FSU women and working - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

Pages: 1

FSU women and working
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: Testman

I have noticed that a surprisingly large number of Eastern European women will state (almost proclaim, in fact) in their letters, that they want to get jobs and work if they were to ever marry and move to the West. It doesn't make sense that they want to marry a "financially secure man" and then "have and raise children", only to get jobs when they get here. Are they saying they want to work, thinking it will impress potential mates? Or are they like American women, in that they think if they don't work, they will be the man's slave? I have had some really great women who seemed very interested in me, all of a sudden just throw this out at me. And if I question them on it, they seem to fear I'm losing interest and will sort of just change the subject, meanwhile, I fear they are just going along with me so I won't reject them. And so now, I simply do not understand what their real motives are. Can any FSU women here tell me what they think?

Posted by: AkMike

My wife wants to work not because she needs to but because she wants to contribute towards our family. She is my partner in every sense of the work.
I'm sure that she'll say the same when she gets back from Ukraine.

Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

I have noticed that a surprisingly large number of Eastern European women will state (almost proclaim, in fact) in their letters, that they want to get jobs and work if they were to ever marry and move to the West. It doesn't make sense that they want to marry a "financially secure man" and then "have and raise children", only to get jobs when they get here. Are they saying they want to work, thinking it will impress potential mates? Or are they like American women, in that they think if they don't work, they will be the man's slave? I have had some really great women who seemed very interested in me, all of a sudden just throw this out at me. And if I question them on it, they seem to fear I'm losing interest and will sort of just change the subject, meanwhile, I fear they are just going along with me so I won't reject them. And so now, I simply do not understand what their real motives are. Can any FSU women here tell me what they think?

My girl told me she doesn't mind working because she likes to be involved or busy doing things. But she does know that if she works here in the U S the pay is much better than the Ukraine. And she wants to like her work . In the Ukraine she kind of feels like all she does is work.

I don't know exactly when my girl might venture into looking for a job but I told her it is up to her when and if she wants to do it. She also wants to have some kids which is totally O K with me. It is one of our things we both want.

But when she gets here we will just have to let things fall into place without forcing anything or rushing anything.

Posted by: Longfellow

My girl has said that she understands the need in most situation that both adults must earn in order to provide well for the family and future.

I know she is not afraid of hard work (she often works up to 15 hour days only to draw a monthly salary of $100). It is a matter of participation and mutual responsibility to the family. When the time comes to have children, time off will be needed, but women want to secure for the family when they are able.
I don't think it's a one or the other statement to them.

Posted by: Chrismc

Yes its hard for us Western guys to comprehend, but for the most part when they say they want to work, that is actually what they mean, no hidden agendas! a novelty I know but very refreshing at the same time

As the guys say, they put the family unit first and if that means contributing then that is what they do. You also have to understand a lot of these women are used to coping on their own, bringing up kids as single parents etc etc so it is nothing new to them.

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

I It doesn't make sense that they want to marry a "financially secure man" and then "have and raise children", only to get jobs when they get here. Are they saying they want to work, thinking it will impress potential mates? Or are they like American women, in that they think if they don't work, they will be the man's slave? I have had some really great women who seemed very interested in me, all of a sudden just throw this out at me. And if I question them on it, they seem to fear I'm losing interest and will sort of just change the subject, meanwhile, I fear they are just going along with me so I won't reject them. And so now, I simply do not understand what their real motives are. Can any FSU women here tell me what they think?

If you are looking for a traditional housewife, FSU is not a place for you. Sure, you can find a woman there who would prefer not to work, and use your money and other resources as well, but then you will have to provide very well for her to be happy. Majority of us, though, prefer to have a job outside the house. It is the way we were raised. Our mothers worked, our grandmothers worked, and a social status of a woman who does not have a job is much lower than a social status of a woman with a career.. We are trying to have both a family and a job, rather then choosing between the two. Does not always work this way, but most of the women I know trying to make it work.

