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Wasted Trip
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Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

I traveled to Krasnodar last Nov. to visit a girl I had been talking with over the internet. Well everything went fine when we finally got together, we got along fine, had much to talk about and just got to know each other.

I thought was all and fine because when I left, we both agreed that we shouldn't rush into anything too quick, give it some time and I would come back this year for another visit to decide what we wanted to do ie....Her moving to the U.S.

Well yesterday morning, after an abnormally long absence from her through e-mail, I got a letter basically telling me she was no longer interested in leaving Krasnodar. Well......It looks like that is the end of it. I spent all that time and hard earned money to visit her under the assumption she was serious only to find out I was probably just a passing interest to her.

This just sux. I honestly believe now that Russian women are really no different than American women, as much as we want to believe they are, they simply are not.

The ONLY good thing that came out of this deal is that at least I found out before she moved over here that she didn't want to be here. It could have been alot worse. Good Luck Guys!!! This journey has been a real eye opener for me, but it comes to an end today.

Posted by: Jutman

Hi

Sorry to hear that. But from what you write, it seems good that you agree to take it easy. WRONG !!!
For her it seems you are not serious too. Which lead to the ending.
Remember she have to leave friends, family and country she needs an man who is enthuastic and don't hestite. Because if you hesitate now, maybe you wil hestitate to help her when she come to you. She don't want that !!

So to rescue it, invite her over now !! show her that you that she is important, show her that you are serious. Don't waste anymore of yours and hers time. I assume you got the 'flame' during the visit, which you indicate you did.

I believe you mean it well, but did a small cultural mistake. This is what russian men do. Like : Yes, you are nice, a good girl. But we don't need to get married now, maybe in future -and guess what the russian man does in the mean time !!

But if you 'fight' for her, it will mean that you loves her. They like that. So start the 'fight' and win her heart, by showing her that you are serious.

Good Luck !!

Posted by: ConnerVT

I wasn't with the two of you in Krasnodar, so I can only offer speculation.

A woman has just as much the right to choose if she wants a relationship or not. Perhaps she just decided you weren't what she wanted, for whatever reason.

Jutman may be right, and that she may be testing you, or unconvinced of your strength of commitment to what will be (by design) a difficult relationship.

But your post that you have met her once, and "got along fine" doesn't leave me with the idea that fireworks were going off, either. I have spent time with many women in my life that I got along fine with that I wouldn't marry, no less leave my country, family, language and culture.

Perhaps you misread her feeling about you when you were there. It is easy to do, pumped up from the adventure of traveling to meet a woman. Differences in culture and a unique situation for both of you could also be factors.

It wasn't a wasted trip. You traveled to a place you never have been, met new people and experienced new things. You enjoyed yourself when you were there (I would guess). The main purpose of the trip was to see if there was the makings of a long term commitment. You seem to have got an answer. I'm sorry it wasn't the one you wanted to hear.

Posted by: searcher

Like Conner said we weren't there....

BUT from what i've heard from others
WR like persistent men!!!!

simply put
I agreee with Jutman

Be persistent, tell her you are serious!!!!

....and show it!!!!

Don't give up yet!

Posted by: LeoN

Hi All,
Once the glass is broken, it will never stick again.
Redriveroutlaw, i m really sorry about the ending of your adventure, the money and energy you spent, but this is life.Maybe it is better this way.What would have happened if you got married, move with her in the US and get a divorse there?This would bring you much more pain.
Also, you should be thankfull that this woman was sincere enough to let you know about her real intentions.She was very realistic.
I dont believe that you should make an other effort on her.Maybe it is better to go to the next RW.I dissagree with you about the comparison of RW and AW.Dont make conclusions from one case.
Good luck to your next step.

Posted by: spamer

I feel little devil horns growing on my head and I don't mean to be mean but your post seems you really didn't give a "woot" about her. I really hope you are saying these things out of anger and heart break.
(because you sound like you were there for a piece of tail only)

Quote:

Originally posted by Redriveroutlaw

I thought was all and fine because when I left, we both agreed that we shouldn't rush into anything too quick, give it some time and I would come back this year for another visit to decide what we wanted to do ie....Her moving to the U.S.

