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Would it be okay .....
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Posted by: GoingToRussia

Hello all. As you know I'm "back on the horse" that threw me. I have mixed feelings but I'm dealing with it and proceeding with a visit in April.

I have a question directed toward Russian Women but anyone can answer. I'm hoping Ms. Smarty Pants and Mrs.Waiting will answer.

The woman from Moldolva appears to be scraping by each week with her income. She was sick most of last week but managed to continue working. I think she is afraid that I will be bored because she has suggested leaving her city after a few days of visiting her city.

She doesn't have a microwave so all the cooking will be done on the stove and therefore she will be spending a lot of time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning. She also has a son to cook for. I will of course take her out to restaurants so her cooking will be limited. My question, would it be okay to by a microwave for her? I don't want to offend her and this is why I ask.

She does not have a computer or a DVD player. I know it would be a bit much to buy her a computer but it would save me money in the long run because I call her everyday. If she had a computer, we could use MSN and talk for free. Would it be okay if I bought her a DVD player?

Thanks for your opinions and feedback.

Posted by: waiting123

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Hello all. As you know I'm "back on the horse" that threw me. I have mixed feelings but I'm dealing with it and proceeding with a visit in April.

I have a question directed toward Russian Women but anyone can answer. I'm hoping Ms. Smarty Pants and Mrs.Waiting will answer.

The woman from Moldolva appears to be scraping by each week with her income. She was sick most of last week but managed to continue working. I think she is afraid that I will be bored because she has suggested leaving her city after a few days of visiting her city.

She doesn't have a microwave so all the cooking will be done on the stove and therefore she will be spending a lot of time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning. She also has a son to cook for. I will of course take her out to restaurants so her cooking will be limited. My question, would it be okay to by a microwave for her? I don't want to offend her and this is why I ask.

She does not have a computer or a DVD player. I know it would be a bit much to buy her a computer but it would save me money in the long run because I call her everyday. If she had a computer, we could use MSN and talk for free. Would it be okay if I bought her a DVD player?

Thanks for your opinions and feedback.

MrsWaiting will jump on later and answer your questions....Please send your paypal payment in advance...

Thank you!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Oh, little waiting123 is all grown up ... now he's a BIG monkey!!!

Waiting123, what's your opinion?

Posted by: waiting123

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Oh, little waiting123 is all grown up ... now he's a BIG monkey!!!

Waiting123, what's your opinion?

Yep... I am a big monkey now, but as you can see...I am not listening.

I think you have to be careful.. you do not want it to look as if you are giving her items because you feel sorry for her living conditions. I think that any of the above are ok gifts.

You do not want her to think you are trying to buy her love or come accross as a rich American who can fix any problems.

I know you talk a lot on the phone, but you are talking about giving her fairly expensive gifts.

Posted by: vic2012

I assume you mean to buy it when you are there (being that US micros are 110v and Russian are 220v)

So when you are standing in front of the microwaves in the department store, you can check with her then. You can tell her that, it would make you very happy to see her happy with one!

The little transformer microwaves are not very expensive. So, I cannot see why she would be offended.

If you want to go for an Inverter Microwave, or Combination Microwave (they start at over $200), then, she might start to feel uncomfortable. But you'll have to suck it and see at the time.

Posted by: Zmejka

First i wondered what you can cook in the microwave? Really we never had it in Russia, my parents just bought it not so long ago and only to warm the food, not to cook it - the same i noticed while visiting my brother. I really don't know other purposes of a misrowave - please forgive me my ignorance

first i would suppose that of course she woule want to suprose you with tons of food for your pleasure. But also i would think of the lenght of time you're there - sorry i missed for how long you're planning to go. If it's only days and not even a week i would talk to her and say you would prefer seeing more of her then her cooking skills (that of course also important

) so while you're there you'll take care with her assistance of the shopping. And with you plan to take her to the restaurant indeed she will have to cook just a little bit - i wouldn't get so worried about it, it's a normal routine of life and one meal could be prepared for a couple of days, nothing special in it. She did the same before you came - i think she shouldn't think life will rapidly change to the best in the matter of getting things with your arrival. So i'm against buying that things to her. For the reasons mentioned above - and may be you never see her again. I don't mean that you should buy things only to some you have relationship with (that of course also can happen) but if you feel such a desire to help people in general - send your money to an orphan house instead, they need them more.

