of hand for sure. I report posts every morning but those Abu Dhabi buggers are persistent.

I've also noticed that I don't see a lot of new content. Mostly it's the same posts over and over. Not that this is always a bad thing. I like to read about people's experiences in Russia and Ukraine as well as views on RW. Since I am interested in RW I feel that I need to educate myself as much as possible so I know if I am making the right decisions and what mistakes to avoid.

I am glad to see stories like the one TheWongs is writing, even if it is a long one, It brings some new life into the forums.

We all need a reason to keep coming here so let's hope we can turn this place around.


Posted by: redhawk

dont want to sound like an a-- kisser, but i for one REALLY appreciate this place,and i think i have read nearly all the old threads in this forum,before i went to russia for the first time in april 2007. for me, it was like a textbook i could refer to, before i found RMP, all i had to go on was elenas e-book. that was a waste of time,as i already practice half that courting stuff anyway.
i like to research everything i do before i do it and this place allowed me to do so,with feedback from very knowledgable,caring individuals.
i try to make sensible intelligent,and entertaining posts,occasionally i vent,but never in a personally demeaning manner. i agree there seems to be problems,but all things considered,this is still a good place to be.


Posted by: redhawk

hey! i think our state copied your flag man!! i never noticed the similarities before.


Posted by: disculmawsu

I love this forum and find the information on very useful. I planned two vacactions to Russia based upon the excellent advice from the travel portions of forum.
While I have some differing views from many you, I have enjoyed reading all of your comments. I start my day with Russian Meeting Place, Moscow Times, and the Itar-Tass New Agency.
I have also greatly enjoyed reading about travel reports and about the romances.
I hope that the forum continues and is revitalized.


Posted by: GoeastLJ

I agree with you, Chrismc. I do not find it difficult to spend all my time working these days because RMP ain't what it used to be.

But, hey, the pattern seems to be that people will spend more time here when they are either looking or waiting for their FSU bride. Once they find her, life starts and there is no time for them to come here - or it is not interesting anymore. Just look at what people write about - it's all about missing our brides. We don't hear much about those that are happily settled. They pop in once in a while and even then, they literary drop just a line.

The other interesting point is that made by Ira56. We are missing healthy and grown up debate. The most popular threads were those that either annoyed or interested readers. To be blunt, we have become just too pally. No one wants to step out of line. We agree with each other on everything!!! Not that this is a bad thing. I personally did not see any problem with people attacking each other ideas as long personalities were kept out. This is why I have always said that I wouldn't like to find a woman who agreed with everything that I said.


Posted by: Chrismc

Well if nothing else it has started us talking about things and the problems, it is long overdue IMO. Everyone has made valid points, this place was a great forum until earlier this year, in fact I never visited any others because I didn't need too, what we need now is some new blood, some new topics, up to date information, some fun and some getting back to basics and the reasons we are all here and of course dumping of all the SPAM!

If nothing else, I am glad my first post has got people thinking about things once again and how we can get this forum back to what it was in the good old days


Posted by: GoeastLJ

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
If nothing else, I am glad my first post has got people thinking about things once again and how we can get this forum back to what it was in the good old days

Well, it would help if GTR could finish his trip report. From Moldova and back just fizzled out! It's strange how reserved people become once they fall in love.


Posted by: deccie

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoeastLJ

The other interesting point is that made by Ira56. We are missing healthy and grown up debate.

Well, you have to remember that Ira himself grabbed his bat and his ball and left because he didn't like one particular adult debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoeastLJ
This is why I have always said that I wouldn't like to find a woman who agreed with everything that I said.


It's interesting you mention that Goeast because I went looking for something similar. Boy did I find it!


Posted by: deccie

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting123

I would love to accomadate and make the necessary changes to make all happy and create a thriving forum.



Waiting, IMNSHO the biggest difference between Khashyar's moderation and the others is that he frequently posted losts of thread starters that got people off and thinking, perhaps in a difference direction than they expected. It acted as a prompter to get people to post their thoughts who didn't think they had much to contribute initially.


Posted by: deccie

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoeastLJ
Well, it would help if GTR could finish his trip report. From Moldova and back just fizzled out! It's strange how reserved people become once they fall in love.


Not really. You have to remember a lot of these women are very private and don't like the idea of any details of what is essentially their life too to be posted on the 'net.

For one, I would not dream of posting my fiance's picture because she isn't comfortable with it. I send photos of our trips together to family and friends and that's as far as it goes.


Posted by: bingism

Hi Chris and Happy Birthday mate...

I don't mean to split hairs, but this site isn't going downhill, it's already at the bottom of the piste, getting slowly sloshed on mulled wine and whisky.... For me this site is nothing more than a way of keeping up to speed with a few old friends and offering a little piece of friendly advice sometimes. To be honest, I'm sick to the hind teeth of what the place has become and the trolls that have come to dominate most of what happens here.... Luckily one seems to have been silenced and I'm sure the other will drop by at some time to add his usual drop of fragrant content...

There are still some useful and interesting things posted, and sometimes someone will ask a question that sparks a rally of varying opinion. However, so often the thread trails off into a tiff with one or two members slugging it out (there's often a troll lurking somewhere).

Cutting to the chase, I can't be bothered with it much and can't imagine that it will change. The only real way that any of this is going to change is if the membership changes too and I can't see that happening in this happy-clappy PC forum that the RMP has become.

On that note, I sit back and await the arrival of the pessimistic demi-god(s) to prove my point...


Posted by: redhawk

happy birthday chris!! your RW too deccie? that is why i havent posted photos of my elena and my trip either,she is the same way about photos.
heck,im lucky if she even lets me take a picture of her-"my hair! dear,please!"


Posted by: Longfellow

It's a measure of degrees.

Yes, there is trouble and somethings we would like to see changed.
On the other side of the coin, this is a good forum - perhaps the best available.
If you would see change occur, and methods implemented... what do you offer to this solution?
I've never been a believer in complaint without constructive suggestion.
How will you ask it be changed for betterment of all?

I do not agree with statements that administration is negligent. If you have experience in such administration , you know too well the challenge of balancing freedoms with healthy input.
There is no simple solution... if you think there is, I have a promising land offer in Florida that just might suit you.
Eventually, it is we, the involved members, who need to take ownership of the forum. Support its mission and rules. Be the heart of the group.
You want to relegate power to a few admin/mods???
Yeah, that is a good plan.... see how well it works in the interest of comman America when the government is given all power to 'do for us'...

If you have such challenge to the spam that arrives here, offer to moderate or simply ignore it.
We all manage this in our regualr inbox... why do you think this Inet forum should be exempt?!


Posted by: EasyTarget

Kash has so much going on with his documentary that he hasn't had time to keep tabs on RMP. Can't blame him.

Neglect the bridge long enough and it will fall down, no matter how many people are using it.

I may have some news to post...but too soon to know for sure.


Posted by: Jerico

Well I have to agree with pretty much what everyone is saying here. It has gone a little south here.

I think the number one reason is political correctness. In my opinion it has destoryed this forum.

It is ridiculous on this forum. Cant say this , dont do that , may offend him.Crazy. Sounds like my work place which I try to leave at work when I am off.
Dont know if its the mods fault or not on problems here but the PC police have gotten terrible IMO.

I miss the debates with Deccie and IRA ,LOL.
I found it interesting how you Aussies felt about issues in the world but now nothing because we cant get into debates here, Oh no.
Cant have heated discussions , better close the thread.
Sometimes I see a thread was closed that i was following and just laugh that some moderator closed it but hey , thats the way it has gotten here.
Ya they were not always Russian related but most of us are in relationships with Russian girls so its ok again IMO.


Its hard to believe but I have been married almost 3 years to my Russian wife and really have no reason to post here . Still I check this place out because we are all similar types of people as far as relationships. I like to hear the storys ,good and bad.

