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A little emailing advice?
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Posted by: MattDC

Hi all,

I'm new here, so forgive me if this has been discussed to death -- I did a search but didn't turn up much.

I decided to learn Russian as a hobby, and through the magic of google, ended up here and at other forums like it. After lurking for a month or so, I decided that meeting women from another culture on the other side of the world would be at the very least a great adventure, and has the possibility to be extremely fulfilling. I've always viewed marriage and relationships in a way that seems to line up more with Eastern European values than it does with the modern big city American views. I very much want to meet the right woman for me and spend the rest of my life with her.

So I put a profile up on EM. I've done pretty well with internet dating in the past, and I've tried to approach it much the same way. I think my profile's good -- I'm getting a lot of email and the majority of my "expressions of interest" are returned positively. The problem seems to happen when I send an email. They'll read it and never respond. This happens whether they emailed me first or just replied that they were interested to an EOM, and I'm writing mostly to women who understand English (self rated as either "good" or "fluent". If they're "good", I translate it into Russian online and include the same note in both languages). Am I handling this the wrong way? My typical email is something like "Hi XXX. I like x, y, and z about your profile. We seem to have (whatever it is) in common." Then I ask a few questions about her profile or where she lives and close with "I hope to hear from you soon. Until then, Matt" Sometimes I'll open with a joke about how I hope she's not getting too much email from old men.

Like I said, this approach has served me well on the internet with American women. Should I be handling it differently? I read Khashyar's first email thread, and I don't think the really long novel like that is quite my style.

So if you're having success with your emails, what kind of things are you writing about? Maybe my attempt to be low key and nonchalant is coming across as not very interested?

I'd love any suggestions you gentlemen can give me -- I think you've got to get to know a lot of people before you find the right one, and so far, I'm not really getting to know any of them. I'd love to avoid the fizzle a little more often. Thanks!

Posted by: Longfellow

The first thing I'd do is make sure you're sending email in plain text, not HTML.
I've also found that it is better to write Russian in Latin alphabet, rather than Cyrillic.
It sounds like your approach is good content... how much are you saying about yourself and your intentions? Maybe I wouldn't say anything about the amount of mail she is receiving, joking or otherwise.
Also, give the ladies time... not all have daily access to a computer.
Best of luck and let us know how things are progressing!

Posted by: MattDC

LF: I'm emailing through the Elena's Models site -- it handles both cyrillic and english characters. As far as info about my intentions, that's pretty clear in the profile. I think it's somehow the content of the letters that's turning people off. Like I said, it shows that they've read the message, I just never hear back.

Posted by: Pin Boy

hi matt and welcome,

not sure why you're not getting the replies you want cause i've never used EM. but, do try to stay away from jokes and/or sarcasm. it is often lost in translation, or in the case of sarcasm, not generally well accepted. good luck!

pin boy

Posted by: Longfellow

One of the things you will read everywhere regarding online dating is to not take it personally if you get rejected or non-response. It goes with the territory when women are receiving large numbers of letters.
Myself, I've always tried to introduce more about who I am that is not in the profile such as the kind of work you do, how long you've been doing it, interests and activities you enjoy, pets, family... different things that make you more human and less of a letter in their mind. Not necessarily specifics but "I have a warm and friendly family with my parents and 2 brothers and 1 sister. We are very close and get together often." or whatever is your situation. Closeness to family is something nearly all FSU women will relate to.
I don't think there's any formula... it sounds like you're initial letter has plenty of interest in the woman personally. Maybe just give them a little something more to spark their interest in you as a person.

Posted by: Chrismc

Well I would cut out the joke right away, what might be old men to you could be OK to her, I cannot see that going down well. I have used EM for 2 years and have always received a response to my first letter. However, my first letter is more like a novel, so if that is not right for you then don't do it, but I have to tell you, it works.

I usually set off by saying a little about them, one or two nice but basic compliments about their profile, what they are earing etc, nothing too personal, then I tell them all about myself, where I live, (no bragging) what the town I live in is like, about my work, my family/kids everything, then ask them to write back and tell me about their lives and also add I would be happy if they can send me some more photos, it never fails.

