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What do you do?
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Posted by: youlek

I wonder what you do if you understand after several letters that this woman/man is not for you. Do you send him/her a letter saying that you've understood that it won't work out for you?

Posted by: I/O

It is not relevant to me now, but when it was, yes I sent a letter simply saying what I thought. I never received an angry letter in reply. Mostly I received something similar to what I had written, which was along the lines of thanks for your honestly and good luck with your search.

I think it is simple decency to put a closure line on something like this.

Posted by: Chrismc

I just write a nice polite letter to them, explain very briefly why were are not suitable and wish them goodluck in their search. Manners cost nothing. Sometimes they reply thanking me for being honest with them and they usually wish me luck also.

Posted by: youlek

Tks for your replies. When I translate female letters, they very seldom send letters when they don't want to correspond with a man. Do you think it is wrong? And they never receive letters from men, saying why they want to stop writing.
That's why I asked.

Posted by: markgm

It all comes down to the ethics and politeness of the person Youlek those with good ethics and values will send the letter out of courtesy.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

I wonder what you do if you understand after several letters that this woman/man is not for you. Do you send him/her a letter saying that you've understood that it won't work out for you?

of course, why string yourself or someone else along.

I had an expierence once with one Aussie girl. I realised after a few e-mails there was something about the manner of her expression i did not find attractive so i told her it was nice getting to know a little bit about her but i did not feel we were on same wavelength. She wrote back saying she thought i was saying she was immature because she was a bit younger than me but that was not the case. Anyway as it turned out she was quite fiesty and in replying to her our e-mails went on a bit longer and i stayed open minded that we could atleast be friends. As time went on she kept assuming too many things and i had to tell her i had enough talking with her and would no longer reply.

My other internet expierence was with Natasha from Ukraine. That is a lot tougher as i started out just talking to her as a friend and was not taking it seriously at first as i was not looking for some woman outside my own country but l foind I loved talking with her and finding out about her culture. From there things grew and it took a trip, coming back and corresponding more to realise as attractive as she is to me, she does not know how to be in a relationship in the way i'd like. I wish it was easy to see that early on but there is no way of being certain from letters. Anyway i don't regret meeting her at all i just regret getting emotionally entangled over time that makes it harder going a different path as you know whatever happens you will always care about them.

Anyway for myself i realise internet dating is not for me but it's been an adventure i did not see coming. Natasha was the only girl that came close to what i'm after in a relationship. I'm the type of person that wants to make sure myself and the other person are sure of our reasons and why we are going a different path. Sometimes that is tough as some people are scared of looking deeper into themselves and do not know how to create or end relationships of a deeper level.
I read womans profiles and what people write about themselves in most cases does not gain my interest. Very superficial. Most say a similar thing which turns me off. I like people that are unique in the way they see themselves.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Tks for your replies. When I translate female letters, they very seldom send letters when they don't want to correspond with a man. Do you think it is wrong? And they never receive letters from men, saying why they want to stop writing.
That's why I asked.

Youlek

In my experience over the last two years, when I have made the decision I have written and explained to the lady, but when the lady has made the decision I can only remember one that actually wrote to me and told me why, the rest have just dissappeared and I have never heard from them again.

I don't know if this is a FSU women thing or just a women thing?? but that is how it has happened.

Chris

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

I don't know if this is a FSU women thing or just a women thing?? but that is how it has happened.

Chris

To tell the truth, I don't know. My ex-clients received such letters only from 3% of men, with whom they corresponded.
Just I know that men and women may worry and think "maybe he/she didn't receive my letter".
Most of men just preferred to disappear.
So maybe it depends on a person?!
So as far as I see, you'd prefer to receive such letters.
And how do you think in how many letters should a woman send you this letter(I mean if she doesn't want to go on talking to you)?

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Yes, this is the way it seem to be with most of the women... just a bit rude IMO...

I would say about 10 percent or less of the women that decided we were not a match actually wrote me. Some were friendly and wished me well, others were not so friendly... but they were very rare...

I always wrote them a letter saying I would not be writing them anymore and would try and let them know why. I think it is just a decent thing to do and all it takes is a few minutes...

Now, I do not write to women who do not know English to some extent, so I did not have to pay to get it translated... remember youlek, I am 'cheap'...

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

To tell the truth, I don't know. My ex-clients received such letters only from 3% of men, with whom they corresponded.

Maybe, but I always write and tell them anyway. Maybe others do not care or whatever?

