newbie w/fiancee in Uzbekistan - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

Pages: 1

newbie w/fiancee in Uzbekistan
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: ulughbek

Hi,

I wanted to post and say that this site has been really entertaining and informative for me as I have been going through the K-1 process. Thanks to everyone who is bold enough to post.

I am a little bit nervous about writing about myself on the internet, but I wanted to share a little bit of my story before asking any specific questions to the forums.

...

Now there is only waiting, enormous phone bills, and all of the daily struggles that the people on the site talk about. It is a royal pain in the a** to be in love with someone on the other side of the world. I never expected to be involved in any kind of long-distance relationship, let alone with someone in Uzbekistan. But I think it is definitely worth it, because I know that I have found someone more wonderful than I could have ever imagined.

Ulughbek

Posted by: David N.

Ulughbek
What warm and wonderful eyes , I too am a newbie ( to this site ) my fiancee was born and raised in Kazakhstan , she is older ( no I will not tell ) they could be sisters . best of luck to you and yours .
David
ps you are right about being seperated by 11 time zones , it is a royal pain , I try and view it as a test , try is the key word , what phone rates are you ( forced ) to pay ?? , I pay 11 cents a minute to russia , is this cheap ?? .

Posted by: ulughbek

11 cents to Russia sounds good, but rates to Uzbekistan are higher. I have tried various flavors of phone cards from NobelCom, which cost about 20 cents a minute. When I can connect, the voice quality is good, but calls are often dropped and I inevitably end up using my more reliable but more expensive MCI international at 45 cents a minute plus tax, which adds up fast.

...

Posted by: zdrd

Hey Ulughbek,

Nice post....sounds like it will soon come together for you. I see you are from NJ...so am I (origianal from Bergen County but I just move down to Jersey City to be closer to my work in Manhattan). I am also part of the thritysomething crowd (31) but I guess it's not as cool to be a "thirtysomething" as it was when that show was on TV....remember?...anyone remember? I am fairly new to this site also and am going through the process like you (Ulughbek) did/are (your a bit ahead of me and my story starts off a bit differently). Whatever the case, you've inspired me to tell my developing story. I have a feeling that I am going to be a part of this forum for a long time to come. Just for the record (everyone), there are a bunch of classy, wonderful folk on this site. It's nice to meet you all.

I must warn you all that when I start typing I cannot stop (detail oriented) so this post probably will set a new record for lenght but I hope you all will read on.

Anyway here is my story (so far), I have been corresponding with a girl (Anya....11 years my junior) who lives in Lugansk, Ukraine. I know Lugansk gets a really bad rap about all the scammers but I have been very fortunate as I found her by accident really. Never in a million years did I think I would ever go online to meet someone in the US much less someone who is 7 hours ahead of me (literally at all times). She posted one of those free profiles on Date.com and that's where I met her. I have been corresponding with her for almost 3 months now and things are just about as good as they could be (I imagine). For the 1st month or so we were really just penpals, I don't think neither of us were really sure what were doing or what to expect. So we asked each other the usuall questions..."what is your favorite movie"? color? song?.....yada, yada, yada. We exchanged emails/pictures about 3 - 4 times a week and I know it is hard for her since she works 9am - 9pm, 6 days a week. I admit that before meeting her I really did not know much about Eastern Europe, it's culture and way of life. For the first month I thought she was emailing me from home! I only found out that was not the case because I started surfing the internet trying to learn about her country and realized that most people have to go to the internet cafe or through a dating service. Yeah I felt like a real "western" Idiot. So I asked her "Anya where do you email me from"? She said "I go to the internet cafe after work". Of course me being the nostalgic type I saved every email she has sent to me, I thought "no way she emails me after work every day" so I check the time stamp on all the emails and wouldn't know it - most of them came to me between 9 and 10pm. That's when it hit me, I thought to myself "she must like me to go through all this trouble".....by the way gang, I am very nieve, I couldn't win the lottery even if you placed a winning ticket in my hand. Anyway, I thought to myself that this girl has to go through all this trouble to chat with me. Then I started thinking what the cost was to communicate with me at the IC (internet cafe). Of course I asked her...."Anya how much does the IC cost you"? She replied "5 grivnas an hour". Well I did not no what a grivna was so I did a little surfing and found out it is about $1US. To make a long story a little shorter, I did the math and realized that she was spending a hefty amount to communicate with me. OK before I go any further, I am not that nieve, I realized that I must not be the only guy she was communicating with but I was ok with that. With all the scams out there and girls falling in love with WM after 3 letters and wanting $$ for a visa and plane ticket to the US, I was also very cautious but after 6 weeks she asked me for nothing and I felt a bit guilty that she had to spend her grivnas on me (and whoever else) while I typed away to her from the comfort of my own home. So in my next email I asked her if I could help her pay for the IC but to my disbelief she just blew off the question, so I asked her again but she would not get on the topic with me. I knew then she was very special, so in the next email I said "Anya could I have you full name and address so I can send you a Christmas card because, you know, Christmas is in 24 days"..she says "no, your Christmas is in 24 days mine is in 37 days" so I thought what the hell is this girl smoking? Come to find out that Russian Orthodox goes by the "old calendar". Yep I felt like an idiot once again.....I never heard of such a thing. I thought Xmas was Xmas and everyone who celebrated did so on the 25th. So I got her full name and address because she thought I was sending her a card. (I like how the address is written backwards but it really makes more sense if you think about it). So I had her name and address and went online to westernunion.com and sent her $100 for the IC, I figured that would get her about 3 months worth of IC time but in reality I wanted her to have some extra money for the holidays even if things did not further develop betwen us. After that I emailed her and told her to stop by her nearest WU branch with her ID to pick it up.....at the end of the day she was very thankful. I told her she should get her mum and her neice and newphew a nice Xmas gift even if they have to wait the extra 13 days:-) My sweet Anya bought her mum some warm slippers (because the apt is now cold) and her niece and newphew some toys and told them it was from me.....is she a keeper or what? Well it was now about Dec. 17th and after procrastinating I fianally did mail her a Xmas card (I did not tell her). I had read that the Ukraine postal service is sometimes known as "snail mail" but no matter, better later than never (I guess never was a real possibility). So I mailed the card, backwards address and all and hoped for the best. Folks...do you think our stars are aligning.....she got the card on 1/5/04 - two days before RUDOX Xmas! She was so suprised and happy.

