anatomy of a doomed MOB marriage - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Part 2: a typical meeting in person. A woman, lets call her Lena,
wants to get married. She is 32 and has a 10 year old child. Ot's hard
to make ends meet. Lena works 8 hourse a day for a small salary.
Spends her evenlings in a small apartment she shares with her son
watching TV or on the phone with her girlfriend. She can't affort
expensive vacations or fancy outfits. But this is not as important,
as the feeling that years are passing her by. There aren't many good
men around, and those who are not so bad are mosly paying attention
on women much younger with no kids. Lena decides to try her luck by
giving her profile to a marriage agency and seeing what hapens. She
takes photos, sends them to the agencies. She wants. She even receives
some replies. But mostly from some trange men with "issues" and
problems. "send me a photo in your underwear" - writes one man, "I
did not reply to you last month because I was being treated for
mental problems" - writes another onen being blunt and open. So
when a third man appears and writes normal letters about how lonely
he is... Lena already starts thinking this is a great opportunity.
She got lucky! Here is THE man. The photos arrive and there is
a normal man on them. Normal but a stranger. Not attractive or
anything. "Don't be so picky", tell her her friends - "he is a
perfectly normal man with a mustage. Has a job. Writes good letters?
What else do you need? If you are planning to be so picky you will
stay alone until retirement!

The arguments are very compelling. Lena understand herself she
shouldn't take such luck for granted.
If I say "No" to
him, when will the "normal" man write to me? And then she hears her
friend tell her that her friend
that married AM last\ year vacationed in Maiami. "That's it!" -
exclaims Lena, ready to marry a
decent man with mustage w/o even looking at
him.

A man comes to visit Lena. The first impression males Lena feel
uneasy. There is something in him, but the man is very different from
his photo. The last hair fell out. He looks 50 even though he
sworw he just turned 43. Upon careful examination Lena realizes he is
also much shorter than he said he was. He loloks 170 cm not 174 like
he said in letters. Lena is disappointed. The groom is pleasant and
smiling, he is happy about everything. He likes the food. "What more
do you need?", - whispers a neighbor." He is a normal man. It's not
like you will bear his children? One child is enough".
"Makes sence" - thinks Lena, and she realizes that a man will be a
father to her son and will support him.

At night a man behaves in a gentelmanly way. He obviously wants her
but doesn't grab her, contains himself. Lena is happy about it. At
the end of the week a man looks at Lena with loving eyes and asks for
her hand in marriage. Lena is in doubt and asks for time to think.
When the man leaves Lena all of a sudden feels sad. Did she miss her
last chance?
Lyuba is waiting for the second year and nobody visits *her*. "If I
refuse I will miss my last chance". "If you dan't want
A groom is calling often and even sends a couple of hundreds of $$
for the trip. All this makes Lena finally decide to say
"Yes". In a month Lena leaves her job, borrows a lot of money to look
presentable abroad, and flies far away to get MARRIED.

AND HERE IT TURNS OUT:
The apartment is tiny. The couch on the foto is in someone else's
apartment. He lives at the edge of a small town and out
of his kitchen window one can see a near by farm. The living room
furniture is about 20 years old. And the groom himself
is not as happy in his own world as he was in Russia. He is not on
vacation. He is at home. And it's very different. Here he
is worried about his problems. He is often in a bad mood. Upon
receiving a new bill he is nervously touching his mustage.
He gets impatient with Lena. He gets annoyed at her son just by
looking at him. Conversations in Russian with lena's son
make him crimson red. He is always imagining they are discussing him.
Lena feels increasingly uneasy, nobody is flying her to Maiami. At
the supermarket she meets his angry stare when she
reaches for a colorful box of cookies. But the real fight happens
when the phone bill arrives end of the month. Lena often
calls home to share her worries with her mom. The life becomes
unbearable but there is no way to return. She is already
married. She left her job, burned her bridges. No, of course it's
possible to come back. But… Lena, are you crazy?! –
a friend is screaming into the phone, - there are no jobs...The water
is turned off. A little boy was raped in school.
Lena calms doen for the time being. But not for long. She looks at
the aging apartment and at a husband whom she is
beginning to hate and tears feel her eyes..

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