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Other men
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Posted by: Jutman

Hi

What do you feel when other men wants to invite your GF out? (she of course refuse)

My GF can't quit understand that I am a little proud.

Posted by: spamer

Quote:

Originally posted by sean mcgann

Why would she tell you that

sean

She most likely told him that because it is a way to tell him that she is faithful to him.
I always looked at it as a complement, hey she with me.... not you. (sucker!)

Quote:

Originally posted by Jutman

My GF can't quit understand that I am a little proud.

You being proud sounds like it is your way of saying, Thanks for sticking up for our relationship.

Posted by: Jutman

Hi

Its not like she is invited every week or so.

a) She goes to a gym and after some time, the trainer have tried twice to invite her to a cafe after training. But it seems he understand the message, that she don't want his attention.

b) Her uncle is a procecutor and has a assistant. My GF is a jurist and occasionally help him. Here the assistent sometimes call/ send sms to her.

So I think the reason to why she tells me, its that she fell its akward and need some comfort from me. Honestly she is a little tired of Russian men, who don't understanf a 'NO'.

Posted by: ulughbek

I also think it is a way for her to show her loyalty to you. It is good to be able to discuss who each of you are spending time with while you are apart. I think my fiancee is happy that she is able to tell a guy that is hitting on her that she already has a man, and her wedding will take place soon. She doesn't tell me about that to taunt me, but only to be honest about her experiences.

Ulughbek

Posted by: ConnerVT

I believe that most people wish to feel secure in the knowledge that the person they love is committed only to them. Different people have different levels of confidence, in this subject ranging from arrogance to insanely jealous. I hope most fall somewhere in the middle.

For many of the men who follow this path, they will need to develop a strong confidence in themselves and their relationship, or trouble will certainly follow. The women we choose to marry are typically quite lovely, are exotic to the men around them, enjoy their femininity and take pride in their appearance, and have a sexy accent. If you think that RM are the only ones who will proposition your wife, you better get your head out of the sand! They will do so in your own country as much as they do in hers. Some won't even wait for you to be out of sight before they start flirting with your wife! I have heard stories from several men (and women) saying so.

You need to develop a thick skin and the confidence in your relationship to deal with this. Putting your wife under lock and key, or going into a jealous rage are not solutions to this.

In the original question, I can think of three reasons a woman might tell a man (in this situation) that she has been getting the attention of another man:

-- She is testing how he handles jealousy;
-- She feels insecure, and is fishing for a compliment; or
-- She is unaware how the comment may affect the man.

There are other reasons (she is trying to start an altercation, either between the man and herself, or between the two men) but I do not believe this is the case here.

Posted by: Arnold

Quote:

Original geschrieben von Jutman
Hi

What do you feel when other men wants to invite your GF out? (she of course refuse)

My GF can't quit understand that I am a little proud.

Hello Jutman,

Conner pretty much covered all the bases with his analysis of the situation.

I simply want to add, that maybe she wanted to elicite a response from you, somewhere along the lines of what you would do in a similar situation.

Women often times tend to ask questions in a round about way, by giving an example of what they would do in a given situation.

Perhaps, this is the cause for her inability to understand why you feel "a little proud"?

I am wondering, if she might be jealous, if you were asked out by a strange lady? Perhaps, she feels insecure, and needs reassurance, that you as well would turn down any such offers?

I am not sure about this. It was just a thought.

Best wishes, Arnold

Posted by: Jutman

Hmm

Let me clearify this. I DON'T want to her go out, and of course neither do I.
But since other men wants her, I must be lucky

- Maybe its something we have to deal with, because she had 2 men in her life before me for long time and they are not out of her life complete. So it is something we had to talk about and maybe therefor its no big deal for me/her anymore to talk about this.

---

Recently her previous BF/lover attented a party where my GF also was. She really did'nt want to go, but to avoid trouble with her girl friend she went.
Anyway her former BF had a new girl with him. They talked, and maybe !? danced, not that she wanted. At one time he stood up in front of the party and say he want to marry her now he has got divorce.
My, now angry, GF went home and was later told that he hoped our wedding plans fail, so in summer he would go to her parents house and ask for her 'hand'. All in front of the his 'new' girl.

He is a friend to her family and until november he lived about 200 yard/meter from her parents !!!

His ex and daugther still does.

The strange part, he feels compassion for me since he believe my GF is difficult. But then why, he wants to marry her.

- along with rest of my family my life sometimes exceed the Hollywood movies.

Posted by: Arnold

Hello Jutman,

maybe he doesn't really know what he wants?

Perhaps, he only wants her, because now she has someone else?

Who knows?

Best wishes, Arnold

Posted by: spamer

The one thing that runs in my head is reading somewhere that a Russian woman will take a verbal abusing by a man because they really don't have anyway to defend themselves. (maybe I read it wrong) Not like a AW who will give you a piece of her mind if you look at her wrong. (because the law protects her)

So with this thinking going on in my head, if my GF told me about this event and it happen to her, I would still look at it as a way for her to say "I am with you, and will fight for us to be together"

Which would make me feel proud! Like Jutman does right now.

I still remember being in a restaurant in Moscow and a male server gave a female server hell about something small she did. (I think she used the wrong plate)
To my surprise the male server did understand English enough to know I was getting pissed over his statements and back off her. (he heard me ask my GF why he was a jerk)

Posted by: Jutman

To Sean

No problem !!

To Arnold

I have a pretty good idea, why !!

They had 'relationship' for 3� year. In the beginning she was in-love, but soon realized he was not. I believe he became, and she has told me that he considered her as his wife no.2.

They had a strange relationship where he sometimes was out of contact for 2 or 3 months, then he sudden call and she said yes.

Or he call her, but she said no if she date other men or were busy with exam. Eventually she did say yes.

Finally they have a real break about 1 year before the finally break, however after some weeks she she was pursaided to resume relationship, which she did.

The bottom line of all this is 'she went back to him, many times'. and I believe he thought he could run this show forever.

----
From what she tells me I believe he really loves her and would stop dating other girls, at least for some years, if they got married*.
From her, he has only 2 faults. He slept around and would not be able to give her a family.
Otherwise he was a good man, and thats why she keept coming back to him.

* I know this sound strange, but I have my reasons to believe so. Most af all he tried to make her jealouse. One time she bought a prostitute to him, and we really did not want to, in the beginning.

Posted by: Arnold

It does sound a lot like an American soap opera!

In the end all that counts is that you and your girlfriend have found one another and that you guys are happy together.

I think it is better to be with a partner who has experienced good and bad times in regard to love. This way chances are better that they know, what they are willing to give and what they expect in return.

In your case the soap opera has evolved to a Hollywood 'chick flick' with a happy end!

BTW, a 'chick flick' is a tear-jerker, something that makes you cry a lot. I am just explaining the term, because I have been reprimanded in a different thread for using slang. Well, actually for the explanation of it....

Best wishes, Arnold

Posted by: ConnerVT

Quote:

Originally posted by Arnold
BTW, a 'chick flick' is a tear-jerker, something that makes you cry a lot. I am just explaining the term, because I have been reprimanded in a different thread for using slang. Well, actually for the explanation of it....

OT, but I can't resisit...

I introduced the term "Chick Flick" to my fiancée on my last trip to Russia. We were home one night, and Kevin Costner's Message in a Bottle was showing on TV. I explained to her that a chick flick was a movie where the man and women do nothing but talk, the woman cries, they kiss, and absolutely nothing happens for two hours. It's fun to explain, especially when you add pantomime!

For the next few days, we must of explained that term to about 20 of her friends and family...