Quote:

Just I know that men and women may worry and think "maybe he/she didn't receive my letter".
Most of men just preferred to disappear.

Again in my experience it has always been the women who did not reply. But there again I never write to men

Maybe they would think what has happened, another reason why I always write and tell them.

Quote:

So maybe it depends on a person?!

I think so, I had one lady I was preparing to visit, had been getting on very well indeed with her and was talking to her 2 or 3 times a week, then she went very quiet, I found out she had got engaged to be married, I couldn't believe this at first, but she did not return any of my letters so I sent her a nice polite egreetings card wishing her good luck on her engagement and with her future marriage and again she never replied. This was a lady who if things had been different I would have visited a month or so later on and who I thought we had a great relationship (internet and phone call wise anyway)

In this particular instance I think some other guy just beat me over to see her, although she knew I was genuine because she knew I had already been to the FSU.

Quote:

So as far as I see, you'd prefer to receive such letters.

Yes, in my opinion it is just common decency!

Quote:

And how do you think in how many letters should a woman send you this letter(I mean if she doesn't want to go on talking to you)?

As soon as she knows and is sure, why prolong things too long. She knows and we know what this internet dating game is all about, we are all adults so we make our decisions based on that and our previous experiences.

Chris

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

Now, I do not write to women who do not know English to some extent, so I did not have to pay to get it translated... remember youlek, I am 'cheap'...

It all depends. If you've been corresponding with a woman for 2-3 months. of course you musn't pay for her translation. But what if you decide to marry? Would you save money on her too?

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

I was thinking back after reading this and after initially responding to Natasha contacting just to say hi and found her profile interesting i did not get a response back for another week and i was taking my profile of the interent matching site it was on anyway as i no longer wanted to subscribe and she was the only woman that came close to sounding interesting anyway. I did not realise she was Ukraine intially. I just thought she was born there and living here. Anyway as it turns out she had sent me a long e-mail back telling a lot more of herself but my hotmail e-mail address had a lot of e-mails on it and i did not realise that the inbox puts e-mails with attachments at the back of your inbox even if the date is earlier. Hence i did not see her e-mail with pictures of her attached until i happened to be cleaning up my inbox deleting old e-mails on about the 6th page. I found her e-mail there with e-mails that were 6 months old but hers was sent about 6 days earlier. When i eventually replied i don't know what she understood about my explanation for being slow to respond as it turns out she does not know much about the interent and computers herself so hotmail, inboxes etc would have been very confusing i guess.
Anyway 2 months further of corresponding with no hassles and all of a sudden some e-mail of mine did not reach her e-mail address where it was being translated for her. I did not know that at the time so i had not sent her an e-mail for over a week because i was still had not heard back from her from my last, then i got the following:

"First I didn�t want to send you this letter, there was another one I wrote but didn�t send as there wasn�t any answer from you. Now I am confused, maybe there are some problems with the Internet connection and you don�t get my letters? Or maybe I have said something that hurt you? But then why didn�t you tell me what it is? I think it would be fair, I was coming to the company all the week, but I can�t stand this silence, maybe I was inattentive to you?

I don�t even want to think that something happened to you, I don�t want to think that you might be ill, I hope you are well.

I will appreciate it if you can tell me what is going on."

some of the obstacles of interent communication.
Sometimes things just get lost in cyberspace and it is beyond either of you to know about it

Posted by: youlek

Posted by: RRR

If after an exchange of a few letters I would always return a letter if I was not interested. Although, two I did not reply to their letter, because I couldn't decide if we should continue corresponding or not, and then a week or 2 would go by, and then one more, and one more..... Plus $20 for sending the letter, plus more for reading their response, and 1+ month have passed kept me from replying.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Yes, definitly, always.

Posted by: Chrismc

Youlek,

Well I am going to test this again and see if I get a response, I have just written a nice caring an polite letter to a lady I have been communicating with for around 3 months, basically telling her I don't see things going further and wishing her success in her search and best wishes for the future etc. She is a really nice lady, but just not for me, so lets see if she replies?

Chris

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Yes I do think the ladies are wrong for several reason and not least of all, comon decency.

It is simply "Poor Form" to leave anyone not knowing the clear answers. I know this happens in the majority of cases with both men and women, but it still doesn't make it right. The other matter which many fail to understand is this. The internet introduction world, for the people who are serious, is far smaller than most imagine. There is several forums such as this one in various languages. People talk and discuss their experiences. Often people are not named directly, but it often doesn't take much figuring out that "Ahhhh yes, I know him or her, I remember him or her saying or doing similar thing with me".