If you call her everyday you should already know by now what price is the cheapest. In my opinion it's better you pay that price than you give her money for communication with you. At last you will never know whom else she'll be talking using your computer - but still you you feel such a desire to help people in general... - see my suggestions abouve

The last - i understand the difference in financial situation between countries but again i invite people to think more on the following: the process of finding your special takes sometimes long, one should be ready for it and aknowledge what efforts it will requare. You're going to pay your "price" - she should be willing to invest the same. Apart from this situation - if a woman decides to look abroad for a man but doesn't have a computer at home to do it - so her price is to go to the internet cafe or use the agency and not to hope that one generous foreigner will present it to her, even having best intentions. I hope i could present my thoughts in a right way.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zmejka

First i wondered what you can cook in the microwave? Really we never had it in Russia, my parents just bought it not so long ago and only to warm the food, not to cook it arrival.

If you call her everyday you should already know by now what price is the cheapest. In my opinion it's better you pay that price than you give her money for communication with you. At last you will never know whom else she'll be talking using your computer - but still you you feel such a desire to help people in general... - see my suggestions abouve

Yes to heat food from previous meal, it will save time. Microwave popcorn is good, do you have popcorn for the microwave in Russia?

Good point about finding another guy on the Internet!

Thanks for your thoughts ... very interesting and a good post.

Posted by: Zmejka

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Yes to heat food from previous meal, it will save time. Microwave popcorn is good, do you have popcorn for the microwave in Russia?

As for warming food it's a matter of minutes on a frying pan too that's what we always did and we didn't need a microwave for it. And as for popcorn - i don't consider it to be a substantial meal, i don't think you'll be eating a lot of it during your time there. And besides - may be your lady doesn't like it?

Good luck!

Posted by: ira156

Hey GTR...just my experience. Nat has a Microwave and i didnt see her use it in 3 weeks...not once. The only thing she would use it for is reheating. I did buy her a DVD player when i was there. She now tells me " oh i watched a movie last night" which lets me know she is enjoying it. She also plays cds on it and tells me she bought a new cd or movie. It had been a good gift....i also put some Aussie music cds with it when i gave it too her. Maybe a DvD player with some of your favorite CDs that you think she will also enjoy.

I also got told off for taking her out to eat too often. As she left for work at 7:30 each day ( after making ME breakfast ) and didnt get home till about 8:00 in the evening i thought i was doing the right thing by giving her a rest. She took it as i didnt like her cooking ( as if ) ...it took a lot of explaining but eventually she saw that i was doing it so what time we did have together we used wisely. Good Luck Mate

Posted by: SouthWestAussie

Good Morning GTR.....In my view it all comes back to communication...I know giving to someone special as a surprise is great...But it can also become a shock if the other party thinks you are offering charity....My suggestion would be to keep the 'gift thought' ....When you have been with her and got some understanding of her thinking of these things... Say something such as; I would like to buy you a gift for your hospitality during my stay. I believe put this way will not be offensive...You will soon learn her feelings about your gesture.

" We are all here on earth to help others, what on earth the others are here for, I don't know". W. H. AUDEN

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I'd like to buy her a microwave so we can spend more time together and she wouldn't be cooking everyday. She could warm up leftovers. I'd like to buy a DVD player because I don't want her to think I was bored just sitting there when she is cooking, cleaning, or whatever. I don't mind just sitting there. I sit and think quite often and enjoy it. Lana thought I was bored when I did this even though I said I wasn't. I don't what her to think I'm bored too.

Posted by: Jerico

Well I have to say GTR that I would stay away from the microwave idea.
To me its like buying your wife a hair dryer or mop for her birthday.

My wife probably could use these items but not on her birthday.
Now I know its not her birthday but seeing you havent met yet it might come across in a negative way on a first time visit.

When I traveled to meet women over in Russia we dined in restaurants or cafes for lunch and dinner everyday.
This worked best for me as I didn`t care if she could cook ( which my wife cant by the way

I`m joking , come on ).

I was on vacation and didn`t care of the cost of food and really it wasn`t much. Plus I enjoyed eating and trying new restaurants which were pretty cheap IMHO. i didn`t have to break my wifes fingers either to go out as it was kind of expected.

The first woman I met ( who was from Volgograd) we ate dinner with her friends all the time and I enjoyed taking them out.
One reason was they all spoke English well except my girl ,heh.
Helped translation greatly!!!

Even the computer idea I would hold off on.
Things can and do go sour in a big way as you know unfortunately.

