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2 VERY NICE WOMEN TO CHOOSE FROM, NOW WHAT DO I DO?

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Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
As of today I have a problem. But some of you might consider this not a problem , but a GOOD thing.

Here is my problem:

I have been talking on the phone with my very nice women from Novosibirsk for 2 weeks now and I plan on going to visit her within a few months. And this is going rather well in my opinion. We speak every day for at least an hour to an hour and a half.

There has been another women I have been trying to reach & I finally got a hold of her this afternoon for the 1st time.

She is a very nice girl from Odessa. I met her on Elena's Models also like the 1st women. I called her at 7PM Ukraine time and she finally answered. She works alot and she will not answer her phone when she is with clients at work.

She is 38 yrs old with no children and has allready been to the U S and married a man from Penn. The marriage lasted 3 months .

She said she feared for her life at times with this man and decided it was best to get divorced and go back to Odessa. She said he was not the same person in Odessa as he was in his own territory.

She even said there were some things in Odessa that bothered her when she met him in person, but she did not think it was of any thing that would be so bad. But she was wrong about him. It turned out bad.

She has a good job as an accountant in Odessa and she is very beautiful in her profile photos. No sexual or provocotive poses. Just a nice classy photos.

She speaks perfect English. She is a 5 on a 5 scale for English.

My problem is this:
We spoke today for about 2 hours and I really felt that there was a great connection. It was just so incredibly easy to talk with her. We laughed and joked and talked about what we both want for our future. And she also told me she loves talking with me and she was so happy that we think alike in our wants for the future.

I told her that I was in Odessa 9 weeks ago. And I was totally honest with her about going there to meet a women. I told her that it didn't work out between me and the other women and I truly wished the best for the other women. And she said that was very nice of me to feel that way about the other women. She thought I was very considerate to not hold a grudge and want the best for others even if it didn't work out.

I just told her that I wish happiness for all people and everyone deserves to feel good about their life and who they spend their time with. Especially if they choose to get married to each other. She said she loved this quality in me and she likes that I had a positive attitude about many things in life.

I told her about some restaurants that I went to in Odessa 9 weeks ago, and she realized that I am very serious in my intentions of finding a RW. I wanted her to know that I was really there in Odessa. I told her bout places I went to and she also knows about these same places.

She said she can tell by our conversation and the fact that I really went to Odessa that I was 100% for real in my intentions in finding a RW> And she was very happy to know this.

Just the fact that she speaks perfect English was such a plus. She told me all about her family and family history going back into the 1940's And when Stalin was in office and about her parents who are still married and together . She told me about her grandparents.

Then I told her a little about my family. When I told her that my grandparents came to the U S from Russia in the 1940's she just about fell of her chair. She sounded so happy to know that I had Russian blood in me.

She said she felt like we all ready had an understanding because of me having Russian blood from my grandparents.

So now I will call her again tomorrow and also I will call the other women from Russia also.

I know that my talks with this women from Odessa are going to be wonderful and I can tell that I will want to also visit her in a short time also.

My forum buddies, What do you think my plan should be to see both of these great potential RW ? I am really wondering how this will all turn out. I know that if I visit RW #1 in Kiev I can easily get a flight to Odessa and then see RW #2.

At this point I know I want to see both of these women. But I dont think I can tell each of them about the other or I will get sent to hell. Am I doing anything wrong by seeing both and not telling them about this.


Any comments on my good problem ?


Posted by: vic2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
I dont think I can tell each of them about the other or I will get sent to hell. Am I doing anything wrong by seeing both and not telling them about this.
No. But as soon as you start making any commitments to one, then you become honour bound to tell the other.

The problem is, what do you say, when you are asked whether you are in communication with any one else!
If you are going to juggle (nothing wrong with that), you will have to be ready to answer awkward questions.


Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Royal,

Thanks for honestly posting your dilemna...

I personally would trust your longer and more regular connection that you had with the firsy lady-- I don't think that you can get a good sense about whether a person is compatable from one or three phone calls.

If you DO want to meet them both, then I think that the best thing is to be honest, even if it might both one or both of the women.

At least, they will feel that you are an honest person (even if you are not doing what they prefer).

In honesty, you can have a pure conscience, even though there is a risk that one or both of the women (more so the first woman who you have been speaking too more extensively) will not want to continue communicating with you.

That is my feedback.

Good luck with making the right decision.

Khashyar


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khashyar
Hi Royal,

Thanks for honestly posting your dilemna...

I personally would trust your longer and more regular connection that you had with the firsy lady-- I don't think that you can get a good sense about whether a person is compatable from one or three phone calls.