It takes only two lines to simply say that you have arrived at the decision that the two of you do not have a future. Personally, I have never gone into my reasons unless pushed, because I think that can sometimes be insulting and is often only your perception.

I think it is enough to know that the other person has decided not to continue and much more than that is only self justification.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

It all depends. If you've been corresponding with a woman for 2-3 months. of course you musn't pay for her translation. But what if you decide to marry? Would you save money on her too?

Like I had said... if she does not know English I don't write.... I did at the very beginning, but it was to hard to get to know someone... I only will do so if she can speak enough English for phone conversations... and even then there have been tough going as they don't understand English fluently... I have been told to slow down in talking so they can get it.. but still don't understand..

No, it was your previous posts about men being cheap using free sites.. I know that a wife costs a lot... and if they have some kids... well, even a lot more.. but, you can spend money and waste it or spend money and get value for it... I choose the latter..

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Youlek,

Well I am going to test this again and see if I get a response, I have just written a nice caring an polite letter to a lady I have been communicating with for around 3 months, basically telling her I don't see things going further and wishing her success in her search and best wishes for the future etc. She is a really nice lady, but just not for me, so lets see if she replies?

Chris

Hey Chris...

Well, if you wrote to her a 'Dear Jill' letter saying you are not interested... I would not expect her to respond at all... you said you did not want to hear from her anymore...

From what I understood the question... if SHE decided you were not the one, should SHE write a 'Dear John' letter to you... I still say yes. And yes to writing her one if you decide it will not work...

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

As I have already stated earlier in this thread, it is basic common decency for either party to let the other one know what they think. Unfortunately I have always been the one letting the lady know, yet on the other side of the coin I have only ever had ONE lady do the same in return.

I don't know what others do, but I know I write and let them know and if a lady did the same to me I would offer her the courtesey of a reply at the very least.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Youlek about a year ago someone else asked this question. And I had a great reply, that you need to send a letter. You don't want the person thinking something bad happened to you.

Not that I have had to write this letter recently; but in the past this is what I would write...

You are a beautiful young lady and seem to have many wonderful qualities to offer a man. So that it is way it is difficult to write this email. Although it may be different if we met in person, I do not feel like we are making a connection. For someone like yourself who is young and very attractive, I do not think you will any difficulty in meeting that special someone. I have enjoyed emailing you and I wish you the best of luck in the future.
Best wishes,
-ET

Almost always I would get a reply stating, best of luck, and never got a letter where the woman was rude or mean.

Posted by: firemansam

When I was writing to womem, I would always send a nice polite thanks but no thanks if I did not think it was working out.

99.9% of the time I would also send a short, thanks but no, to women who contacted me out of the blue but did not seem to meet with my requirements.

The only ones I NEVER replied to with such letters were the ones who wrote to me first, we exchanged a few letters and then a letter from their agency would turn up saying if you would like to continue corresponding with..... please pay us $$$$.

Never even thought twice about not replying to such ladies.....

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

Ok, cheap man, I understood you. If i was in search, and found such a picking man I wouldn't correspond with you.

Think maybe your future wife doesn't know English and you are searching among "wrong" women
To understand English fluently I studied at University for 5 years. And I can tell you I'd like my man to know min 2 foreign languages

Women, having higher education, would like to have a husband, having higher education too- not college

Being so picking, check if you match high levels too

I don't see myself with a simple worker

Posted by: youlek

How do you think in how many letters you should write what you think?
I think there is no sense if you've exchanged 4-6 letters. Am I right or wrong?

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

How do you think in how many letters you should write what you think?
I think there is no sense if you've exchanged 4-6 letters. Am I right or wrong?

Youlek Maybe you could explain your question better. 4-6 letters until what? Until it is necessary to write a letter and say I'm not interested? Some clarification....Oiy...!!!

Ok I am watching this thread a little and I sense some seperation by distinction followed by some distinction by education starting to creep in. We are not far away from where these debates usually go, which is "My education is better than yours or our education system is better than yours" and so it goes.

I would pose the question to you in your selection criteria, why is it necessary for your partner to have at least 2 foreign languages? For what purpose? Do you have a business which requires several languages which you expect him to be involved in? Maybe he doesn't want that?