It is usually 3 - 4 x A4 pages long, I have actually had some really thank me for being so open and honest with them, even though it is a first letter and others stating I really felt a positive energy coming from your letter

The other thing is I make sure that I am always polite, not intrusive and definately not over the top on asking them about personal stuff. I do add one or two mild jokes in my first letter, but the jokes are about me, not them, but I have writen thousands of business letters in my time, so it comes naturally and I think that comes over to the women also, I write as if I am there talking to them.

Give it a go!

Posted by: EasyTarget

Matt: most likely you are making a common mistake that most people make in introduction letters.

The reader doesn't know how to reply.

I tried a variety of different introduction letters and the letter that finally hit the spot was the one where I asked 3 simple questions. Most of the time if there is any interest from her side she will reply, and at bare minimum will answer the questions.

I have some very unique questions (at least that is the response I usually get) and they are not too personal in nature and it makes it easy for the woman to know how to reply.

So make it easy for the woman to reply. For example: If you talk about your family in your introduction letter, ask her to reply with details about her family.

Just my $0.02

Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

Matt: most likely you are making a common mistake that most people make in introduction letters.

The reader doesn't know how to reply.

I tried a variety of different introduction letters and the letter that finally hit the spot was the one where I asked 3 simple questions. Most of the time if there is any interest from her side she will reply, and at bare minimum will answer the questions.

I have some very unique questions (at least that is the response I usually get) and they are not too personal in nature and it makes it easy for the woman to know how to reply.

So make it easy for the woman to reply. For example: If you talk about your family in your introduction letter, ask her to reply with details about her family.

Just my $0.02

Hey ET! Mahalo!
Share with us 3 unique questions.
(If nothing else, I will know what to avoid! LOL Sorry, just kidding!)

Posted by: Jerico

I agree with these guys, 100 percent drop the old man joke, end of story.
Thier humor is quite different over in Russia. These women will not think its funny, not just that joke but most jokes, hehe.

Write something like:

Hello _______ ,
My name is _____ and i really like what you wrote about yourself.
From your profile you seem like a nice person who I would like to learn more about. I am __ years old , financially secure and own my own home.
I have no children but would like to have some in the future. I like to travel and see new places as well as watersports.
If you are interested in learning more about me please send me a letter.
I look forward to your response !
Sincerly ____________

This is a basic letter wrote simple. Thats all you need.
Leters wrote plain and simple translate better to Russian language.
Notice how i didn`t say how attractive she is even though is might be a bombshell. They dont want to see this in your letter as they get it from many men. Comment on the career or profile. It works.

Send them a good picture at low resolution ( this is key to many responses). They like to see good pictures of you standing in front of your house or motorcycle. Something like that. Full body shot is good. Just dress normal , you dont need a suit but dont wear greasy white shirt either , lol.

Worked for me. At first wrote to about 24 women on ELenas models. 20 responded back , 3 of them were not interested. 17 was plenty and it took hours each night to write to all these women!! Then you weed them down to about 4 then you visit 1 or 2.

If you really like a girl and she doesn`t respond , send another letter or the same letter. There mail boxes get full sometimes and they dont recieve your letter.
I say this from experience as my wife was one of the first i wrote to of the 24. Her mail box was full. 8 months later I wrote her another letter and then she responded and i found out she never got my first letter.