Hey though I hope everything works out great for you.
Jerry

Posted by: EasyTarget

GTR:
I think I would agree with the others about not buying a microwave. If she has been making food on her stove top her whole life, I think she can continue to do so while you are visiting with her. Also I would think it is easier to take her to cafes for dinner, nothing fancy, nothing formal, just relaxed easy going dining.

DVD player, as much as us gives love shiny electronics, not many women view it as a romantic gift. She might like it, but she may never use it either. A mobile phone with a huge amount of minutes - like $100 might be a better gift, if she doesn't have one.

By the way no matter what you wind up buying as a gift, I would very much doubt she would think of it as you were trying to buy her affection. It is all in the presentation and timing of when you give the gift.

Posted by: firemansam

Sorry Zaniac...

Don't buy her a microvave GTR... Buy her a orgasm keyring!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by firemansam

Sorry Zaniac...

Don't buy her a microvave GTR... Buy her a orgasm keyring!

HE HE HE ... Hopefully she won't need a "keyring" to know what "IT" sounds like!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I wasn't planning on giving it as a gift but I guess it could be interpreted that way ... hmmm. The microwave was so we could be together more and the DVD player was basically for me so she doesn't think I'm bored. I never planned on buying the computer but it would save me money in the long run ... but there might not be a long run. Two months worth of calling could buy a computer.

Okay, no microwave but I will still consider bringing the portable DVD player. I could bring a book to entertain myself but I like the idea of watching a movie together. Her English is very good and talks it at "Russian speed".

Posted by: Chrismc

I agree with some of the othes teve....don't buy things like microwaves etc aty the moment, plenty of time for that later if you two get on and continue seeing each other.

I would go for something more personal, something just for her, not to make her life easier, that type of gift is not very romantic is it. I am sure if you take her something private just for her rather than the home she will appreciate it much more.

Other gifts like microwaves, etc you can always offer to buy for her in the future, then it will be more appreciated.

Just my 2 kopecs or whatever they use in Moldova

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I already have her personal/romantic item picked out. I hope she thinks it not too much and flashy. It is a necklace in the shape of a heart with small rubies and diamond chips. I think I will take the portable DVD player, I can watch it on the plane or the train if we go to Kiev.

Posted by: Spakoyna

Hello,Steve
I also agree the microwave would be a waste! My wife's family had one which was seldom used! Yes they have microwave popcorn....probably the most use their's had seen in a year! Only thing I saw them use it for was to warm up their coffee if it cooled.

I bought my wife a computer. But we were past the getting to know each other phase(midway through my 2nd visit). It was a well thought out decision by me. Not only did the computer pay for itself it allowed my wife to write more and most of all made her communications much easier! She lived 30 minutes(under ideal conditions) from the agency. This envolved 10 or 15 minute walk to a busstop and then the wait for a bus,etc.,etc.

The other hope was her family would use it to communicate with us after she came here. Well....we bought books and spent quite a bit of time trying to teach her brother...her mother would not even try. Won't use the potato peeler I bought either!

Needless to say the computer has not been used since. Hence this all equates to why I wouldn't buy a microwave either! On a good note a computer might be quite affordable now. I bougth my wife a new up to date computer for around $500(4 years ago!). They are probably cheaper now. The down side unless it has changed was the internet access was almost like using a prepaid cellphone. You need to write your letter, then get online and send it and then get offline!

For a 1st meeting I would simply buy her the things women like. While shopping if she shows an interest in a nice blouse or whatever...buy it unless she seems to be expecting it!

Goodluck!

Posted by: Jerico

Quote:

It is a necklace in the shape of a heart with small rubies and diamond chips.

This sounds like a winner!!!
Good luck!!

Posted by: EasyTarget

GTR: Here is a suggestion, I would buy matching ear rings for the necklace. Give the ear rings first (or the necklace) and if things are going really well, surprise her with the second gift.

Something I have been wondering about the DVD player, why would she ever think you are bored? I am sure you will find something to keep you occupied.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

GTR: Here is a suggestion, I would buy matching ear rings for the necklace. Give the ear rings first (or the necklace) and if things are going really well, surprise her with the second gift.

Something I have been wondering about the DVD player, why would she ever think you are bored? I am sure you will find something to keep you occupied.

You're reading my mind, I also have earrings and a ring but I think it is a bit much. Maybe first the necklace when I meet her, earrings in Kiev, and a ring when we depart. They are all ruby and diamond items.

