DOES SHE LOVE ME, OR AM I JUST A PASSPORT

Originally Posted by vic2012

There are many small things which she has said and done, over a long period, which, when added up, makes me feel that, this is for real. These are gestures, words of comfort and advice, worrying about you, interest in what you are doing and of course, how her voice changes and becomes mellifluous when she speaks with you. Things that she wouldn’t bother with if, she felt that, you were just a passport.

And I think that, it is all these small things you must look for, if you really want to know where you stand in any long distance relationship.

Originally Posted by swindoom

These are important questions we all have to think about, it does not matter where she is from or the age gap and no-one can answer the questions for you. All you can do is try to think about the relationship rationally/logically, if that is actually possible.

You are right in saying that the small things she says or does speaks volumes about about how she really feels.

Originally Posted by firemansam

I know that in Tyumen, I had not 1 but 3 women (being my girl, mother and daughter) all very much looking out for my safety and happiness 200% of the time I was there. It was a little stifling at times but then I just ran the "mother hen" scenario through my head and I was able to handle being dressed (or whatever) by three women....

Originally Posted by vic2012

There has been much discussion on RMP about why we look at FSU as a source for a long term partner. But having found her, what makes you believe you have found THE ONE!

Originally Posted by GoeastLJ

This very timely for me because I just went to meet a very nice lady in Kiev who I had only communicated with for a couple of months. During the communication, we felt good for each other and she told me that she just felt that I was the one.

When we met, I was very pleased with her and she said she was very pleased with me. We spent 3 good days together and she said she would like us to be together because she really thought I was THE ONE. Although I felt very good about us, I became very unsure when she started talking about starting processing the papers. We even went to the British Embassy to look at what we needed to do to get her here. I was more interested in us having more meetings and learning more about each other. Her apparent eagerness to start processing the papers has made me very jittery and I am about to tell her that I think things are going too fast for me and that I will withdraw from the whole thing. She is a lovely lady and all our communications were very good.

I don't have the confident feeling that I hoped for inside me and so it is a big red flag for me.

Originally Posted by vic2012

Mike,
This thread was a spin-off from another, about age difference. The question was asked about the motives of women who emigrate to marry much older men. Is it possible for them to love their partner, or are they simply economic migrants.

I thought that the same question could be asked of ANY relationship. After all, many women travel to be with their man after just one visit from him.

So, this poll and thread was opened to gauge and hear the views of guys who have been through, or are in the process of, bringing their RW to live with them. How confident do they feel?

At this early stage, the poll shows that, 'I am 100% certain that, she loves me' is the most popular option.

However, not many voters have also posted views. It would be interesting to know why you feel or felt so certain about your partner.

One further question:
Does marrying your partner make you feel more safe in the relationship?

Originally Posted by Chrismc

The problem I see with this pole Vic is who is going to admit that their lady does not love them when they first ask them to marry them?

Originally Posted by vic2012

The poll is anonymous. But you are quite right Chris, I would have thought options 2 & 3 would have been the most popular.

I've read on threads previously of surveys, where the mojority of RW who came to the US (and took part in the surveys) admitted that, they didn't love their partner when they arrived and had hoped to grow to love them. So where does that leave the men? Did they know this?

Personally, I would now answer 2. But last year, when I went for the visa, I would have answered 2 then, as well. But it all fell apart. Look at GTR, who has been so open and honest about his partner.

Mike,
No one is remotely suggesting that, you use a poll to determine what decision you take.

This is much more a question of: 'am I alone in feeling the wayI do' Theres a little part of me that says 'I'll believe it when I see it'. And thats why I cannot answer 1.

Originally Posted by AkMike

Who runs their life based off of a poll?
Are you going to dump her if we say so?
Will you marry her if we say so?
Will we get the blame if it doesn't work out too?

Originally Posted by bingism

Well.... I don't know if Zhanna "really" loves me, but I've got nothing to offer except myself (good and bad)... no Western paycheck and definitely not an easy character! So, I guess that because she's still with me must mean she loves me or she;s plain desperate. Option 2 can't be true because she's just too damn beautiful.... I guess she must love me... heaven knows why!? Oh well, her problem... hehe! If you're happy, then happiness will follow....

Originally Posted by bingism

Well.... I don't know if Zhanna "really" loves me, but I've got nothing to offer except myself (good and bad)... no Western paycheck and definitely not an easy character! So, I guess that because she's still with me must mean she loves me or she;s plain desperate. Option 2 can't be true because she's just too damn beautiful.... I guess she must love me... heaven knows why!? Oh well, her problem... hehe! If you're happy, then happiness will follow....

Originally Posted by bobjf

red flags arn't allways what they seem
most rw's don't play about time wise in a relatsionship so if you got on ok with her,i'd spin it out a bit before you frow in the towel,just might be a huge mistake not to
by all means be carefull but don't cut your nose off to spite your face
cheers

Originally Posted by GoeastLJ

Thanks, Bob. Yes, we really had good time together and everything felt right, but what is lacking on my side is what has been mentioned elsewhere on this forum - good feel in the tummy. We talk 3 - 4 times a week and and exchange sms daily, but I see that she still logs onto EM's when we had promised each other that we were not going to look any more. I sent her an email a few days ago telling her that I was throwing in the towel because I didn't feel good about the whole thing, but she phoned me and we had a long chat about it. She thinks we are right for each other and she would like us to be together. I am still not sure and I am more inclined to sever the relationship than to plod on when my heart is not in it. She is a terrific woman, with a good job and an economics degree.