You see, placing academic criteria on finding a life soul mate is about as ridiculous as placing criteria on what his or her eye colour is. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking academic acheivement and intelligence equate to the same thing.

We all want a partner with whom we can have intelligent and relevant dialogue but that is not always driven by qualifications. Language for that matter is dead unless one directs it to useful purpose. Food for thought.

BTW I have 3 languages and my fiance' has some of 5, but we both laugh about the uselessness of them because ultimately we will probably use 1 or at the maximum 2 in certain circumstances.

We both have several qualifications, but education is like money, the one and only thing it can do for you, is sometimes give you some choices.

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Youlek Maybe you could explain your question better. 4-6 letters until what? Until it is necessary to write a letter and say I'm not interested? Some clarification....Oiy...!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

I would pose the question to you in your selection criteria, why is it necessary for your partner to have at least 2 foreign languages? For what purpose? Do you have a business which requires several languages which you expect him to be involved in? Maybe he doesn't want that?

You see, placing academic criteria on finding a life soul mate is about as ridiculous as placing criteria on what his or her eye colour is. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking academic acheivement and intelligence equate to the same thing.

We all want a partner with whom we can have intelligent and relevant dialogue but that is not always driven by qualifications. Language for that matter is dead unless one directs it to useful purpose. Food for thought.

That part of my thread was for Texas. I just wanted to say if he puts some requirements for women, like speak English fluently, he must know that such women also have high requirements for men. (And he must think if he matches them) I agree everybody has the right to choose.
Just I met such men who say "Why should I learn Russian, I won't live in Russia. The woman is leaving for my country, so it is her who must learn the language of the country, she'll live"
I don't think it is right.

And as for education, it is important for me in choosing a husband. Just like hair colour is also important

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

And as for education, it is important for me in choosing a husband. Just like hair colour is also important

I got to say I got a great laugh at you on this.... but this is one of the reasons I want the lady to "I only will do so if she can speak enough English for phone conversations... " (from my previous post)... You say you speak fluent English and you missed that I did not say I wanted fluent English... but conversational English... so I guess all that learning went to waste...

Another thing... language has nothing to do with intelligence... it is a skill that some have and some don't. I don't have that skill... so I say I will not learn Russian as I could not unless I lived there and was forced to do it.. and I would be bad at it...

And BTW youlek... I am sure that I have a higher intelligence than you.. and probably higher education... and for sure higher income.. it sounds to me like you just can't stand western men... sorry you are so jaded.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Sorry if my question was not clear enough.
If you've sent/received 5-6 letters to/from a woman and then understood she is not for you. Do you send her a letter, saying what you think.
I didn't mean if you corresponded for months.

Just I met such men who say "Why should I learn Russian, I won't live in Russia. The woman is leaving for my country, so it is her who must learn the language of the country, she'll live"
I don't think it is right.

And as for education, it is important for me in choosing a husband. Just like hair colour is also important

Youlek Three points.

1) I think even if it is one or two letters exchanged, it is comon decency to put a closure line if one does not intend to continue. So yes after 4-6 letters, I would say definitely send a letter and speak your mind if you intend to close it down.

2) Unfortunately the type of attitude you cite is some people still exists. I wonder why they bother at all, because I would almost bet they never succeed in finding a foreign wife of any substance because they are simply too lazy. I admit my Russian is terrible, but slowely improving and that is actually more for the benifit of my fiance's family than anything else. At least now we can hold some kind of conversation. Certainly it helps me a bit with travel, but I can actually manage that part without language.

3) I understand that education and hair colour may be important to you but bluntly I suggest it is rather a shallow way of looking at things and although I completely support the principal of each to his or her own, I suspect you might be in for some surprises during life. That is for you to figure out.

The only reason I write on this and other boards is to assist a few who may be starting this process and share a little of what mine and I have gained along the way. It saddens me somewhat when I see people hand out bad and missleading advice, either directly or by example. I think to continue to argue an individual position,such as education or some other superficial attribute, either by advice or example, as being applicable to all is wrong. More importantly, for the freshman to this pursuit, it is bad advice.

BTW, I prefer "Brunettes" and now I am about to marry a "Blonde".

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

And BTW youlek... I am sure that I have a higher intelligence than you.. and probably higher education... and for sure higher income.. it sounds to me like you just can't stand western men... sorry you are so jaded.

