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Posted by: Lady

Are Russian men generally shy when they like a woman (if they're sober, of course)?

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Are Russian men generally shy when they like a woman (if they're sober, of course)?

Posted by: Lady

I met a great Russian man online...well here's the story:

I met a man (Russian, of course) he's a musician in a well established band in Russia. I just thought I could help him promote his band in U.S. and in turn he would do me favors for my band because he has a record company...etc. Anyway, I asked him if he lives in moscow and he said
--"Hello, again!

I am living in Kaluga (180 km from Moscow). If once you will arrive to Russia, I shall show you our city and a museum of astronautics.
Sorry for my bad English.

See you, Sheena!"--

I didn't mention anything about meeting him! Then I said that I would like to visit Russia one day and he responded:
--"Hello, Sheena!

Thanks for your interesting messages! Yes, it will be very great to meet with you in Russia! I can show you interesting places here!
By the way, as I read on your band's page, you're planning to move in Europe to search musicians there. Right?

Hope to see your message very soon!"--

Then I said that I want to visit Moscow next year (NOT Kaluga!!!) and he said this:
--"Hello, Sheena!

Great, that you planning to visit Russia and Moscow next year! We can visit together many interesting places and concerts in Moscow!
By the way, tomorrow is the International Women Day. Do you know about this holiday? On this day, every man presents flowers to his woman!

I haven't girl that I love...

Good night, dear Sheena! See you!" --

Then in last message he said:

--"Let me congratulate you with International Women's day! Sad, that I can't present you flowers... But oneday...

See you!!!" --

Am I crazy? It seems that he's interested in me and it does not have anything to do with music! He also asked me if I have a boyfriend...

*I just wonder if you guys think it sounds like he's interested in me???

Posted by: Raka

After reading my crystal ball, your post, this guy is interested in getting to know you better. I'd say he is hoping for more to develope and one day of meeting you.

As they say, the ball is in your court.

Oh, and it's a myth that most FSU men are always drunk. They are some really good men in the FSU just not enough of them for their women.

That's what my wife tells me anyway.

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raka

Oh, and it's a myth that most FSU men are always drunk.

Yes, I can confirm that, - sometimes I am sober!

Posted by: Lady

I know that they are not always drunk, but he was drinking when he wrote some of this stuff to me.

Posted by: Lady

Hey, do you think it's okay if I ask to speak with him on the phone? Or maybe it's too soon???

Posted by: EasyTarget

Maybe you should ask yourself first, is there potential? Or do you strictly want something platonic. If only platonic you need to make sure he understands your preference. And guys are dumb, make sure you really, really spell it out for him.

Posted by: markgm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Hey, do you think it's okay if I ask to speak with him on the phone? Or maybe it's too soon???

Its never to soon to speak on the phone if you have an interest in this person then sooner than later is always better.

Posted by: SouthWestAussie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Hey, do you think it's okay if I ask to speak with him on the phone? Or maybe it's too soon???

If you talk to him on the phone you might find out that there is nothing there. Thus allowing you to move on with other things. As markgm said "it is never too soon"

Posted by: Lady

Good points guys! There is definitely a physical attraction (as we have seen many pics. of eachother) and we have our music careers in common. So far, we've just been messaging eachother back and forth (for about a week now). Things would definitely go much faster over the phone. He told me that he can speak english, but his pronunciation is bad. Let's say that it did work out between him and I though, as I told him, I would'nt be able to go to Russia until next year. But also, I don't know if I feel entirely comfortable with the idea of meeting a strange guy in Russia. I guess I could try to get a friend to come with me...

Posted by: SouthWestAussie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

But also, I don't know if I feel entirely comfortable with the idea of meeting a strange guy in Russia. I guess I could try to get a friend to come with me...

Another suggestion; you could also arrange to meet in a neutral country. Someplace you are comfortable with. If it was me I would be thinking maybe a friend might become an inconvenience if things went well.

Posted by: Lady

Hmmm...I'm confused. He says
"Hello, dear Sheena!

Great to receive your messages! Yes, we can talk by phone, of course!
My birthday - May,7. Will be soon. He-he! What about your birthday?
Great that you composing new songs and lyrics. I'll read your lyrics!
It will interesting, to listen your demo. You can send it on my address:
His Name, his address, Russia
Well, that all for this time. Cheers!"

I closed my previous letter to him with
"Hugs and Kisses,
Sheena"

And he just sends me "cheers?!?" Also, he's not responding to my messages as quickly as he used to even though I know that he's read them (because I'm able to see that). Maybe he isn't interested in me like that...
I kind of just feel like asking him straight out...what do you think?

