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Telling Family and friends?
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Posted by: Big wheel

Just wandering how the some of you broke the word that you have a girlfriend that is from the FSU? And how did they reacted to the news.

Half of my family and some of my friends knows about Sveta.
ie...the one i talk with at least once a week

Thanks
Dave
7 days left till interverw

Posted by: Big wheel

The way that my family and friends found out. I told some of them that i was going to Ukraine. They ask why, and i told them. word of mouth from there.

Posted by: j_c

I told my family and friends after meeting Irina.

A lot of them seemed genuinley happy, some of my friends did not quite get why I went for someone from russia , and I'm sure there was a lot of talk behind my back at work, ie the room would go quiet when you walked in.....

But I would have to say that when she finally came over to the UK and met my friends and family , also some of my work colleagues, that things where very positive once they had met and spoken to her in person!!

I still get the strange looks now when you are introduced to new people, and they ask where your wife is from , and how you met......I think this it is still a bit hard some people to believe that you met someone through the internet , let alone someone from russia through the internet.

JC

Posted by: joelunchbox

What gets to me is that many people will throw the "she just wants a greencard" thing at you without actually talking to you or asking you about it. My father is a never ending source of eye rolling for me. What is funny, is that I know that when she and her daughter get here, he will take to them like...a .....oh well, he will really like them. He has gotten somewhat better recently though. In short, you will find out who really cares about you--people that ask intelligent questions, let you bounce your ideas and worries off them and are non-judgemental.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I didn't tell anybody until I was married in Russia. I figured all would be well after a wedding . . . NOT! She divorced me before she arrived and nevered signed a K-3.

My advise is say nothing until your lady is in your country, with you for at least a week, if not married engaged, and getting along.

Posted by: Big wheel

Quote:

Originally Posted by joelunchbox

What gets to me is that many people will throw the "she just wants a greencard" thing at you without actually talking to you or asking you about it. .

That's why only a few people know. My grandmother is very open with this and she does not like this idea, her mother was from Hungry so maybe something from her past.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

My advise is say nothing until your lady is in your country, with you for at least a week, if not married engaged, and getting along.

I'm the proud parent of a 16 year old daughter and she stayed with my mom when i went to Ukraine and thats why half of the family knows. As for the rest I have been thinking about telling them after a few weeks or having a little party for her to meet some of the family. or something

Posted by: dagpop

It is good you told your child.I told my children first.It will affect their lives the greatest.They need to be confortable with the possibly having a new person in their life.

Posted by: Rockyof Florida

I just came right out and told family, friends and co-workers. Half of my family are supportive and the other half skeptical. Friends are screaming "all she wants is a Green Card". Co-workers have great gossip to spread around the agency. As for me, it is noone's business what I do, it is my life. I know once she is here, people will come around.

Rocky

Posted by: Spakoyna

I discussed meeting my wife in great detail with my mother before we even met. All my friends and family had seen a picture of my wife and knew about her before my 1st trip to see her. Nothing but support from my friends and family!

Posted by: vic2012

I have to admit that my brothers and sister were sceptical (not my mum though). In fact my sister tried to warn me off. Unless you have actually done it, no one can understand what you go through.

There's always going to be a proportion of RW who simply want a way out and will live with someone for a couple of years just to make it happen and then push off. And, as happy US/RW partnerships are not newsworthy, family members will equate all Russian girl friends with the ones they do hear about... the heartbreakers and scammers.

In my case, I'm pleased to say that, now they have met her, my family have been very pleasantly surprised.

Posted by: Leprechaun

I was similar to most, met with strange looks.

Ill never be rid of the "where did you meet" questions but I think the more positive you come across with "on the Internet, isnt that cool" with a big smile on your face the more acceptle people are. the internet dating taboo is fading slowly.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Yes Lep you are correct bothe times. If your woman specks with an accent the first question is usually, "What country is she from? or How did you meet"?

The Internet is becoming THE way to meet a spouse ... at least in the US. My neice and step sister both met their spouses on-line.

Posted by: Big wheel

As time get ever closer I been finding out that my daughter has told her mom and aunt. it was kind of meant with a little sarcasm. But for the time its going alright.