Yeah, I've just seen your intelligence
I'll do you a favour and won't say what I think of you

PLus I try to respect grandfathers
Can't I stand foreign men? I don't stand such men as you are.
Fortunately not all men are like you.
Having read this forum, I've seen there are a lot of nice men, looking for their wife through the Internet.
I have a lof of male foreign friends.

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Hm, ok, I'll tell my friends to answer men even if they don't want to communicate with them
And how do you think should a woman answer to the 1st letter of a man if she doesn't like him?
As for the education question, I find it important in any case. I think it must be interesting to talk to a spouse.

Posted by: waiting123

lets try to get this thread back on track. There is no need for insulting anyone here.

Besides you all know that my edumacation is better than both of yours!!!

, and I get paid in peanuts....and I bet I make more peanuts than both of you!!!!

now be nice to each other

Posted by: youlek

Ok, back to the topic
I remember one of my ex-clients (she was 19) received a letter from a man, who was after 50.
She answered him that their age difference was too big. He sent her an angry letter in return (together with his nude pics), asking if she wanted a young boy or a mature and rich man, , plus he said that she lost America (in his face).
So it can be dangerous to answer.
He sent her several nude pics of his. She's placed them on gay sites

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Ok, back to the topic
I remember one of my ex-clients (she was 19) received a letter from a man, who was after 50.
She answered him that their age difference was too big. He sent her an angry letter in return (together with his nude pics), asking if she wanted a young boy or a mature and rich man, , plus he said that she lost America (in his face).
So it can be dangerous to answer.

it can be dangerous to cross the road aswell.
Well if i was in her shoes i would not have taken his angry response personally. It sounds like the old guy had plenty of issues he was angry at with the world. I would probably not bother replying to such an idiot and he made it clear from his response that he is not ready for a good healthy realtionship.
If i could be bothered to reply at all i would have said from her point of view "i'm after an emotionally stable person and from your response that clearly ain't you. I know where America is, I can read a map, it's not lost, but your sanity is. All the best finding it"

Quote:

He sent her several nude pics of his. She's placed them on gay sites

he he he. that is funny.
Don't get angry, get even

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

he he he. that is funny.
Don't get angry, get even

yeah, that was really funny

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Yeah, I've just seen your intelligence
I'll do you a favour and won't say what I think of you

Very interesting... I guess youth still has much to learn...

Any you don't even know me enough to say... but I can see how you don't like me because I see.... well, I will keep quiet also..

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

I would say that she never should have answered him in the first place... someone 50 writing a 19yo?? PUUULEEEEZZZEEE

BUT, I think she was wrong also... she should have just dropped it and blocked his address... doing what she did was vindictive and not called for.. Now if she had placed him on a site where other ladies look for guys... but that is not needed as he probably would never get past the first few letters anyhow...

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

His private pics and e-mail were placed on a special site (black list of foreign men) and on gays' sites

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

His private pics and e-mail were placed on a special site (black list of foreign men) and on gays' sites

Agree on the first... disagree on the second...

Putting him on a black list is what should happen... but as I had said, he wouldn't get past the first couple of letters to any woman anyhow... she would see through him in a heartbeat...

But, the gay site is like I had said, vindictive... tells me a bit about the lady who did it (and I know it wasn't you, but you did think it was funny)..

Do I care either way.. nope.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Hm, ok, I'll tell my friends to answer men even if they don't want to communicate with them
And how do you think should a woman answer to the 1st letter of a man if she doesn't like him?

Youlek Yes, I think it is a good idea to tell people to answer any letter (Unless of course it is crude) and advise the writer they are not interested, or not further interested. I think the internet introduction scence is being spoiled to some extent because people can simply hide behind their computer screen and not act with normal social decency. (Both men and women)

Your example of your 19 Y/O friend is exactly an example of why I think it is pointless to give a reason. If it is after long communication then it is different , but in early times, just a simple letter along the following lines is sufficient.

Dear Xyz,

Thank your for your interest, however, having read your profile (Or whatever) I have decided that we would not be suitable for each other. Thankyou again and good luck with your search

Rah Rah.

The moment one starts to give explanations and reasons, it shows a lack of confidence in one's own decision and attempts to justify that decision will sometimes bring stupid responses, as in your 19 Y/O's example. "Short and quick does the trick".

