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Russian adolescents
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Posted by: Knight_Kadosh

Please, I could use a hand with some positive insight, based on personal experience or observation. My fiancée is with her 14-year-old daughter in the Sanatorium in Zheleznovodsk, once again. Whatever is ailing her is not serious, according to the Russian doctor. This is some sort of mild stomach disorder and is not even treated in the U.S. This child has missed over 4 weeks of school since she started back in September. My concern is based on the premise that her daughter does not want to come to the U.S. I tried to eliminate this possibility very early on in my conversations with Lena. Lena was raised by her mother in a single parent environment, as is being done with her daughter, is there something I am missing, regarding children raised in Russia by a single parent? I need to understand the dynamics of this particular cultural difference, if any. Please, those of you that have taken in Russian children as your own must have some practical insight, regarding what I can expect. I am a “live and let live” type of person, yet understandably, I fear the fines, penalties, and the apparent close relationship I’ll be developing with the local truancy officer. Although I have never had any children of my own, I am well aware of the fact that children of blended families can, and have, derailed marriages in a hurry, I believe my concerns are founded. Anyone care to give me the, “heads up”, on this potential minefield. In this particular area, all I can say is, I will do as Lena asks, due to her experience. By sharing in your experience about Russian adolescents, and by hearing positive solutions, I would hope to avoid some of the early pitfalls. I need to win her daughter over, if possible. Thoughtful writing is always appreciated.

Thanks,

Brian

Posted by: wadworth

While your assumption that the issue is psychological may be correct, I wouldn't discount the possibility that there is a real medical problem. Parasites can be a problem that reak intestinal havok as well as result in inability to gain weight. American doctors are basically ignorant when it comes to parasites and since there cannot be anything they don't know, they will agree with you that the problem is psychological. For indepth coverage of the issue, consult the work of Hulda Clark who has written extensively on this topic. Do a web search and you'll find plenty of links and opinions on her work.

Posted by: Knight_Kadosh

I see Dr. Hulda Clark appears to be a medical pioneer, and I can also understand the AMA’s skepticism, for the moment. http://www.paradevices.com/index.html The possibility is duly noted, and thanks for the “heads up”.

Posted by: estguy

I think the toughest immigration is when there are children involved. First, mom is alone and not very desirable to Russian men (in general), so she is very motivated to care for her kids, which means even more motivated then a single woman. SO, you really don't know if she wants you,,or a better life for her kids ! Being a single Dad of three, I will tell you once they start going to school a few years, have friends in the neighborhood, they dont want to leave to go to Dad's house(or new Dad's country) , even if he has Nintendo, big screen TV, strippers (whatever) they want to be near there PEERS. So when you would think your doing the kid a favor, bringing them to America, you couldn't be further off base. Add in the usual close family relations in Russia, yur fighting an uphill battle. Now if your talking infant or toddler, your probably ok.
I would think about having the kid stay with Grand parents for the time being, and work her slowly over to America. But find the kid some freinds here,,adn get her plenty of English lessons
(by the way, after I was divorced I saw my kids everyday : )