Lana always thought I was bored when she cooked and cleaned and would sit and think or look out the window, I wasn't. This girl said she didn't want me to be bored. She is very excited about our meeting and she wants everything perfect. I told her I came to see her and get to know her. Not to travel and to be entertained, that's secondary and would be a bonus. I think we are both stressing a little.

Posted by: Spakoyna

I thought about this more and would like to addabout buying her a computer...it was probably more closer to an hour to her agency and it was in the middle of Siberia in the winter time!

Another thought! If you really want to get some exercise...at least it was in my caes. At the end of my 1st visit,it was shortly before her birthday(1 week after I returned). I had been thinking long and hard what could I do for her birthday. I decided I would buy her an outfit! Oh my aching feet! We spent nearly an entire day on the run as she had to see everything in Kiev at least once! What a sigh of relief when she finally made her decision!

Perhaps if all is well with you 2 this might be an idea. Clothes are very important to these ladies, but never! I repeat never buy clothes for a lady yourself! I passed the 3 strikes and your out a long time ago!

Posted by: AkMike

GTR,
A couple of thoughts about this idea, Tanya enjoys cooking so it's not a chore to be speeded up. She wants to cook tasty meals and appreciates compliments about the quality of the dishes. She doesn't use the microwave here to much. And if this lady is just scraping by week to week, don't give things that would further tax her recources. Added electricity use counts as would a ISP for the `puter.
Tanya was in a similar situation back then.
When my first visit was coming to an end I had decided that I wanted to know her better but the dictionary and the phrase book was a PITA for both of us. I stashed a few hundred in a book with a yellow cover with a letter explaining my want to know her better and the problems with the language. I told her to find and english teacher and to get lessons. She did! It has helped us alot.
Jewelery is always a good item as is perfume. Something from your area(not corn or soybeans

) is appreciated. Take lot'sa local pics of your home family and such always goes over good with everyone. Get flowers often when you're over there. Odd numbers as you know by now.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

GTR,
A couple of thoughts about this idea, Tanya enjoys cooking so it's not a chore to be speeded up. She wants to cook tasty meals and appreciates compliments about the quality of the dishes. She doesn't use the microwave here to much. And if this lady is just scraping by week to week, don't give things that would further tax her recources. Added electricity use counts as would a ISP for the `puter.
Tanya was in a similar situation back then.
When my first visit was coming to an end I had decided that I wanted to know her better but the dictionary and the phrase book was a PITA for both of us. I stashed a few hundred in a book with a yellow cover with a letter explaining my want to know her better and the problems with the language. I told her to find and english teacher and to get lessons. She did! It has helped us alot.
Jewelery is always a good item as is perfume. Something from your area(not corn or soybeans

) is appreciated. Take lot'sa local pics of your home family and such always goes over good with everyone. Get flowers often when you're over there. Odd numbers as you know by now.

Yes I thought about the added electricity and I of course would pay for an ISP. Her son is really into computers and I know he'd like one. They have an antiques laptop that he is always fixing and experimenting with. He's going to school for computers, hmmm so is Lana's son.

Yes I left a few hundred also when I left each time. Her eyes really light up when she saw that green!!!

Okay guys last time. I'm not getting her a computer or a microwave. I'm strongly considering taking a portable DVD player for me.

Yes I've got the jewelery and 11 red roses are being delivered for Woman's Day along with balloons and a small bear.

Posted by: AkMike

Tanya's son fooled around with antique `puters too. He's a real guru now so it's good training for them I guess.
Sounds to me like you've got all the bases covered to me. Good Luck! I hope things turn out ALOT better this time around for you.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Hello,Steve
I also agree the microwave would be a waste! My wife's family had one which was seldom used! Yes they have microwave popcorn....probably the most use their's had seen in a year! Only thing I saw them use it for was to warm up their coffee if it cooled.

I bought my wife a computer. But we were past the getting to know each other phase(midway through my 2nd visit). It was a well thought out decision by me. Not only did the computer pay for itself it allowed my wife to write more and most of all made her communications much easier! She lived 30 minutes(under ideal conditions) from the agency. This envolved 10 or 15 minute walk to a busstop and then the wait for a bus,etc.,etc.

The other hope was her family would use it to communicate with us after she came here. Well....we bought books and spent quite a bit of time trying to teach her brother...her mother would not even try. Won't use the potato peeler I bought either!

