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A little help please....
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Posted by: HFiske

i'm new to this russian bride deal. i just got divorced 7 months ago and have grown to have quite the distaste for american women. anyways, i decided to check in to that elena's models website and take my chances. i sent out the 20 letters to show who i'm interested in and got no positives replies out of any. it's not like i'm looking for a goddess either, i'm 30 years old and every woman i chose was from 24-34. i keep myself in shape and have never had a problem getting a date with good looking women. the only thing i can think of that may be a hindrance is that i have shoulder length hair. i keep it clean and healthy looking and all that but i didn't know it there was some kind of a cultural deal in the ukraine involving men with long hair. i would appreciate and tips or advice.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Welcome to the RMP HFiske!

I haven't seen too many long haired hippies in the Former Soviet Union (FSU). But I know there are some. Russian Women (RW) are very hygenic, personally and in their homes. The long hair could be a turn off or it could be something you said in your profile or your first letter. I would be happy to take a look at either. Just send me a e-mail though this board.

Good luck with your new adventure!

Posted by: royalpalace774

I'm in Odessa now and the only men I see her with long hair are from the ages of 16 to maybe 25 and for some reason they are dressed a little trashy as in KURT COBAIN .

Worn Sneakers, backpacks, etc.

Nothing wrong with that, but thats what I am seeing here right this moment.

The local women here dress like they are ready to do a cover of a magazine. Nice shoes, great perfume, stylish attire, nice handbag. Almost as if you were in New York or Hollywood California.

Yep these fsu women take very good care of themselves and I think they probably expect a certain grooming on a man they will date.

Posted by: AkMike

I know a local guy that found a great RW and he still wears a mullet haircut. Don't sweat it,be yourself!

Posted by: Longfellow

I asked my RW about her opininon of my earrings, etc.

Her very clear answer was, "If you are comfortable, I will be comfortable".
So be yourself.
If you worry about it alot, get a summer cut. (I've heard that hair grows back).

Posted by: Texas Proud

How long did you wait??? Also, when was the last time the woman logged on???

There are some that even though they are on the site, don't long on at all...

There are some that have a correspondence going with a few guys and might not want to start another...

And there are some that just might not like what you wrote in your profile...

Twenty women is not a lot IMO... some here got lucky and found their lady with that few, but I would say that I went though many hundreds of them (say in the 500 to 700 range)... I ranked a lot and some were crossed off after one or two letters... it IS a tough process...

BTW, if you have a problem with 'American women', then don't think that Russians will cure that problem... yes they are different in some ways, but they are WOMEN and can drive you batty just like the locals...

Posted by: joelunchbox

Some good advice I was given after my divorce was: two years. I didn't believe it at the time, but it really did take about two years to get back on an even keel.
You can search my posts to see my adventures and advice.

But I think a very important part of searching for a lifetime partner is to take time to analyze what you are really looking for. And what compromises you might be willing to accept. If you met someone and hit it off, but they mentioned that they would like to see what you looked like with shorter hair...would you cut it off? Be honest with yourself and the girl. Two things amaze me about my current relationship: One, that I still act like a teenager sometimes and don't ask the questions I should--I am getting over that and two, so far I have not caught any static from her about anything I have brought up. Everyday, I feel more comfortable with her.

Posted by: weather-7

A man with long hair (and especially if he takes good care of them) looks great. Like it was said above, just be yourself.
Some ladies like men with long hair. I think it can't be an issue?

Good luck! And just in case, check information you've send them about you may be you wrote something strange about yourself....?

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by weather-7

A man with long hair (and especially if he takes good care of them) looks great. Like it was said above, just be yourself.
Some ladies like men with long hair. I think it can't be an issue?

Good luck! And just in case, check information you've send them about you may be you wrote something strange about yourself....?

I don't know if I can agree with that completely Weather, most of the Russian girls I know don't like long hair.

HFiske, If you have a GOOD picture (ie dressed up, well groomed etc) then maybe you just have to keep trying until you find one that does not mind it.

You might be surprised, but it could be that most girls age 26 - 34 will prefer a man aged 35 - 45, and would consider a 30 year old too young. You might have better luck if you try those aged 22 - 25 (but be sure that she is serious and mature enough to be in a serious relationship) I got the 'Gold membership" from Elena, unlimited contact (EOI) and unlimited exchange of letters with 50 ladys. When you get the package, Elena will offer you her e-book at half price, I would recommend it, it gives advice about writing a good first letter, women's expectations, dating, etc. I might not agree with everything but overall it was very helpful, and especially if you do not have alot of experience with Russian/Ukrainian/etc women.