So what have I learned in my first 3 months? either I am the biggest sucker in the world or we are off to a fantastic start. What do ya'll think? Here is what the near future holds. I have a bacheola party to go to in Amsterdam in March for 3 days then I was thinking of flying from Amsterdam to Kiev, Borispol - transfer to the local airport in kiev and catch a flight to Lugansk and spend a couple weeks with her. She is all for it.

Now the challenges I/we face down the road.

1) I am not a US citizen: I have lived here for the last 21 years and procrastinated on filing for citizenship (yeah I'm an idiot). This is what is takes to get me to file. All is not lost however, the process takes about a year now so I should be a citizen by early 2005.

2) Remember I told you I was not a citizen? Well my great grandparents immigrated from Portugal to Trindad way back when and I lived there for the first 10 years of my life. These factors of climate and Portuguese/Trinidadian blood have given me nice olive complextion (yeah I'm a stud....as long I think so). However travelling to Ukraine with a nice olive complextion makes me stick out of the crowd like a sore thumb. Not only will I stick out like a sore thumb but I have to go through Ukrainian customs 4 times (2 airports on each leg). I know they are going to give me the anal probe or something. At least if I was staying in Kiev I would only need to go to the airport twice and I would also be in a metropolitan area. For all I know, Anya lives out on a chicken farm where the locals have never seen a studly olive guy before. Then there is the question of family acceptance. So what do ya'll think?

Hey Ulughbek....after all this if I am lucky and everything falls in place maybe we can have a double wedding in the summer of 2004? What do you think?

My apologies to those that felt this post was a little long and boring. I will say that I am happy you all know my story (so far) as it is tough to go through this alone:-)

Cheers!
~D

Posted by: ulughbek

D,

It sounds like a nice situation for you so far. I wish you luck. I don't know how I would have reacted to a pure internet beginning to my relationship - for me a lot was based on what I felt very strongly from meeting her in person first. But there were some strange things that happened later that may be relevant.

...

I would also warn that it takes a while to plan a wedding in the US - it may be longer and more difficult than getting a K1 visa!

Ulughbek

Posted by: zdrd

Ulughbek,

Sounds good... I am sure I will chat with you soon. I will give an update on where I am and how things are.

I forgot to mention in my last post that you should check your long distance calling plan. My plan is through Verizon long distance, I signed on with their long distance plan called "International Choice". There is a flat monthly fee on $4 and a call to the Ukraine is 26 cents per min (28 cents to Uzbekistan), which is actually pretty good considering it is very convinient, clear and no dropped calls. Some of those phone cards you see for 12 or 15 cents a minutes have crazy connection charges and often the clarity is very poor. Talk with your MCI people about a similar plan and if they don't come through, a 5 minute phone call to Verizon will hook you up.

http://www22.verizon.com/ForYourHom...lan_ICPWEST.asp

~D

Posted by: spamer

Look at this phone company. I pay .06 per min. to Moscow. Phone cards are great but you need that phone bill to prove you have been in contact with her and know her.

I've only have used them for a month now, but I have hand no problems with them and the calls are clear.

http://ecare.pngcom.com/corporatesite/

Posted by: klawsite

I use Noble for phone calls to Belarus. Nadya has a cell so I have to by minutes for Belarus Cell. It runs about 18 to 20 cents a minute. I can get about 1.5 hours for $20.

-Kevin

Posted by: ulughbek

The posts here inspired me to hunt again for new phone deals. I discovered MasterBell.com. This gives rates of 13 cents to Uzbekistan, lower to Russia. So far the quality of calls has been good.