As for the 50 Y/O vs the 19 Y/O, it is ridiculous in the extreme for men of this age to be attempting to solicit a teenager, but it is after all the internet and you will find a great variety of people present. I would say that the 50 Y/O needs his head seriously examined, however, the 19 Y/O also needs to realise that if she wants to play in the big waters, sometimes she will meet some sharks, so if she doesn't want to take that risk, she should stay out of the water.

I have no patience for the 50 Y/O in that example, but I have no more respect for the way the 19 Y/O responded. It was childish and could only lead to further problems and there was absolutely nothing to be gained from her actions. I can understand her actions, but it does not excuse them. It was a childish response and we can only assume that she has told you everything. Very often when we drill down on such cases, we find there is more to the story than is first told.

It is never wise to draw absolute conclusions until both sides of the story have been examined.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

He sent her several nude pics of his. She's placed them on gay sites

I was wondering how my photos got on the gay web sites. And that explains why I keep getting emails from, chuck, larry, bruce, dave, etc.....

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

I was wondering how my photos got on the gay web sites. And that explains why I keep getting emails from, chuck, larry, bruce, dave, etc.....

LOL

So, here is the perpetrator!

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Yeah, I've just seen your intelligence
I'll do you a favour and won't say what I think of you

This personal attack is definitely uncalled for. We have a set of guidelines for behavior on this board. Please take a minute and familiarize yourself with them.
thank you.

Posted by: ira156

Well to get back on track....YES you should send a short letter. I would always just send a letter saying that i am sorry it doesnt work out and that i wish her the best of luck and that she will surely make the right man happy. But that it owuld be a waist of her precious time to continue corresponding.

Good manners cost nothing and are the same in any language

Posted by: Dave_N_Elvira

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

He sent her several nude pics of his. She's placed them on gay sites

Classic! I hope she used his real email address as well.

Posted by: youlek

Sorry for off-topping. But this story is great too.
I know an American attorney. He has a lot of Russian female friends. So once a woman coplained that she is tired of receiving nude pics from one man (I don't know why she didn't block his e-mail, anyway).
Guess what they've done??!!!

They've got to know his address ... printed his nude pics+ letters and sent to all his neighbours

As you can imagine he's stopped sending his pics
So if you decide to send your naked pics to any woman think of this story

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

Sorry for off-topping. But this story is great too.
I know an American attorney. He has a lot of Russian female friends. So once a woman coplained that she is tired of receiving nude pics from one man (I don't know why she didn't block his e-mail, anyway).
Guess what they've done??!!!

They've got to know his address ... printed his nude pics+ letters and sent to all his neighbours

As you can imagine he's stopped sending his pics
So if you decide to send your naked pics to any woman think of this story

Why would any one man or women want to send nude pics via email or the internet, nevermind someone they don't know? you seem to know or come across quite a lot of weirdos Youlek

Posted by: swindoom

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Why would any one man or women want to send nude pics via email or the internet, nevermind someone they don't know? you seem to know or come across quite a lot of weirdos Youlek

My wife received full frontal nude pics from a US guy, it was the first email as well. The owner of the agency had lots of fun showing them to anybody who came into her office.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by swindoom

My wife received full frontal nude pics from a US guy, it was the first email as well. The owner of the agency had lots of fun showing them to anybody who came into her office.

he he sounds like a US man thing then? must be a new way they do things over there, forget the small talk straight to the nude pics

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Why would any one man or women want to send nude pics via email or the internet, nevermind someone they don't know? you seem to know or come across quite a lot of weirdos Youlek

I have no idea. I wanted to ask you, foreign men

Posted by: youlek

wow, it worked out
One of my friends answered to a man, that he is nice, but she couldn't live in Turkey and wished his all the best
and he wished the same to her.
But it'll be rather difficult to answer to every man. It is easier just to ignore. he-he

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

But it'll be rather difficult to answer to every man. It is easier just to ignore. he-he

Not really, it depends on how many they are writing to and how many they see as not going any further. From your statement it sounds as though your friends are writing to dozens of men?

Posted by: youlek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Not really, it depends on how many they are writing to and how many they see as not going any further. From your statement it sounds as though your friends are writing to dozens of men?

no, but they receive a lot of letters, but they choose 4-5 men for answering

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

he he sounds like a US man thing then? must be a new way they do things over there, forget the small talk straight to the nude pics

Yes it is the modern way of picking up women, just like the old days when men would go to the park and flash strange women. You have the same success rate.

Posted by: clark

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

Yes it is the modern way of picking up women, just like the old days when men would go to the park and flash strange women. You have the same success rate.