If you DO want to meet them both, then I think that the best thing is to be honest, even if it might both one or both of the women.

At least, they will feel that you are an honest person (even if you are not doing what they prefer).

In honesty, you can have a pure conscience, even though there is a risk that one or both of the women (more so the first woman who you have been speaking too more extensively) will not want to continue communicating with you.

That is my feedback.

Good luck with making the right decision.

Khashyar


Thanks Khashyar,
I know that it is to early to tell about RW #2. But I intend to keep talking with her as much as possible. I told her that I would call her again tomorrow afternoon.

I have a good feeling about RW #2. I know that things could change in a second, but our convesation was so easy and not forced. It really felt very natural. And I also feel very good about RW #1.

My whole dilema is going to be in a few weeks after talking with both of them for a while. I allready know that RW #1 wants to meet me in Kiev soon.

I just have that gut instinct that RW #2 is going to be tied for 1st place in a few weeks. I could be wrong , but I really feel that this could probably happen. It is just so easy to talk with her. We talked for about 2 hours this afternoon. I also know that anything could change .

Do I have to just come out and tell both of them that I am meeting someone else if they don't ask me? Or do I just wait to see if they ask me if I intend to meet any other women.

Is it in my best interest and both of the RW's interest to just tell them even if they don't ask ?

I could possibly loose the chance of meeting both just because I told them .

Strange situation I must say!


Posted by: Khashyar

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
Thanks Khashyar,
I know that it is to early to tell about RW #2. But I intend to keep talking with her as much as possible. I told her that I would call her again tomorrow afternoon.

I have a good feeling about RW #2. I know that things could change in a second, but our convesation was so easy and not forced. It really felt very natural. And I also feel very good about RW #1.

My whole dilema is going to be in a few weeks after talking with both of them for a while. I allready know that RW #1 wants to meet me in Kiev soon.

I just have that gut instinct that RW #2 is going to be tied for 1st place in a few weeks. I could be wrong , but I really feel that this could probably happen. It is just so easy to talk with her. We talked for about 2 hours this afternoon. I also know that anything could change .

Do I have to just come out and tell both of them that I am meeting someone else if they don't ask me? Or do I just wait to see if they ask me if I intend to meet any other women.

Is it in my best interest and both of the RW's interest to just tell them even if they don't ask ?

I could possibly loose the chance of meeting both just because I told them .

Strange situation I must say!



I hear and understand what you are saying, Royal.

If you are going to communicate and move ahead with them both (to understand for yourself who might be the best match for yourself), then I would make it clear to them that you cannot make a commitment to them until you meet in person and see whether the relationship feels right to the both of you.

I really wouldn't give any of them the impression (implied or direct) that you are making a commitment to just be with them or to communicate with them.

I just don't think it is the right thing to do because it is going to hurt someone, and you don't want to be responsible for hurting anyone.

Just tell them both that no two people can make a decision about a relationship over the phone (even though you really like the correspondence so far), and that when you meet in person, then the two of you can make a decision to be committed or not. I think that the reasonable person would understand that.

Also, if you are not going to make a commitment to any of them before you meet them in person, why not meet several people while you're there so that you can meet as many people as possible.

But, I really believe that the important thing is to be honest-- I really do, even though it might feel hard.

You want to feel good and clear in your conscience, and not hurt anyone.

Khashyar


Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khashyar
I hear and understand what you are saying, Royal.

If you are going to communicate and move ahead with them both (to understand for yourself who might be the best match for yourself), then I would make it clear to them that you cannot make a commitment to them until you meet in person and see whether the relationship feels right to the both of you.

I really wouldn't give any of them the impression (implied or direct) that you are making a commitment to just be with them or to communicate with them.

I just don't think it is the right thing to do because it is going to hurt someone, and you don't want to be responsible for hurting anyone.

Just tell them both that no two people can make a decision about a relationship over the phone (even though you really like the correspondence so far), and that when you meet in person, then the two of you can make a decision to be committed or not. I think that the reasonable person would understand that.

Also, if you are not going to make a commitment to any of them before you meet them in person, why not meet several people while you're there so that you can meet as many people as possible.

But, I really believe that the important thing is to be honest-- I really do, even though it might feel hard.

You want to feel good and clear in your conscience, and not hurt anyone.

Khashyar


Great answer Khashyar, I do agree. By being honest and declaring that you (Royal) need to meet them before a commitment can be made, lets say, there will also be a response from each of them from your honesty and you will see how each responds.


