New To The Board (American women engaged/ married to Russian men) - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

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New To The Board (American women engaged/ married to Russian men)
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Posted by: Lenochka

Someone told me about the Russian Meeting Place board today and I immediately joined as a member. I am an American girl engaged to an Ukrainian national and I hope some of you will be able to give me some advice on how we can speed up the process of our marriage. I'm looking forward to meeting the other board members and joining in on the discussions.

Posted by: Vyesna

Welcome Lenochka. Nice to see another AW here- we're not welcome on most boards dealing with relationships with Russians. Our types of relationships aren't plausible, you see.

There's no way probably you can speed the process, but there's already a lot of threads here about either going through the fiance visa process or getting married over there, so I would start there to figure out what to do. We got married there and everything went very quickly, but that was in 1998 and apparently times have changed.

Good luck!

Posted by: myshka

I am also an American woman who is married to a Russian man. We were married 5 years ago, and he came here on the K1 visa (fiancee) but things have changed very much since then, as Vyesna stated. But feel free to ask us anything on your mind.

Posted by: Kalexandra

Hi Lenochka--It's great to see another woman on here!

I'm another AW on the board married to a Russian man. We are currently working on his visa (K-3) and currently our application is at the NVC. I lived in Russia with him for 2 years, and so we weren't really concerned with how long the visa process took because we were together and loved living over there. So, we weren't rushing to do the application or anything, but last month I moved back here to get back into school, and the wait and time apart is KILLING both of us!! Anyway, I wouldn't say that the process can be sped up

Along these lines....I have a question for Vyesna or Myshka...My husband will be graduating in February (we hope to have his visa in late March) which means that the Russian army will be waiting for him--Do you know if he will have problems getting out of Russia because he is supposed to be in the army? If he were to stay in Russia he would buy a paper to get out of the army, but that is pretty complicated and expensive to get, and is only good for 2 or 3 years. (My mother in law suggested having a baby which would also get him out for 2 years

) An immigration lawyer told us there will be no problems on the American side but he had no clue about Russia. We have traveled to other countries together and he had no problems at passport control, but he was still enrolled at his university when we went. Did you have problems with this, or know anything about it (ie draft age men immigrating from Russia? )

Posted by: myshka

Well, unfortunately he is in Russia right now visiting, so I cant ask him however: I do know that he was of draftable age but because of going to university he was somehow exempt as far as I know. I know he wasnt worried about it when he left Russia but was when he returned for visits. Now the point is moot because he is above the age though. When he returns home I will ask him and let you know how it worked.
Good Luck!

Posted by: Vyesna

Sorry I can't help because my husband actually served in the Soviet Army in 1987-89 and he was 30 when we got married so I don't think he would have had to worry about it anyway at that point. I don't think you need any exit papers to leave on a fiance visa, but I don't know. I would then strongly recommend not getting married over there because I'm pretty sure you have to show your "военный билет" I'm pretty sure it's called, which sets forth your record of service to ЗАГС in order to get married there.

Posted by: Vyesna

Ooops, just re read your post and realized you are already married. Did this question not come up when you went through the process at ЗАГС? I guess I might see if he can't find a lawyer there to answer his question. I don't think Russian lawyers are that expensive and they could probably advise on the best way to make sure he's not caught up. The other option might be to try and leave the country sooner if you have enough money-- maybe he could live in a different ex-Soviet country for a few months while waiting for the K-3 visa process to go through. You know, I didn't do the K-3-- is that when you get married there but file the papers in the States? We filed the papers in Russia and it was much faster-- it only took a month for him to get an interview and when he arrived in the States he received his green card automatically.

Where did you guys live in Russia? I lived there for a year, we lived together for about 9 months before we got married. Do you speak Russian?

Posted by: Kalexandra

Thanks for the replies--Igor (my husband) is currently exempt from the army because of his university too. But, in February he will graduate and is supposed to report to the army on April 6th (which he won't be doing). Anyway, I will ask him to go talk to a Russian lawyer--that seems like the best course of action at this point. We eventually would like to live in Russia, so we don't need any problems with his army documents.

Yeah, with the K-3 we married in Russia but we filed our papers in America. I wonder if it's still possible to file in Moscow--wish I had done that ! By the way, at ZAGS, the army thing did come up, but he just had to prove that he was registered with the army, since he was still enrolled at his university he wasn't required to serve at that point.