I suppose they are both still an improvement over the caveman days when men would club the women over the head.......LOL

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Youlek

wow, it worked out
One of my friends answered to a man, that he is nice, but she couldn't live in Turkey and wished his all the best
and he wished the same to her.
But it'll be rather difficult to answer to every man. It is easier just to ignore. he-he

Quote:

I respect your honesty and revelation. Probably, in depth of my mind and my soul I have similar thoughts. I agree with you completely. Both of us are good persons, but each of us should find only himself half. There is no sense to continue the correspondence if in soul there is no something greater, than simply friendly attitudes. You are very lovely person and it was very pleasant for me to communicate with you. I wish you success.

So back to the topic, what is wrong with two people being civil and acting like adults and doing what is right? I wrote to her and told her quite honestly the reasons I did not want to correspond with her anymore and she replied. No harm done, we both know where we are with each other and we both feel that we can move on with no regrets.

Chris

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

What have I been telling you and the other guys too, what is wrong with sending a nice short polite email explaining the situation, a common courtesy. It works!

and today I received a reply to my email, I did expect one from this lady though, I just get that feeling she is a nice lady but just not for me, so that is only two out of quite a few that have replied.

This is some of her reply

So back to the topic, what is wrong with two people being civil and acting like adults and doing what is right? I wrote to her and told her quite honestly the reasons I did not want to correspond with her anymore and she replied. No harm done, we both know where we are with each other and we both feel that we can move on with no regrets.

Chris
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And...And .....And.......who just happens to know when he or she has a friend or colleague whom just might be the one you or she is seeking?

Being polite and civil in this way, closes one door, but it potentially opens up several others. By going this road, you both know you are not for each other, but you do have a little understanding of each other's character.

Word does get around these online forums and dating sites very quickly.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Precisely :-)

Posted by: ///Tarik

Quote:

Originally Posted by youlek

no, but they receive a lot of letters, but they choose 4-5 men for answering

I agree with all others about replies and other rah rah. But here is my weird 3AM theory. Besides some ladies receiving a lot of mail that they may not be able to reply to as fast as they receive them, but that is in the initial stage. Possibly, that Eastern European ways of communication are based on a lot of underlying signs, ways and hints that are not necessarily directly communicable. So after 5-6 emails, you suddenly get no reply, you should get an idea on your own, no words needed and all is self explanatory...... the woman is no longer interested. Of course it is Internet and we, on this side of the pond, can intelligently come to a conclusion on our own, except her mailbox may be fulll, she lost her password, her computer was stolen, she went to visit her grandma in the other city or was kidnapped..... but still I think that part of no reply and notify behaviour that we would appreciate so much over here is based on "draw your own conclusions" and "actions speak louder than words" type of ideas.......

PS: Youlek, just really had to comment on something here. Your "cheap Western men" comments. Come over here and live here for a while, and you will see and understand that just like in the FSU people are different but the attitudes towards money are different and they definitely do not grow on trees over here.....

Posted by: azamuner

I have written a few women before and if I decide that she probably won't be the one for me, I will acknowledge this and tell them in a letter. There have been 1 or 2 occasions where I did not bother to write back...usually if their last letter shows signs of selfish behavior or materialistic needs.

I know, or at least I think I know, exactly what I am looking for and will not compromise this because I would be only cheating myself and the other person of living the life they want.

N

Posted by: scotch

Privyet Youlek,

interesnaya thema.

Sorry, I haven't read all the replies to this survey ..

.. but I was in the online dating scene for a few years before I met my honey .. I don't mean only the russian online scene .. mainly aussie

I never sent letters to say 'you aren't right for me', and I never received any in return. If it didn't work it faded out and there were no ill feelings.

Usually both people know after a while if it's working or not. It doesn't come down to ethics or morals or politeness or whatever Ive seen posted here .. it comes down to whether you think you are leading a person on or not.

If there is no connection then it's bloody obvious unless you're a dating virgin, and I really don't think there is any need for 'closure'. Closure in this instance only serves to fan the closee's ego.

If however there is a chick that is hooked on you but you would rather poke your eye out with a needle, then yeah, it's a good thing to say 'it isn't working, let's move on'.

Try to remember that in the early stages you're probably not the only guy she is writing to. So if you fade out after a short time she isn't going to care too much. Just because a girl writes to you doesn't mean she thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread.

moy dva roubla

scotch.