Russian marriage, Western life, and the pursuit of happiness... - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Russian marriage, Western life, and the pursuit of happiness...
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Posted by: Khashyar

Belarusian museums......

Walking in the central square park in downtown Mogilev where young people meet and where young men park their cars, stand next to their open car door and play loud music from their stereos ...

I felt like I was in High School again

Are young people making love a lot in Belarus and Russia? I wonder how easy it is for young people to go on dates and have private intimate moments together? Young people often go out in groups, and it seems difficult for young people to meet at their parents' house for a romantic interlude since young people almost always live with their parents until even after they are married...

So... how is the romantic social life of young Russian people?

What are the odds of a young Russian couple staying married?

Why is there so much talk, and complaining, by Russian women that Russian marriages (and Russian men) are not good?

Perhaps the conditions are often not positive for a strong marriage in Russia... Young people often live with their extended families, so not only do you marry your spouse, you have to also endure a long and close relationship with your spouse's parents as well...

And then there is the added financial burder of life in Belarus and Russia... Both spouses must work hard to make a living. And it is not hard to imagine that when life feels stressful and tiring, and your job is not that satisfying (especially when you know that workers in other countries are making 10 times more than you are as well as have a higher standard of living), it might make more sense that Russian husbands (and even wives) find some way to bring something interesting into their lives through drinking, infidelity or other diversions to their suffering and boredom and lack of happiness...

They just don't realize that life can also be stessful in the West since a high standard of living requires a long work week (in America, at least), and also other different pressures from the expectations of our society.

Somehow, whether someone lives in Russia or London or Chicago, they must find what satisfies them in their life... what they they put their life attention towards to help them get as much out of life as possible.

Many Russian people put this fulfilling attention towards their families. It is admirable that even though most Russians live a hard life, they still are able to put their devotion into their families and good friends.

In the U.S., we sometimes seek enjoyment from purchasing the newest technology (computer equipment, car, etc.) , eating out... or sometimes some Americans are uncertain as to what will make them happy and they are searching.

Will that be a Russian wife?

Not even a beautiful and intelligent and charming Russian wife can make us feel satisfied if we have not already found what is meaningful in our lives... A Russian wife (or Western husband), (or, for some of us, Russian husband and Western wife)

, can only compliment the happiness that we have already created for ourselves.

It is an even more disillusioning experience when we have received something that we have strived so hard for (like bringing our fiance to America to begin our blissful married life together) and feel that it is a source of great happiness for us, only to find that although it is wonderful to have that person or thing in our life, that what is most important is what WE do in our lives-- what we live for, and how we live...

I still don't believe that a Russian wife will make anyone happy in and of itself. I believe that if a person is not happy or satisfied, that it is better to reflect upon what is the fundamental reason why you are unhappy, and then a wife or a husband will just compliment an already existing happiness...

Khashyar

Posted by: klawsite

Khashyar,

Your points at the end are very true. I will add, how can anyone truely love someone else if they do not love theirself first. It goes hand and hand with being happy with ones life. My oldest brother had a very loving wife, he had a good job and a nice house. But he was never happy. He drank a lot and always had something that made him upset. Needless to say, the marriage didn't last and it was my brother who ended it. He then found another woman, had a daughter and another nice house and it ended in divorce as well. If you are not happy with yourself, how can you truely be happy with someone else?
Only when you are happy with your life and love yourself will you be ready to fully share your life with someone else!!

-Kevin

Posted by: andrei

about young couples

I guess less than a half married young couples in Russia have their own places to stay. Others rent a flat (like I do) or live with their parents. Sometimes you have the couple, his and her parents, and a baby all packed in two rooms (both the size of an American bathroom).

I recall when I was a teen we would gather like 10 people in one flat for a party, and when it was time to have sex, half of us were doing it while others were all packed in the kitchen smoking and telling jokes. I remember me and my first girlfriend were able to have sex in like 10 minutes (the time that took her Mom to walk the dog)))). Later, when I got my driver's license, we would take a ride on a car into the forest and have some fun there too, because in summer the weather in Siberia is hot just like in LA. Sex in a car is acrobatics))) Then we would rent a room in a hotel for a single night or just beg our pals to give the keys to their flat for a night.

Only 3 years ago my then-girlfriend started renting a flat (she lived with her sister) that was just acroos the road from me. And this summer, when I became single again, I started renting my own flat.

Posted by: Khashyar

Yes, I agree Kevin...

I think that many people seek something from the outside to make them happy, instead of addressing the inner reasons or causes for their unhappiness...

Andrei... Thank you for writing your experiences of growing up young in Russia

It's interesting to read how young single life is in your country....

I think that some teenagers in America have a similar experience, but when young Americans go to university, they tend to live in a dorm room or apartment away from home, and get to experience a great deal of freedom...

Thanks again for everyone's feedback...

Khashyar