Anyway just another guys opinion on this.
Jerry

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Hi all,
I don't visit here anymore but have been motivated to pass on what I believe is a typical scammer e-mail i've been getting in one of my e-mail address over the last week or so. About two years ago I played around with internet dating putting profiles on maybe a dozen different internet dating sites , which for the most part were free. Actually the only women i really struck up any interest and relationship with ended up being genuinely nice Ukraine girl I meet up with but I never started out with any intention of even considering women from overseas but we did get on extremely well so I knew it was atleast worth visiting her after knowing her well over 6 months. Anyway that relationship no longer exists but it appears some of those old profiles of mine must still exist and I forgotten passwords to these free acounts or even where they are. Well, between a week or two ago I got some women writing to me some e-mail asking for a reply but it is obvious to me she is Russian and the way her first e-mail was written I did not take much notice and amused myself by simply writing ,

> > There you go, i sent an e-mail back:-)

She obviously did not get the hint I had no interest and was just being funny.
Actually I should not even say she, because every chance it is a guy writing from what i read on this forum in my time here about some scammers.

Anyway I was a little surprised They did not stop there.
Here is their second e-mail.

Re: Send Me A Email‎
From: Evgeniya
Sent: Wednesday, 15 August 2007 2:04:41 PM

Hi my new friend Im glad to see that you have decided to reply,I see it is very short letter.It is all right because you are astonished to get my letter.I want you to know that I have only good intentions and I have not any secrets.The thing is that I will work in your country for three months or so andI would like to meet a nice man to fall in love or just be closest friends. I don't want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here,it is hardly possible to explain from first time but I want you to know my plans.I will work in any shop, bar or restaurant the agency that i am going through will suggest me some locations.It will be my choice in the end as to what option to go for.So I will have a simple work till I improve my English. And I can choose anytown of your area,agency will only help me to get a visa and all travel documents + some suggested placed to work in.My best friend last year met the man from the USA when she worked there for three months, too. She had two jobs. From morning till 4 pm she worked in amusement park and after it she worked as a waitress in some bar till midnight. She was very tired of course but made very good money there. It is special programm for young people who wants to work abroad and I think it is the right way for me ,I am lost here,and I think that I look pretty enough to find a better place .I want to repeat the same way,it isonly my chance to meet a nice man.I want to work in USA or in Europe or anynice country. I am full of plans and different dreams and I want to share mylife with good man because I'm also full of love and tenderness,I know thatI am not so beautiful like Hollywood Princess but I do hope to meet my Prince andI am sure he will be not be disappoined to meet me in the real life! This is why I am going to go through the same way.Well,I will close this letter and I do hope to get your reply.I will leave russia in two weeks or so (I can't tell you everything exactlyright now) and I would like tobe sure that I have the man who waits for me there. I will work all day and I want to find a man to spend all free timetogether to get to know each other better.if you have any interest to meet me I will be more than happy to meet you too.I will tell you all details about me and my life if you like my pictures andwant to meet me! please send picture of you too!!!I write to you with my new mailbox zhenya@x.x..x., please writeletters now only on this mailbox.I will wait your next letter. Kiss you , Evgeniya (this is my name)!

Mainly out of curiosity for how these scammers work I replied with an e-mail
again and allowed room just for the one in zillion chance it is a real girl who actually believes it is possible to do any of this.

Hello Zhenya,

That is all very interesting what you write. Sure, if you actually arrived here I would be happy to meet you and be friends and this is a wonderful country if you are genuine. But I offer nothing other than that. The next girl I fall in love with would have to demonstrate a lot in person and words in an e-mail mean very little to me at this time as I already meet a friend over the internet that I really liked and she sounded very nice and caring in e-mails but when I really needed her as a friend or girlfriend she really let me down and never gave much thought what I went through. So my trust is not strong for any person creating a relationship from writing to me on the internet. You are welcome to the challenge of proving otherwise, I have an open mind and heart for all people. I'm expecting the love of my life will probably be in my own country already but anything is always possible. I'm not sure a Russian or Ukraine women really understands how to create a really loving relationship from what I seen. I've meet a Ukraine women before. She was very beautiful and had a wonderful mind and heart but had no idea about caring for a man I found out when I meet her. She was nice but not thoughtful to me when it really counted. I genuinely felt I loved her and wish her good luck.

Have a good day and best of fortune to you on your life path

Hello my dear (what is your name?), thank you for your answer!