I really was not actually considering a computer. It was just a thought but I realized it would be a bit much. Yes Lana always complained about about buying cards to access the Internet. She also mentioned the price continues to rise in Russia and is decreasing everywhere else in the world. I need a computer anyway so I think I will buy myself one first. Yes you are right, I have seen laptops on sale for $500.

Lana never used the veggie peeler I bought her either! She knew exactly what it was too! She could peel a spud very quick with a paring knife. She a master with a knife so I had to watch my Ps and Qs all the time!

I do not like window shopping. I am the kind of person that makes a list to go to the store and that is all I buy. In and out as quick as possible. Do not worry about me, I will not ask her to go shopping.

Thanks for the input Spanky!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Tanya's son fooled around with antique `puters too. He's a real guru now so it's good training for them I guess.
Sounds to me like you've got all the bases covered to me. Good Luck! I hope things turn out ALOT better this time around for you.

Thanks Mike, between cancer and divorce, it could not turn out much worse. I do not want to go through that again!

Posted by: Spakoyna

Spanky Says! You can probably buy a descent desktop now for less than $300! That was 4 years ago when we paid $500! Tis food for thought!

You are the same as me in regards to shopping! But you will make your lady a very happy camper if you do take her shopping!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

If you find a laptop for less then $300 let me know. I've only seen them as low as $500, and that was on sale.

I took Lana shopping last time I was in Sochi. She did seem to enjoy it. I bought a gold bracelet but I think we went to 3 shops before we decided which one to buy. She described where she lives and it sounds like she is very close to a lot of shops so I'm sure we will be shopping together, especially if we go to Kiev. But no shopping for clothes ... unless it's from "Kiev's Secret"!

Take care Spanks!

Posted by: Spakoyna

In regards to a computer Spanky also thought about this! You can buy the prompt translation program over there for a few bucks in the metro stations. It is a wonderful help if you hit a roadblock in communication. The downside is the copy you buy there will not work here. :-( Yeap...thjere is a Russian Windows and an English Windows.

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Take care Spanks!

LOL! Desktop...not laptop! Desktop is the monster with a TV size moniter.etc,etc! One that would stay behind!

Hope you meet your keeper!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

LOL! Desktop...not laptop! Desktop is the monster with a TV size moniter.etc,etc! One that would stay behind!

Hope you meet your keeper!

I don't think a desktop would fit in my carry on luggage!

Posted by: Spakoyna

LMAOROTF! I bought the computer over there! They even delivered it and set it up! It was an AMD 2.3 with a 17 inch monitor for a bit under $500! Thought it was a good deal myself. The 2nd hand stores wanted damn near the same for an antique. Ya do need ta know where to go. Don't know what ther scene would be like in Moldova. I guess my wife has relaxed enough now to say it was and she is from Novosibirsk!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

LMAOROTF! I bought the computer over there! They even delivered it and set it up! It was an AMD 2.3 with a 17 inch monitor for a bit under $500! Thought it was a good deal myself. The 2nd hand stores wanted damn near the same for an antique. Ya do need ta know where to go. Don't know what ther scene would be like in Moldova. I guess my wife has relaxed enough now to say it was and she is from Novosibirsk!

I'd say prices in Moldova are a little cheaper then Russia. It is an agricultural country known for their grapes/wine and tobacco so food it plentiful. I checked out their hotels and 4 star hotels are around $70 USD and that includes pool, billiard room, sauna, restaurant, bar, airport service, and anything else you can think of. I think I will have a good time even if things don't work out.

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Thanks Mike, between cancer and divorce, it could not turn out much worse. I do not want to go through that again!

They say that if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. IF that is true then IMHO You're one strong SOB!

Posted by: AkMike

Moldova makes some very nice wines! That is a MUST to try.
Tanya and I always look for them when we are over there.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

They say that if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. IF that is true then IMHO You're one strong SOB!

I know I'm definitely stronger but I'm not a strong SOB. All I could do was sit there and take it. I got my strength and support for my RMP friends. Even though I've never met any of them, they sure helped me through some dark times and I consider them my friends.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Moldova makes some very nice wines! That is a MUST to try.
Tanya and I always look for them when we are over there.

Not much of a wine drinker but neither is the woman I'm going to see. She does like some of the sweet wine now and then. She mentioned maybe taking a tour. Don't know about that, I can't drink much alcohol anymore. Two beers and that's it for me!

We are both beer drinkers.

