for Russian women: what is the difference between Russian men, and Western men?

Originally Posted by royalpalace774

Every time I ask a RW why she Doen't have a boyfriend in her home town of Russia or FSU she says to me that the Russian men drink WAY TOO MUCH and don't have the proper respect for the women and the Russian men like to have many women on the side.

Every RW that I speak with tells me she feels that the U S men are more dedicated to family and more responsible with taking care of important family matters.

These are some questions I have asked and some answers that I have received.

Originally Posted by Tatysik

Well, I might be the luckiest woman , because I've got the best man in the world. :-)
I don't think that we can really divide russian men and western men like russian women and western women. Everywhere there are some nice men and nice women,and they can make a nice family. Not every Russian man is a drunken wife beater! Most men there treat their wives as well as you guys do.
There are still some both men and women that lost their jobs when the Soviet Union fell apart, and they were not able to support their familys. They left their familys and moved out. This was a very sad time in our history.
The women that are looking for a western man are looking for a good man for love and security. It is hard for a single/divorced woman to live in the FSU economicly. Many have heard of the better life available here. Most seek the warmth of a good home.
I think the most of divorces or break-ups happened because the man and woman do not get along very well with each other. They do not match, just like here in the US. Everywhere there is this problem.
Yes, there is a problem of drinking in the FSU, but I know that some western men like to drink also. Same with a having women on the side(girlfriend). From my experience, I can tell you that the most of men I've had dealings with in Ukraine, say to women "You can ask me for everything, but NEVER ask for money or for marrige". So russian women spoil the russian men to keep some security and warmth. The men got used to having everything from a woman they want for free: food,clean shirt and so forth... The women want a future and it doesn't seem like there is one there.
My experience living with American shows me that he can appriciate everything I've done for him. And it makes me to do more and more for him :-)
In my opinion it is the most difference between Russian and American (I can not say about all western men, I didn't have enough of experience)it is the ability to be appriciate to woman for what she is doing for him.

Originally Posted by Tatysik

I guess American men are not spoiled by American women yet.

Originally Posted by markgm

Hi Tanya

I think you are correct and it is these qualities and many more of Russian and Ukrainian women that attract us to them.
One thing i really do notice in my country these days is pride in appearance most of our women here in Australia do not take pride in how they, there children and husbands look these days.

Originally Posted by ElenaK

What can I add to already told here? My own experience shows that it is almost impossible to fine a dissent man in Russia for a serious relationship for an over thirty year old woman with a child. Why? From my point of view there are a few main reasons for that. Fist of all, male population is less then female. And it is not a statistical data; it is my voice of experience only. Many times my girl-friends and I went out to a restaurant or theater, or a concert in hope to meet someone. And usually we spent our time in the surrounding of pretty young women. Every time when I saw a male individual on horizon and got ready to flirt someone younger and more beautiful crossed my path. My home city has a nickname “City of brides”. My husband only confirmed this statement when he came to see me in Russia at fist time. He was very impressed with the beauty of the Penza women. Competition between women for a man’s heart is very high there. So, Russian men are very spoiled by a women attention and they do not want to build a serious relationship. They get everything they want without any commitments. Many marriages of my girl-friends fell a part because husbands had affairs. It become very popular among Russian men to have a wife and besides that a few lovers. Many times I’ve got an offer from very wealthy but unfortunately married men to be their secret lover. How Tanya has told here woman in Russia feels betrayed and unsecured. Here is one and the main reason why Russian women try to find a husband and love abroad. Another reason that I want to mention about is Russian men are very bad family providers. In the majority family woman is a head provider and a basis of family well-being. Even after divorce men refuse to pay a child support or take care of their own kids. It would be dishonest to say that all Russian men are villains and slackers. Probably I just was not lucky enough to meet a right guy there……… I am happy right now because I am loved and love. My husband shows appreciation and respect to me as a person. He never lies or cheats. He treats my son like his own. He supports our family. Of course, we have disagreements, like any other family. But I feel confidence that he always will be for me and in happiness and in grief.

