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Internet Dating Scam ?
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Posted by: altusanvrigo

I was a regular member of Dreammates.com for a while, single almost 32 years old and I got an email recently from a 29 years old russian woman. She wrote to me directly and I didn't know that she was on that site until that day. She was lying about her real location mentionning a city in New Hampshire named Auburn.

She wanted to communicate on our personnal emails so she gave me her email address and I wrote back to her at that address from mine.

She wrote back as well in a very long letter that seemed to be fine and she attached two pictures of herself (very very pretty... almost too good to be true) but the pictures seem real, no expensive photographer shots. She told me that she lied about her real location (really?!) and that she was actually living in Russia but that was the only way to be on the American part of the site.

Three things caught my attention and after reading some posts and checking out some websites, I am a little bit worried.

Her email header includes the infamous The Bat program. On the other hand, she's writing to me from a very well known email provider/search engine named rambler.

I googled the final part of the letter and it showed up on a couple of websites and was labelled as being used by scammers, she was saying something like your new friend from Russia, xxxx. It didn't match her full name (first +last) but some of the words from the scam artists in other part of the letter come very close.

She mentionned in the letter that she always wanted to be financially independant and that she sort of succeeded by working hard.

Finally two days after our initial contact on Dreammates her profile was gone.

Her pictures and full name don't appear on any blacklist and nothing shows up if I google her full name.

Last thing I can think of: the email was sent around 9:30 PM Moscow time.

What do you think? Am I corresponding with a scam artist?

She seems very nice and although her English was so so at best, it was interesting and she seems smart. I hope she's for real!

Sorry for the very long post...

Posted by: SouthWestAussie

Hi Alyusanvrigo...From what you have written, this could be a scam...but it is not a certainty.... If you are interested in this woman.... If it was me I would just let things develop and see what happens.... You might find a nice woman here, or you might find a scammer... Her profile may have been taken down by Dreamdates, not her.... The "bat' is no clear indication of a scam either, despite what some say. Just remember it will be your choice to send money...not anyone else's.

Posted by: Manchester

Quote:

It didn't match her full name (first +last) but some of the words from the scam artists in other part of the letter come very close.

Names are fungible. E-mail addresses are fungible. Photos are fungible. Yuri can also change the odd word. Yuri has google too.

Get the IP number and trace it at dnsstuff.com , then if that checksout ask for her telephone number.

My senses say Hairy Boris/Fat Yuri.

Posted by: cedarwind

It is a scam

1. She lied about the country she lived in, always ends up a scam

2. Her profile was gone very fast. Good sign it is a scam

3. The Bat! also a good sign it is a scam

4. She contacted you first on a non russian dating site , Also a red flag

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

Originally Posted by cedarwind

It is a scam

1. She lied about the country she lived in, always ends up a scam

2. Her profile was gone very fast. Good sign it is a scam

3. The Bat! also a good sign it is a scam

4. She contacted you first on a non russian dating site , Also a red flag

Sometimes I feel really happy that my bf had no idea about all this stuff. And I feel even more happy that I had no idea about all these red flag issues. Otherwise we would have spent months suspecting each other of scam instead of enjoying life

1. I actually lied about the country I lived in. To be more exact, I wrote I lived in the UK (it was true at the moment) but said that my home country is Russia in my first email

2. I deleted my profile very soon. First of all, I got around 80 emails from guys during first three days on a dating site and didn't know what to do with them. Secondly, I paid for this service and I didn't want to pay for one more month

3. Not my case but don't know what's wrong with the Bat. Many people use it

4. I didn't contact him first but it was a non-russian dating site. I would have never ever placed a pic on bride.ru to become a part of this flesh trade fair.... No way!

Of course, there are hundreds of very good Russian girls who live in small towns and are not familiar with internet, they go to local marriage agencies or sites like bride.ru because they have no idea what to start with. I wouldn't like to blame them at all. I just want to say that many normal girls prefer non-Russian dating sites for communication.

Just my twopence to that.

Posted by: Leprechaun

are there any spelling errors in her mails?

google them short sentences with a few mistakes.

Posted by: Jerico

This is a scam. Let get serious here.
Anybody who has been through this process has received a letter from one of these quote ( girls). American dating site ,they contact you , thier email changes all the time, give me a break. SCAM

Quote:

I would have never ever placed a pic on bride.ru to become a part of this flesh trade fair.... No way!

