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The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian...
International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union. |
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Originally Posted by JamesB
I believe all other options should be looked at first.If there is love there i think they should consider every option.
I would not want to move to russia if liuda left but at a push i would to keep us together. |
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Originally Posted by GentleGiant
i dont think I could live in the cities in the states, I hate going into the big cities here; hell! I hate going into the LITTLE cities here!!
i leave my house and pick a direction; 3 out of 4 put me in the country or a park within 5 minutes; and thats walking!! |
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Originally Posted by JamesB
Im packing my bags now.Shall i bring some good irish malt whisky.lol
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But I'm more fond of another Englishman called Captain Morgan!
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Originally Posted by AkMike
LOL If you drag GG over here with you I'll take you guys out to the Dacha for some winter fun on snowmobiles!
We just got back from a couple of days there and Tanya loves it. As far as the Irish Whiskey.. But I'm more fond of another Englishman called Captain Morgan! |
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Originally Posted by GentleGiant
i dont think I could live in the cities in the states, I hate going into the big cities here; hell! I hate going into the LITTLE cities here!!
i leave my house and pick a direction; 3 out of 4 put me in the country or a park within 5 minutes; and thats walking!! |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
My fiancee lives in a city which has about 1 million people. She says she is looking forward to living in the country and a slow ace of life. My city has about 50,000 people.
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Originally Posted by That1Guy
She has asked me several times to move to Russia, but I cannot give up the security of having a job in familiar surroundings for something so uncertain.
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Originally Posted by deccie
Guy,
I'm not sure I believe your explanation is a complete one. IF I read the above you won't do for your wife what she did for you. Because she DID leave her life, job and country for something very uncertain and now you are unable or unwilling to reciprocate it. I am not critcising your decision on this I just don't believe your being completely honest on your reasons for not going. |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Yes Chippie I agree with you. I would say 90+% of the guys here couldn't quit their job and move to the FSU. In most cases it is unrealistic to think this is possible. Most women from the FSU understand this but for some reason Deccie doesn't.
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Originally Posted by chippie
GTR,
I've been in law enforcement for 23 years, and even with that experience I don't think that I would make a good Russian cop. KGB maybe, lol!! chippie |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Exactly!!! I'm about 3.5 years from retirement with full benefits, why would I give up all that? I can stay here for 3.5 years, retire, then move to the FSU ... but how many guys have this option? I'm sure less then 10%. So if things don't work out here, we can move back to Moldova ... although I'm sure she won't want to do this!!!
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Not a bad idea. I was thinking about buying a time share in Bulgaria on the Black Sea. This way we coud go there for vacations and invite her family. I was in Bulgaria last summer, great place to visit and the women are very good looking!
Russians are buying up land there because it is very cheap, compared to Russian land. |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
So you got the K-1 in the works?
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Originally Posted by chippie
deccie,
I think guy's point is that he would not be able to support a family. She moved knowing that he could support her. Could he move there knowing that she could support him for a while?? Probably not. chippie |
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Originally Posted by GTR
I'm about 3.5 years from retirement with full benefits, why would I give up all that?
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Yes Chippie I know about government paperwork moving slow ... I work for George W!!!
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Originally Posted by deccie
I like RAH's quote about "public servants": "No matter how lavishly overpaid, civil servants everywhere are convinced that they are horribly underpaid -- but all public employees have larceny in their hearts or they wouldn't be feeding at the public trough."
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Originally Posted by chippie
deccie,
Being a public servant (law enforcement) I have my own opinion about wages. We get paid for not only what we must do, but also for some of the nasty things that we might have to do so citizens can sleep at night. Do you know how hard it is to get "fat off the public trough" when we work all night while you are safe, and asleep in bed?? I see that you've obvious never been in my "mocassins". chippie |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Well Deccie I can see you don't undertand that it takes finances to support a wife and family. You have a lot to learn and it looks like you'll learn it the hard way.
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Originally Posted by deccie
Don't be so purile GTR. Of course I'm aware of such things but in this case we are talking about a man potentially losing his family if he won't move versus the uncertainty of the future if he does move. On that basis I stand by everything I've written. What's the good of retaining financial stability if you end up with no family to support?
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Originally Posted by blucatz
But what GTR was stating about his only having 3.5 years till retirement was not a statement of selfishness of money. It was a statement of financial security. I am sure that his future bride to be fully understands his situation about his retirement in 3.5 years and that he cannot move untill then and she has chosen to accept that. That to me is a good financial strategy on his part because she only has to endure 3.5 years here in the states, then if she decides that she does not like it here, GTR has the option of moving anywhere his wife desires to go.
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Originally Posted by blucatz
But what GTR was stating about his only having 3.5 years till retirement was not a statement of selfishness of money. It was a statement of financial security. I am sure that his future bride to be fully understands his situation about his retirement in 3.5 years and that he cannot move untill then and she has chosen to accept that. That to me is a good financial strategy on his part because she only has to endure 3.5 years here in the states, then if she decides that she does not like it here, GTR has the option of moving anywhere his wife desires to go.
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
If I give up my job and move to her country, how will I support her?
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Originally Posted by deccie
It's called "get a new job". Exactly like Mistermopar has done. With some preparation and work it can be done. Then again government "workers" may have no saleable skills outside that environment..
Unlike you GTR I have moved countries and found work. It can be done. But I guess government types spend most of their time explaining to people why things CANNOT be done. Others go ahead and do it anyway. |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
You are clueless Deccie. Ask Mr. Mopar how much money he makes. He has said it's barely enough to support himself.