At first I think I have to say that I am new in internet and I have only good intentions.

you should know that I am not very good writer in english, please be patient to read my

messages and see many mistakes. to be fair I don't know what you want to know about me,in principle

I am usual girl.I think I should tell you about me, my interests,tastes and hobbies.I think I will tell you

about things I want to know about you and you will know my future questions.

I am 25 years old,my birthday is October, 25, 1981. I so much don't want to get older ,when I can see old women I am

getting crazy to think that it is my future .I do all the best to keep my youth and I keep my body well.In spite of all

difficultes here I am trying to be in good condition and I do a lot of exercises to be in good shape!

I am about 172 cm tall (5.6) and my weight is about 56 kg. I've been told I look well enough ,

and I think that all women have own beaty. I have never been married and I don`t have children.

I have one youngest sister and it is great problem for us because we have only two rooms flat.you can't imagine what does it mean to be born

in small town in Russia,there are not any chances to live well,to get a good job.All young people leave towns to search

great luck in big cities but nobody waits for them there. I want to leave Russia,I know it sounds ugly but I know that I

will be lost here like many young girls before me. It is not place to grow children and have stable future.I want to meet my right man .

I think in future I can work as fitness trainer I have a certificate. My mother is my great problem too,she has a great dream to see me

married and she wants to make me happy but I think it is only my business I am not a little child. She tells me every day

that I should get married very soon... To be fair I am not sure I am able to explain all in first message I

want to say so much! I just want you to know that I am not afraid to work,I am fairly goal

oriented and I am sure you will be not disappoined to meet me in real life.I am going to spend three months

abroad to work in any good place,agency promises to help me because it is only the way I can leave Russia.I will have all documents

to travel in a few days and i will travel to St. Petersburg then,from St. Petersburg I will travel to you and they ask me about name of the city i am going to work,

if you don't mind to meet me please tell me the name of your city and nearest international airport! I will book my flight from St. Petersburg!

I think it would be so great to meet my love and stay there forever.I know that it is not so easy like I think but I think it is possible that I meat my real love.

I want to love and to be loved I want to build our own happiness,only me and my man there. I don't smoke,I tried to smoke when I was younger.

I may have a glass of red dry vine,sometimes it helps to relax. I try to take care of my body and face. I know it is all I have.

My soul may have any itnterst for you later, I thinkso.I am not a little girl and I know that at first almost all men look

at body ,legs and face.God created males such persons. Well,I think I am lost in my letter,I am not sure you

understand my goals,please feel free to ask.

I live in Russia,town Shelekhov, Lenyna street 9, flat 7 ,it is near big city Irkutsk.

My town is rather far from St. Petersburg. I want you to reply if you understand my mind,my intentions,my soul,if

not please reply too, I will continue my searching. Well, I will close this letter,I think you are tired to read

it.and If you think that I should write shorter letters please tell me. I write from internet cafe in

Irkutsk because there are not cafes and possibility to use internet in my small town,we have 4 digital phone number and we

can't call abroad.Even to call in any big town here in Russia I have to order the call in advance.and I would like to say

please don't worry if I keep silence sometimes I have no time to travel ,it is about 25 minutes by bus from my town till Irkutsk

Please tell me more about you,your tastes,likes and dislikes .also I have a few impotant questions do you

like strong drinks too much?can you be very drunk?very ofthen?can you be rude with women?

Well,I have to stop or I will write without ending.Kiss you !see you later. In my next e-mail I will write you more things about myself and

more details about my trip and work. I will miss you, your Evgeniy

I'll keep you posted If the sender is silly enough to keep wasting their time with me

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

also I have a few impotant questions do you like strong drinks too much?can you be very drunk?very ofthen?can you be rude with women?

"I'm smashed so often that I have no idea if I'm rude to those b*tches or not."

Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevo

"I'm smashed so often that I have no idea if I'm rude to those b*tches or not."

LOL stevo! Let me buy you another pint!

Posted by: AkMike

Google her name email address and see what comes out. Sounds like a scammer NCZ..