Posted by: AkMike

Me too but I'm getting changed some...
For you anything would be better than Blue Ribbon.... Or Black Label. LOL

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Me too but I'm getting changed some...
For you anything would be better than Blue Ribbon.... Or Black Label. LOL

I can't drink cheap beer or draft beer. Gives me a headache and I "pour" it out the other end in the morning!!!

I'm so glad we had this conversation ... how 'bout you!

Posted by: EasyTarget

GTR:
I noticed a trend lately with your posts and I hope it doesn't put a damper on your spirits. You keep making references to Lana in a comparison mode. I am not a shrink and I don't play one on tv, but maybe it is best if you stop comparing them. The woman from Moldova should be admired for her own merits and not because she is better or worst then Lana.

Maybe I am out of line, maybe I don't know what I am talking about. Lana is the past and you are definitely moving on. Give the woman from Moldova a chance. I know it is difficult when there are numerous similarities, but I think it is best to look at this opportunity with a clear vision and not through Lana colored lenses.

Just my $.02, I will be quiet now.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

GTR:
I noticed a trend lately with your posts and I hope it doesn't put a damper on your spirits. You keep making references to Lana in a comparison mode. I am not a shrink and I don't play one on tv, but maybe it is best if you stop comparing them. The woman from Moldova should be admired for her own merits and not because she is better or worst then Lana.

Maybe I am out of line, maybe I don't know what I am talking about. Lana is the past and you are definitely moving on. Give the woman from Moldova a chance. I know it is difficult when there are numerous similarities, but I think it is best to look at this opportunity with a clear vision and not through Lana colored lenses.

Just my $.02, I will be quiet now.

No problem ET, please speak your mind. I want everyone's opinion that is willing to provide it. Tell me what I am doing wrong but please tell me what I'm doing right also. I'm just trying to move on and it's hard to do when you're still married and you discuss divorce matters with your wife. Yes both women are very similar and it has my guard up. I would probably have my guard up even if they were not alike.

Keep posting ET and I will try not to compare the 2 women.

Posted by: AkMike

Since that subject is brought to the surface... What's your legal status now? Is the divorce over with or getting close?
Most of all are you healed enough to give your all to a new relationship? It took several years for me to heal and be completely ready for a fresh relationship.
Only you can answer that!

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

No problem ET, please speak your mind. I want everyone's opinion that is willing to provide it. Tell me what I am doing wrong but please tell me what I'm doing right also.
Keep posting ET and I will try not to compare the 2 women.

GTR: If I knew anything about women I don't think I would be looking for love, I would already have it.
Completely talking out of my hat, because I wasn't there, but it does seem like the relationship with Lana wasn't a marriage, it ended so quickly.

Things you are doing right...
Not sitting in your house mopping and feeling sorry for yourself. Life happens and your moving on.
Having an open mind about the new possible relationship
Being honest with the Moldavian woman from day 1. -- if the circumstances warrant, I would stress to the Moldavian woman that she is your top choice, Lana is still a friend and you have nothing negative to say about her. Lana had feelings for another man and could not commit to the relationship, and was never serious. -- something like that.
Constant communication with the Moldavian woman

And most importantly........
Taking the advice from RMP with a grain of salt.

Posted by: Ade

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Hi,

Necklace and earrings are nice but I've never been sure about rings for someone, on two counts; firstly, I've found people's taste in rings is much less predictable than for necklaces and earrings, and secondly there is the important question of sizing. When I bought Seida a ring, I took her to the shop so she could pick it and get the right size - and that's just as nice as presenting with a surprise.

Good luck with your trip,

Adeski

Posted by: sidney

My wife and I have an agreement when it comes to gifts. I never buy jewelery without her approval. She is very picky as far as color, clarity and such. She also has agreed to do the same with guns as a gift for me because of the same reasoning. Sid

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Since that subject is brought to the surface... What's your legal status now? Is the divorce over with or getting close?
Most of all are you healed enough to give your all to a new relationship? It took several years for me to heal and be completely ready for a fresh relationship.
Only you can answer that!

I should be divorced but I'm not. She couldn't go through with the first divorce so she stopped it. She said she stilled loved me but loved the other guy also. After thinking it over again and much prompting from me, she filed for divorce again last Tuesday. My divorce should be final March 12th, if she doesn't stop it again. She sent me an e-card saying she still feels close to me. So I had to fire back a letter saying to divorce me. Her final chemotherapy was last Thursday.