No sparks? no make out session? It was fine.
"we both agreed that we shouldn't rush into anything too quick" That's a guys way of saying, "she bored me".

Quote:

Well yesterday morning, after an abnormally long absence from her through e-mail, I got a letter basically telling me she was no longer interested in leaving Krasnodar. Well......It looks like that is the end of it. I spent all that time and hard earned money to visit her under the assumption she was serious only to find out I was probably just a passing interest to her.

That statement was a joking right? I have never met anybody going in to a relationship that didn't know there was a "chance" it will not work. We call it in America a "blind date"
You didn't learn anything else when you were there. You paid no attention to the people or life styles. The history.

Quote:

This just sux. I honestly believe now that Russian women are really no different than American women, as much as we want to believe they are, they simply are not.

You told her to wait a year and then you would see if you like her.
Your very wrong about Russian women. They are nice. Because you know very well if you told a American woman these things she would have cussed you out on the spot.

I'm sorry about your seen, but from you wrote it seems you weren't serious about this after you meet her. I'm sorry you didn't learn anything about the country or the nice people who live there.

Posted by: Pin Boy

RRO,

You are down in the dumps now and I'm sorry to hear that. Think of times before when you lost a relationship - a new one came along, didn't it? Whether it is with an AW or a RW, no matter, it will happen. Always does.

Regarding the persistence issue...can't speak for all RW, but when I met my fiancee and we were out a few nights dancing and having a few drinks, flirting, all that beginning of a relationship good stuff, she made a toast at a club one of those evenings, "May the man be persistent enough to get what the woman really wants."

Don't have an opnion if you should pursue this lady, but perhaps the persistence issue is a truism with most RW.

Chin up!

PB

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

Sorry for the slight delay in posting a response. Well we actually became close during our time together and yes, sparks did fly!!! and we prematurely celebrated our honeymoon night, but that was only after we spent 5 days together. We talked about getting married and were both VERY excited about that fact. I promised her that I would return this year for another visit and we could then finalize some future plans.

As for me not being persistent, that is just not the case. I wrote to her everyday, not necessarily a long, long letter every time, it might be simple 2 paragraph letter letting her know I was still here and thinking about her alot. Sometimes I would write a very long letter telling her about my life etc. This went on for almost a month with NO reply from her and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I get a letter from her telling me she's changed her mind. This is just what absolutely confuses me.

I haven't called her yet because I don't want to call her in a fit of anger or shock, I'd rather talk when I've calmed down. Maybe I can salvage what is left of what I thought was a good relationship. I will call her Friday and see what is going on. I think it's only appropriate that if she has changed her mind, she should tell me in her own voice rather than in some email. Thanks Guys for the input.

Posted by: estguy

Gezz guys,,give the guy a break. He hasn't offered any details for his trip, maybe they were only together a few days,,or hours. Rendi,,gives us some details,,were you guys intimate,, words of affection,, let not rush,,may mean lets not rush to bed too. Sometimes us American men are very polite, removed on first dates,,trying to make a good impression. Myself, I wouldn't even think about going over there,,unless, I was taking all the Visas paper work with me,,thats how sure I want to be befor I leave. Kinda like a condom,,,you may need it : ) But for sure,,"honey. I think,,maybe I like you" aint worth the trip !

Posted by: estguy

oopppsss,,sorry,, if you take a nice girl to bed,,and dont say " I LOVE YOU !" you might as well say,,thanks for the free sex,,and it should also be followed up by,,lets get married soon ! I can't say I blame her for dumping your sorry arse,,lol These girls dont want long distance long term romantic letters,,they want to get married !! She showed you she cared,,and your treated her like an American girl !

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

estguy:

Have you ever took a trip to Russia to meet a girl you have been talking with? If not, then I might suggest you keep your smarta$$ comments to yourself, their not wanted here and quite frankly, they make you look stupid, easy to hide behind a keyboard and say such things. I'm not writing this to set myself up for ridicule, rather an insight into MY particular situation.