Posted by: Longfellow

From her letter I googled "very short letter.It is all right because you are astonished to get my letter".
This is a known email template of scammers. Even found in blacklist on Elenas Models.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Good work guys.

I had not thought to google her e-mail address yet but i did just a few minutes ago.

He he, I got to read some of one of "her" coming e-mails when she arrives in St. Petersburg. I did not have a full name. Just the first name but putting in e-mail address Zhenya@clapmail.info did the trick where there is a post about it at an Oddworld Forum.

and yeah, Stevo, love the comments about the drinking. I never answered any of the questions in it.

Now for a quick note about an unrelated occurence in my day.
My whole world just got a bit Twilight Zone in last 24 hours as i'm writing about a suspected scammer here in a forum basically about connections between women from FSU and men from western world and since I posted this e-mail my paths crossed with a girl from Latvia in an unexpected way and hmmmm, she is just my type of girl but maybe a little younger than I would have considered for myself so right now not sure what to do about that situation but she is as cute as hell and surprised me with a special favour yesterday that blew me away. Why that should happen on the same day I make a post to this forum I'd stop visiting is freaky.
Essentially i just got thrown a curve ball, when i did not realise i was on the batting mound. Life can get very mysterious at times

Posted by: EasyTarget

NCZ: Swing for the fences...you might just get lucky.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

Now for a quick note about an unrelated occurence in my day.
My whole world just got a bit Twilight Zone in last 24 hours as i'm writing about a suspected scammer here in a forum basically about connections between women from FSU and men from western world and since I posted this e-mail my paths crossed with a girl from Latvia in an unexpected way and hmmmm, she is just my type of girl but maybe a little younger than I would have considered for myself so right now not sure what to do about that situation but she is as cute as hell and surprised me with a special favour yesterday that blew me away. Why that should happen on the same day I make a post to this forum I'd stop visiting is freaky.
Essentially i just got thrown a curve ball, when i did not realise i was on the batting mound. Life can get very mysterious at times

Go for it NCZ....you never know until you try and may regret it if you don't try!

Posted by: nocomfortzone

ok, the scammer sent another e-mail so i replied with the following:

here is what i wrote that still had them persistent

Hello, To answer your question , my name is blah blah blah.

I understand what you write but it does not resonate with my way of viewing life and how to correspond with someone in a meaningful way. You only talk about yourself and nothing about what I wrote. That tells me much about your nature that is a bit self centred and does not suit me for friend or romantic partner.

I wish you luck in your life and I know life is not easy in Russia. I'm very happy I was not born there or any part of Europe, Asia, America or Africa. Thankfully I was blessed to be born in Australia. I'm sure I will visit many of these other places one day myself and find my own way of making a difference in people's lifes in a good way but I don't see you match any vision I have for my life as any partner.

I wish you well finding your own way to create the life of your dreams and helping others do the same. It is always possible, even for someone in Russia like yourself.

Take care,

to which i got the following today

Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2007 23:55:52 +0600
From: zhenya@clapmail.info
Subject: Re[4]: Send Me A Email

Hello my dear

I am so glad to see your letter again,I think I am a lucky girl to meet such man and I will do my best to meet you in real life!

you know I can work in any city of your area because it is free choice and agency only helps me to get

only travel documents and ticket, and I do hope that we will like each other and now I have the destination.

The agency will also suggest some places to work in. I do hope I have met my right man!you know I have told you before one

of my friend worked abroad last year and have met right man,now they live there and they are going to

marry. by the way now they are arranging the trip to Russia,(he wants to meet her parents and friends)

I think if I feel that you are my dream and you have the same feelings we could think about our future together.

if not I will just work and return back when the time to travel back. you know I am new here and I am afraid to make any mistake.

I have one great lack,I am very impatient sometimes I can act without thinking.

Sometimes I think that my dream is getting for real and it is so bad to be disappointed later.

I want you to know all small things about me because it shouldn't be any misunderstandings between us.

I want you to know that I am not angel and sometimes I can show my character.And I don't wait that you to be angel too, I just want to meet a kind man .