We were married and in love but we really didn't have much of a history. I was only with her for 1 week after we were married. Yes I am ready for another relationship and can commit 100% of my thoughts and attention to a new girl. I can't go into why but this girl has something special and rare. It gives me a whole different feeling toward a relationship.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

You are right ET and I like your "hat"!

It wasn't really a marriage and I think that is why I can move on rather quickly. Yes it is still painful at times but I know the marriage is over, I just have to forget her. I don't bad mouth her with the new girl. I explain what happened from beginning to end including the cancer. She was quite impressed and said I was "sweet" because I supported and married her after she had cancer. I noticed that MOST Russian women feel very inferior if they are not healthy, let's not debate this issue ... it's my opinion based on my experiences.

I wish I could tell you why I started a relationship so fast with this new girl. It makes trusting again easier, maybe good ... maybe bad. I'll find out ... nothing ventured nothing gained. Thanks for pointing out the bad AND the good!

Posted by: Thorburn

GTR, I can imagine that you sitting and just thinking while she cooks and cleans could appear to her that you are brooding/bored or less than completely happy. Everyone is different but I would want to help her or at least talk with her while she was doing these things.
If that is not you, what about using the time to learn Russian?
I am sure there are other things you could think of to do which would benefit you and impress her at the same time.
If you do take a portable DVD player - make a CD or DVD of photos and/or home videos of what life is like in your neck of the woods, which you can watch and discuss together.

Just some suggestions...

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Hello GTR! See you are on-lain now. Sorry for delay, I am here only now.
So, what can I tell you about this?

About microwave. I think, this is not good idea. Do you know what kind of electric installation/wires inside the apartment/house of this woman? There are a lot of old types of electric wires inside buildings of former USSR. As usually, most of all things like modern microwaves, automatic washemachines, dishwashers, electric grills and kettles dont work in such apartments/houses. Or all these electric things work, but you will stay in the dark without electic lights. All these things can work very good after some re-equipment. Does she have enought money for getting these re-equipment? Something to think here.

I am sure, she is good woman and want to cook for you many taste things. However, she has not experience with such thing. She may be nerviouse. This is no good also.

Good mordern microwave is really expensive. I mean about very good microwave! I visited good technical store recently.

About computer and DVD player? Please, could you ask this woman. If you want to have a good connection with this woman, you may buy no expensive computer without microwave and DVD player.

Good luck!!!!!

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

GTR, I forgot to tell you about DVD player.
Please, dont need to bring with you DVD player. We call this like "format" difference. So, most of all typoes foreign DVD players can not "read" and "understand" local DVD's. Moldova has 220 W also.

Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

GTR, I even had problems with too many electrical devices at my Aunt's house in San Francisco, which is in the USA, by the way. The wiring setup is old, and I think if I installed a dishwasher, we would have some real problems. In fact, when I lived in Bremerton(WA), the house was built in 1957, and was converted into two units. The electrical box would have had to be replaced, in order to have a downstairs dishwasher, too.

So, I would advise--unless you are well-versed in being an electrician---I would not even try. It's tough enough in the US to do it, as is. But to deal with the particular quirks of 220v on top of it....you're going in over your head.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

Good mordern microwave is really expensive. I mean about very good microwave! I visited good technical store recently.

That is true. Even in Mexico, they would rather bring one from the US instead of buying one locally. I see Mexicans ship TVs as a piece of luggage all the time.....and I am not aware of how much taxes FSU countries will charge. To give you an example of this kind of stuff, Peru charges 200% duty on microwaves for individuals.

Also, you have to think about packing. Most(but not all) airlines will not accept certain electrical devices, unless it is in a factory-packed box. But then you have no idea if the device works or is defective unless you open it. So a catch-22.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

Please, dont need to bring with you DVD player. We call this like "format" difference. So, most of all typoes foreign DVD players can not "read" and "understand" local DVD's. Moldova has 220 W also.

Tatyana was insisting that the US discs would play in the local DVD player, and I was skeptical. I really was surprised. And even played with ENGLISH subtitles.

Posted by: EasyTarget

some dvd players from the gray market are not region locked. However if you buy a dvd player from the US it will be region locked. Also if you are buying DVD's on the street usually the copy protection has been stripped.
Your mileage may vary

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Thanks everyone for your opinions. I will not buy a computer or a microwave. I may buy a DVD player when I arrive. My DVDs and CDs worked in Sochi so I'm sure if I buy a player in Moldova it will work, if not no problem.