Posted by: j_c

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

My wife wants to work not because she needs to but because she wants to contribute towards our family. She is my partner in every sense of the work.
I'm sure that she'll say the same when she gets back from Ukraine.

Hiya akmike,

Not sure from your post if your wife is currently working in your country or not ?

Would be interestiing to hear from the guys whose partners are already with them on wether they are working or not. Also how difficult it was for them to get jobs?

One other thing to consider is that if your future partner has a profession, ie doctor , dentist etc..... is how and if their qualifications are recognised in their new home country.

Regards

JC

Posted by: Big wheel

Quote:

Originally Posted by j_c

Hiya akmike,

Would be interestiing to hear from the guys whose partners are already with them on wether they are working or not. Also how difficult it was for them to get jobs?

One other thing to consider is that if your future partner has a profession, ie doctor , dentist etc..... is how and if their qualifications are recognised in their new home country.

Regards

JC

Sveta will be here in mid to late sept. she want to work but how hard will it be? She also want to open her own biz here too. SO people do tell your story's and lay down the facts
thanks

Posted by: AkMike

Hi JC,
Yes my wife currently works here in Ak. In fact she just got back from Ukraine last night and has to go to work tomarrow. LOL, The jet lag is working her over now...

In Ukraine she was working as a 'Tamada' kind of a general party organizer/master of ceremony. She has 2 Masters degrees in teaching. and she is licensed as a hairdresser
there also. It's part of the tamada job. (Doing very fancy hairdoo's for brides ect..)
Here she's working at hairdressings at a local salon and had to take extra schooling to get her license. They did accept part of the hours of schooling from Ukraine.

I seriously doubt that any qualifications/ degrees will be accepted with out extra schooling to bring them up to speed of western methods. Even doctors or dentists. Lawyers would have to re-learn everything probably.. Laws are different enough to warrent this IMO.

Posted by: Jerico

When my wife came here almost 3 years ago she got a job almost immediately from Craigslist even. Teaching piano lessons.
Now she works at a college playing piano. A government job.
Shes the perfect type of person they want at colleges: 2 master degrees, woman, foreigner,speaks like 4 languages and has liberal views, LOL.The perfect choice for them!!!

I pay all the bills and my wife keeps whats she earns for herself.
Seems strange to some but i can pay the bills so I dont care but i have to work on her paying for her own things at the Russian store she buys, hehhe.
She can at least contribute a little bit.
The only thing she pays for is the gas she puts in my jeep, thats it or when she talks like crazy on the cell phone and I get a 300 dollar bill. Ya i make her pay that but she only pays the money over regular payments.
She has got a sweet gig if you ask me.
Its ok though I am not complaining but i know many other Russian, American couples with similar things happening so be prepared. It could happen to you.
Jerry

Posted by: azamuner

I can honestly say that if I was married to a RW I would prefer that she worked.

1.) For her independence, sense of self worth, etc
2.) To contribute financially

I could not afford for her to stay home all the time nor would I ask that of her. I'm sure if she just moved here she might need some time to adjust, but then it would be finding out what she would be qualified for and getting her out there.

It's too tough these days to get by on just one income unless you're considered well off.

Posted by: OldFlak

This thread may be getting a touch old, but it raised a question that was a recent (positive) issue with us.
My wife absolutely insists on working.
She doesn't have to, though the extra money is nice, and we have a 15-month-old son that tugs at her heart, but she finds work to be an essential part of her happiness and identity.
As a teacher, she has just completed the summer vacation, and while we traveled and enjoyed her time off, she was beginning to mope about the house some. She was ready to get back to work.
From Yekaterinburg, she earned diplomas in education, history and psychology. Once in the U.S., we immediately enrolled her in a four-month, intensive English language program at a university -- expensive, but well worth it.
After one year here, she went to work as a special ed teacher in local public schools. During the process of getting her Texas teaching credentials, she had her Russian education evaluated by the appropriate agencies, and her 5 years in a Russian university resulted in the U.S. equivalent of two BAs and two MAs.
For those of you who are dating or in the process of getting visas for an FSU lady, it will be worth every penny of the money for you to pay for notarized translations of all of her academic credentials before she leaves her home country.