I could write a 10,000 word essay of my trip, but in order to keep it short, I wrote an abreviated version. If that makes me out to look like an a$$, then it is unintended. We had every intention of getting married, but we BOTH (NOT just I) decided it would be best to wait until I came back again (<6 months) Because logistically, it is a VERY big thing to move someone to another country.

Posted by: ulughbek

My opinion only, based on the limited evidence here.

RRO, it sounds like you need (and deserve) more of an explanation of why her feelings changed. So I wish you the best when you speak with her again.

But, as you have understood, it is a BIG deal to see such a relationship through. If either one of you do not have the persistence (wherever the motivation comes from) to overcome all of the transcontinental obstacles of time, distance and culture, then it is probably better for your relationship to end sooner than later. Write it off as a learning experience. But there is no need to jump to conclusions about all RWs or AWs from that. Keep an open mind and you may meet someone with whom anything is possible.

Posted by: Skooter

RRO
Sorry to hear what happened, my first trip I wrote one lady, she was my number one choice, I visited her only but it all came to nothing on the visit.
I made another trip same thing, but second time around I met a wonderful woman.

I would have been really worried and done something soon as the ' period of silence ' started, one thing I've learnt is , that sure long distance relationships are very different, very difficult and offer a unique challenge.

When I first started with my gf

Stage 1 . Letters twice a week, for a month.
Stage 2 . Letters every day, for 2 weeks pre visit, & few phone calls.
Stage 3 . went to visit her for 10 days.
Stage 4 . Talk daily for an hour on Yahoo messenger, 2 weeks
Stage 5 . Talk daily for 3 hours on messenger, phone calls couple times a week. the last 4 weeks

I go visit next week and will take her a laptop with webcam so we can see and talk.

Point I'm making is, that because long distance relationships are so different, I think its really important to put thought into how to keep the relationship 'interesting and stimulated'
I don't think its a case of sending gifts and things like that, its putting thought into the little things.
Personally if I get silence for ONE DAY I get in touch with her, she would do the same, but I really think if you were just writing it may not have been enough, I really think even though far away the lady needs to feel you are ' there '

But look you can't win first time round every time, the reason you went in for this at the time were right for you, if you are still the same person, those same reasons are STILL right for you.

Posted by: LeoN

When you feel ready to contact her, please let us know about the reasons of her decision.This could bring some light to the case.I dont like to repeat my self, but i ll post it again:Once the glass is broken, it will never stick again.Move forward.

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

Thanks Guys, I really do appreciate your insight into things. I definitely will post what the outcome of our conversation will be, good or bad.

I like the idea of taking her a laptop with a webcam, I can get a cheap laptop here, make it Euro compatible and give it to her, but I need to see if she's still interested before moving on with that.

Honestly, I have no idea as to why she suddenly became disinterested. It's hard to guess why. My comments about RW being the same as AW was probably written when I was po'd, so it holds no weight now. The intent of that comment was to say that guys will jump through hoops for a nice girl (Includiing traveling to Russia) only to be tossed aside when she's no longer interested, I see it ALL THE TIME here in the States, but that's neither here nor there.

I will keep you posted. Thanks Again.

Posted by: Jutman

Hi Red.. (good one, for a guy writing a Rus

)

I like you talk to her. In the beginning of my relationsship, we used the cultural difference situation to solve many problems. Maybe you can use that to, when you talk to her.

Send flowers of something !! It seems t choose to fight for her. Is'nt that a good old american way. Don't quit.

Posted by: Bordric

As hard as it may be to hear, it sounds like maybe she found someone else?

Is the way of life, when people cut it that quick sometimes their interest are in other people, not that you are bad or did anything wrong etc. Perhaps someone was just more attractive to her likes. It happens, US RUSSIA PAKISTAN NIGERIA, place really does not matter, people are people.

Hate it for you though. Good luck.