We lived in Obninsk for my first year there, have you heard of it? It is a formerly closed city that has like the first nuclear power plant, about 60 miles from Moscow. Igor attends the University of Atomic Energy in that town. This past year we moved to Moscow and my husband is still there. And yes, I do speak Russian. I didn't know any before I left (I met Igor when I was 15--he lived with my family as a foreign exchange student for a year here in MInnesota and my family visited his family 4 years later in Russia which is when we fell in love and I decided to move there

)

If I remember right, you lived in St. Petersburg? I absolutely LOVE it there. My sister in law lives in Peter and so we were there alot. How do you keep from losing your Russian while you are living in the States? Do you and your husband speak Russian with each other?

Posted by: Vyesna

See if you can't file in Moscow instead by pulling your application here. But call the Moscow embassy first and see if they can advise you whether that would be faster and if the INS will be okay with it. I don't think they care, because all it does is transfer the burden of the initial interview to the State Department. We filed in Russia because the American consulate in Petersburg told me that if we did the fiance visa or filed in the States, it could take a year. But, if we organized everything and filed in Moscow, it would take a month (and so it did).

My husband and I speak mostly Russian with each other. Sometimes we have sentences that are half English and half Russian. Truth be told, his English is sort of stalled at mid level and he doesn't try that hard to improve it (and I try pretty hard to improve my Russian), so there you are. Even when I talk to him in English he frequently answers in Russian-- on the one hand, it concerns me that if something happens to me, he's going to be worse off for not knowing English extremely well but on the other, he's a big boy and can make his own decisions and I really prefer to speak Russian at home anyway. Also, we just had a baby and both of us want him to speak Russian as well as possible, so living in the States, that means it has to be Russian all the time at home for him just to speak somewhat decently, plus yearly trips back to Russia. I also keep up by participating in a Russian women's forum (very helpful for improving vocabulary and writing skills) and reading Russian literature during my commute.

Posted by: D in KS

Just wanted to say it is so nice to hear from women who are on the other side of the usual equation for this forum. American women connected to Russian men. It puts a whole new light on things. Kalexandra's story of meeting her husband is great. I would like to know how others of you met your husbands, if you want to share that info. Debbie

Posted by: Vyesna

Hi Debbie. I'm sort of surprised there's so many of us! Considering what terrible wives AW are and terrible husbands RM are !

But at least we won't have to hear about that under this topic.

There was another girl too, Jessica, who met her husband while they were both working in Taiwan. She's in her first year of law school though, so I understand why she doesn't participate anymore.

I met my husband while I was teaching English in a suburb of St Petersburg. He came up to me while I was standing outside the train station. I was trying to figure out whether I should try to get a car (I spoke very little Russian then so I wasn't sure I wanted to do that) or walk home (which at that point I hadn't done yet from the station), since the buses appeared to have stopped running. At first I was annoyed, but he was so hilarious that he started to grow on me.

Posted by: Khashyar

Welcome to the Russian Meeting Place forums, all of you

Lena and I have always wanted our website and forums to be a hospitable place for men and women, Russians and Westerners, so...

We appreciate that you are sharing your views and perspectives as women... so that you can learn from one another, and so that others can learn from you.

Welcome, again...

Khashyar

Posted by: myshka

The question was asked how did we meet our husbands: In short I met mine completely coincidentally online. Fate, I tell ya, Fate!
I am an old time geek when most of you were in diapers

and we met, he came here for a visit, went back home, then returned on the K1 visa and we married. Lucky for us but sorry for the guys now: we got our K1 visa in about 3 months total from start to his arrival here. things have changed now, I know, as far as timelines.

Posted by: mila

Now someone receive the visa during 3 months as well. It depends on INS. Vermont INS is fastest, Texas and Nebraska is the slowest

Posted by: myshka

Mila, ours was 6 years ago and 3 months was longer than most waits at the time! We had an RFE (when you had to provide INS with more info because they didnt understand something) and most of the people we knew were getting the visa in weeks!
We went thru Nebraska btw.

Posted by: mila

Certainly with RFE, three months are very quickly! I agree, 6 years back there was different situation. We are waiting five months without RFE, Nebraska.