Posted by: Spakoyna

Why don't ya ask the Leprecaun? He has a long ponytail as I remember!

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Why don't ya ask the Leprecaun? He has a long ponytail as I remember!

Does that cost $7.99?

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

Does that cost $7.99?

LOL! Ask him! He is a member here!

Posted by: AkMike

But not all FSU women like "extra" hair.
I asked Tanya what she thought I'd look like with a beard........
She said 'Lonely' !!!

Posted by: Chrismc

Can't argue with that Mike

to the point, no chance of a missunderstanding there

Posted by: HFiske

thanks for all of the advice. i have since purchased the gold package and have had 3 ladies correspond with me. my picture is probably the problem, it's just here in the US most of the girls i went out with liked the long hair and the rebellious look.

one of the ones i sent was this one:

well i guess i need to hang out here more often and read up on what you guys are doing and make notes or something. i told you i was a newbie. thanks for all the info.

Posted by: Pin Boy

hi fiske,

looking at your photo, i'd say it may not attract so many RW. try to take spme photos in a little dressier clothes, pull your hair back, and possibly take some photos with and without your glasses. just my two cents.

pin boy

Posted by: j_c

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

hi fiske,

looking at your photo, i'd say it may not attract so many RW. try to take spme photos in a little dressier clothes, pull your hair back, and possibly take some photos with and without your glasses. just my two cents.

pin boy

I disagree, sorry pinboy, be yourself, so you got long hair , wear jeans and a t-shirt in your pictures,find the one who likes you for who your are ......if you try to fit what they want , it will probally cause problems down the road when your revert back to your true self..

JC

Posted by: martin3030

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

But not all FSU women like "extra" hair.
I asked Tanya what she thought I'd look like with a beard........
She said 'Lonely' !!!

Classic......Bernard Manning may have gone but I reckon if he was still here he would have loved this one .......but changed it slightly..........
By the way Chris...........race looks like hotting up
Going to Russia closing in......only 7 posts behind you !!!
lol

Posted by: HFiske

well i see it's a draw on the hair issue. maybe i should dress up for some pics or something, really didn't think it was that big of a deal, story of my life. i do have a 16 month old son, i think that's probably a strike against me as well. i only see him every other weekend but perhaps these women think it's an issue. i've been looking for women with kids just to better my chances. any stories about this.......?

Posted by: Chrismc

I think just be patient HF, do some fishing yourself, cast your nets far and wide and one or two or more will come along and then you are on your way.

Just one point, if you are on EM, make sure you log in and out each day or even a few times each day it will move you up the rankings.

easier for them to find you

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Hmm ... tattos, tee shirt, and long hair. I would say most RW would not like this. They want a man they can show off and a tee shirt doesn't cut it with them.

My first photo was in a tee shirt and I didn't get many replies. I updated my photos with a dress shirt and lost count of the number of women that wrote.

I also have a beard and moustache. They didn't mind as long as it was well groomed and short.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by HFiske

well i see it's a draw on the hair issue. maybe i should dress up for some pics or something, really didn't think it was that big of a deal, story of my life. i do have a 16 month old son, i think that's probably a strike against me as well. i only see him every other weekend but perhaps these women think it's an issue. i've been looking for women with kids just to better my chances. any stories about this.......?

Yes take a "GQ" photo but leave in the tee shirt photo if you like.

Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:

Originally Posted by HFiske

Just like you want to see a woman at her best, so do they about you.
Look sharp! Get a friend to spend some time with you (take a few different shirts) and snap a couple hundrend photos.
If you're anything like me, you'll be lucky if 10 of them make you look a little better than a monkey. But there is an old Russian saying, " A littlle better than a monkey is good enough."
But put your best face forward... first impressions matter.
If you want to keep long hair, go for it! Just make it look as good as you can... the whole package.
First impression you get is the photos... then they'll read and translate what you say. But everyone knows, it's only words.

Posted by: AkMike

Just a side note.. Since your son is 16 months old... How long have you been divorced/split up? Are you healed up enough to go for a serious long distance relationship? The trips are spendy, the phone bills choke a horse.
There is ALOT of advantages and dis-advantages to this path..

Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Just a side note.. Since your son is 16 months old... How long have you been divorced/split up? Are you healed up enough to go for a serious long distance relationship? The trips are spendy, the phone bills choke a horse.
There is ALOT of advantages and dis-advantages to this path..

Obviously, HFiske has decided to travel this path, ready or not, here I come.
What's the motive? How emotionally ready? We can't know...
He's already run it up the flag pole... want's to see what gets a salute..
Ready? probably not, but asking for direction midstream.... OK... here is the advice...