Posted by: Dave_N_Elvira

From what you said about RW #2 she was already engaged to a western man, moved to the states for 3 months and returned home after things did not work out. Not sure how immigration over there would treat her if she applied for another fiancée visa. Maybe its just me but I would be putting the warning signs up.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Thanks guys for your comments,
I want you all to know that I have not made any commitments to RW #1 or #2. My RW #1 has the understanding that we must 1st meet in person and spend some time together before either one of us will decide what we would like to happen. She knows that we will meet and we both need to feel the same about moving forward. She said it takes 2 not 1. So this is understood by her.

RW #1 has said to me that it is wonderful talking on the phone , but it is very much a different thing when we are together in person. She said things can change but hopefully they will not.

And she is right. I agree totally. I went to Odessa 9 weeks ago and spent 7 days with a women that I talked with everyday for 6 months. I thought everything was going to turn out exactly as I planned. But it went the total opposite way 9 weeks ago. I was totally amazed that it didn't work out because I consider myself to be a good decent looking , hardworking and funny and cool guy that's in great physical shape. But I guess you just can't please everyone.

RW #2 was married to the U S man in Penn. for 6 months. So she spent a total of 9 months in Penn. And then returned to Odessa and then got divorced while in Odessa.

RW #2 said it got so bad with the husband in Penn that she had bought herself the plane tickets back to Odessa and he found them and ripped them up. She said he refused to let her have any friends and didn't like her to speak with anyone except him.

She said she noticed in Odessa when this man came to visit her that he would not like to spend time around her family or friends. She said he was in her parents home on 1 New Years eve and he went into the kitchen and told everyone in the house that he didnt want to be with them and went into his room.
RW#2 said that after this incident that her parents could not get to sleep that night because they were so upset. But they told her that it's her decision to make to marry and they will not stop her . And they didn't stop her. They just told her they didn't think that it was going to work out.

So yes, I have not made any commitments . I have only said I was coming to visit to see if there was a possibility of it turning into marriage.

But I want to do the right thing and I would never want to hurt any one of these women.

I just want to make the right choice if they both turn out to be gems. It's a strange boat to be in.

There was a time back in the day when I played in rock & roll bands and had my pick every night. But those days are long gone and I took advantage of it back then and loved every minute of it.

Now I want the real deal for life!

The hardest part is gonna be what to do if they are both incredible women and they both want to be with me. I dont want any one to get hurt. It would tear me up knowing that I was causing someone any kind of emotional pain.

I just feel that after what I went through 9 weeks ago in Odessa that I shouldn't put all the eggs in 1 basket. If I knew what I know now my Odessa trip 9 weeks ago I would have done alot of things different there but I was a little blind because I invested 6 months into someone that wasn't the same in person as they were on the phone.


This is hard and I have a feeling it's gonna get harder in a few weeks.

Any thoughts are appreciated.


Posted by: Khashyar

I'm glad that you're really thinking this through carefully and thoughtfully, royal.

I think that you need to meet someone in person to REALLY know what kind of person they are: you have to meet their family and friends, see how they relate to their parents, and just sit for hours and spend in-person time together.

Meeting in person will tell you a lot about your INITIAL compatibility, but then I think that you should reinforce your feelings over time, and after you have gone home.

It takes time to get to know a person (as I have written in many threads ).

Khashyar


Posted by: Texas Proud

Hey Royal,

I will give my 2 cents....

Like other people... BE HONEST.. it sounds like you are an honest person, so don't even start as you will be found out anyhow... it is hard for honest people to lie... I know.. If it was me, I would tell both of them that I was going to meet with someone else... and this was our first meeting to see if there is chemistry...

Now, some women will be very upset. I had a few women who stopped writing me when they found out I was writing to others... good riddence (sp.).. but these women are smart and know what happens... most expect that you are there to meet with 'others' even if you don't say you are.. and when I went to meet the first lady, she asked me right away... so expect to hear this question when you arrive if you are not asked before you go..

BUT, tell them the truth... that you are not 'shopping around', but that you have a connection with both and want to see how it is in person with both..

And then be honest with yourself... if you are blown away by one of them but she has 'baggage' and the other one doesn't... well, baggage can go away... don't make a short term decision for a long term event...


Posted by: chippie

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
Thanks guys for your comments,


So yes, I have not made any commitments . I have only said I was coming to visit to see if there was a possibility of it turning into marriage.

But I want to do the right thing and I would never want to hurt any one of these women.

I just want to make the right choice if they both turn out to be gems. It's a strange boat to be in.

The hardest part is gonna be what to do if they are both incredible women and they both want to be with me. I dont want any one to get hurt. It would tear me up knowing that I was causing someone any kind of emotional pain.