Posted by: estguy

Geezzz..lighten up BUD. My first post I was defending you, while people were climbing down your throat. Your first post didn't have much detail, and I thought the post were unduely harsh. After you posted, you took her to bed, I gotta say,,no matter where the girl is from,,YOU raised the stakes,,and YOU should let her know YOU will be there for her. How abouts some phone calls? or are you now going to change how you handled this, and tell us you were calling her? Hiding behind my keyboard,?,what you want to be confrontational, there wasn't anything smart ass,,PAL, I HAVE brought a Russian girl to America,, only to see her pain and anguish with the change in culture and routine,and when she asked to return after 2 weeks,,it ripped out my heart.
Maybe,,,talking,,in 6 months,,about,,future marriage,,is weak support to a woman you slept with. All I'm trying to say is,,you dont sound like you were giving her much of a committment, maybe she sensed this,,and maybe it explains your outrage at me

Posted by: Skooter

Estguy
Maybe the comment ' if you take a nice girl to bed,,and dont say " I LOVE YOU !" you might as well say,,thanks for the free sex,'

For me this wasn't very appropriate in the nature of the discussion.

My lady told me NOT to use the word 'LOVE' as it has a different meaning there, I have slept with her many times, certainly don't feel like I had 'free sex' , but I am respecting her wishes.

She told me saying 'LOVE' is only using words, she judges me by what I do, not what I say, I think this is quite common among FSU women, they feel we cheapen ourselves by saying we ( WM ) love them, they expect us to demonstrate our love.

So really saying we ' love' them, is actually treating them like a AW, whereas for them they've enjoyed sex, but so what? doesn't necessarily mean they've fallen in love.

I don't understand why we need ' to give the guy a break' , I think everybody is trying to be supportive and offer constructive advice based on their own experiences.

Posted by: estguy

Yea,,really I wasn't blasting the guy. But,,we can act,very "loving" and our actions can be interpreted as Love,,,but, I think most woman,,anywhere,,want this hear this profesed to them,,, Interpreting actions,,or non-actions,,this leaves lots of grey area,,there is little assurance in,,"he sure acted liked he loved me" Personally,,my girl,,with held saying she loved me for some time,,for what I figured meant some soul searching. Certainly the context that when how and why we say, these magic words, adds much to the impact. But I will reiterate,,most girls feel very vulnerable after they have had sex with you,,and want some assurances you'll be there for them,,now and in the future. I think we set the tone for the relationship, as we treat sex ,,is it a special bond between us,,or are we just a couple of horny people,,satisfying each other (ya know) Every woman is different,,when in doubt,,give her all the respect necesary.

Posted by: Tex

Hello Redriveroutlaw,

You have at the very least learned something from what has happened. You have visited this wonderful country, taken in some of a new culture and people and you have educated yourself to at least the ways of this one Russian woman.

I will not agree with the fact you should send her flowers or fight to keep her, she has made her feelings well known. I think it is best you move on.

And maybe you have learned something else, do not put all your eggs in one basket. You have spent a lot of time, energy, money on this one woman, and now you start over. Hopefully next time you will meet several ladies and from this group of ladies maybe you will have a couple of fine ladies emerge to the top.

Posted by: spamer

The one thing that keeps running in my head over this is:
what did he do wrong? Redriveroutlaw has made no statement claiming a possible fault on his part. I'm not blasting anybody, but lets face facts. If you don't know what the problem is, you will never fix it.
Maybe he comb his hair to the left in stead of the right, maybe his smell, maybe he didn't care for this girl and wouldn't admit it. Who knows.
There is so much of this story missing it is impossible to answer.
I just don't like it when anybody make a blanket false statement about any group of people.

