I am getting married

Originally Posted by joelunchbox

I just finished posting to another thread that made me take a step back and consider exactly what does it mean (to me at least) to bring someone (and in this case a child also) half way around the world (ten time zones to be exact). I have been to the FSU three times. Each time I flew over there, I made an effort to remember how I felt as I traveled to an unknown country to live among strangers. I think I have internalized that feeling pretty good now. And it doesn't feel good. My last trip over I was sort of in a negative mindset. I went over unprepared-no forms, no studying for what to do for the visa (thank God someone took our picture in front of a landmark!!)...I went over in stupid mode because I didn't want to get hurt...or hurt anyone. I wondered what in the Hey we were going to do for ten days! But when she met me at the airport I knew I was in the right city at the right time and the ten days together flew by. I have wondered why I didn't find Lola a year ago or two or three years ago...I think that those years have made me a better person. And I want to be the best person I can be for her.
Back on thread...When she and her daughter come here maybe this year probably next year...That scares the bejeesus out of me. I am amazed, astounded, flummoxed that someone likes me enough to TRUST me enough to do this. Lola is a smart, strong lady but I can not imagine someone leaving their mother, sister, and other familiy members to be with me. Courage doesn't describe it. Does anyone have a word to describe leaving most everything you own and everyone you know to go to a foreign country to live with someone you know through letters and a couple of visits? Someone has a thread about why we are looking where we are looking...here is my take-pioneer spirit. (funny thing, she was in the Pioneers--you gotta love a girl that can field strip an AK47 ). I am looking for someone with courage....I think. and a sense of humor.
But even though she is a strong person, I know that I have to be many things to her for a while, for the relationship to last. My son says he is okay with it but I will be astounded if there aren't some bruised egos because of my and her decision.
I am just starting the paperwork. This is the easy part, isn't it?

sorry for the rambling...kind of worked up and it is after midnight. thanks for listening.

Originally Posted by joelunchbox

I have been wondering if everyone who is writing/speaking with a foreign person has had a "what did you say????" moment. Mine happened on the third day I was there. I said, "Let's pretend you are in America". I was attempting to ask her if she wanted to continue in her field here (she is an endocrinologist in tashkent). What she heard was, "you think I am pretending to like you so I can go to America". The thing that impressed me at that moment in time was that she didn't get mad. She was interested in what I just said, but she wasn't mad or upset. And, actually, as I heard her reply, I was thinking....she is about to get very angry with me. But, she stayed level headed, we talked and we went forward. By the way, Do Russians "pretend"? or this that not a word that pops up often.