I suppose the dating site you were on was not a flesh fair? Such as yahoo, match,or any other one? Also if you meet in one of those chat rooms it is similar to dating sites as well.IMO
There all flesh fairs IMHO.
Your basically selling yourself to others in hopes of getting some responses from someone of interest.
Anything wrong with this? NO IMHO.
Putting a listing on a website ( Russian or English ) is just another tool to meet people plain and simple.
I think these women are smart to post themselves at any site.

Why settle for the typical ( whats around my neighborhood attitude ) when you have a great tool which you may meet the girl or guy of your dreams in another country and in the comfort of your own home or int. cafe?

My 2 pennys worth
Jerry

Posted by: AkMike

The program "The Bat" isn't a red flag. It's a program that allows you to download email then go off line and respond while offlione then quickly go online to send iot. Remember that they get charged by the minute of useage, It can be expensive to them.
ERambler isn't a red flag either. Tanya still uses mail.ru and an account at rambler for a skype address. It is all in russian so it's alot easier for her to use rather than our local ISP.
It's to her favor that she told you about the russian connection up front and in the first letter. Before I met Tanya I looked thru ALOT of sites based in the US for russian ladies and many were dedicated only to the women of the US or N. America.
Keep your guard up some but I didn't see any serious red flags at this point. BUT Hairy Yuri could still be behind it all. Just remember to NEVER send money to someone you've never met face to face no matter what. Don't get your emotions involved either.

Posted by: altusanvrigo

Ok first of all thanks to all of you for all the comments and suggestions.

I am still not sure about my Russian lady but I did follow some of your ideas:

1) I've checked the ISP and it is located in Moscow Russia. She didn't tell me her exact location yet but I wrote her back and I asked, we'll see what she (or he!) has to say. I'm definetely thinking about asking for a phone number.

2) I tried googling some of her mistakes on her letter but only part of one short sentence got a couple of hits and one of them wasn't relevant. Nothing good or bad there...really...

I've noted Seaview's opinion and it's interesting to get a Russian girl's point of view as well. Thanks.

I've also noted the most pessimistic opinions but I guess I'm curious to see if it is a scam when and how it is going to come up and if it isn't then all the better!

Posted by: Jerico

Hey I hope shes real for you too!
All i am saying is that most of us already went through this.
Its easy to come up with excuses to keep the dream alive that she is REAL but most russian girls that contact you on American websites are scammers,period.
I am also talking from experience.
Of course this has happened to me also but i never sent a dime.

You have to pay for your profile on yahoo ( female or male ) or the website your talking about probably also.
First they wouldn`t have the time or money to pay for this IMO
They will advertise themselves on Russian dating sites which usually cost the women nothing to write to the men.Also they know that the men looking on these types of sites are already curious about Russian women. They dont have to lie.

Remember that scammers are pretty good at what they do.
Its your time so I guess you can run it out to the end.
LIke AKMIKE says, Whatever you do no matter what the sob story she says or tells you ,do yourself a favor and dont send money.

You asked for opinions ,
I have to say scam, sorry to say

Ok I am done commenting ,

Posted by: Leprechaun

Well the main thing is that you are aware...

Thats the most important part of knowing wether you are being scammed or not.

Arm yourself with all the Information you can behind scamming,
Stick around the RMP here and youll be alright.

Good luck in your Quest.

and a big WELCOME to the RMP (The luckiest guys in the world club)

Posted by: bushman

I think what Seaview wrote has very valid and thought provoking, an excellent post.
I think when a girl writes to you first, don't be suspicious but be aware. If you are suspicious from the start, then you spend all your time trying to catch her out and that can ruin things.
You will soon see in the following messages, when she doesn't answer your questions whether she is for real or not.
I had never considered the reasons for a girl to close her account and Seaviews comments ring true. Also it shows she is concentrating on you and not looking for other men to write to her.
Lastly I got into this when a girl wrote to me from Siberia on an English site, she wrote long messages every day and her letters were very flowery and romantic and could have been considered to be a scammers letter. At the time I didn't know about scammers, so I went and met her. She was an amazing girl, very lovely, looked after me but unfortunately love did not happen for us.
So all I can say, is give her a chance, until you get to know her you will never know, but remember there are some cardinal rules like, never sending money until after you have met.