This is a problem Redriveroutlaw will work out on his own. He's with holding information by his choice and his right to. I hope it gets solved and puts a rest in your mind on the matter, where he can look back at this a laugh about the "good ole days"

Posted by: D in KS

Originally posted by estguy [/i]
[Myself, I wouldn't even think about going over there,,unless, I was taking all the Visas paper work with me,,thats how sure I want to be befor I leave.[/QUOTE] So you would leave on the first trip planning to be engaged to and marry a person you had never laid eyes on? Very interesting and amazing to me. You would met this women, spend a couple of days with her, have sex with her. Then you feeled compelled to tell her you love and want to marry her. There is no way you could have truly gotten to know this person. (No matter how many letters and e-mail you exchange.) You file your paperwork, have a few more "vacation" visits. Lots of "dating" and "just met you new exciting" sex. Then in a few months you bring her to the US. Now for REAL life together. The new exciting sex is a little less exciting, you have the stinky dog, dirty dishes in the sink. You snore way more than she remembers from your "visits". If you have not taken the time to get to know this person, laid down a foundation for a relationship you are in big trouble. It would seem to me if a RW expects you to arrive with visa papers for her and plan to marry her even before you have met her in person, she is only looking for a way into the US. If you are not going to get the paperwork rolling immediatey, she will move onto the next bidder. I would be very suspect of a women who is ready to throw away her entire life for you the first time she meets you. Just my two cents. Debbie

Posted by: searcher

Quote:

Originally posted by D in KS
So you would leave on the first trip planning to be engaged to and marry a person you had never laid eyes on?

Very interesting and amazing to me. You would met this women, spend a couple of days with her, have sex with her. Then you feeled compelled to tell her you love and want to marry her.

There is no way you could have truly gotten to know this person. (No matter how many letters and e-mail you exchange.) You file your paperwork, have a few more "vacation" visits. Lots of "dating" and "just met you new exciting" sex.

Then in a few months you bring her to the US. Now for REAL life together. The new exciting sex is a little less exciting, you have the stinky dog, dirty dishes in the sink.

You snore way more than she remembers from your "visits". If you have not taken the time to get to know this person, laid down a foundation for a relationship you are in big trouble.

It would seem to me if a RW expects you to arrive with visa papers for her and plan to marry her even before you have met her in person, she is only looking for a way into the US.

If you are not going to get the paperwork rolling immediatey, she will move onto the next bidder.

I would be very suspect of a women who is ready to throw away her entire life for you the first time she meets you.

Just my two cents. Debbie

You raise some very good points but....

I think quite often, this is what a lot or most people do.

They do it simply because they know it will take quite some time before the application is a pproved and in the mean time they can 1)get to know the person better, and 2)if they learn this person isn't for them, they can always change their mind and cancel the application.

Consider this, if they need a few more months to get to know each other and don't files the papers, this adds on to the possible many months to a year it will take for approval of the K-1.

During that time, if they had filed the papers and had some idea this was the person for them, they would have time to learn about that person.

Keep in mind, they can still cancel the K-1 in the mean time.

BUT as you have pointed out, they REALLY need to get to know this person!!!!!

They should take advantage of this time to learn if this is truly the person for them!!!!!

Posted by: D in KS

Quote:

[i]Originally posted by estguy [ She showed you she cared,,and your treated her like an American girl !

I am beginning to see why you have been having woman problems. If some of you american men (no one specific)would spend as much time and effort on the women right here, you might have better luck. Not all AW are the big "B" you paint them to be. And for that matter AM are not the "perfect partners" they are being painted to be. Treat an american women with the concern and true commitment that you give to these RW and you just might be surprised. I am sure RW are in no hurry to have an AM say "I Love You" , american men are famous for using that line to get what they want and then moving on. Those three little words don't carry alot of weight when spoken by the american male or perhaps all males in general

Women are not that different no matter what country they are from. We want to be show by actions and commitment on an everyday basis. Not just "I Love You" after sex or on a special occasion. Joining your life with someone is a big decision that you should take time and effort deciding upon. This girl might have had time to think about giving up her life at home and felt she was not ready or did not have the strong feelings to carry through with this relationship. She was honest with you, that is worth a lot. I will get off my soapbox now. Feeling feisty today I guess

Debbie

Posted by: D in KS

Quote:

Originally posted by searcher

Consider this, if they need a few more months to get to know each other and don't files the papers, this adds on to the possible many months to a year it will take for approval of the K-1.