Posted by: EasyTarget

The dark glasses and the way you are standing in the photo are making you look a little standoffish. When you shoulders are parallel with the camera it is usually an odd pose. Turning your shoulders 10 - 15 degrees from the camera and then look back at the photo.

Number one rule I give people when I take their portrait is to laugh. Not smile, but laugh...it is amazing how when you are laughing you add 1 or 2 points in the good looking scale.

Women really want to be able to see your eyes. I would do a closer photo where they can see your eyes i.e. a photo from the shoulders up.

However the photo I got the most positive response from was a photo of me in my Aloha shirt standing on the beach. Go figure.

Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

However the photo I got the most positive response from was a photo of me in my Aloha shirt standing on the beach. Go figure.

Don't all women love a sense of humor?
Imagine island boy with a big grin and lookin' like haoli (maybe you hold a big coconut drink and thumbs up to the brothers in Wisconsin?) LOL
Yeah, wear the aloha shirt with white shorts, black socks and sandals! This'll disarm the beauties... just turn 10-15 degrees in shoulder!!!!!

(Sorry ET, the mental image just had me laughing so hard! Kinda like you at airport with flowers and I-130!)

Posted by: Texas Proud

I am also one of the 'be yourself' group... I wear shorts here in Texas when I can.. and many RW don't like shorts... I was upfront about it and let the chips fall as they may...

As others have said, you do have a number of 'negatives' to many of the women, but just like some are 'biker chicks' and want to meet a biker... some are not...

Take your time... it took many over a year to meet the right one... and then it can be one, two and even three years with visits to make sure and then visas etc etc.... this is not like meeting some chick at the bar and having her move in next month..

Posted by: joelunchbox

If you will never dress up...don't dress up. But most of us will wear nicer clothes because we want our ladies to be proud of us. so show the real you but also show the "possible" you. I dance in a civil war era group and I have to wear a tux. That is the "possible" me and I throw one of those in there with the other pics of me. It also shows that I dance, which a lot of russian women find amazing. do no russian men dance???

Posted by: Longfellow

Quote:

Originally Posted by joelunchbox

If you will never dress up...don't dress up. But most of us will wear nicer clothes because we want our ladies to be proud of us. so show the real you but also show the "possible" you. I dance in a civil war era group and I have to wear a tux. That is the "possible" me and I throw one of those in there with the other pics of me. It also shows that I dance, which a lot of russian women find amazing. do no russian men dance???

Oh! Mutton-chop Joe.
You are a dandy!
I can see the Belles swooning and fanning oxygen to their face in your enormous presence!
And do you assure them, "The South will rise again?"
ROFL!
Sorry, it's just my over-active imagination at work...

Posted by: HFiske

i appreciate the input. little hesitant to cut the hair, i play bass for an 80's rock cover band on the weekends and the singer (leader) of the band wants us to have that "metal" image. as far as my divorce goes, i have been separated from her for a year and a half and even before that we knew it was going downhill. we decided to have a child to "save" the marriage, but of course that never works. anyways, i will take all of your suggestions in to consideration, i feel stupid because i've already paid 400 bucks to kiev connections to hook me up with 10 girls for when i visit next month. the bad part of that is i sent pics like that for them to see, i bet they're gonna have a hard time. oh well, who knows.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by HF

the bad part of that is i sent pics like that for them to see, i bet they're gonna have a hard time. oh well, who knows.

You never know, but why not just send them a few more pics of you, to be honest, the more they have the better they can form an opinion of you. It is like us searching for women, some of their agency pics are not very good and yet when you get to know them and they send you some natural ones, they look much better.

I fact the lady I am corresponding with now has as her main feature picture what I think is the worst she has shown me, she has since sent me maybe 20 - 30 others in all styles of clothes and on holiday, business situations etc and she looks fantastic in all of them, but her main feature pic IMO is the worst of the lot.

So you never know, how we are attracted and when, sometimes it is not all to do with pictures but a combination of pictures, profile, what we say, how we come across etc etc

Posted by: Brianelkin76

Bro it's not your hair, it's the fact you are 7 months divorced and look to be in rebound mode. I had the same problem, then I took out how long I have been divorced and got flooded with letters. Trust me revise it a little and the longer the letter is the better. It shows you actually have an interest in knowing the girl. thats the reason my girl chose me over the others I actually acted interested in her and get ready next you will have to narrow it down to one girl now thats hard

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by HFiske

i appreciate the input. little hesitant to cut the hair

...because I'm worth it!

Seriously though, I wouldn't get it cut, suits you fine IMO.

