my own scam stories - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

Quote:

hello.
here is my experience.
I post it upon invitation by the moderator.
I didn?t before because I thought it was unnecessary & I didn?t want to take any stand about it: EG I have traveled all over eastern Europe since 1990 ( from Poland to Hungary to Latvia, Estonia, Ukraine but never Russia ) while some who never have ( or have less ) could think I am being supercilious because ?been there-done that?, etc.

3 years ago, in Ukraine ( Kiev, Vinnitsa, Nikolaev etc ).
I sorted a few women out, after i had selected them with the help of 2 local dating dealers i know & trust.
The correspondence with them ( very short, indeed. I had to visit there for business anyway )had been proficient.
I would always take the correspondence path first, because if someone cannot even carry on & foster such a basic relationship & grow it into something more, it doesn?t matter their physical shape or education?
no red flags. no requests for $. no shuffled canned letters, etc.
At the time i wasn't that "committed" to the process... i stepped in the " let'see " way.
Serious, but not too eager nor desperate.
There were 5 women on my agenda.
* Natasha. 5 years younger blonde stunner. she checked "unmarried" on her first application/interview.
* Natalya. 6 years younger blonde. Not quite a stunner, but gorgeous. She checked she had no kids.
* Irina. 8 years younger cute brunette. She listed she lived at her mother's with her older brother, and that her mother had left for some family reasons.
Sounds good, don't you think?
Girls were pleasant folks themselves in my first 1h meetings.
So here i am to pick one girl to invite to my country... we don't have the US crap laws. They were "as displayed", as my friends there had taken pics of them in person, so i stood no chance of people 50 pounds "older" or the like.
They were cute to say the least, and polite.
but...
* Natasha was divorced from a felon. This guy still seemed to be after her. When i confronted her on this, she blushed and babbled about the equivalence between unmarried=non married=divorced. And admitted she needed a way out away from him. No harsh feelings, but i had to say goodbye because her own reason to venture abroad didn't match mine.
* Natalya had a 6 months old babygirl. When confronted on this, she firmly replied her daughter would stay at her parents' and that she wasn't looking for a father for her. Also, she explained she had no beef against her ex: things just never took over between them. Of course it wasn't for me, despite her reassurances.
* Irina. Well... the "older brother" was her boyfriend, chum, what ever. He had rented the flat from somebody months before that. Her family lived in a village far away. Not my girl.

So you see by now i was in for big surprises... a felon crazed about his ex wife... a 6month baby... a boyfriend who might as well be a dating pimp...
Did i post any of them of scam sites?
No.
Did i loose money?
No.
Do i have a sob story whose outcome is "never again"?
No.
Do I am here seeking support because I played the knight in shining armour, the hopeless believer/romantic, the ?big sookie lap baby willing to give?, but (as ?it takes 2 to tango? ) I found just unappreciative, selfish ?visa wh@res??
No.
I met the other 2 ladies, who were 110% honest, charming & polite but we just happened not to be the right match.

I just instructed my friends to:
* take pics of girls themselves (= no claims upon expectations arisen from pic "50 pounds or 10 years younger" or from pics of Hallywell/ who ever female celeb )
* ask for their passport. Everybody gets one. Some told me asking for it may prove "rude", but who cares...it's my $ & my life. Running the # through a database to know Irina A** is Irina A** & not Fat Yuri. Takes 2 minutes but then no need to forge aliases to test the lady's identity or intentions.
* Background search on the few, final ladies. Here's how you know an "older brother" is a sibling and not a pimp or a boyfriend; whether she has been on herself, or just involved with felons etc.
Disclaimer: I am not in for ethical considerations: if someone happened to choose a felon, ok. If a single mother tries to go ?the extra mile? to secure a brighter future for her child, ok.
It costs just a bit more than the usual "flower delivery trick" but reveals much more. Just they reasons didn?t match mine, thus we had to part.

Which dating dealer-provider goes this extra mile?
Some just (mostly) recycle left-behind databases or accept mail-in profiles ?as is?.
Some claim they have no resources ($) to spend on this stuff.
Some claim their affiliate 2 time zones away shall do so...and viceversa.
here's my way...
take it for what's worth.

Now I realize I had better probably looked ?closer to my age?, although you see I didn?t seek teeners.
I didn?t seek stunners as well. Out of 5, just 1 was maybe noticeably ?out of my league? ( she had seen my bio&pics, however? ). Others were charming & pretty to me as well, but not stunners.
This experience taught me even more how important is to understand the mentality & customs of people.
I therefore started to learn Russian seriously because I?ve always been interested in the culture as well.

SCAM.
Were I ever scammed?
YES.
How much?
A few 100?s.
I think about 4-5 years ago.
It was my very first approach to the FSU.
I was maybe more gullible than now, but I think what made me come off guard was a friend of mine ( a local Ukrainian ) had checked her & she was ?real?.
The screenplay is the usual:
Met on the WWW, planning to meet, blahblah: I gave her $ to meet me while I?d be there for business.
Guess what?
After I bursted the bubble (= I grew smarter after she stood me up ), she even left the physical address my friend had verified ( he even called her ).
Do I ?hate? her?
No: I ?let it happen?.
There was something strange? a few of the usual ?red flags??I smelled a rat, but the fact my friend had checked her made me come off guard: my own mistake.

The bottom line:
Do I think all FSUWs are bad?
No, otherwise I?d be looking in Thailand or India or here.

Do I think FSUWs score higher in my list than local women.
Yes, I do.
Is just a pair of legs I?m seeking?
It wouldn?t be worth the travel/hassle & certainly I wouldn?t be learning Russian if it were like that.

Do I seek teeners, stunners, 10?s??
No.

Why do I am still seeking information?
Because it didn?t work out first & I suppose I made mistakes & ignored facts I shouldn?t have: information is the key to never repeat mistakes.

Do I think MOST FSUWs are bad?
How can I count them, if I never met them?
I can say very many *Ws come in the MOB process with ulterior motives?same as very many men do.
But I do make a difference between a man being a 5 and seeking a 7-8 ( 9-10 would be insane ) + preferring a stay-at-home companion AND women who foreplan domestic violence allegations and/or research laws on compulsory divorce allowances and/or have a Ph.D in economics and have been keeping accounts for ?Diadia Olega ? shop for ages at 100$/month and expect a 6 figure income & a telepicture job in the west and/or women with unfinished education who expect husbands to sponsor Ivy League studies (and claim violence if they don?t! ).
I think if a FSUW just or mostly wants a taste of ?economic trade up? or claiming a job her education supposedly ?calls for?, she?d better compete in foreign job recruitment programmes & the like, instead of seeking Romeo?s while ?educating herself to her new rights once over there?.
It?s unfair to the (pluri)divorced, eager-to-give, fluffy-feeling, emotionally vulnerable kind of man that (mostly) will come to her as a knight in shining armour to his Cinderella princess.
As far as Hannibal Lechter kind of men, I suppose there are some, but even the INS could NOT prove it. And here I talk about ?average? people: not ?Hannibal?, nor ?grandpa seeking granddaughter? etc kind of people, nor about just fun seekers.
I am not a freak but I believe in fairness.
Of course both good & bad extremes are the 1-2% that keeps us talking, while the silent majority in-between just lives an everyday?s life.

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