Posted by: Kalexandra

Debbie,

Maybe it's time we introduced you to some Russian men --my husband has a brother

Posted by: D in KS

Thanks, Kalexandra. I will definitely make and save a note about your brother in law. Right now I trying to recover from the last man that "loved" me. I seem to have very bad luck with American men, so perhaps like the guys in the forum I should look in another country

I have found a lot of comfort, wise words and great people on this forum. So glad that this is the first forum I found

Debbie

Posted by: andrei

Quote:

Originally posted by D in KS
I seem to have very bad luck with American men, so perhaps like the guys in the forum I should look in another country Debbie

woah

looks like i have a great chance

dont wait any longer Debbie

Posted by: mila

Yes, Debbie try. Who knows, maybe it is your destiny

Posted by: Vyesna

Actually, a Russian woman I know who baby sits for a Russian family we know asked me if I had any American girlfriends who would be interested in getting to know her brother. I said probably not b/c all of mine are either already with someone or would not be interested. He's in his early 40s, apparently. I'm not sure where he lives-- either Moscow or Samara.

Posted by: mila

Vyesna,
Maybe you know a American man, who would like to get acquainted with the Russian girl?
I have the friend and she unsuccessfully tries to find someone on site.

Posted by: Vyesna

No, sorry. All the American/British men I know are either taken or would not be interested in internet/MOB type of relationships.

In fact, the only men I really know who are free are Russian men living in America who are either not legal or are in the process of getting legalized-- if she would be interested in Russian guys who will probably get their green cards soon, well maybe. But I don't think those guys are interested in internet dating either and they're both under 35 and don't have a lot of money.

Posted by: Jill

Wow!!!!!!!!!! I'm not the only one!!!!!!!!!!

I'm an American woman married to a Ukrainian man.

Just wanted to post a reply to the original question about the visa process. If your husband is Ukrainian, you should definitely go the dcf route--BY FAR the quickest and easiest from what I've learned. Some embassies have a 6 month in country requirement for the American spouse, but in some cases this is waived.

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

Nice to see another AW here- we're not welcome on most boards dealing with relationships with Russians. Our types of relationships aren't plausible, you see.

That's not necessarily true. I visit G7 quite frequently and, in general, get along very well with the guys there. And, hey, I figure someone's got to enlighten them (as well as defend our gender/nationality). It's all in your attitude.

Posted by: Vyesna

Jill

I would be interested in talking to you off list. I don't post here anymore generally.

Please email me at rybatskoye@mail.ru if you are interested.

Many thanks.

Posted by: D in KS

Jill, would you mind telling us how you met your husband? Everyones stories are so interesting, at least to me

Debbie

Posted by: Jill

Hi D in KS,

I guess there's not too much of a story: we met over a local webiste chat. We wrote back and forth for a while and, as we both live in Kyiv, we eventually decided to get together for drinks.

A year and a half later here we are. Now married, still in Kyiv.

Posted by: D in KS

Were you working in Kyiv? I am so nosey

Debbie

Posted by: Jill

Yup, and still do. Feel free to be nosey. Makes things more interesting

Posted by: Arnold

Quote:

Original geschrieben von Vyesna
Jill
I don't post here anymore generally.

But I enjoy your postings very much... may I ask why you don't post anymore?

I just wanted to tell all of you that I found this thread very refreshing and informative. I really miss reading your posts and I would like it very much if you would not be intimidated by a few bullies who try to dominate the board.

Often times I don't feel welcome either, but I just hang in there in the hope you guys place some sensible comments.

Hope to read some more from you guys soon, Arnold

Posted by: imightbeafool

how i met my husband:
the guy i work with used to have "game night" every tuesday (we would drink and play monopoly or just drink!) and i went and arsen(my husband) was there and i looked at him and thought "who is that?? i want to talk to him!" and so he went outside to have a cigarette and i followed him and said i needed a cigarette too, and we talked. i found out he needed a place to live, and i needed a roomate, so i got his number. my friend kelly was seeing his roomate, so the next night i ended up at arsen's house with my friend kelly. we drank too much and i slept on the couch. (arsen didn't bother me, he's a gentleman). so, the next day, i went to the library to use the computer room, and guess who was there? arsen was on the computer and he asked me if i wanted to come over for lunch...after that, we were dating, and i thought maybe it was a bad idea to live together, but he said it would be fine, and he was right.