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

I suppose the dating site you were on was not a flesh fair?

Nope. I looked through dozens of English girls' pics on that site. They were all natural, normal: tourist pics, party pics, pics taken by friends and so on. No bikinis, low cut dresses, pretentious pseudo-professional postures and "please, marry me" looks.

Quote:

Your basically selling yourself to others in hopes of getting some responses from someone of interest.
Anything wrong with this? NO IMHO.

Nothing wrong with this. But every person "selling him(her)self on a dating site" should have a clear idea "who is a buyer". I knew exactly that a guy I was looking for was not interested in "humble cooking-washing-cleaning machine dreaming about a family and kids since she was six". And I didn't need "prince Charming on a white horse saving me from hardships of FSU life"

As a result, bride.ru customers were not the best buyers for me. Sorry for generalisation.

Quote:

Why settle for the typical ( whats around my neighborhood attitude ) when you have a great tool which you may meet the girl or guy of your dreams in another country and in the comfort of your own home or int. cafe?

It makes sense but it doesn't make me like typical Russian dating sites, anyway.

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

most russian girls that contact you on American websites are scammers

Why? I am not arguing. Just interesting.

Quote:

You have to pay for your profile on yahoo ( female or male ) or the website your talking about probably also. First they wouldn`t have the time or money to pay for this IMO

Why? It was smth like 15-17 GBP to pay and to get loads of responses without interference of any third parties that usually cause delays, mess and actually take money for something you can do mucn better yourself.

Quote:

They will advertise themselves on Russian dating sites which usually cost the women nothing to write to the men.Also they know that the men looking on these types of sites are already curious about Russian women. They dont have to lie.

As I have already mentioned I was set against men "curious about Russian women" from the start because of numerous misconceptions of Russian women promoted by these sites.

Quote:

LIke AKMIKE says, Whatever you do no matter what the sob story she says or tells you ,do yourself a favor and dont send money.

Always true.

Posted by: Texas Proud

First... Seaview..... drop your guy and write to ME.... you sound great...

To OP.... don't go into the scam mode on every little thing that can be one... you will not be happy and might miss a really good woman..

I never thought someone was a scam until I was sure... I always thought it was a real person on the other end... and almost all the time it was.. I think most people that suspect 'Boris' find him in 10 out of every 5 scammers.... yes, you read that right... they put real women in that bucket and only because of 'red flags'...

I will say that I have only found 3 scammers in over 400 women... more than half I write to either don't respond or tell me I am not for them.. many others I say no after a couple of letters.. or they do it... I have found more that want to marry almost any man then the ones that want to scam...

The flag that stood out the most for the three was they seemed not to write to 'me'... just letters that could have gone to anyone, with an occasional mention of me (or not)...

So, continue with her is she interests you... if not, drop her right away and move on...

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

First... Seaview..... drop your guy and write to ME.... you sound great...

You should be grateful to my bf, actually. He saved the world (you included) from the most useless Russian woman.

I found this site trying to figure out what WM think of us to understand my bf better and I think it was very useful. I am really grateful to all people here and RMP creators.

For my part, I would be glad to be of some help (if needed) to any member of RMP. My icq is on the site (private messages are also welcome).

Posted by: eireannach

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerico

...most russian girls that contact you on American websites are scammers,period.

If I may add just a bit...

I've dealt with some scammers a while back and posted about them here (still have the photos they sent posted on Yahoo Photos). The one woman I've met that wasn't a scammer lives in Belarus, and she contacted me first through this site, and that was over two years ago (yes, we are pretty good friends at this point).

Now, it seemed that all of the scammers I dealt with in the past contacted me through Yahoo Personals, which I don't use anymore. Being an I.T. professional, it was pretty easy for me to track the average scammer back to their origin. One in particular wasn't too bright because she sent me photos of herself in her "home town" of Arkanglesk, Russia wearing a tank-top by some trees -- that city is north of the Arctic Circle and is surrounded by tundra: no trees! Also, it usually doesn't get very warm there in the summer. Well, I'd traced the e-mail back to a part of Russia much further south and I eventually said something about it...and she promptly disappeared. :P

All-in-all, though, there are really nice women out there -- it's just rather unfortunate that there are scammers out there as well to muck things up. The folks here run a good site with plenty of good info...and there's been no shortage of people in this forum with good suggestions. Good luck!