To me that is like saying I love you , want to marry you and I am getting the marriage license. But........... I am going to leave the brides name blank in case I change my mind. That would not make me feel good about a man. Or to find out that he had filed the papers with 8 other women before me? That would make me mad!! What is a few months or even a year if you truly love someone. A couple of the guys on the forum have mention that they felt their love had grown because of the time apart and the ordeal it often was to get the visa paperwork through. A man who was willing to take some time to know me and then the time and effort involved with getting me with him, that would show he loved me much more that just saying, typing or writing the words "I Love You" Again this is my point of view. But I truly believe that good women think the same all over the world. Debbie

Posted by: Skooter

Debbie
Thank you for saying those things, I personally couldn't agree more.

Women are women everywhere, I think obviously financial constraints come into it for some people, but very much our upbringing in the west exposes us to a lifestyle where something 'new' ( like consumer electrical products or cars )becomes available on the market and people are used to being able to go out to get them.

Unfortunately for some people finding a wife in the FSU is being approached in a similar manner, ie 'if I am not happy I can trade it in' we as people are less used to striving and saving in order to get what we want, with the availablility of loans and mortgages many desire instant gratification.

What is the solution to this? Well not practical for most people, but really the best thing for some WM would be to go live in a third world country where they don't speak English to learn and understand the ' dynamics ' of a different society.

This might give more people a better understanding of how tough it should be for some of these ladies to make this decision.
Certainly if they do not know their partner well its very high risk.

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

Hi Guys, some very interesting reading so far, some good points, some bad.

Yeah I probably left alot out simply for the sake of not wanting to bore everyone with the smallest of details. I don't know how to describe what happened. Before I left, I told her I loved her, wanted to marry her and we will left "happily ever after" I will return in about 6 months "papers in hand" to bring you to the states. That is where we left off, I was thinking all is well.

What did I do? I have been running that question over and over and over through my head the last 2 days, I have read and re-read ALL our email without ANY luck. I have seen nothing that could have been mistaken as being wrong. Trying to replay our phone correspondence, I honestly can't remember saying anything bad to her.

If she has found someone else who is her meal ticket to the U.S. then so be it, but I just don't know what happened on her end, there IS a reason for her no longer wanting to come over.

NO, I don't smell or comb my hair wrong, I brush my teeth twice a day and wear deodorant

Like I said, I am calling her in the morning to see what the problem is and will post it soon as I find out.

Posted by: searcher

Quote:

Originally posted by D in KS
To me that is like saying I love you , want to marry you and I am getting the marriage license. But........... I am going to leave the brides name blank in case I change my mind. That would not make me feel good about a man. Or to find out that he had filed the papers with 8 other women before me? That would make me mad!! What is a few months or even a year if you truly love someone. A couple of the guys on the forum have mention that they felt their love had grown because of the time apart and the ordeal it often was to get the visa paperwork through. A man who was willing to take some time to know me and then the time and effort involved with getting me with him, that would show he loved me much more that just saying, typing or writing the words "I Love You" Again this is my point of view. But I truly believe that good women think the same all over the world. Debbie

True,
Something to think about.....

BTW as a side note, I think there are some restrictions as to how many K-1's you can submit within a certain time frame. I think, but don't quote me, it is one per year.