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

interesting perspective that russian women view their men as reflections of themselves. i had not heard this stated this way before. thank you for posting. i would be very proud to let myself be a reflection of such a fine woman as the many that are found in the fsu. a ukrainian woman said to me last summer, "our men are undisciplined and they try to make us the same way." she went on to say, "look at the way they drive. they have no respect for rules." pin boy

Originally Posted by Shahi

You have good and bad in any country, i am married to a Russian lady but i would not abuse my own ladies in England, there are many beautiful ladies in England but its about meeting the right lady for you and Russian men are not all bad there are some very good Russian men. Shahi

Originally Posted by Tatysik

I guess American men are not spoiled by American women yet. Once we were at a wedding ceremony of our friend. He's had unsuccessful trip to Ukraine then he got married with an American lady. I was so surprised when I saw him at the wedding ceremony in a jeans and wrinkled t-shirt. I pretty sure that no one Russian women would allow him to be like that at their wedding ceremony! But bride didn't care about it!!!

Originally Posted by Tatysik

HI again.
I just have something to add. I think the culture we grew up in is the main feature that created a difference between men and woman.
My Grandmother who raised me, always told me that everyone is going to judge you by your man. If he is messy, irresponsible, looks unhappy, it is all your fault! I guess American men are not spoiled by American women yet. Once we were at a wedding ceremony of our friend. He's had unsuccessful trip to Ukraine then he got married with an American lady. I was so surprised when I saw him at the wedding ceremony in a jeans and wrinkled t-shirt. I pretty sure that no one Russian women would allow him to be like that at their wedding ceremony! But bride didn't care about it!!!
This is just a little example of difference from cultures that create the different attitudes between russian women and men. If the men can see how his bride,girlfriend or wife irons his suit and shirt,how much she is trying to do somthing to make him smile. She cares how he looks and feels because it is a reflection of her too.I'm sure he would do same for her.How do you think guys, wouldn't he?
I think that it shows because the American woman doesn't seem to know this rule? I know that there are many American women who care but there are alot that don't seem to care about this.

Originally Posted by Tatysik

Sure we are doing everything for our husbands because we love them. But here is the same rule: Tell me, hwo you friend is and I'll tell you hwo you are.
Same reflection...
If woman loves the man she WILL care about him for any reason. But my friend would really tell me that I am a bad wife if my husband I love looks messy,... or I don't love him...

Originally Posted by Jill

Well, and the other issueis that this is a grown man, not a child and frankly he should be able to dress himself by now. Although a wife may care about how her husband dresses, I think she ultimately needs to respect her husband's decisions/opinions--he is an adult after all. If he makes decisions that she can't live with, maybe she needs to find someone else. I don't believe wife and mother are synonymous and I think nagging and criticizing do more to destroy a marriage than to strengthen it. I already have one child whom I dress and whose nose I wipe-- my adult husband is mature and intelligent enough to dress himself

Originally Posted by Legal

I can not say anything bad about Russian men. I know some Russian good man but they are married or too young

To date two types of men predominate in Russia: infantile man and man - despot, about the golden mean I wrote above.

Olga.

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

I just want to say something about the 'cheating' men... IT TAKES TWO...

There would be no cheating men if it was not for women who allowed it to happen.. as the one poster noted, she knew it was married men who proposed to her to have sex on the side.. she could have said 'yes'... and then is it only the man's fault?? Yes, he is guilty of cheating on his wife and must live with it... but there are women involved in this also...

BTW, I can see the 'reflection' part... I saw the woman light into her son when he fell down and was dirty all over... he was upset and crying... I asked her what she said... she said he looked like a pig... I think that is something very bad to call someone....

Originally Posted by Testman

I can certainly tell, by the women in the USA who posted in this thread, that it's true, the stereotype that Eastern European women are more carrying to their husbands.