I am very kind and I can forgive almost all I can't forgive if my man sleep with different woman, I don't know many nessesary words in english.

I hope you can read between lines. A little more about myself!

my favorite activity is fitness. I wanted to be as fitness trainer but

I finished The Irkutsk State Univercity, trainers faculty as fitness

trainer but I don't work on my profession because there are no good fintess clubs in my city,

I used to sit at home and to do all housework,helping my mom. I would like to have good job,

I may work dancing teacher, or trainer of fitness,you know I have a certificate. I worked as a trainer a year ago .

and I would like to do it again .you know how many more younger girls want to get this job too!Alot of competition here. I want to tell you about things I like:

I like to make barbecue and I so much want to have my own home with fireplace.

usually I make very tasty ones and in principle I like to cook and it is not problem for me to cook something tasty and I don't like to visit cafes and restaurants,

at first usually they can't cook weel(maybe only here) and second too high price.

I like warm weather. and my great dream is to live somewhere on tropical island. Also I want to tell you about my dislikes:

I hate our long winters it seems to me they will never end. I hate lies and unfaithfulness.

I hate evil people and politicans I think they like to play wars, I hate any ars.

What I like in a man: faithfulness, honesty. He has to be open- minded and open-hearted, also easy-going. and much more important he is kind,kindness makes our world!

Are you kind and gentle man ?????

I think my man should be kind ,it is great feeling after love,only kind person may be happy, all rude people are unhappy.

or must be. A few questions yet, agency tells that I will have a room in nearest hotel near my future

work but if we like each other may be is it possible to live together?I think we will enjoy life together. do you have your car?animals? I

can't drive and I do hope you give me a few lessons, to be fair I have so many plans .I will find out all travel details

about my flight this week. I will leave my town today in a two hours and i think I will be not able to write to you today or so.

When I am in St. Petersburg I will send you short letter to let you know that I am all right and they tell that it takes about two days to

get all nesseary papers, please confirm your phone number and international airport, I want to be sure I have all your details and

Please don't look at different girls. I am the best(joke). Well, I will close this letter I think I am bore today,and please feel

free to ask. See you soon!I can't believe everything is for real. to be fair I am lost and my head is like any big station with a lot of voice!

KISS and LOVE Evgeniya!

Which i sent the following which probably put and end to the fun and games

you so full of **** it is funny

No agency can promise a girl in Russia a job or visa to my city in Melbourne

you can only dream of living in such a nice place or even visiting

You need to improve your scamming letter process, or find much better way of making money where you actually help other people rather than try to scam

you might find it fun and rewarding one day

I suspect you are on a road to nowhere in life

sad but true

adios amigos

The interesting thing about this whole process for me was seeing even though i wrote back enough for them to know i have no interest they still reply. Seems like if they get a response they just send a standard letter and fill in your name if they know it but there is no real reference to what a person writes back specifically. The real amusing part to me is they start off saying they are coming to your country already but then forget later on in other mail they don't know which country you are from and ask for your city

and yes, thanks Easy Target and Chris for the nice sentiments about the Latvian girl I crossed paths with but i'm not sure i really want to go down the path of creating a relationship with a girl from other side of the globe right now. It is such a difficult path even with a really nice girl. I keep an open mind right now and talk to her a bit but I think I prefer creating a relationship with an aussie girl which is much more immediate of being in a real relationship.
If the Latvian girl becomes completely compelling to me I certainly go down the path then bit still early days in getting to know her right now

have a great day all and i wish you both well. Hope things work out for you EasyTarget with your couch surfer friend. Sounded like you and her should atleast keep in contact as friends

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

Hope things work out for you EasyTarget with your couch surfer friend. Sounded like you and her should atleast keep in contact as friends

Right now things are a little confusing. We are still talking ~ sort of. But I have the feeling it will not work out.
Therefore someone gave me some good advice the other day...
Live your life. Don't necessarily actively pursue someone right now, but keep yourself open to other opportunities.