My wife also dosn`t like me talking about her or showing pictures so i dont post much.
Really a lot of things have changed in this process so I cant give great advice but sometimes i like to think I help some people out in their Russian journey so to speak.
I have a few people i know who are going through this process of looking for a foriegn girl . They never would of done this if it was not for my storys of the women and the cities and sites ,LOL.

I think its great that simply from what i have told them it was enough to convince them to write to Russian women and go meet them.
They come back changed men. I think its cool. Perhaps they come back with different experiences from Russia but mainly they were thankful i opened their eyes to not just settle for whats around you.
Jerry


Posted by: ira156

Quote:
Originally Posted by deccie
Well, you have to remember that Ira himself grabbed his bat and his ball and left because he didn't like one particular adult debate.



It's interesting you mention that Goeast because I went looking for something similar. Boy did I find it!



He HE Decci.....which debate are we refering to here Dec. I actually took my bat and ball because i moved house and then went to Rusiia for 2 and a half months. When i came back a couple of months ago half of what was here was the same SCAM alerts about the same old crap from the same instigator....now its Nigerian banking scams.......ect ect. And it still is.


Count the amount of experience that was lost 4 or 5 months ago......the fact that there is no longer any debate.....any joking around. Really Decci do you think the place is the same as it was........Yes i know things change and thats inevitable.......but ( just my opinion ) its been for the worse.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
I have only been on RMP since Dec 2006. But I know you guys want to enjoy coming here and posting your opinions and story's.

SO LET'S THINK POSITIVE & TRY TO FIX IT.

I don't think leaving here and saying I GIVE UP ON THIS should be anyone's attitude about this place.

I love hearing what you guys have to say about your travels to FSU & Russia. I love hearing the details of story's that you guys post. I picture it in my head as I read it and I look forward to getting home and turning on my laptop and coming here.

We can go on for days about what we don't like here and what problems we are noticing. If we don't like what is happening , let's work on it and fix it.

I read that Kayshar is busy with a documentary. Well I guess in a day or two when he reads this thread we are going to hear from him. This place is too big and has too many members to just fall apart.

I see the porn spam and I ignore it because I know when it's noticed by a moderator it will get locked & stopped.

And then I see some guys on here who have a way of trying to push your buttons & get a rise out of you. And they try and use very educated words and phrases to get you thinking they are so smart, or they just plain out say you are out of your mind. Maybe they are master degree graduates or maybe they are waiters in a restaurant.

We are all equal on here and nobody is above any one else. They might think they are in their mind. So let them think they are the coolest thing since sliced bread.

I agree we all came here because of something or some reason having to do with RUSSIA or the FSU. So now that it has been brought up , let's try to make it better because complaining about it won't make it better.

The reality here is no matter how much someone tries to make you feel inferior or knock you down or tell you they agree with you, it's their opinion and that's all it is. I see that here once in a while and I feel good about me and my way of living my life , so I really don't care if someone tries to knock me.

The fact is this, if you feel someone here attacks you or tries to make you feel small, that's their problem as far as I'm concerned.

LET'S GET THIS PLACE WHERE YOU ALL WANT IT TO BE!

That's my opinion and if you like what I said then COOL. If not I will still eat at my favorite Tai restaurant tonight and love every minute of it. Basil Chicken is waiting for me.

I love you guys and remember how many times you told another member here that we are a family and a team.


Posted by: deccie

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerico
I miss the debates with Deccie and IRA ,LOL.

Aww... Jerry. How sweet of you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerico
Its hard to believe but I have been married almost 3 years to my Russian wife and really have no reason to post here .

I think you hit it. For you, your marriage is just normal life now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerico
I think its great that simply from what i have told them it was enough to convince them to write to Russian women and go meet them.
They come back changed men. I think its cool. Perhaps they come back with different experiences from Russia but mainly they were thankful i opened their eyes to not just settle for whats around you.
Jerry


That is one of the nice things about RMP. Hopefully a bit has been done to reduce the population of the keyboard romeo's just a little.

A lot of people went through that transition of "thinking about it" to "I've gone and done it!"

I still think your first major "WTF am I doing!" moment,as you step of the plane the first time you land in Russia.. is one incredible buzz


Posted by: deccie

Quote:
Originally Posted by ira156
I actually took my bat and ball because i moved house and then went to Rusiia for 2 and a half months. :


Cool, so you'd have something to post then Ira? *hint*

Quote:
Originally Posted by ira156
Count the amount of experience that was lost 4 or 5 months ago......the fact that there is no longer any debate.....any joking around. Really Decci do you think the place is the same as it was........Yes i know things change and thats inevitable.......but ( just my opinion ) its been for the worse. :smoking4


There was a core group of about a dozen to twenty people who used to post here when I first started that no longer do so. If your referring to Bob and Mark leaving.. well I will leave it to others to mourn their moving on. I know they had many friends and helped people but.. not, their style wasn't for me.

For me, there are other regulars who contributed a great deal more that I miss. ConnerVT, Jpierce, inlove, Jill, MSP and I could go on.. There is obviously a cumulative effect here. People move on for a variety of reasons. Maybe they are in a particularly busy part of their lives now or net access isn't so easy - like MisterMopar. I certainly did not agree with all of them but they were fun to have around. *sniff*


Posted by: OzGuyLooking

I wasn't going to post here but temptation got the better of me so I will make my points and leave you all to ponder.

The RMP used to be great, not just for figuring out what to do in a relationship with a lady (or man) from the FSU but also for just chatting about the FSU or anything that was relevant to our lives at the time. It was a real COMMUNITY. However, that changed, the RMP become clicky and people, who were not mods, were telling others not to do things that they themselves were doing. Then the real rot set in and Mods were doing things that ordinary members were told not to do.

When you have a Mod resorting to cyber bullying and telling you in no uncertain terms you are not welcome because you "don't think straight" then there is a real problem.

All of the old membership, of which I am probably one of the youngest, (ie only been a member for 2 years and 6 days) knows and remembers the "heated" discussions about whatever we wanted to discuss, and we all took our share of flak and gave it out to, but when some people start telling others they cannot do something and then someone else does the same thing and doesn't get told the same thing then there is a problem. The rules needed to be applied to all people not just a select few.

I didn't take part in what I saw happening with a certain picture because I could see how someone would not like a similar thing done to them, and I would be one of the 1st in most circumstances to get into a jibe with someone, but I think when we have such a multicultural community we MUST be aware of the feelings of others and if we are not aware then at least take into account what they say. I remember where a member and I were having a "discussion" and he absoutely bagged everything about Russia, to which I replied in the vien of "I wonder how your wife feels about this". All to often we get caught up in our own actions and behavior only to insult, even so slightly, others. This is a probelm when we are all supposed to be adults.

I have deliberately taken a back seat on 2 occasions in this forum simply because I didn't want to be a part of the crap that was happening. Funny thing is on both occassions when I have come back it is still continuing. One thing I do not appreciate is copping the blame, and yes I did cop some of it for Mark and Bob even though I hadn't been around for 3 or so months.

I like this place and I would like to be here much more than I am but unfortunately lifes circumstances don't allow much participation atm. I much prefer the RMP over certain other similar places. I think we all need to realise that life happens and people change, fo the better and worse it seems, and these changes cause people to come into and go out of "our lives". I wouldn't be saddened by someone leaving because their life is better, be happy for them. I would however be saddened if someone left due to crap being dished out that everyone else thought was acceptable.

Just my thoughts.


Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Sorry Chris forgot to say Happy Birthday. HOpe you had a good one mate.


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking
Sorry Chris forgot to say Happy Birthday. HOpe you had a good one mate.


Thanks Michael for the wishes and your post in general.


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by bingism
Hi Chris and Happy Birthday mate...

On that note, I sit back and await the arrival of the pessimistic demi-god(s) to prove my point...


