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Second Thoughts...

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Posted by: HFiske

i was visiting the forums on the fiance.com site and roughly 80-90% of the posts were negative about finding a bride in the ukraine. i figured on some disgruntled men but not that many. not sure if i want to follow through or not, any opinions?



Posted by: ham

well, you it's you...what might not have worked for me or Barney or Pedro next door might for you UNDER APPROPRIATE CIRCUMSTANCES.
Just be wary some situations might arise and some dangers are real.
Usually, if you think straight and under the right inspiration, most red flags are obvious.
Women, however, are women: from another country, not another planet.
The FSU isn't a magic pill to trim our waist or regrow our hair or turn $10 into $10.000 overnight with some secret forex trading scheme of the wealthy'n'famous.
You must first have yourself and your finances in order; be sure to have realistic expectations.
Are you ready to travel soon?
Can you afford the expenses?
Are you aware of the many obligations you'll underwrite?

Be wary of "slow-scammers" and wise conpeople.
Yes, some might go as far as to marry you, to take you to court for money.
Learn from others' mistakes.
Freaks get caught...
Meek decent men get caught...
Phoneys who never stopped bragging online and being self-important get caught...

If you go the agency route, be wary most will make claims; most of these claims will be far-fetched (and often offset by small print none bothers to read ); some of these claims will be a real joke.
Some will offer a plethora of disneyland services, EG webcams, whatever...to help you waste money over paid ringers...
Remember an agency is a retailer selling a product...quality may come second to profit or turnover...and men write more often to pretty model pics of a uzbek pop star deceased in 1998 than to ordinary next door girls...

when you're through with these problems, it's always two people coming together. Divorce statistics are heavy both in the west & the FSU.

It's up to you.



Posted by: Tatysik

LOL, Ukraine isn't any different than anywhere else. They just talk a different language.
The folks I've met there are regular salt of the earth types.
I married a lady from Ukraine and I can't say enough about her qualitys. Not all of them are scammers. Infact I'd guess that they are a minority. You just hear more about them.
AkMike



Posted by: firemansam

Quote:
Originally Posted by ham
well, you it's you...what might not have worked for me or Barney or Pedro next door might for you UNDER APPROPRIATE CIRCUMSTANCES.
Just be wary some situations might arise and some dangers are real.
Usually, if you think straight and under the right inspiration, most red flags are obvious.
Women, however, are women: from another country, not another planet.
The FSU isn't a magic pill to trim our waist or regrow our hair or turn $10 into $10.000 overnight with some secret forex trading scheme of the wealthy'n'famous.
You must first have yourself and your finances in order; be sure to have realistic expectations.
Are you ready to travel soon?
Can you afford the expenses?
Are you aware of the many obligations you'll underwrite?

Be wary of "slow-scammers" and wise conpeople.
Yes, some might go as far as to marry you, to take you to court for money.
Learn from others' mistakes.
Freaks get caught...
Meek decent men get caught...
Phoneys who never stopped bragging online and being self-important get caught...

If you go the agency route, be wary most will make claims; most of these claims will be far-fetched (and often offset by small print none bothers to read ); some of these claims will be a real joke.
Some will offer a plethora of disneyland services, EG webcams, whatever...to help you waste money over paid ringers...
Remember an agency is a retailer selling a product...quality may come second to profit or turnover...and men write more often to pretty model pics of a uzbek pop star deceased in 1998 than to ordinary next door girls...

when you're through with these problems, it's always two people coming together. Divorce statistics are heavy both in the west & the FSU.

It's up to you.

HAM!

I Know you will hate this reply, so I'm sorry, but I have to say it......

This is a great reply that is both insightful and helpful without being "In your face" and "full of venom!"

Ham.... This is what I have been hoping to see from you and your experiences!

I thank you for this reply, truely, this is the Ham that would make this forum a better place. I really hope you can continue in this vein.

Thank you,
Sam.



Posted by: Pin Boy

not to blow smoke up your @&&, but i too thought that post was excellent advice!

pin boy

ps i just realized, FIREMAN sam could be the smoke blower, not someone named pin boy



Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pin Boy
not to blow smoke up your @&&, but i too thought that post was excellent advice!

pin boy

ps i just realized, FIREMAN sam could be the smoke blower, not someone named pin boy

What are you trying to do PB, knock him off his feet?!
I also agree that Ham's post was very straightforward and helpful. Thanks for the valuable contributions.



Posted by: firemansam

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pin Boy
ps i just realized, FIREMAN sam could be the smoke blower, not someone named pin boy





Posted by: ham

Most of the ado against me here (or elsewhere for the matter) comes from a couple idiots who are out to get me because in the past i disagreed with them or made their chipped shoulder ache . This says all. They pretend to "expose" what i type as false or flawed (forgetting often it is just commenting external sources or bare common sense ), but rarely (if at all) you get a meaningful critique of my points, but a load of junk about my personality, or -better- about the idea they have of me to suit their own purposes. They want me to be some psychotic, fitful taliban drooling over the keyboard after getting IV heroine...well...it's THEIR problem.