And this is what I am going to do.
Nadia is a great person, care for her deeply, wish her all the happiness in the world, but sometimes the timing is just off.

And in a month or two, if things haven't progressed I will start actively pursuing other options. Although the thought of starting another long distance relationship, is rather daunting.

Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

Life happens. Schtict happens.
Keep the faith, bro.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

That advice seems with good intent, however if you don't pursue anyone, that is probably what you'll still be doing many months down the track.

The fact that long distance relationships are daunting is a fact even when two people can be in love so unless you *feel* absolutely 100% from both directions I think it is worth sticking to the home front where there are far less obstacles to two people creating a relationship together. I think if you felt Nadia had 100% attention to strengthening her relationship with you, then and only then would i think it worth you while to do the same. Be open to being friends and look for an ideal match where you are. If you don't find one and Nadia starts showing serious commitment to creating something with you then review your situation and see how you feel. Hope you find the best women for you regardless of where she is from

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

NCZ: The last few days have added a few more things for me to think about. We had a little chat on Thursday, just hey hows things going? I told her my thoughts / feelings and let it be. Put the ball in her court.

Sunday night she called me in tears. Things are not going well at home and she was very upset. I am still not sure why she called me, instead of talking with her roommates. Mind you she called me when it was 04:30am her time when she called. Maybe she called me because it was late at night, and she knew I would be awake. But she did tell me that I am really good at comforting her.

Monday night (tonight) she called me again to talk, she thanked me for talking with her on Sunday night. We talked for about an hour and half. Just more general talking, no specific topic and felt like one of our normal conversations.

From her side, she has stated that school is hectic and she hasn't had time to think about us. So you are right she isn't 100% committed and I don't know when and if she will be.

Although...although...although...I am willing to wait a little while and she how things go. I guess I am a little stubborn.

hijacked this thread enough...if there is anything else interesting to say; I will start a new thread.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Hi ET, my mind been curious what happened with Nadia. Any news... i knew you were atleast good friends... do you still keep in contact ?

You told me to swing for the fences with this Latvian girl I mentioned about 4 months ago. I have not done that at all but been chatting semi regularly with her with no plans other than keeping in contact over the internet when I've been around and her at the same time. If she was an Aussie girl i would be swinging for the fences because she ticks off many of the qualities I love in a woman. If she could speak english better it would be cool. I been learning a few latvian words from her just for the fun of it.

The funny thing is I talk to other woman, mainly aussies, as friends and this week one of the girls I liked as a friend I started to feel more than friendship for, she is not an Aussie though and then all of a sudden I was thinking I have a few feelings for two girls at the same time which I admit has never happened to me before so took me a bit by suprise.

This other girl knows I pretty keen on latvian lass and even given me advice on that situation but now all of a sudden I felt a bit of chemistry more than friendship developed I think she was getting a bit jealous so don't think I will talk to her about this latvian lass anymore as I really ike this girl as a good friend even though there is also some attraction for her also.. Dilemma.. dilemmas... this December month is turning out a strange one for me ... I'm in a funny space... don't know whether to just focus purely on locals as atleast they are physically here or actually start getting more serious about latvian lass... anyway made me think about your situation also and revisit this thread to dig up what we were chatting about then.

How are you going ET with your woman in your life as friends or otherwise?

It has been a few months now since I stopped being a regular visitor.