Thanks Martyn and also for a great post and I promise to call you sometime, lets hope it's before that demi-god gets to you


Posted by: joelunchbox

Hmmm This thread is exactly why I joined RMP. It has me thinking.
Right now I am thinking of why did I join? To gain knowledge at first and later to hopefully pass on some of what I learned. The off topic posts--some were entertaining, some were distracting, and some I joined in.
Over the last three years I have thought about leaving. Why? Personal attacks. I don't think free speech means we SHOULD impugn anyone's integrity--and while I am writing this a few members posts are flashing before my eyes. What we post here is an opinion--take it or leave it. But when we start bashing each other it masks the positive posts and prevents others from seeing the good here.
As an example....for a while I blocked a member's posts. It wasn't that the comments were bad but the information was presented in a manner that put me off. I still read the posts but I had to prepare myself to read them. After about three weeks, I noticed that the comments had become much less irratating. I wondered if my blocking had an effect! haha I unblocked the comments. And then I saw something that I did not expect to see here.... Many members continued to "pile on" the member even though the comments were very useful and accomodating. We, the RMP, couldn't let it go. We kept reminding that individual that once upon a time, "they said blah blah blah". Why can't we let it go??? I am not mentioning a name because I have seen this happen more than once.
I am expecting to marry my FSU girl in the next 6 months. My focus is on K1 issues which is not this forums baliwick. But I still love the psych stuff that pops up here-relationship issues, life in the FSU, etc. I have never been a big poster but I hope that I have brought something worthwile to this table. Was it delicious? Was it crap? It probably depends. Will I continue to visit after marriage....probably somewhat less. I am hoping that my legacy will entice others to join and add to the experience of looking for, meeting and maybe even marrying a lady from the FSu. If our posts inhibit someone from finding that information, we need to rethink our posts. Enough for now...


Posted by: Jill

Cautiously dipping my toe in the water.....

Well, first off I will say that there are a number of "old timers" whom I miss terribly

And I do appreciate what all of you are saying about the direction of the forum; however, I tend to see these things as the natural ebb of flow of an online community of this nature. As others have pointed out, once people marry, settle down, work out their greencard/immigration issues, and life becomes more, well, normal, they no longer have as many questions and concerns to post to the forum. And they are often simply too busy to stop by regularly to post--having a foreign spouse can be surprisingly time consuming And with time, life just sort of moves on for them......It is perfectly normal and expected that such people will start to post less and less frequently and evenutally stop posting alltogether. At least I think so.

Meanwhile new members come to fill in the gaps left by those who have moved on. This is normal and to be expected. It is the circle of life The problem arises in the personalities and expectations of such new members. When the , er, quality of certain new members begins to fall, the quality of the discussions begins to fall as well. (Obviously I am not referring to anyone here, but I'm sure you all know what I am talking about).

A forum is as stong--or weak--as its active membership. Obviously admin and mods play a role in this as well, in terms of their guidance of the topics and the development of the forum's overall tone and atmosphere. For that Khashyar is especially missed--but as previously pointed out, this just can't be helped for the time being. There are only 24 hours in a day, and sometimes you just can't do it all. Not even Khashyar

So what is the solution? Well, one thing we can do is be more proactive in creating some interesting new topics that will make people think, discuss, and debate. And while I do believe that respect is of the utmost importance, I do not think that necessarily means the strict and fearful avoidance of all controversial topics. Sometimes it's not a matter of WHAT you say, but HOW you say it that determines the life expectancy of a thread....

And I also think that some of these issues will resolve themselves in time. New members will appear and will breath new life into some of the old discussions.

In the meantime, dear members, remember that this is YOUR forum too. And I know you are a creative bunch, so let's see some new ideas! Some new discussions! Some musings! Some observations on life in Russia! I personally challenge each one of you here to come up with at least one new interesting, thought provoking thread today. Let me see what you guys are really made of


Posted by: GentleGiant

Perhaps there should be a special medal for those of us who have actually acted and been out to the FSU, to differentiate us from the loud mouths who talk big but act small.
That way we would know who was BS ing and who was real.

There is a lot more cr@p on here than there was when I first joined, CC2 is actually my third user name, for various reasons I cannot access the email address's needed to reactivate either of the other accounts, so in total I have been around for nearly two years.

Things will run down while the "Boss" is away; hopefully when this docu is finished he will return and clean house, until then I will ignore the dross and concentrate on the great information posted here; perhaps not as much as before, but hopefully as some of the current crop goes out and actually meets a real woman, rather than just talking about it, we will start to get some more great posts.

For instance, I have recently started writing to a woman in Kyrgyzstan, ( I have to check each time I spell it !!); and trying and failing to phone her.
Well yesterday I finally managed to get through AND she could hear me ( several times I could hear her but she could not hear me), and we talked for about 20 minutes.
Today I went to check my online phone bill, I had worked out that it should cost about 15p per minute but; due to a lovely bug in the billing system of my telephone supplier, I have only been charged for the time the phone was ringing, 16 seconds !!!!!!!
So if there is anyone in the UK thinking of switching ISP/Phone provider, and call overseas a lot give me a PM and I will whisper the name in your ear; but keep it quiet, if they find out and fix the bug I will be really pi$$ed !!!!


Posted by: redhawk

great idea for the medal. not to sound stupid, but this forum is different from the ones ive used before,i checked the faq,and it doesnt tell you, how do i post a new thread???is different from car forums ive been on. good luck on your gal


Posted by: firemansam

Quote:
Originally Posted by redhawk
how do i post a new thread???

G'day Red,
Choose the topic you want o put your new thread in and you will find a "New Thread" button located at the top left of screen.

Only remember to put in a title for your thread or you will be gently reminded when you hit the post button

Sam.


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleGiant2

T
For instance, I have recently started writing to a woman in Kyrgyzstan, ( I have to check each time I spell it !!);


Easy resolved GG, get her to move to England, no spelling problems then


Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
Easy resolved GG, get her to move to England, no spelling problems then

Ja! Everyone can spell Anglishland!


Posted by: GentleGiant

The problem here is what do we call the place ??
England?
United Kingdom??
Great Britain???

As far as the yanks are concerned all three are part of Ewe-rope and not far from Phlem-land, you know, where they speak Phlemmish. ;-).

As for getting her over here, well it is early days, but I must admit that I find her (AMERICAN!!) accent rather sexy.

Not sure how easy it would be getting her in though, what with the constant terror alerts and her being a Muslim.


Posted by: Longfellow

Golly, yeah! That strong A sound is a turn-on, for Billy and mountain goat equally!


Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleGiant2
As for getting her over here, well it is early days, but I must admit that I find her (AMERICAN!!) accent rather sexy.

GG, you must have not gotten the memo that Kyrgyzstan is part of the US now.

Most likely her accent has developed from tv, films and music.


Posted by: Cheburashka

I think Jill is awesome and the best thing that ever happened to the moderator "team".

I used to post something Russia related every day, but most people here were more interested in picking up women than Russian country and culture. So I quit.

I used to log in four times a day and delete spam posts. If we approach spammers like "war" and not a tea party we will keep them away. It doesn't seem to be working very well lately.

There are some great people here that simply need motivation to share with the board and to rekindle their belief in what this forum is supposed to be about. Maybe it is time for someone to ride in and give a "Braveheart" speech to rouse the troops. (And I hope he doesn't offend anyone who has the right to post about dead boards because we want to be politically correct).

I believe that lurkers can become posters and boards can come back from the dead. I hope this board doesn't go the way of Russia.com.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Hello all.

It is a little sad to read this thread and find out how upset people are with this board. I know the RMP has helped me in so many ways and I feel I owe the members, mods, and administrators a debt of gratitude. I don't think I would have continued persuing a RW if it weren't for many of you who sent heartfelt e-mails and gave me your support. I still spend a lot of time on the RMP because it is my security blanket ... it helps me through all the troubled times I had and currently having. I am amazed at the pioneers who didn't have the support and good wishes that this board has brought me.