I have been attacked in all sorts of way, but i won't budge. For the Nth+1 time, the purpose of my posts is not to engage the man who (CLAIMS OVER THE INTERNET he ) has four millions in his bank account; or is a top dollar lawyer whose prenups cannot be invalidated or challenged in court; or is a "nuclear reactor operator & robotics engineer", or, or, or...
the hell with them & their theraphy sessions...i'm not a shrink.
I am insane & they are cool...good, alright...

The purpose is to forewarn average Joe. Then, people do whatever they want with the warning; after all, it's their life.



Posted by: firemansam

Quote:
Originally Posted by ham
Most of the ado against me here (or elsewhere for the matter) comes from a couple idiots who are out to get me because in the past i disagreed with them or made their chipped shoulder ache .

Nope!
I disagree totally with this Ham. I believe most people here do not like "many" of your posts not because they do not agree with them... Moreso because they do not like the way you post your thoughts.

You are a well of information and that you choose to share it with the "community" is a great resource!

It is only the "how" you share your experiences that gets people off side with your posts and as such, it becomes this wierd slanging match.

Ham, I have already said that I appreciated your reply that was both well thought out and well worded. This approach is perfect! If you continue down such a path, you will find little to no hostility to your posts!! Wouldn't that be a wonderful feeling??????

Anyhoo, this is only my 2c and maybe you don't care what I think....

Sam.



Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:
Originally Posted by ham
Most of the ado against me here (or elsewhere for the matter) comes from a couple idiots who are out to get me because in the past i disagreed with them or made their chipped shoulder ache ...
I have been attacked in all sorts of way, but i won't budge.
I am insane & they are cool...good, alright...
I'm sorry Ham, but to read this response to some praises given to you, you reply with what appears to be paranoia...
As Sam said, when you reply in straightforwrd manner, it a real asset.
Maybe try to stay on this manner, and let go the reflections of personal insult.



Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by firemansam

It is only the "how" you share your experiences that gets people off side with your posts and as such, it becomes this wierd slanging match.



Sam.


Sam I said the same specifically here http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...686&postcount=5 and commented here http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...16&postcount=80 and here http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...showthread.php?t=15918&page=6&pp=15 and...oh never mind it didn't do any good



Posted by: ham

Quote:
I'm sorry Ham, but to read this response to some praises given to you, you reply with what appears to be paranoia...
As Sam said, when you reply in straightforwrd manner, it a real asset.


If I had consistently harassed and plagued any one person the way some do or did with me, you'd bet i wouldn't be here anymore.
That is not paranoia.
Some people hate a concept, no matter how you serve it.

I could quote newspapers, print sources, US census or aunt Jemima, and they would STILL be after ME, forget a meaningful debate about the topic or the source at hand or forget the stance came originally from US census or aunt Jemima. The obvious reason being i mentioned something that ought to have been better kept off focus.


When someone makes a statement i disagree with, i disagree or doubt the statement...EG that Barney got 5 millions in his bank account; that Pedro's prenups cannot be challenged or overturned in court; that Fred is very likely not a "nuclear & robotics engineer"...why? Because I've "met" dozens of these phonies...ask any of them to validate their claim in the open, and they'll disappear in a mist of privacy concerns and double talks.
No different from the "cheer leading model booked by Dior" who said i looked like crap...but who proved to be a middle aged broad working mac jobs.

The day i'd make a claim about myself, people will be allowed to question it. But i'm the one who never makes claims, yet gets attacked all the time on a personal basis.

Face it, there is only one way to go along with these Barneys...patting them on the back & telling them how right or great they ALWAYS are.


The first time one got after me here was when i made fun of his statement he looked a lot younger than he was. I was sarcastic, not direct. I replied that i look so young in hospital they always try to get my feet's inprint.
Next i was called a troll, called names in anger and made an enemy.
Now how was one supposed to deal with that?
No way...doubt their (however frivulous and odd ) statement= be their mortal enemy.
Even more so with those disseminating "professional" advice...ha! I remember the 17yo punk kid who (FOR YEARS) had acted as "steroid guru" online, before getting busted...see where we're heading?
But of course the hate-filled, insane, screwed-head, incongruent moron it's always me...

Well, i can live with that.




Posted by: ham

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
Sam I said the same specifically here http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...686&postcount=5 and commented here http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...16&postcount=80 and here http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...showthread.php?t=15918&page=6&pp=15 and...oh never mind it didn't do any good



so much for discussing ideas, not individuals...



Posted by: joelunchbox

I am not sure how we managed to do it...
But we have hijacked this thread
BECAUSE Of Ham's very useful reply.

I don't know why there are so many disgruntled people out there/out here?? Maybe, it is because when you are angry, you tell people about your experience. There are many reasons. But the idea is to learn from others and reason out a strategy for yourself that allows you to meet someone that will be a good mate for you.

don't underestimate the expense, the time, and the effort involved.

The hardest part for me-and it took about two years to actually nail this down--was to figure out exactly what was important to me in a relationship. There are many attractive people out there but you have got to have a plan to rationally narrow it down. If you start looking simply for a beautiful person, there are not enough days in the year to look at every beautiful person in Ukraine much less the entire FSU.
Good luck, keep your head on straight.



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