Posted by: joelunchbox

Soemthing just occurred to me. this will probably not apply to many people but...
I was introduced to my ex wife by my sister. I didn't bump into her myself. There was some "medium" involved (my sister in this case but...internet sounds a lot like "medium").
I wrote to her before I met her. About three months. amazingly, that is about the time that I wrote to each of the girls I met before we decided to meet.
She spoke a different language. Well not exactly but if you have ever dated someone from a distant part of the US, there will be some language problems! I still don't understand her occasionally! That deep west alabamian accent has to be heard to be believed!!
I had to travel to see her. A 300 mile round trip to be exact. I put a lot of miles on my motorcycle to see her. A conservative estimate is about 20,000 miles!! We dated for a long time! haha Oh, that mileage is about equal to what I have traveled to see Lola! that is funny!!
I met several nice girls before I met my ex but....for some reason or no reason they just didn't work out. Timing, personality and circumstances all have to come together just right.
If I had waited to meet someone where I was, under the right conditions...I might be a very lonely person today or an unhappily married/divorced person today. As it is, I am not pleased with being divorced but I am still friends with my ex.
I don't know why I react to romantic encounters the way I do but I am glad that I do! haha I have nothing but good memories of my ex and the three girls I have visited. Well, the I am marrying the third!
Hope I haven't hijacked this thread much but...just had a small epiphany.
thanks!

Good luck!

Posted by: EasyTarget

NCZ: Well it is good that you are chatting with the girl from Latvia, even if an opportunity doesn't present itself, practicing flirting to keep your skills sharp -- always a good idea.

And I am a firm believer that when one is in a relationship or even potential relationship, they are more attractive. So maybe the Aus girl sees that one girl likes you, maybe I should like him? Or maybe you are cute? Great way to start a relationship, friends first, then move ahead.

Nadia..Nadia..Nadia...
Well I continued talking with her for a long time. But I did start talking / searching for another woman, since I knew the timing was off with Nadia. Wonderful, wonderful woman, and I am hoping she gets what she wants in life. She returned to Russia but she is hoping to come back to the US on an F1 (student) visa. She wants to return so she can finish her Master's degree. The US embassy has not given her an answer yet.

But...the other day she sent me an email that ended the chapter on that part of my life. I don't want to post what she said, but I have 0 desire in trying to pursue a relationship.

So now...I am going to Russia to meet "A" and we shall see what happens.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

NCZ: Well it is good that you are chatting with the girl from Latvia, even if an opportunity doesn't present itself, practicing flirting to keep your skills sharp -- always a good idea.

You make a good point.
It's been good I been talking with her and just enjoy her style and getting to know her.

Quote:

And I am a firm believer that when one is in a relationship or even potential relationship, they are more attractive. So maybe the Aus girl sees that one girl likes you, maybe I should like him? Or maybe you are cute? Great way to start a relationship, friends first, then move ahead.

The other girl is European, not Australian (most of my close friends are aussie females though) but actually her humour and mine are similar which is the basis of our friendship but she happens to be very attractive which sometimes distracts me :-) A friendship between a female and male where you are clearly very fond of each other can get confusing sometimes. She is overtly sexual so that makes it harder. lol
But yeah, i'm sure she thinks there are a few aspects of me she'd like in a guy which probably makes her not like me bringing up the topic of other girl too much anymore. She has not said that but I been sensing it of late.

If i did not know better I would think she was an aussie in her convserations with me. She even picks up on aussie ways and slang without even being here.

Quote:

Nadia..Nadia..Nadia...
Well I continued talking with her for a long time. But I did start talking / searching for another woman, since I knew the timing was off with Nadia. Wonderful, wonderful woman, and I am hoping she gets what she wants in life. She returned to Russia but she is hoping to come back to the US on an F1 (student) visa. She wants to return so she can finish her Master's degree. The US embassy has not given her an answer yet.

But...the other day she sent me an email that ended the chapter on that part of my life. I don't want to post what she said, but I have 0 desire in trying to pursue a relationship.

So now...I am going to Russia to meet "A" and we shall see what happens.

I dont know much about this "A" girl... think i will have to read some of your posts from recent months but great attitude you have towards Nadia.

Friendships are not to be taken for granted even when you lose contact for awhile. You always have the basis of connection.

Posted by: Testman

When using Elena's Models, I had the same problem. Women never responded. Reminds me of Yahoo dating. I went to khersongirls.com, and I would say, 100% of the women respond to me there. And 85% of them write me back with every letter I write them. And if I wait too long to respond to one of their letters, they write me again! And maybe 15% of them rejected me, but at least they wrote me back. . .