Posted by: estguy

Can we all pitch in some $$ and get Deb some of those Hormone replacement patches,,i is it HOT in here,,or is it me !!!
(just kiding Deb)
Rendi,,good move,,call her,,tell her your serious, that she means the world to you !
Unfortunately,,we all exist in this stupid Immigration law, that makes for strange relations

Personally,,I did not send out a couple of e-mails, and start the K-1 paper work. : ) I sent and recieved e-mail,,then discovered, an imediate respondse in the in-box. My usual afternoon 3:00 after school with son, on home network, he chats with buddies,,I read sports and news,, My girl had internet from 10-2,,3:00 here, was 10:00 there. SO for the first month it was nearly like instant messenger, every day. And we all know about time, on IM's,,how many other people are they talking to ??? The first month of daily IM sessions sometime for hours, we became good friends. KNew about her family, her friends, job, her attitudes towards politics,America, the up coming war. I then asked for her phone number. I still remember the first call,,not the first RW I had talked to,actually several by now..."Adam,,please speak slowly,,I cant translate this fast" : ) So,the next month, we alternated between today I call,,next day internet. We both became very fond of each other, we both knew,,we were only speaking to each other. I didn't ask her to marry me,,I asked her to come visit me in America, stay in a nearby hotel, our conversations were never sexual or romantic,, just affectionate,,I look forward to your call,,it is nice to hear your voice,,, I didn't have a clue about Visa's, and immigration nonesense. SO, we wanted to meet,,I proposed a vacation to Jamaica, and after a few akward hours,,the conversation we enjoyed on the phone, returned, and things became very nice. It wasn't till the third day a few kisses, turned into something very special : )
Now contrast that with AM !! haha,, women stop by my house with a six pack of wine coolers,,and want to hook up ! They aren't gentle and warm,,they want to compete with me, telling me they out earn me,,or out run me,,or can bench press more then me. If you want a taste of the difference,,look at any of the online dating site. NOW,,there are nice AW,,I have 3 sisters,,all in long term marriages (20 years+ ) But they dont post profiles on internet,,go figure.
OK,,AM often say I Love You,,when they really mean,,I want sex. Please keep this between us ! There are still girls in remote Siberia that believe this! Its all the context. If we are walking hand in hand along the beach, I stop look her in the eye, and say, our relationship and my feelings for you are quite dear to me, I want to say,, I love you, then give her a gentle kiss on the forehead, then see what happens.

Posted by: andrei

Oh estguy this last post of yours just buried me in sugar... You Americans are sometimes so romantic it isnt even funny... all that Love talk makes me allergic.. please please stop that now...))))))) Too much of that romance stuff goin' on on the forum))))

Posted by: estguy

SMACK !!!! Pheeeww,, I needed that ! These old movies on late nite TV have warped me ! I need a nite out with the guys! Get the pick-em-up truck stocked for some partying! I need to pull some hair, throw some darts,,meet some real woman that know how to live!
Andrei,,Omsk,,nice town on river Om,,and people speak,,OM,,how are you today? OM,,I'm fine,, a little transendental tho... OMMMMMMMMM : )))

Posted by: Vyesna

It seems to me that a lot of you guys are comparing AW who post on internet dating sites to RW who post on the same and marriage agencies and extending that comparison to all AW and RW. This is really a screwed up comparison, IMHO. These are two entirely different types of populations posting and the incentives and reasons for them doing so are very different and I think the marketing is also very different in each case (esp if you compare AW posting on free for all dating sites to RW marriage agency websites). Please do keep that in mind.

Posted by: Pin Boy

I agree with Andrei (didn't I just write that?), often times the sappiness is WAY over the top on this forum. Wait, I need to get my blood sugar monitor. Yeccchhhh.....

By the way, feel free to pay homage to me as I am now a "Senior Member" of this forum...oh, please, hold your applause...oh, you're too kind....thank you...thank you very much....

Posted by: Pin Boy

Some wonderful people there spent about a week pulling a beer truck out of the ice after it became partly submerged while trying to cross a frozen (maybe not so completely) river. They aided and comforted the beer thoughout the ordeal.

Posted by: estguy

If it takes a week to pull a truck out of the ice,,I think you were drinking more then pulling ; )It is a beautiful town, I envy your visit, I was talking with a gal there,,how did you get there?
Seior member,,good! I'm not the oldest guy here anymore!
Vyesna has a good point,,some of the RW "Marriage" sites,,are just rediculous,,but also some of the RW need to talk to some AM women, born and raised here,,to see why we're looking East, there are diffferences,,
Sappines ! gezzz have a heart, get in touch with your inner child! We all want a close relationship, where we feel trust, acceptance, thoughtfulness,,, "here's looking at you, kid" (ok,,I'll stop)

Posted by: Pin Boy

I wasn't there; I read about it on cnn.com. I'm WAAAYY too busy to be pullin' beer trucks out of a river. But I think Andrei helped.