Maybe we need a "complaint department" thread. This thread woud be to submit good and bad things happening on the RMP.

I haven't noticed a slow screen refresh time, anyone else?

I am sorry if someone thinks my thread is not complete. I know of a few things I can update and I will do this. Yes my girl is superstitious and doesn't want her photo posted or saying to much about her or our relationship. This is one reason why my thread may seem incomplete.

As far as spam goes, waiting123 is correct, we need someone in Asia, Australia, and maybe the FSU to be moderators to delete spam while the USA is sleeping.

One thing I've noticed is the lack of trip reports. When I was a new member I remember so many wonderful TR. They inspired people, brought out questions, and there where many congratulatory replies. So please members, if possible post a trip report. I feel it is the heart of this board because it brings us all together ... to learn ... to support ... and feel happy for a member.

Thank you Chris for bringing this problem out in the open. I hope we can overcome this problem in the near future.


Posted by: freebird

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting123
These are all valid points, and we have been working to keep the spam under control. We have implemented a usage verification tool, that the bots have seem to beat. We have tried to implement a more difficult verification key, but it is not working well with the servers and causes forum issues.

I am currently seeing if it is possible to have all posts from "Abu Dhabi" put into a moderator que, so far, the only thing that I see can be done, is moderate all new posts by members, and that is probably not the best way to go.

The RMP is still a good place, I believe that the spam has cut down considerably, I have been banning IP address' for those who are confirmed spammers/bots. We try to verify all new members as soon as they sign up with the forum.

One major issue right now is that we are in need of a moderator in the Australia/Asia area. Most of the spam seems to be posting during our night hours.

I would love to accomadate and make the necessary changes to make all happy and create a thriving forum.

Please PM me if you have thoughts, suggestions, or ideas.

Khashyar unfortunatley has been running wild and barely has time to breath, but he is aware of the forum and it's problems.

We have a wonderful site here, one of the largest on the internet, which is the primary reason you see more spam here.

but with a little more time and effort, all will be fixed.


Thanks for your hard work Waiting, and for the post, it's good that everyone seems to have taken this in a positive spirit.

Great post Cheburashka, yes it may be true that many here are looking to find a RW/UW, some of us are also interested in the culture. I for one am not looking to bring my bride over and "westernize" her, but I am looking for many, many years of sharing ideas & experiences from opposite sides of the world. I hope you will keep posting your items here, they are great. (the russian lawn mower was hilarious!) There are many of us who are glad that you have stayed here!

P.S. I second your thought, thanks to Jill for her work as moderator, & for her great input. (so anyone who wants to bash ALL the AW watch out!)

As for new ideas - how about this: Waiting - is it possible on this system to have another type of user, somewhere between "Moderator" and "member"? I was thinking if it was possible to have some senior members designated - for example "Monitor". If they see any spam they could flag it, then it would be removed from the board and put into a holding box, when the next moderator logs in they could take action, deleting, banning etc. If the moderator decides to allow it they could release it, or PM the (newbie) poster to remind them of the rules.


Posted by: azamuner

That's not a bad idea freebird.

I certainly am not looking for a mod position but I'd be happy to help control the spam on the boards. Since I am on the east coast of Canada I am US Eastern time +1 so I am up and at work well before any of the west coasters.

I do agree that we need someone in Australia and elsewhere to get the overnight ones.

I'm sure that now we have all vented our frustrations and made everyone aware of the problem, the next stage is to try to fix it. So it looks like we have the right idea. I'd hate to see this site slip as I come here every day to see what's going on and what I can learn from others.


Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:
Originally Posted by azamuner
That's not a bad idea freebird.

I certainly am not looking for a mod position but I'd be happy to help control the spam on the boards. Since I am on the east coast of Canada I am US Eastern time +1 so I am up and at work well before any of the west coasters.

I do agree that we need someone in Australia and elsewhere to get the overnight ones.

I'm sure that now we have all vented our frustrations and made everyone aware of the problem, the next stage is to try to fix it. So it looks like we have the right idea. I'd hate to see this site slip as I come here every day to see what's going on and what I can learn from others.
With Viagra, i'm up just as early as you!!!!!


Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:
Originally Posted by freebird
As for new ideas - how about this: Waiting - is it possible on this system to have another type of user, somewhere between "Moderator" and "member"? I was thinking if it was possible to have some senior members designated - for example "Monitor". If they see any spam they could flag it, then it would be removed from the board and put into a holding box, when the next moderator logs in they could take action, deleting, banning etc. If the moderator decides to allow it they could release it, or PM the (newbie) poster to remind them of the rules.
Good idea but this is easily fixed in other ways. I am a member of an automotive forum and there is a welcome screen in which new members can post in after they sign up to tell everyone a bit about them etc. It is here that all the moderation of users is done as no bot has ever attempted another go. If the new member seems legit they are allowed into the main section to post, everyone can view it but only verified members can post in it. Another thing just incase the RMP is considered more of a target to your average spammer/bot then you verify anything up to 5 posts for each new user. If they stuff up at all then you wipe the IP totally.

Another thing that I have seen be a problem on forums is the size of the member list. How many members are there on the RMP and how many of them have posted?


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleGiant2
The problem here is what do we call the place ??
England?
United Kingdom??
Great Britain???


he he guess what GG, I had this discussion a few weeks ago with my UW, she wasn't sure of the difference either, so I had to go into enourmous details of how it all came about

Then a week or so later I was teasing her about speaking Icelandic and she said to me she thought Icelanders spoke English and was shocked when I told her they have their own language, of course, I knew she would mix up Iceland with Ireland.

She was quite relieved when I came clean


Posted by: Chrismc

Some good ideas guys, but I am sure the spam problem can be resolved without having to do it manually all the time. It cannot be that hard surely.

On other forums they have site helpers, which sit between the normal members and the mods, but to be honest I don't see the point, you are a mod or you are not, simple! The sites where they do have helpers are ones that have thousands of people posting a day, not a few dozen, so that is often why they are required IMO.


Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
Some good ideas guys, but I am sure the spam problem can be resolved without having to do it manually all the time. It cannot be that hard surely.
Yeah you use software that allows a host type file to block entire IPs. This is where most bots and other spammers come from and it is one of the simplest things everyone can use to add a layer of protection to their own PCs. The only thing is I am not sure if this software allows that type of system


Posted by: GentleGiant

Just remember that not all spam is deposited by bots; another forum I am a member of has been having problems with people signing up, verifying their details THEN spewing spam across all the forums; so they have started posting the verified address's, including names and telephone numbers where they can get them, the internet is a great tool for rooting out details based on tiny pieces of information.
The latest is living in Mumbai, we have his name, address, and phone number; now I happen to have a friend going there in a few weeks, so we are planning a "Drive-By Trouting", driving up, slapping him about the head with a wet fish and driving off again.


Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleGiant2
Just remember that not all spam is deposited by bots;
I know, thats why I said "and other spammers".


Posted by: EasyTarget

Unfortunately there are people who are paid to spam.
I have seen several job postings where if you are willing to post messages on forums and inbed links, then you will get a commission. Think affiliate marketing scenario, gone horribly wrong.

For most of us the pay rate is terrible, but if you live in India, have a computer and nothing but time on your hands...It makes sense.


Posted by: Manchester

Does Khashyar want to sell this forum? He has clearly lost interest in it. I will take it and all content and existing MODS and move it over to UK Ladagirl servers and manage it properly with no noticeable change to the posting membership. MODS/format/content will remain the same.

The site will load properly and there will be no Abu Dhabi spam.

MODS - If you are in touch with Khashyar, convey this message please.