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Actually Deccie my work is producing a DVD product each month. I'd say that is a marketable skill.
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
You're last 2 comments are just too ignorant to respond to.
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Originally Posted by deccie
I suppose you have to get your post count up a little bit more.
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Originally Posted by deccie
I reiterate that Guy was not stating the full reasons for his not following his wife's request. Nothing more than that.
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and in one, I saw that you have stated that I was not stating all of the factors that prevent me from moving. You are absolutely correct, and I appologize for some of what I said in my earlier post.
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Originally Posted by deccie
I think you should speak to some RW and ask them if they felt so certain about their new lives (and potential husbands). Of course their are people who's professions do not enable them to move easily from one country to another - if they seek to remain in that profession. Some people feel very uncomfortable changing professions after so many years of doing one thing.
Guy stated he could not move because of the uncertainty of the move and yes, I fully understand his uncertainty of being unable to provide for his family despite GTR stating otherwise. I suspect I know quite a few more expats who live there than GTR does other than his forum buddies. Take GTR's statement about being so close to retirement. In his case he would not move because he figures his financial security is more important to him than moving countries if his new wife asked him to do it. Well, I guess we can understand what is more important to him. His new wife or his money. To quote GTR My answer would be if faced with that question is "Because your love asked you to do it for her." I reiterate that Guy was not stating the full reasons for his not following his wife's request. Nothing more than that. It is his life and he is entirely free to live where he feels he must. I just feel for the woman in this situation. Which is worse, losing your family because your wife is unhappy or facing an uncertain future? Of course financial security and stability is a consideration, but it is not the only one. I would put the mental health and happiness of your partner up there equally. The real reality here is that most of the guys here would not want to leave their homes for what they perceive as a lower standard of living and harsher way of life than they currently have and they do not want to deal with all the b/s that happens in the fsu. |
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Originally Posted by That1Guy
However, I still feel, you take the attitude that you are in a position to judge others, and are quick to do so. The argument that it is irresponsible to move without having an established means of support has validity, and it is certainly not a decision I would use as a basis to criticize anyone! |
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Originally Posted by That1Guy
Yet you take this even further, and go on to suggest that those who make this argument are inferior to those who argue against it. And you base this argument on nothing more than rhetoric aimed at demeaning government employees. I think this is not fair treatment of the subject being debated or to the people who have a different point of view than yours.
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Originally Posted by That1Guy
There is something called tolerance that I think is very important in intimate relationships, and I think this becomes even more important when two cultures come together.
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Originally Posted by That1Guy
The ability to see things from another's point of view is one way compassion manifests itself in the behavior of people. At times, you seem unwilling to try and step into another person's shoes, and even though you do not agree with them, or the decisions they make, I would think you might be less apt to judge them as bad people if you would just try it.
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Originally Posted by Spakoyna
Deccie! I gotta say you have hit the bottom of the barrel for me. You are so far out in left field compared to the majority here.
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Originally Posted by Spakoyna
My wife just told me she thinks she doesn't want to go back to Russia. The only reason for going back is to visit her mother. She has been here 3+1/2 years. We will go back when she says the word.I have pushed her and pushed her on the fact that we need to go see her mother. She is trying her damndest to get her mother to come and visit us. I will pay all expenses.
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Originally Posted by Spakoyna
The # 1 most important thing for a descent man is to provide for his family.
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Originally Posted by Spakoyna
Financial security is paramount. But oh...I forgot...you are preaching that everyone in the world should have all the same things...house,car,etc,etc. Leeches and hard workers alike!
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Originally Posted by Spakoyna
I'm sorry! Nothing could bring me to understand your views on life in the REAL WORLD!
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I do not judge anyone even if it may seem that way. The vast majority of people here ARE good people even if I see some of them as foolish. Although many here on the web forum may feel that I lack empathy way my friends in Real Life do not. Again, perhaps it is my poor writing. I will see and criticise an action but that does not diminish how I feel about the person on a general basis. I see a separation between a person and the actions they take. |
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Originally Posted by blucatz
Was this not a thread on how best to receive a divorce from a Russian spouse? Once again, as in other threads on this forum, deccie, you seemed to have totally monopolized the thread and taken it in a direction that you want it to go. Maybe the owners of this site should come up with a special forum just for you so you can argue your point of view to whom ever you desire till your fingers turn red. They could call it "Deccie's, you aint gonna win this argument" forum.
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Originally Posted by deccie
I don't think my fingers are going red anytime soon.
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I bet dem fingers are caloused to the max!
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Originally Posted by blucatz
Somebody please tell me why does deccie always have to pick an argument over something stupid with someone on these threads? deccie can't you just agree to disagree and let it go at that? Dang, you just wasted a page and a half argueing with GTR over something stupid. On another thread you argued with someone for 3 pages and got 4 different people involved. Let the thread go back to what it started.
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Originally Posted by deccie
Blucatz, divergence cannot occur on a unilateral basis. If someone posts something in a thread I can post if I disagree with what is written. When someone disagrees with me (as they frequently do) people reply.
Ok, so it's stupid to you. In that case feel free NOT to post replies to me. You will save wasted bandwidth that way. |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Yes because you are not staying on subject when it was headed in that direction. You seem to have a habit of doing this and antagonizing members at the same time by being your usual opinionated "all knowing" self.
Now can we get back on track with this thread? It case you can't read or don't remember the topic, the question was what is the best way to get a divorce from a Russian spouse. |
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