Posted by: Charles

Hi Pin Boy,
Now that you are a senior member, should we start calling you
"Pin Man"?

Posted by: Arnold

I hope everything turned out alright for you and your girlfriend.

I started reading this thread a couple of days ago, and was hoping to read the conclusion now...

The suspense is killing me! I hope, there only was a miscommunication between the two of you, and by now it is resolved!

Well, I also wanted to let you know that I think it is great that you came to the board with this problem. Obviously, you were pretty upset, when you wrote the post...

In any case, I hope you haven't posted the conclusion to this thread yet, because you are busy talking to your Sweetie on the phone and making plans for your next trip.

Best wishes, Arnold

Posted by: Charles

Redriveroutlaw,
I do not assume you did anything wrong. Russian men and women tend to assume the worst. In my experience, when someone flakes like this, there is usually someone whispering in their ear to manipulate them. I have seen many good relationships end because a third party is sowing seeds of doubt. Perhaps someone who does not want to see your girlfriend leave Russia.

Just continue trying to communicate with her and tell her your sincere feelings and intentions. Perseverence is your only hope. You have to fight for what you want and need. If she wants you as much, she will also fight whatever doubt and problem she has to be with you too.
Do not give up easily. Life does not give us enough opportunities to be happy.
But, look for patterns. She might be a wishy-washy and inconsistent person. That is not a good for a long-term relationship.

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

Howdy Folks,

Well here is the deal. I talked with Angelika yesterday morning after 4 days of trying to get ahold of her. When she answered the phone, I acted like nothing was really the matter, I was calm, asked how she was and how her daughter is etc.....

I let her know that I had received her email and just wanted to see what was the matter. She responded by saying I had done nothing wrong in any way. From talking with her, I get the impression that she finally realized what she was potentially getting herself into, she realized the fact that she probably would be away from her family for a year at a time if she moved to the states. "I would be a stranger in a foreign land I know nothing about" were her words.

Well, I let her know that she would not be alone in any way. I live in a small town of about 25,000 people, so it's not like living in NYC where even the locals get lost

And that my family were VERY close when I had to be at work. I also assured her that when she did in fact move over, I would take a month off from work to be with her and to get her situated.

With all that in mind, I asked that she not give up so easily on a wonderful relationship we have made together. She already knows that I am coming back to Krasnodar in May for 2 weeks, so she calmed down a little and told me she can't wait for me to return again. So for NOW, all is well. I might even make plans to return to Krasnodar a little sooner than expected, just to calm the waters.

I really appreciate the opinions, good and bad, in my post. I think we all have been through the emotional rollercoaster which is called "women" and sometimes we assume the worst without knowing the BIG picture. RW for the most part, are alot different than AW, that is why I am here. Thanks again Guys..

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

look for patterns. She might be a wishy-washy and inconsistent person. That is not a good for a long-term relationship. [/B][/QUOTE]

Howdy Charles,

Thanks for the advice, all of us that look out of our own country are as weary as those that are looking at us. Angelika doesn't appear to be wishy-washy from what I know of her. She seems very level-headed and knows what she wants. She has an infant daughter and I believe she plays no games. I have known many AW who have interests that change hourly. So I am VERY cautious when it comes to women. ESPECIALLY when you get into moving someone out of their home country. You have to ask yourself "Will this person leave me when she becomes a citizen?" That is just one of the risks we take when we undertake such an endevour. I believe in my heart Angelika is sincere. Take Care and thanks for the advice.

Posted by: Arnold

I love happy endings!

Posted by: Skooter

RRO

Well done! hope everything works out well for you both.

Road to happiness isn't always a smooth one.