This forum is too valuable to go to waste as the RWG/F has done. This forum needs Mr New Broom.

Please ask the owner to get in touch with me as he is not active here any more and does not reply to PM's or E-mails. This forum can be saved before it is closed.


Posted by: Longfellow

Wow, Manny.

That is quite an offer and a real step up to the wickets.
I commend you that you put your 'money where your mouth is" - hopefully you're not talking out your arse...


Posted by: Lena

No, we defiantly are not going to sell this website, forum. We spent a lot of days, time to create this place. We did this forum for people who do appreciate and value information that we have here. We appreciate people-moderates, members who help us to keep this forum.
Khashyar didn’t lose interest in this forum……It’s so true that Khashyar simply doesn’t have enough time even to sleep; I do not speak about writing messages in the forum and etc. Right now he is so busy and he involves in his film, he travels a lot and his schedule is crazy—a lot of screenings, a lot of interviews, a lot of emotional moments.
He really likes this website and it will be time when he will come back and will keep this place more organized. Again we really value all members and people, who believe in this forum, who met very good friends here and who found a help here, valuable information and support.
Each of us is so different-cultures, background, age, experience in life, so we can not expect this place to be perfect. So I think each of us understand this and find own benefits. A lot of people settle down in life-- in relationship, so a lot of members simply do not have time to post messages, even if they want to do this. I have so full, interesting life here in America, I have a lot of things to share with people, a lot of news, stories, but I’m so busy and have hard time to write normal message to my parents. It’s easier to call them and tell everything what is going on. I want to tell that I met so many great people here. Some of them became my and my husband’s best friends and always welcome to our house. They mean a lot to us.
This year we will celebrate 5years anniversary with Khashyar. Its 5 years how we created this website. It’s normal that it’s grows every day and some members leave; some members come, some people are happy, some of them unhappy. But we can not make everybody happy because it’s very hard to control every discussion, every situation and to be completely involved in everything what is going on here. We appreciate who understand this. Khashyar and I are not able to give all our time to this project. We try to do the best.

Longfellow thank you VERY MUCH for the chocolate that you brought with you.


Posted by: Longfellow

Dear lady Lena-
It was great pleasure to meet you and Khashyar, you made me feel so welcome and I hope I have 2 new friends now. A box of chocolates is such little thing when compared to all you have provided to everyone of we members with this forum and the expressions of your good hearts.
I think it is unfair that anyone passes judgement on Khashyar because he follows the path of his creative genius and is having success with his documentary.
Ridiculous that anyone tries to point a finger at him, for everything he has done to make this site such a inspirational and useful resource. What would they have, a man to starve and deprive his family and future for a forum that they bombast in and blame everything on everyone else?
Ya nye painimayu!
I suggest everyone here, who really cares about this forum, make a simple effort. Click the donations button on main page, and put some money where your mouth is. You think this site is free? Who do you think is paying for server space and bandwidth?
Step up, people!
This is not Jerry's Kids, this is your forums! I myself had put off contributing, but no more! I will support that which is important to me - family, friends or forums.


Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Everyone, Interesting discussion here... I've read all of the posts... Firstly, I want to thank everyone, especially the Moderators who are not paid, and have volunteered to help manage the forum (and issues like SPAM) from the goodness of their heart and not for the invisible paycheck that I send them Since we don't charge for anything on this forum or website, no one makes any money or profit for the RMP... It is a nonprofit website, with content created and maintained by its members. Yes, my documentary film is very demanding of my time, and has required all of my energy, so I have not been able to post in the forum lately. I am sure that I am working 80 hours a week And I simply would not able to get my work on my film finished If I were reading and posting messages every day... I see Lena in the Russian language forum every day, and obviously she reads the English language messages because she saw this thread. Since May, I have been traveled around the world and country with the film, and am am currently in negotiations with distributors who are interested in distributing the film internationally. Being responsible for a film takes more energy and time and hours than working at a 40 hour per week job I agree with Jill that a forum, or any online community, is created and maintained by its members. It is every member's responsibility to create the kind of forum and atmosphere that they want to see. If there is a person who wants to see new threads about certain topics that interests them, then they should take on the responsibility to create those kinds of threads. Each member should take the responsibility to create the kind of atmosphere and information that they would like to create. We do already have an image verification aspect to registering, so I have to research how we can best deal with the SPAM issue... Perhaps we should manually approve new members? Ban users who register as Adu Dabi? I am going to look into the SPAM issue now... Khashyar


Posted by: French_Misha

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khashyar
Hi Everyone,

Interesting discussion here... I've read all of the posts...

Since we don't charge for anything on this forum or website, no one makes any money or profit for the RMP... It is a nonprofit website, with content created and maintained by its members.

Khashyar


I like the fact that it is nonprofit. Other sites seem interested in promoting agencies and hype. This site is refreshingly different.


Posted by: GentleGiant

It is good to see you in the forum Khashyar, I dont write to you, but I always read your comments when I see them.

Is it possible for the sign-up to check the IP range against the claimed country they are joining from ??
Just so that someone who is genuinely from Abu Dhabi can still join?? and sending a few thousand hi res jpegs to the address of any real person who spams; anyone know a site that features hi res pictures of arse's ???


Posted by: deccie

Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleGiant2
It is good to see you in the forum Khashyar, I dont write to you, but I always read your comments when I see them.

Is it possible for the sign-up to check the IP range against the claimed country they are joining from ??
Just so that someone who is genuinely from Abu Dhabi can still join?? and sending a few thousand hi res jpegs to the address of any real person who spams; anyone know a site that features hi res pictures of arse's ???


Yeah, be carefull! I might be working there when this contract finishes!
(seriously!)


Posted by: freebird

I agree with you Jericho, I would like to see a little less zeal in closing threads. Everyone on the site should know that not everyone will agree with them, and if there is some thread they don't like or are uncomfortable reading then DO NOT STAY ON THAT THREAD! If something is totally offensive I can see closing it, or if someone has repeadedly "flamed" etc, give them a warning. I think we are all big boys here (or girls!) so we should not cry to a moderator if there is a post that upsets us. Just my thoughts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerico
Well I have to agree with pretty much what everyone is saying here. It has gone a little south here.

I think the number one reason is political correctness. In my opinion it has destoryed this forum.

It is ridiculous on this forum. Cant say this , dont do that , may offend him.Crazy. Sounds like my work place which I try to leave at work when I am off.
Dont know if its the mods fault or not on problems here but the PC police have gotten terrible IMO.

I miss the debates with Deccie and IRA ,LOL.
I found it interesting how you Aussies felt about issues in the world but now nothing because we cant get into debates here, Oh no.
Cant have heated discussions , better close the thread.
Sometimes I see a thread was closed that i was following and just laugh that some moderator closed it but hey , thats the way it has gotten here.
Ya they were not always Russian related but most of us are in relationships with Russian girls so its ok again IMO.


Its hard to believe but I have been married almost 3 years to my Russian wife and really have no reason to post here . Still I check this place out because we are all similar types of people as far as relationships. I like to hear the storys ,good and bad.

My wife also dosn`t like me talking about her or showing pictures so i dont post much.
Really a lot of things have changed in this process so I cant give great advice but sometimes i like to think I help some people out in their Russian journey so to speak.
I have a few people i know who are going through this process of looking for a foriegn girl . They never would of done this if it was not for my storys of the women and the cities and sites ,LOL.

I think its great that simply from what i have told them it was enough to convince them to write to Russian women and go meet them.
They come back changed men. I think its cool. Perhaps they come back with different experiences from Russia but mainly they were thankful i opened their eyes to not just settle for whats around you.
Jerry



Posted by: Cheburashka

It is great to see you posting here Khashyar. We are all extremely proud of the work you have been doing lately. It is good to know people who are willing to make a difference in the lives of so many. May your film have favor with the world, and may peace reign over you and your amazing bride.