Posted by: Testman

Thanks for the Info, guys. I am starting to think FSU women are a somewhat different breed with regards to working. They do seem to get different things out of it. Perhaps they eat a better diet and therefore have more energy that they need to burn off. (: Which, is fine with me. What ever she wants to do. I was just worried they were insisted on joining the workforce for the same reason a number of American women; feminista! I have actually had American women admit the only reason they even went to college was to get a good job when they get out and I quote, "get one over on men". (LOL, WTF?)

Posted by: LilyNewbie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

Thanks for the Info, guys. I am starting to think FSU women are a somewhat different breed with regards to working. They do seem to get different things out of it. Perhaps they eat a better diet and therefore have more energy that they need to burn off. (: Which, is fine with me. What ever she wants to do. I was just worried they were insisted on joining the workforce for the same reason a number of American women; feminista! I have actually had American women admit the only reason they even went to college was to get a good job when they get out and I quote, "get one over on men". (LOL, WTF?)

There was a well-known saying in the USSR, Thou shall not work, thou shall not eat. Many girls were brought up with an idea that they are not worth anything if they don't produce anything meaningful in their lives. This attitude does not have anything in common with feminista.
Additionally, some women just don't believe that the contribution of the husband is sufficient enough for the family, so the only possible life path for them is to work.

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyNewbie

" feminista "

LMAO, I like you already!

Don't use this word around AW or they get upset! Ask me how I know.....

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

LMAO, I like you already!

Don't use this word around AW or they get upset! Ask me how I know.....

OK, I'll ask, how do you know?

Posted by: AkMike

Just take my word for it... (You sure ask some silly questions at times!

)

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Just take my word for it... (You sure ask some silly questions at times!

)

You said to ask you, so I did

Posted by: I/O

Testman: Russian women are not domestic Goddesses. Sorry to burst the bubble of the agency hype. They are definitely NOT home bodies. Read "In Love's" post again. She nailed it.

I/O

Posted by: Chillidog

I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman working. Sometimes we equate "Feminist" movement with the woman not wanting to be in the home and working for her career. Though you can draw correlations between the two, they are not one in the same. We men here want a "Traditional" woman, well if I recall correctly my grandmothers worked and they are were DEFFINITLY "traditional" women. I would not be scared off by a an FSU woman or any women stating they wanted to work, what is important is there approach, thoughts and ideas about home, marriage, of this being a partnership, were both contribute equally, they may want to work but the home, family, relationships come first always to them, or to the type of woman most of us are searching for.

Posted by: AkMike

The feminist movement is done with a wiggle of their hips. It's got nothing to do with working. (Unless their "working girls").

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

The feminist movement is done with a wiggle of their hips. It's got nothing to do with working. (Unless their "working girls").

well there is nothing wrong with wiggling hips, and I kinda like the wiggling of the hips

and as we all know we pay for it one way or the other

but as you personally know it is definitly well worth it when you find the right woman

it is just a matter of each person knowing what they are looking for and not settling for 2nd best

Posted by: Zmejka

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyNewbie

Additionally, some women just don't believe that the contribution of the husband is sufficient enough for the family, so the only possible life path for them is to work.

My mother thinks like that, she even said that she's afraid that my friend will get tired of me not working and drop me

And sometimes on the phone she would say the opinion of her friends who ask about me - when they get to know i'm not working they say that it's so uncommon in Russia and they find my situation strange (even knowing that i was learning language at the time).
I don't mind working (and glad that i found a job and can start soon) but it seemed like my only value for my friend (in the eyes of my mother and her friends) would be only me working

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

Remember that they will want to work, not just sit at home, but they are also perhaps nervous because they might not be able to work for the first year or so, depending on language skills. So they will be totally dependant on the husband at first