Posted by: weather-7

Quote:

Originally Posted by HFiske

one of the ones i sent was this one:

well i guess i need to hang out here more often and read up on what you guys are doing and make notes or something. i told you i was a newbie. thanks for all the info.

Well, man
I find you pretty cute, though I'm not a typical woman. I'm surprised somebody told FSW doesn't really prefer such type of men. Tastes are differ.
And if talking about the age I can hardly imagine 26 y.o ladies prefer 45 y.o men. All my boyfriends were not older than me. And I was o.k with that. I would say I wouldn't like someone more than 5 years older.
I would say a big age difference could be an issue but not appearance.
Any way it's just subjective opinion.
Keep looking for a nice lady for you, and you'll find her.
Good luck.

Posted by: Testman

Quote:

Originally Posted by HFiske

i'm new to this russian bride deal. i just got divorced 7 months ago and have grown to have quite the distaste for american women. anyways, i decided to check in to that elena's models website and take my chances. i sent out the 20 letters to show who i'm interested in and got no positives replies out of any. it's not like i'm looking for a goddess either, i'm 30 years old and every woman i chose was from 24-34. i keep myself in shape and have never had a problem getting a date with good looking women. the only thing i can think of that may be a hindrance is that i have shoulder length hair. i keep it clean and healthy looking and all that but i didn't know it there was some kind of a cultural deal in the ukraine involving men with long hair. i would appreciate and tips or advice.

Trust me when I say I have SHORT hair and also stay in shape. I too, used Elena's Models and got no where. I think its the membership I bought. The type I bought lets you see the women's profiles after they have been picked over by the other guys. Actually, the fact that I received no positive expression of interest, is actually a good testimony that the women have settled on one guy by now. That's the silver lining in this cloud. Use another agency or buy the top membership for better results.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

I don't think the reason your not getting any hits is your hair or your membership. My hair is a heck of allot shorter than yours, and I only bought the middle membership at Elenas, plus I had to explain to all the women that I had been married 3 times already (not an easy problem to overcome for them) and I had some decent luck. My question to you is, what do your pictures look like in your profile? Do they look like the one you have posted here on RMP? If they do, get them re-taken in some better, more formal clothes. Have someone critique your profile to see if there is anything you can do to improve it. You have to remember, you send out an EOI to these ladies, they are gonna look at your profile before saying anything to you, so you have to make your profile sell you in the best possible way. Get them to take the bait so to speak then reel them in with your charming personality.

Posted by: Testman

You must have been talking to HFiske. No one has shorter hair than me.

Posted by: blucatz

No, I was talking about you, I have no hair, well, a little bit of peach fuzz. But that doesn't pose a problem for FSU women. From what I have noticed, they prefer short hair anyway, at least mine does.

Posted by: Testman

Since then I have uploaded my pics to Khersongirls.com and have so many women writing me, I don't know what to do. They write to me first, in almost all cases.

BTW, I shave my head. How can you have shorter hair than that?

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

Since then I have uploaded my pics to Khersongirls.com and have so many women writing me, I don't know what to do. They write to me first, in almost all cases.

BTW, I shave my head. How can you have shorter hair than that?

You know, you should put that in your profile, make it sound like you are a walking mirror so your lady can check her make up anytime she wants to. Sounds like a "plus" to me. Just read all that you can here about others experiences and just start weeding out the girls that start to raise "Red Flags" in your eyes. Good luck in your search, this place is a wealth of information in this area.

Posted by: Testman

Quote:

Originally Posted by HFiske

thanks for all of the advice. i have since purchased the gold package and have had 3 ladies correspond with me.

I wonder if Elena's Models has expanded their service in Russia. Because I go from having no positive expression of interest and no returned e-mails, to having two women write to me first, all in only in three days, and both are from the same city, Tomsk, Russian Federation. One is 21, very attractive.

Posted by: Testman

Thanks, maybe you're right. I know American women find it very attractive, no hair on the head, but with a beard. They tell me I look like a GI Joe character. lol

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

Most of the women on there that I have seen are from Russia. The one I am talking to and am going to meet in March is in Omsk.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

Thanks, maybe you're right. I know American women find it very attractive, no hair on the head, but with a beard. They tell me I look like a GI Joe character. lol

And no "Bad hair day"! Thats why I keep mine short, easy to care for and the women seem to like it.

Posted by: Testman

I'm going to Kharkov, Ukraine this month. Will be my first trip. I've been reading this forum like a mad-man. LOL Trying to stand on the shoulders of experience. Is it against the rules to post her pic here?

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Nope, post away but you should ask her first. Many FSU do not like their photo displayed.