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Hey Lady. You will see many posts here of guys in exactly the same position. And the answer to their question is usually " just ask her/him"......so go for it girl. Cheers....no pun intended

Posted by: markgm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

I would not read to much between the lines Sheena he has after all given you his date of birth and does look like he wants you to call him.
As most Russian people are straight forward and upfront and dont like beating around the bush just come out and ask him.

PS: There also not big letter writers or dont like to let on to much if they have not met you in person.

Posted by: Thorburn

Lady, talk to him on the phone. Let him know you find him attractive.
Just see what develops. He can't be sure about his feelings for you until he gets to know you more.
Also you have made it clear you can't visit him until next year and a lot of things can happen in a year. He wouldn't be geniune if he was all over you after only a few messages.

Also he can't communicate in casual written English as well as you, so give hiim lots of hints as to how you would like him to express himself. Be more direct than you usually would but of course keep it real.

Posted by: Lady

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your advice! It's real nice of you! I sent him an e-mail asking when he would like me to call him. Should I tell him that I find him attractive while I'm talking to him on the phone? I think maybe I should. I wish that I could meet him sooner, but I really wasn't expecting to start liking a Russian man...lol. BTW, I will start taking Russian classes in 1 week! I'm excited about this!

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your advice! It's real nice of you! I sent him an e-mail asking when he would like me to call him. Should I tell him that I find him attractive while I'm talking to him on the phone? I think maybe I should. I wish that I could meet him sooner, but I really wasn't expecting to start liking a Russian man...lol. BTW, I will start taking Russian classes in 1 week! I'm excited about this!

Yep Lady tell him!! Better you tell him and even if its not mutual you will at least know. Never look back in life and say ...." I WONDER IF"...good luck with it all.

Posted by: markgm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

BTW, I will start taking Russian classes in 1 week! I'm excited about this!

Its a great language to learn not easy but you can say alot more romanticly with this language than english.

Posted by: Raka

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

I'll give you two words of advice:

Go girl!

Posted by: Lady

I have a slight reason to believe that he is not interested in me like that, so today I finally did it! I sent him a message saying the following:
"Dear Sergey!

Look, I have something to say to you. I must be honest. I find you attractive and I want to get to know you more, but I don't think you feel the same. I understand if you don't, but I need to know before I waste my time.

See you! "
/Sheena

So, I'm a little sad that he may not respond the way I hope he would. The truth is that I really like Russian men and culture and I hope to find a Russian man to be with one day. If Sergey doesn't like me, then I would hope to possibly meet someone when I go to Russia as it seems hard to find them online.

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Don't waste your time with him, Lady. There is a 90% chance that he is not the guy you would want to be in a relationship with. If you are interested in Russian men, look for ones who are already in the US. Many of them are good, hardworking, professional people, artists, etc. you might find suitable to spend your life (or part of your life) with. Believe me, they will appreciate you better than a typical russian guy from a little town (and, probably, an alcoholic as well)..

Posted by: Lady

Thank you for your opinion inlove! I'm sure you have some good points. I live in a place that I know has a lot of Russian people because there's even a Russian Orthodox church right down the street from me. It's just that I haven't met any Russians! They are hidden or something...lol.

Posted by: Lady

He responded to my message as follows:

"I was very surprised when I read you second message today! I don't know what you want to say to me, but I can say that I find you attractive too. You're very beautiful girl and interesting interlocutor! And your messages always big pleasure for me!"

I wish I could show his pics. to you guys...lol I'm just going to take things slow with him. I need to find out more about him.

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally Posted by inlove

If you are interested in Russian men, look for ones who are already in the US. Many of them are good, hardworking, professional people

Oh yes, I am the one!

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

He responded to my message as follows:

"I was very surprised when I read you second message today! I don't know what you want to say to me, but I can say that I find you attractive too. You're very beautiful girl and interesting interlocutor! And your messages always big pleasure for me!"

I wish I could show his pics. to you guys...lol I'm just going to take things slow with him. I need to find out more about him.

Hey Lady...yep slow and steady but its a good start. The Russian lessons are a great idea..and try and study up a bit more on the culture and customs of the country. See if you can get a friend interested in going with you...im sure your guy will have plenty of friends and collegues.

I had the pleasure of seeing a great Jazz musician in January in Moscow. You will find the music scene very different to other places...very close knit and many are long time friends form the music conservitoriums and universities....and socilaize together. I loved it. Cheers

Posted by: Lady

Great advice! I will study about the culture and ask him questions about it too. I am also interested in knowing what he thinks about the U.S. and Americans. He has now started to open up to me more, I've noticed. He tells me more personal things about himself than before. I will call him on Thursday...so this will be interesting!

Posted by: markgm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Great advice! I will study about the culture and ask him questions about it too. I am also interested in knowing what he thinks about the U.S. and Americans. He has now started to open up to me more, I've noticed. He tells me more personal things about himself than before. I will call him on Thursday...so this will be interesting!