Cheb

PS: Thai food with Harrison Ford, possible if we drop your name?


Posted by: Khashyar

Thanks Cheb. I enjoy the people who I've met at the RMP. As I mentioned, Lena checks in the English forum every day. Lena checks at home, as well as when she is in her fashion studio in downtown Los Angeles. I'm hoping that we may be able to have a mini Ireland and UK meeting in Cork in the third week of October. (I should be there for the screening of our film at the Cork Film Festival.) Also, I believe that I will be in Italy at the end of October, so I could meet anyone else who will be there at that time. Khashyar


Posted by: Khashyar

Quote:
Originally Posted by freebird
I agree with you Jericho, I would like to see a little less zeal in closing threads. Everyone on the site should know that not everyone will agree with them, and if there is some thread they don't like or are uncomfortable reading then DO NOT STAY ON THAT THREAD! If something is totally offensive I can see closing it, or if someone has repeadedly "flamed" etc, give them a warning. I think we are all big boys here (or girls!) so we should not cry to a moderator if there is a post that upsets us. Just my thoughts.
Hi FreeBird and Jerico, I agree with having free and open discussions, and stating whatever our opinion is. I think that the forum guidelines are clear about what is acceptable and not acceptable posting (i.e., flaming, personal attacks, etc... is not permitted). My understanding is that a thread is closed when it gets out of hand... Khashyar


Posted by: AkMike

But in this case it wasn't out of hand or anything. The 'Ref' made a very bad call.

Khashyar feel free to PM me about this black mark on RMP.


Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Mike, the Moderators do a good job of maintaining the forum (since they are volunteering their time).

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and perhaps a mistake was made and a thread was closed too aggressively...

How about we create a thread, and collectively decide guidelines of when a thread should be closed?

I will open a new thread about this, and then we will post these "thread-closing guidelines" in the guidelines section.

Again, everyone makes mistakes (and know that I do), so let's create the guidelines and rules for when a thread is to be closed...

Khashyar


Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Everyone,

I created a new thread where we can speak about and decide when a thread should be closed:

http://russianmeetingplace.com/foru...ead.php?t=16808

Khashyar


Posted by: AkMike

Hi Khashyar. I realize that you've been absent for almost 2 months being busy with your film. ( Good Going BTW!)
It's not the fact that closing the thread was the problem. It's that it was edited with out cause and it seemed to me that the "Ref" sided with a newbie that seemed to be here to stir up trouble with out adding to the forum in any constructive way. All this was done at the expense of a former moderator on a joke section thread.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

I don't think the ref made a bad call. The thread was about religion and how the religion was different, what is offensive. It wasn't closed because of a newbie it was closed because it was offensive to a religion.


Posted by: AkMike

IIRC there was no mention of the name of any religion.. The pic showed some men kneeling at a store front.. One that sold womens undies.. I looked and didn't see any signs of it being photochopped or a set up pic... If these men were of any particular religion,, I'd say they prayed at the wrong spot when the pic was taken.
It was funny!
Cheb is a very good member of this forum that has added a wealth of info and shared deep sadness with us over the years.. This newbie added nothing.

Later when a similar pic was posted showing a pic taken in Vegas it was OK...
But my Band of Brothers of Baccus had no complaints..


Posted by: Jerico

I have to agree with AKmike.
Bottom line was it was a spoof on Muslims and no one wants to offend these guys. Its ridiculous IMO.
One guy says it offends him , so what, dont look at it.
Also it was in the joke section made to be funny which it was.


That picture was funny no matter what religion it referred to.
Its political correctness is why it dissapeared and that sucks.
I am not blaming anyone but not being able to joke about things or have debate about anything which might offend people just makes this place boring.


Jerry


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Jerico, I've always enjoyed your posts and consider you a valued member. I am glad you think the cartoon was geared toward a religion. I agree being PC is boring and the cartoon is funny to most people, but not Muslims. So where do we draw the line Do we only delete posts that upset Muslims or do we include Catholics and Baptists to?

Yes the "don't look at it" is a good response but unfortunetly some people can't do this because it is very upseting to them.


Posted by: Jerico

YA GTR I dont what can be done as far as " The Line"

Its a tough call i guess.
Like I said , I am not blaming any mods or anything.

Problem is that this is where are society is heading.
IE: Make everybody feel good , dont say anything controversial or the truth - such as illegals destroying are country, everyone wins when playing sports so as not to make a child feel bad about losing the game.
Enough of this correctness feel good crap , lol.
I am not just saying that for this forum either.

This stuff is destroying this country and turning the next generation into a bunch of feel good whimps.
Again this is just my opinion ,nothing else ,no facts ,etc.
Jerry


Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Guys,

I would rather move on to more constructive and positive things, but on the issue of making fun or religionds or cultures...

Would it be funny if we made fun of blacks with a photo making fun of them in some way?

I'm not sure where to draw the line.... making fun of religions is o.k., but making fun of race is not o.k.?

I think that this is a judgement call, and sometimes the judgement will not be perfect.

I personally think that we don't need to make fun of a race or religion to have the RMP be valuable and fun for people, especially amking fun of something that has nothing to do with Russia or Russian culture.

There are so many important and interesting things to talk about.

Khashyar


Posted by: firemansam

Aww C'mon, it was in the joke/humour section!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't like it? Sod off!

It was a joke!

Get a grip please.......

I for one am glad you know who is no longer a member here because the majority should never bow to the minority in such matters.

That this is still being discussed, even now, shows how much people are scared of "offending" other people.

That it became such a big deal in the first place is CRAZY!

Take a concrete pill and harden up if you can't laugh at yourself!



Sam.


Posted by: Khashyar

HI Jer...

I'm not saying being politically correct...

On a Russian-oriented forum, I don't see the purpose or need to make fun of a culture or race.

I didn't see the muslim joke photo, so I don't know what it was like...

I think it's better to post some jokes about Putin, babulas, Lukashenko, or something that relates to Russia.

There might even be a place in the off-topic to discuss the muslim or christian religion (without flaming), but again, why is it important to spend so much energy and angst worrying about those topics that don't have anything to do with Russia?

I don't have THE answer for this, though. But I DO know that we must do what best serves the interest and health and helpfulness of the Russian Meeting Place.

Khashyar


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerico
YA GTR I dont what can be done as far as " The Line"

Its a tough call i guess.
Like I said , I am not blaming any mods or anything.

Problem is that this is where are society is heading.
IE: Make everybody feel good , dont say anything controversial or the truth - such as illegals destroying are country, everyone wins when playing sports so as not to make a child feel bad about losing the game.
Enough of this correctness feel good crap , lol.
I am not just saying that for this forum either.

This stuff is destroying this country and turning the next generation into a bunch of feel good whimps.
Again this is just my opinion ,nothing else ,no facts ,etc.
Jerry



Posted by: Khashyar

I don't think that it is a big deal either, but....

Obviously for some people it is, so I'm adding my 2 cents at this point.

And, I also agree that if something offends ONE or TWO people, that this is not a reason to delete or remove something.

There is someone who will always become offended by something, adn we have to use our judgment as to what is too far.

But, fireman, every place has to have some rules, or else it will be the Wild West with bullets flying everywhere.

There has to be a happy reasonable middle ground.

Khashyar



Quote:
Originally Posted by firemansam
Aww C'mon, it was in the joke/humour section!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't like it? Sod off!

It was a joke!

Get a grip please.......

I for one am glad you know who is no longer a member here because the majority should never bow to the minority in such matters.

That this is still being discussed, even now, shows how much people are scared of "offending" other people.

That it became such a big deal in the first place is CRAZY!

Take a concrete pill and harden up if you can't laugh at yourself!



Sam.



Posted by: Jerico

Hey Khash,
Glad to hear from ya by the way,

I understand many of these pictures ,jokes, or topics dont neccessarily have anything to do with Russian culture ,etc.