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Thanks everyone for your opinions. I will not buy a computer or a microwave. I may buy a DVD player when I arrive. My DVDs and CDs worked in Sochi so I'm sure if I buy a player in Moldova it will work, if not no problem.

Hey GTR ....the one i bought Nat was about $50 US and plays all formats of DVD's including CD's MP3's ect. Russian movies i bought there play fine on my player at home in OZ. I dont know about the US.

Posted by: bingism

Most locked players can be unlocked. Usually you need to buy one of those universal remotes and hunt around the net for a suitable code. I used this on a standard Sony player last year and it worked fine. Since I didn't want the remote, I went to Argos, tried it out and then returned it under their 14-day 'no questions' returns policy lol Bad Bing...

Posted by: tonton

GTR, I'll chip in here. To be honest, and on asking Elena about such things, avoid buying consumer items such as anything electrical. A good, simple gift as a perform is all that is required and will be accepted with an open heart. Jewelery should be chosen together, clothing the same and homeland from US/Aus/wherever gifts are appreciated. Do not consider anything excessive and make her feel uncomfortable.

My opinion is the same up-thread - do not buy her affections, - let it flow mate!

Posted by: dagpop

Hi GT MUR, why don't you wait till you get over there and see what she really needs.You two can go shopping one day and buy her something over there.

Maybe you can look at rings. Hint Hint

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I bought a portable/battery operated/rechargeable DVD player and a converter. If all goes well, I will leave it with her. I don't think I will have room in my suitcase for my camera so I will buy one there and leave it with her. She doesn't have a camera and I would what many pictures of her!

I really feel for this woman. Her boiler/hot water heater broke and she doesn't have enough money to buy a new one. A new one costs about $100 USD but when you make only $300 USD a month ...... life is tough!

Posted by: dagpop

A hot water heater will probably be the best gift you can give her.You can help her get it replaced,while you are there.As for the dvd player,she might not be able to afford dvds.A camera would be a good investment.

Posted by: dagpop

You might act as a handy man at her apartment,while you are there.She may need other things fixed.You might take some tools with you(screwdrivers,wenches,ect...).

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

I bought a portable/battery operated/rechargeable DVD player and a converter. If all goes well, I will leave it with her. I don't think I will have room in my suitcase for my camera so I will buy one there and leave it with her. She doesn't have a camera and I would what many pictures of her!

Azdahrozna!(spelling)=CAUTION!

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

You might act as a handy man at her apartment,while you are there.She may need other things fixed.You might take some tools with you(screwdrivers,wenches,ect...).

Now you are really starting to worry me Dags

Posted by: dagpop

Ira,don't the Aussies try to dress a little sexy,when you do repairs around the house?

The outfit will turn on GTR'S gal.He will make some real points with her.

Posted by: dagpop

Is this outfit better?

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Is this outfit better?

Thats more like it Mate ....the timeless builders crack

Posted by: dagpop

I think this crack is better.

Posted by: dagpop

Ira,what is this type of crack?

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Ira,what is this type of crack?

I sure hope your not the guy that's married to a new friend of my wife that sits in front of his computer after she supposedly is alseep exercising the crap outta his left hand!

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Ira,what is this type of crack?

All i can say is not my type

Posted by: dagpop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

I sure hope your not the guy that's married to a new friend of my wife that sits in front of his computer after she supposedly is alseep exercising the crap outta his left hand!

I'm the guy who plays tiddley winks,when my wife is asleep.I sneak down stairs and make sure she does not hear me.I save my hands for the real thing

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Azdahrozna!(spelling)=CAUTION!

Yes, the thought crossed my mind ... but $100 isn't much. Her father went into the hospital today .. now I'm a bit more worried ... but hopeful. My radar is on full scan! I will proceed with caution. Advice noted Spanky ... thanks.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Ira,don't the Aussies try to dress a little sexy,when you do repairs around the house?

The outfit will turn on GTR'S gal.He will make some real points with her.

"Sometimes I worry about that boy!" - Jed Clampet.

I noticed you have the '72 Stones tour poster as your avatar. Will they be in The Bunker this weekend in concert? Make it Friday night and I'll be there. I wonder if Waiting123 can make it. We could have a reunion and a send off for me!

Posted by: dagpop

Hi GT MUR,

What is your dirty secret,which you do at night.Will you sneak out at night,when Lora is asleep.I told you what I do,when Rima is asleep.What is your secret

Posted by: dagpop

GTMUR, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

It is the 1972 RS tour poster.

This was a good tour too!