Pregnancy: A discussion of possibly bad men or possibly bad women. - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Pregnancy: A discussion of possibly bad men or possibly bad women.
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Posted by: searcher

Hello everyone!

I got this topic from a topic that is on one of the FSU women list.

Here is the story:

A man who is involved with a woman in the FSU receives word that the lady is 3 months pregnant. He was with her for "a little over a week" in October.

There are those who have advised that he immediately rid himself of this woman as she is likely a scammer.

One agency owner mentioned 4 incidents where this happened. Of those, 3 were pregnant by another man and the 4 was mistaken, she was not pregnant.

Now the other arguement is that suppose this is his child, isn't it his duty to be responsible.

I just thought i'd post this and see how everyone here would handle this matter.

What are your thoughts????

Posted by: searcher

Here is my opinion.

I feel that it is morally wrong, irresponsible and not a "manly" thing to do by abandoning this woman.

I would wait for the end of the pregnancy and have test performed.

The least expensive route would be to get a home test and use it yourself.

I am familiar with this as I recently have had some paternity issues from my ex (her own admission, then retraction though I have custody of the kids).

I would take the medical expenses as a loss. I think this is best because 1) you aren't making a life long comittment, you may save the relationship if it is a good one and you would be helping if this is your child, and 2) the medical expenses are minor in comparison to the long term expenses of raising a child.

I understand that things happen and people "have sex" but if you have any doubts in youur mind - don't have sex with the person in question.

Or as is echoed many, many thime "Think with your big head" but just as importantly TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS, YOUR GUT FEELINGS!!!!

Now,
Those who have suggested leaving her have stated primarily that they want to protect themselves financially (they had a lot to lose) and were concerned with ) the long term medical cost of the pregnancy and 2) being legally responsible for the woman and/or child if she were to come here on a K-1 submitted by them. This was a concern as they were using the premise that they later discovered that they were not the biological father.

I understand this but I prefer my ideas (as stated above). I, personally, would feel a moral obligation and a responsibility to the woman and child if I trusted her (and you should if you going to have sex

) but [some] "men are men"...so to speak! and Hindsight is 20/20.

Posted by: ulughbek

I can just imagine the names the woman would use for a man who left her in the lurch in such a situation. Scammer might be rather mild. A paternity test is a reasonable solution.

Posted by: LeoN

A DNA test would be very enlightening.I ve heard that you could do it before the child is born, but i m missing the whole precedure.

Posted by: ulughbek

There are prenatal tests for paternity which are significantly more expensive than postnatal. Might not be available in Russia, however.

Posted by: Jutman

I rather turn it around. if you really are the dad, then how can you not be happy. How can you leave your 'blood'.

The tricky part here is to tell her, that you want to be sure that you are the dad and therefor needs a test. But its a must.

Posted by: Castlestormer

I would be curious to know more information about this situation. For instance, was that the first time they were together? How long has he known her? Why would a guy have unprotected sex with a lady he just met from another country? It's what is NOT said here that intrigues me.

If you dance, you have to pay the band! He had unprotected sex with her so he needs to take care of her until the child arrives. If it's not his...do svidanya!

Me? If I really loved that lady, I would marry her and raise that child like it were mine; even if it wasn't! Orphanages in Russia are filled with beautiful children who are the victims of selfish, materialistic, stupid adults.

Posted by: spamer

This story is way too short.

"One agency owner mentioned 4 incidents where this happened. Of those, 3 were pregnant by another man and the 4 was mistaken, she was not pregnant." This statement would make me look at it as a scam.

There are so many emotions involved here the stress level has to be high. Legally, there is not much either can do to the other. Any father who has gone through this in a custody battle, will have his own idea on what to do.
I'll end this here.