Most people posting these jokes however have been to Russia or have married a Russian girl or something of that nature.
To me its just chatting with people who have been through the process or are going thru it with Russian women. Not many people have done this so to speak. It is a small group people and this is a good place to chat with these guys or gals , even if the topic or picture does not have anything to do with russia. Anyway thats my way of thinking of it , right or wrong.

I understand posting funny pictures about russia has a little more to do with this site.
However I also remember that a member here was posting pictures of women he visited and there was an uproar about those pictures being posted. I believe some people here thought it was bad to show the clean , nice pictures of Russian women in normal situations dating foriegn guys.
That would be a terrible picture indeed.
It would be more terrible to post these pictures of Russian girls on a website about dating Russian women!!

Maybe if i posted a picture of a stalin statue someone could be offended be this picture. Would the picture be removed?

My point is that any picture can be taken as offensive IMO depending how one looks at it.

SIde note: I am taking Russian lessons at an adult school nearby and just last week the teacher took down a hammer and sicle Russian flag because one student was offended by the old communist flag. Where do we draw the line as a society to just say , get over it.
Jerry


Posted by: Khashyar

I hear what you're saying, Jerry.

We can't please everyone, and there will always be someone who is offended or does not like what a person does.

I guess it is a judgement call.

Human Beings (i.e., the Moderators) have to make the best decision about something in the best way that they can.

Sometimes they will make a mistake, but I think overall, Mods do a good job.

For every mistake or quick trigger finger someone has, they have made dozens of good decisions for the forum.

Whoever continues to come back to the RMP and participates, does so because they are benefitting from the forum in some way. They are receiving something, enjoying an aspect of it, meeting and communicating with their friends that they have created here, and they feel a sense of satisfaction and purpose in helping others.

So, while there might be a small number of incidents when someone may not have made the best decision, most of the decisions made have been helpful ones for the forum, and....

Most importantly, all of the Mods, and most people participating in the RMP are doing so with intentions of serving the interest of the RMP community and the members here.

No one is getting paid. I am making a negative amount of money sponsoring this place....

The mods are not being paid, and they are volunteering their time.

So, as I mentioned before, EVERYONE has the responsiblity of taking positive ledership in the RMP forums, post new threads about things your interested in, being a moderator when you feel that you can cool a fire or flame that might be starting...

We don't want to throw trash around in the grass of the RMP....

And I appreciate the contributions of the Mods and everyone who haev the intention of makingthe RMP the most rewarding place possible where people hang out, talk to friends, chill, and give and receive helpful things of value.

Khashyar


Posted by: AkMike

This is a very close picture of the "offending" one in my spoof thread. No big deal..

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...ead.php?t=16453


Posted by: Khashyar

Thanks, Mike.

I personally would not have thought it was that much of a big deal, but again, people are making judgement calls based on what they think is best, and people make different judgment calls.

I would not have personally posted the photo, but I don't see that photo as going over the line in a joke forum...

I know that some muslims are very sensitive about the way that their religion is portrayed, but as a Westerner, I don't see that photo as being over the line in a U.S.-based forum.

Khashyar


Posted by: joelunchbox

I think I wrote in the original thread something like this....all someone had to say was..those people couldn't be moslem because-and then tell us. Honestly, I think it was a staged picture. A funny staged picture that says more about men in general than in religion in particular.
Maybe we could institute a green/yellow/red light system. green-no one minds yellow-hey, someone is getting warm red-you are over the line. could the moderators add something like that to the thread?


Posted by: Cheburashka

WOW! There is still so much wasted time and energy on one little post of mine. All someone had to do was send me an email, PM, or phone call and I would have immediately removed the pic.

"What a great matter a little fire kindles"-James


Posted by: Khashyar

Yes.... I think speaking on the phone and communicating solves a lot of misunderstandings....

We all are doing the best we can, and can learn from incidents like these how to have a better outcome next time.

Khashyar


Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khashyar
Yes.... I think speaking on the phone and communicating solves a lot of misunderstandings....

We all are doing the best we can, and can learn from incidents like these how to have a better outcome next time.

Khashyar
This is the basic truth... the mods and admins are doing the very best they can to for the forum.
Complaints are like gas, we all have some and most often it is hot air!
Are any here making solid complaint about the effort given by mod/admins?
Is there really a complaint of lack of due dilligence?
Each of us has responsibility to step up, moderate behavior of otheres (say you don't like it) decide it's value and how far you want it to escalate.
If you want Mommy and Daddy to always make everything fine and dandy for you... maybe don't venture out into real world of human discourse... it may not always be as palatable as you want.
On the other hand, if you enjoy the flavors of diversity and human experiences, this is a good place for it. But be careful to complain to soon about impingement.. lest your opinion get cut because a weak character claim the same.
Ty ponimaesh?


Posted by: heyjimi

Hi,
I haven't been on here in a while.but I figured,i would throw my two cents in.I been a member on here,i guess almost a year now.And all i know is ,this forum and the people on here have helped me out tremendously,from my first girl who actually turned me on to Russian women,but she was a scammer,and this forum helped me to see the facts,that she was after money.To my first trip to FSU,to Uzbekistan,where I was scarred to death to go,especailly it being Muslim.But many folks on here,replied to my posts,assureing me,that it was safe,and to have a good time.And sure enough I had a great time,and the people there were very friendly.To my second trip to Vologda,Russia,Where i was now very comfortable traveling in Russia.And all the questions I had asked,were all answered with kindness.I know there is a lot of negative crap on here,but most of us,can wade through that,the forum after all has to have the good and the bad,I was lucky I never experienced anything negative while visiting FSU,but i know some have.The 2 women I met,I didn't marry either one,but they were lovely ladies. I always felt,I needed to hear the good stories and the bad stories too,and hell even the "every Russian girl is a scammer"crap,I think we are all able to make and form our own opinions.The good and the bad is needed,to make a good decision whether to see the girl i was thinking of seeing or not.maybe there is too much negative stuff,maybe some fixing is in order.But i am one who found this forum very helpful,and even though I don't visit it much now,because I ended up meeting a nice Chinese girl online,and went to China,and found she was the girl I was looking for.And now we are married.I still like to visit here,because i have beautiful memories of Russia,and the 2 women I went to see,who were just the best,and I think alot had to do with this forum,giving me the ability to have made some decent decissions. Nothing is perfect.but thats not to say things can't be fixed if they need fixing.anyway thats my two cents.
jim


Posted by: GentleGiant

With regards to removing posts and/or threads.

Could they not be moved to a holding area for the mods to view and decide as a group?? I think several people have concerns that some mods treat contentious postings differently; which they will do, everyone is different. if the final say on a posting or thread is taken by the mods as a group ( or a quorum of mods, how many are there???), no-one can blame a single mod for being over PC.

If the majority think it is OK, it can be returned with a tag saying it has been audited.
PS.
Anyone got any advice on dating a Muslim girl from one of the 'stans?? Already made her blush once, she asked me what I found attractive in a woman so I told her, but when I asked HER what she was attracted to in a man.......... She wont even text me the answer.


Posted by: freebird

Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleGiant2
With regards to removing posts and/or threads.

Could they not be moved to a holding area for the mods to view and decide as a group?? I think several people have concerns that some mods treat contentious postings differently; which they will do, everyone is different. if the final say on a posting or thread is taken by the mods as a group ( or a quorum of mods, how many are there???), no-one can blame a single mod for being over PC.

If the majority think it is OK, it can be returned with a tag saying it has been audited.
PS.
Anyone got any advice on dating a Muslim girl from one of the 'stans?? Already made her blush once, she asked me what I found attractive in a woman so I told her, but when I asked HER what she was attracted to in a man.......... She wont even text me the answer.