Lep. i do tell about her and any updates with a smile on my face. For me I do look at this in a huge way. I am proud that soon I will have a wife that i can trust and work so hard at the relationship. I am happy. I never been marred before and never really talk about it with any GF i had before. And I had a few long term relationship lasting up to 5 or 6 years.

I really don't know why I am so warred about this. I do live in the Detroit area and its one of the biggest mixes of people from around the world.

I was 1 of 3 white boys that grown up in my area, I have seen a lot a hatred toured me and I just hope she don't see that much of it. i know she will, I know her son will. What can I do beside being there for them.

sorry for rambling on

Posted by: Jerico

Ya I always get the where did you meet? Wheres she from? Questions.
I just tell anybody, I dont care.
Most single guys I know havent the balls to do what i did ( ie: go to a foreign country to meet a woman by myself )
Some think its cool but I do get the "shes here for the green card"speech.

Ya these guys are telling me about green cards when there on their third marriages. Experts in the field of green card brides. Just ask them . They have never traveled outside the USA but hey they seen the documentarys on the subject and have become experts in the field of foreign women, hehe.

I do just say we met on the internet and I went to visit her. Actually more women think its cool then the men.

When people meet my wife then they realize why i went to Russia. The next question is always " does she have any friends?"
I lot of guys I talked to at work and just around really are feed up with American woman for whatever reason. Not that I am bashing them but i wanted a drastic change and i got it, hehhe.
My big thing is that I am in fairly good shape and I wanted a thin woman with no children period!!! Call that as you want to but that was important to me.This was impossible to find in California at least for me. In Russia this was easily accomplised.

A few coworkers now have actually went to the Ukraine to meet women and now know what I was talking about ( the beautiful women there ) . Now they know. Actually one guy is in Russia as we speak and i am hoping everything went good for him but you never know. My story gave these guys the will to seek a women in Russia as I did, Hehhe.They took the same gamble I did and I think thats cool !!!!!

Jerry

Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerico

I do just say we met on the internet and I went to visit her. Actually more women think its cool then the men.

. Actually, in my case, it's a mixed deal. Some women think it's cool. Others feel a bit insulted, as in "can't you find a good girl here?. (Well, do you know anybody good here?) And one co-worker says, "at least she's not from Thailand", making a reference to three other guys that have Thai wives.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerico

When people meet my wife then they realize why i went to Russia. The next question is always " does she have any friends?"

Unfortunately, I know a couple of guys that I know, and want to go there, happen to have interest in sex tourism.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerico

I lot of guys I talked to at work and just around really are feed up with American woman for whatever reason. Not that I am bashing them but i wanted a drastic change and i got it, hehhe.

Many "average" type of American women are overly picky, for no reason. But
my biggest pet peeve is women flaking out on you. The cancellation and no-show rate for women in the FSU on dates is radically different than the US.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerico

My big thing is that I am in fairly good shape and I wanted a thin woman with no children period!!! Call that as you want to but that was important to me.This was impossible to find in California at least for me. In Russia this was easily accomplised.

Actually, in L.A. and San Diego, they are easy to find, but not so much in the rest of the state. The question is finding one that is not snobbish, or a total air-head. THAT is hard to find.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big wheel

I was 1 of 3 white boys that grown up in my area, I have seen a lot a hatred toured me and I just hope she don't see that much of it.

Sounds like you need to move a little west, toward my part of Michigan. Our future wives could be friends and their sons could meet.

Posted by: deccie

I told a select number of close friends and family what I was doing very early on and then as things advanced I just increased that number until eventually I told anyone who cared to listen.

There was one guy at my old workplace who was cynical about the whole thing - but he held his tongue when talking to me. However I can bet when I was out of earshot he would have been bagging the idea.

However, I'm now in the Middle East for work so we are ALL immigrants here and temporary residents at that so the idea of having a wife from another country has no baggage to it whatsoever.

Posted by: truckerguy

I told my brother first, since we are very close. Then it was my mother and finally my father. There were a lot of questions, but they accept my decision to do this. There are several people in my extended family who live overseas and also have foreign spouses. So most of the family is interested in what i am doing. My friends are also pretty cool about it, so i get a lot of support all around.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Deccie - you are in Dubai right?

Posted by: deccie

No Easy, but very close by. I'm in Oman. Only 1 hour away by plane.

Posted by: freebird

I told my parents when I came back from Ukraine. They were a little sceptical but supportive.