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Yes but their culture is different then ours and therefore their values, which makes them different.

Originally Posted by Ade

No, cultural differences don't necessarily equate to value differences, as any anthropologist would tell you.

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

If women from the FSU aren't different then western women, then why do we pursue them or perfer them over western women?

Originally Posted by inlove

Because to realize how similar they are, you have to live together for a while, not "pursue" them..

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Pursue means to find and get to know. You must do this first before you live with them.

Yes all women have specific needs and so do men. But I enjoy FSU women more then western women because the women from the FSU I have met have higher morals and values ... they are different because of their culture/up bringing.

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

If women from the FSU aren't different then western women, then why do we pursue them or perfer them over western women?

Originally Posted by Ade

No, cultural differences don't necessarily equate to value differences, as any anthropologist would tell you.

My wife comes from a different culture, but her values are the same as mine. That's a fact, and no theorising makes any difference.

Look at the US presidential stuff going on now; to a lot of people in the UK, it may be interesting but non-sensical - surely the political parties should be deciding who leads them, not asking the public? surely serious political issues should be decided with an element of decorum, not look like they are being conducted at a McDonald's children's party (really, with all those banners and balloons, you all look a bit silly to us). So we in the UK have a demonstrably different culture to you in the US, but would you deny we have similar values?

Originally Posted by deccie

Would this include your former wife and what she did to you?

Originally Posted by Ade

No, cultural differences don't necessarily equate to value differences, as any anthropologist would tell you.

My wife comes from a different culture, but her values are the same as mine. That's a fact, and no theorising makes any difference.

Look at the US presidential stuff going on now; to a lot of people in the UK, it may be interesting but non-sensical - surely the political parties should be deciding who leads them, not asking the public? surely serious political issues should be decided with an element of decorum, not look like they are being conducted at a McDonald's children's party (really, with all those banners and balloons, you all look a bit silly to us). So we in the UK have a demonstrably different culture to you in the US, but would you deny we have similar values?

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Pursue means to find and get to know. You must do this first before you live with them.

Yes all women have specific needs and so do men. But I enjoy FSU women more then western women because the women from the FSU I have met have higher morals and values ... they are different because of their culture/up bringing.

Originally Posted by inlove

You must be surrounded by people with questionable morals, I guess...Or maybe your idea of high morals and values is different from mine.. Would you also see FSU scammers, golddiggers, etc. as people with higher morals and values?
When you are pursuing somebody, you are chasing a dream, somewhat.. How the reality is going to be, you don't know yet. Sometimes the dream can change in a nightmare, unfortunately..

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

HE HE HE - I don't know about being surrounded by people with low morals but maybe. I just find it very difficult to trust people that aren't family members or someone I've known for a very long time and therefore don't know their morals.

No I'm not chasing a dream. My first visit to my fiancee was anything but this. I went with the mind set that it a vacation and I will not fall in love ... but I did anyway.

No I don't think scammers have high morals. But I have never met one. As I said, the FSU women I've met seem to have higher morals and values then western women.

Yes dreams do turn into nightmares. There are currently 3 or 4 members who's dream has turned into a nightmare.

Thanks for you mind probing questions inlove.

Originally Posted by Testman

Well, since my last post to this thread, I have been to Ukraine and had tremendous results. The very first date I got, the woman asked me for a second date, then called all the office ladies to tell them how much she wanted a second date. That is one tremendous difference from the American women I have been around. Most American women look hideous, smell bad, AND on top of all that, have the audacity to think they are so hot. Plus, VERY few AW I have met want to date, only sex. FSU certainly DO have higher morals.

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Yep you certainly notice whats on your own doorstep a lot more after coming back home

I know you said you were ill, but did you see much of Kharkov, I loved my time there and still keep in touch with people there.

Originally Posted by Testman

I hated having to go back home to the states. If I was loaded with cash and could retire already, I would move there. I actually liked it that well. I'm surprised more rich retirees don't move there.