Good idea about closing threads. About the Muslim girl - Which one of you will be converting?


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Heyjimi - Congrates on the wedding! I hope for this myself in December of this year.


Posted by: heyjimi

thanks GTR, and I wish you the best !
jim


Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheburashka
WOW! There is still so much wasted time and energy on one little post of mine. All someone had to do was send me an email, PM, or phone call and I would have immediately removed the pic.

"What a great matter a little fire kindles"-James
I dont think that this is the real point of the issue. What is the real point is, if you think something you do may cause offence then should you do it? It isn't about being PC at all it is about being respectful and not creating a false image of another person or group. I do believe a commandment could be taken as regarding this, i.e. do not make false testimony. What has happened in this case at the very least is a group (and a person) has been brought to ridicule through the use of a picture which is a very useful media device. Furthermore what has also happened is an image has be perpetuated of "others", i.e. muslims etc. being thin skined, whingers, etc. etc. that is not reality for all people in the group.

It isn't about religion, political correctness or even about cultural differences. What it is about is plain old respect. A picture was put up and someone felt it was disrespectful, many people had a go at him for making his feelings known (it is this that makes the PM idea quoted above just wrong, I mean what more does someone need to voluntarily remove something that is felt to be offensive?). The picture was finally removed after debate, banter and putdowns without the originator being consulted. The originator felt as though he was hard done by and resigns a post of moderatorship because of it and now he says
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheburashka
All someone had to do was send me an email, PM, or phone call and I would have immediately removed the pic.

If it was such an insignificant thing to the originator as this quote suggests:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheburashka
There is still so much wasted time and energy on one little post of mine.
then why is everyone so upset or did the post and subsequent occurences drag out peoples real feelings?

Joke or not, it was offensive and to more than one person. I don't think 4x4 was the one who should have learned to "take it on the chin", "get a thicker skin" etc. etc. He has taken peoples advice and used his right to "not look" as he seems to have left the RMP. How many more are people willing to offend before they think about what it feels like on the rough end. How many more are going to be excluded by virtue of "otherness" and "minorityness" before the RMP becomes the clique it is rapidly hurtling towards being. I joined this community because of it's inclusive nature but all I see is a group of people who are determined to exclude "others" who don't fit into their image of what it means to be worthy of respect.


Posted by: bingism

Quote:
Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking
I dont think that this is the real point of the issue. What is the real point is, if you think something you do may cause offence then should you do it? It isn't about being PC at all it is about being respectful and not creating a false image of another person or group. I do believe a commandment could be taken as regarding this, i.e. do not make false testimony. What has happened in this case at the very least is a group (and a person) has been brought to ridicule through the use of a picture which is a very useful media device. Furthermore what has also happened is an image has be perpetuated of "others", i.e. muslims etc. being thin skined, whingers, etc. etc. that is not reality for all people in the group.

It isn't about religion, political correctness or even about cultural differences. What it is about is plain old respect. A picture was put up and someone felt it was disrespectful, many people had a go at him for making his feelings known (it is this that makes the PM idea quoted above just wrong, I mean what more does someone need to voluntarily remove something that is felt to be offensive?). The picture was finally removed after debate, banter and putdowns without the originator being consulted. The originator felt as though he was hard done by and resigns a post of moderatorship because of it and now he says

If it was such an insignificant thing to the originator as this quote suggests:
then why is everyone so upset or did the post and subsequent occurences drag out peoples real feelings?

Joke or not, it was offensive and to more than one person. I don't think 4x4 was the one who should have learned to "take it on the chin", "get a thicker skin" etc. etc. He has taken peoples advice and used his right to "not look" as he seems to have left the RMP. How many more are people willing to offend before they think about what it feels like on the rough end. How many more are going to be excluded by virtue of "otherness" and "minorityness" before the RMP becomes the clique it is rapidly hurtling towards being. I joined this community because of it's inclusive nature but all I see is a group of people who are determined to exclude "others" who don't fit into their image of what it means to be worthy of respect.

I'm sorry OGL, but all I can say (after a massive dose of diazepam for a bad back) is blah-blah-blah-blah-blaaaaah...... come on mate, it was nothing! Maybe it's a Brit thing, but self-depreciation is the basis of humour... if we don't laugh at ourselves (I mean "we", the big "we") then it's a pretty hard life


Posted by: Cheburashka

OGL, are YOU really saying that we should only post things that have no chance of making anyone else in the world uncomfortable? That post came from YOU?


Posted by: waiting123

I think we all agree that this is a great forum, we all need to participate on keeping it going. I have apologized in the past to the people involved in the photo, but as has been stated and said before, it is a subjective opinion, I felt that the picture along with the tag line was a little degrading.... So lets move on from this issue, we seem to be beating a dead horse.

Secondly, I know the mods are all working very hard to keep the board clean of spam, I have been reviewing all new members and check the IP for multipkle names that might have been banned in the past, and if this is the case I have been banning IP address..The problem with this is some people use a dynamic IP.

Just some insight, I have been banning about 5-7 members a day from the board, some have posted spam and some have just registered but has posted spam in the past.

There has been many comments about the moderators and admin not being on and monitoring the forum, I know for a fact that the mods and myself are very active in cleaning up the spam and monitoring the boards. I myself do not post as much as I used to, I post usually to answer questions or help people, but believe me I am on the forum many hours a day.

I truly appreciate and thank all the moderators for dedicating and volunterring so much time to the forum, I also truly appreciate all you members of the forum... your insight, experiences, and other posts add a true amount of value to this forum.


Posted by: French_Misha

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting123

Just some insight, I have been banning about 5-7 members a day from the board, some have posted spam and some have just registered but has posted spam in the past.


The moderators have also been banning people simply because they did not like what they were saying. I cite as an example Ham. Why was he banned? Yes, some of the people thought that he was "obnoxious" but he had some legitimate points to make. This forum has gotten a lot duller without him.

Yes, you do not like what everybody has to say and yes you may not understand the point that the person is trying to say, but that does not mean you should block them out! Agamemnon should have listened to Cassandra and perhaps a few people might be helped by listening to the cynicism and "madness" of people such as Ham from time to time.


Posted by: waiting123

Quote:
Originally Posted by French_Misha
The moderators have also been banning people simply because they did not like what they were saying. I cite as an example Ham. Why was he banned?


On the point of ham, that was a unanimous decision based on a lot of issues and a lot of thoughts and concerns. Ham is not banned from the RMP, he is simply suspeded for 3 weeks, he is perfectly able to return then. We hope he does. We have ban no one fore no reason, and we do not retire or ban people without the consensus of the moderator team.


Posted by: freebird

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting123
I think we all agree that this is a great forum, we all need to participate on keeping it going. I have apologized in the past to the people involved in the photo, but as has been stated and said before, it is a subjective opinion, I felt that the picture along with the tag line was a little degrading.... So lets move on from this issue, we seem to be beating a dead horse.

Secondly, I know the mods are all working very hard to keep the board clean of spam, I have been reviewing all new members and check the IP for multipkle names that might have been banned in the past, and if this is the case I have been banning IP address..The problem with this is some people use a dynamic IP.

Just some insight, I have been banning about 5-7 members a day from the board, some have posted spam and some have just registered but has posted spam in the past.

There has been many comments about the moderators and admin not being on and monitoring the forum, I know for a fact that the mods and myself are very active in cleaning up the spam and monitoring the boards. I myself do not post as much as I used to, I post usually to answer questions or help people, but believe me I am on the forum many hours a day.

I truly appreciate and thank all the moderators for dedicating and volunterring so much time to the forum, I also truly appreciate all you members of the forum... your insight, experiences, and other posts add a true amount of value to this forum.


Waiting, I think I have to disagree with those members who are critical with you and the Mods, I think you have been doing a great job (& sometimes thankless!).

About the picture, I think that was a borderline type call, betwe