Ahh good your going to talk on the phone Sheena just take your time and not rush you have quite a few months before you go if you decide to.
Remember there might be a bit of a language barrier there as well dont let this put you off you need to keep your mind pretty open as he would not be a Native English speaker so you might hear some words that to you dont seem right but have a different meaning alltogether.

Cheers

Posted by: Lady

Thanks. I will try to keep this in mind when I speak with him. Honestly, I'm a bit nervous! Fortunately, I don't really have a problem with understanding accents...etc. As I was raised in a very ethnic environment and I even lived in Sweden for 2yrs. He probably sounds cute though! I will most definitely go to Russia next year, whether it's to meet him or just to visit the country. Hey, this is just like Western men meeting Russian women, but revearsed! lol

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Thanks. I will try to keep this in mind when I speak with him. Honestly, I'm a bit nervous! Fortunately, I don't really have a problem with understanding accents...etc. As I was raised in a very ethnic environment and I even lived in Sweden for 2yrs. He probably sounds cute though! I will most definitely go to Russia next year, whether it's to meet him or just to visit the country. Hey, this is just like Western men meeting Russian women, but revearsed! lol

Yes Lady it will be a nice change from the same old boring guys ( joking guys ). So keep us up to date. Bare in mind Russians generaly are a bit standoffish at first till they get to know you. Once they do they are the warmest and most welcoming people you will meet. Cheers

Posted by: Spakoyna

I'm gonna be the devil's advocate here! You need to be just as cautious as the guys! You seem to be infatuated with this guy! You cannot fall in love with a picture or fancy letters! You will never know until you meet. I think you need to cool your jets abit and simply communicate. If he doesn't respond..so be it! I would think if he was hot for you he would be a bit more responsive IMHO. Give him a call...but I would definitly not be overly enthusiastic if it were me. You are the lady and should be pursued....not the pursuer!

Posted by: Lady

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

I'm gonna be the devil's advocate here! You need to be just as cautious as the guys! You seem to be infatuated with this guy! You cannot fall in love with a picture or fancy letters! You will never know until you meet. I think you need to cool your jets abit and simply communicate. If he doesn't respond..so be it! I would think if he was hot for you he would be a bit more responsive IMHO. Give him a call...but I would definitly not be overly enthusiastic if it were me. You are the lady and should be pursued....not the pursuer!

I am definitely being cautious with this guy. As I stated before, I need to get to know him more (i.e. communication). Of course, the meeting will be the ultimate "tell all." Because no matter how he looks in his pics. or his fancy letters, if there is no chemistry between us, there's not. I think he's also being cautious. And what do you mean exactly by "a bit more responsive?"

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

I have been following your posts. It just seems to me like he is trying to get you to chase after him!

Posted by: Lady

Yes, I have been initiating a bit too much of this stuff with him. I'm just going to lay low (still call him, because I said that I would) and not expect too much. It just hit me that he may find me attractive and interesting (like he said), but maybe he's not looking for a "serious relationship"...if you know what I mean! What do you guys think?

Posted by: Lady

I'm just letting everyone know (which I'm sure you already did) that there are some sick men! One of Sergey's friend's e-mailed me the other day asking me if I have a webcam because he wants to see me (I won't go into the details of what he said around it). Well, Sergey keeps some really interesting company! I'm sure that Sergey is not far from this!

P.S. I haven't replied to his last message for a while now and honestly, I want to cut off all communications with this guy.

Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

I'm just letting everyone know (which I'm sure you already did) that there are some sick men! One of Sergey's friend's e-mailed me the other day asking me if I have a webcam because he wants to see me (I won't go into the details of what he said around it). Well, Sergey keeps some really interesting company! I'm sure that Sergey is not far from this!

P.S. I haven't replied to his last message for a while now and honestly, I want to cut off all communications with this guy.

CUT IT OFF! If a guy is egging you on to see you on a cam and do some things that bother you, you allready know to get rid of him. It seems like you allready nothe answer. Good Luck!

Posted by: Spakoyna

It's better that you found out now than later! Good Luck

Posted by: markgm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady

Hi Sheena

Best you find out now it is one reason why i said telephone and talk as it is easy for others to sit behind a computer and pretend to be someone there not.
There are many out there pretending to be something there not both men & Women.
Dont let it dis-appoint you though it pays to be smart cautious, keep your wits about you and take your time and if you do find someone that interests you telephone them as soon as possible to talk even if you both do not speak the same language.

�� Sheena

Posted by: inlove

Lady,
I don't want to go into "I told you so" mode, but please be careful. He comes accross as a very sketchy guy.

Posted by: mistermopar

I just got around to reading this thread and I will agree with inlove...very sketchy guy,be carefull.

Randy