I just feel that after what I went through 9 weeks ago in Odessa that I shouldn't put all the eggs in 1 basket. If I knew what I know now my Odessa trip 9 weeks ago I would have done alot of things different there but I was a little blind because I invested 6 months into someone that wasn't the same in person as they were on the phone.


This is hard and I have a feeling it's gonna get harder in a few weeks.

Any thoughts are appreciated.


Hey Royal,
I'm in Belarus in the internet cafe and read your post. I think that you learned that "putting ALL your eggs in one basket" might not be a good idea as you found out 9 weeks ago.
I returned to Belarus 2 weeks ago to be with Irina with whom i was engaged and she informed me that she didn't want to move to the states. I am fortunate that I had a back-up plan with an agency and have dated a few women. The one last night was beautiful, humble, and very personable. Things are looking up.
I would be honest with them, and see both. i really think that you will find that "chemistry" with just one, but which one??
Dave also brings up a good point about a fiancee visa for RW#2. You might want to check with the Embassy in her area.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

chippie


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khashyar
I hear and understand what you are saying, Royal.

If you are going to communicate and move ahead with them both (to understand for yourself who might be the best match for yourself), then I would make it clear to them that you cannot make a commitment to them until you meet in person and see whether the relationship feels right to the both of you.

I really wouldn't give any of them the impression (implied or direct) that you are making a commitment to just be with them or to communicate with them.

I just don't think it is the right thing to do because it is going to hurt someone, and you don't want to be responsible for hurting anyone.

Just tell them both that no two people can make a decision about a relationship over the phone (even though you really like the correspondence so far), and that when you meet in person, then the two of you can make a decision to be committed or not. I think that the reasonable person would understand that.

Also, if you are not going to make a commitment to any of them before you meet them in person, why not meet several people while you're there so that you can meet as many people as possible.

But, I really believe that the important thing is to be honest-- I really do, even though it might feel hard.

You want to feel good and clear in your conscience, and not hurt anyone.

Khashyar


RP

Khashyar has made some very points and honesty is probably one of the most important, let me tell you a little story.

Around the middle of last year I was exactly in the same position as you are now, I was comunicating with two very nice ladies, one from Ukrain, one from Russia, I was totally honest with both of them and told them if things continued I would go and see them, and once I agree or promiose something I always do it, I also told them both I was speaking to another lady, so they knew the position, this was a risk on my part, but as it turned out they both thanked me for it and wanted to continue writing and speaking with me, this then became a double edgede swoird for me because things got better and better with both of them and it got to a point where I knew I was going to have to make a decision very soon on who I was going to visit.

Things went on a and both of them were getting the same attention from me and both wanted me to go and see them, the decision was how on earth could I do that, so I made a decision and told the lady from Russia I was going to go and see her as she had a slight edge over the other lady.

So I wrote to the lady in Russia to say I was going to go and visit, ina mnonth or so would that be OK, she wrote back agreeing, then I had to let lady #2 know that I would not be going to see here, but I could not get hold of her,m so I left it for a week or so and trie contacting the lady in Russia again that I wanted to see first, no answer to my phone calls or emails, I went on EM where I met her and sure enough a message showed up, 'I am engaged to be married, goodluck in your serach' I could beleoive this so I tried contacting her again, no answers at all, so a few days later I sent her an ecard wishing her happiness and congratulations on her engagement and that was the last communications I had with her.

So in effect the ladies made up my mind for me, luckily the lady in Ukraine had not been in touch for a week or more so I had not told her about my decision toi visit lady #1 in Russia. When I finally got back in touch, I told her I was now only writing to her and I wanted to go and see her, so I arrnged the trip over to see her.

A bit long winded this I know, but what I am saying, the decison on who you visit may not be yours to make, that decision could very well be taken aeay from you for a number of reasons, only one of them is that they could be writing to oither men and he may get over there quicker and get the girl.

So as it is only very early days with you at the moment, I certainly wouldn't be worrying too much as there are many things that can happen between now and making the decision to visit. But what I would start thinking about, is timing and when you can get time off to visit, as in my case I am sure the lady in Russia would have waited to see me if I had given her some dates, I am usually very quick at making decisions, but I took a little too long to make that decision simply because I had two I could not make up my mind about?

I don't know if this heps, but it is a similar situation to yours.

Make your choice at some stage and stick with it.

Chris


Posted by: sidney

I would use the don't ask don't tell policy. Have you asked them if they are writting others. They probably will not ask you either since there is a good chance they are. You will not know until meeting in person and then perhaps not. I do wish you the best whatever your choice.
Sid


Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
Well today was another one of those days that I spoke to my Novosibirsk and Ukraine women. I spoke with the Novo 1st and like usual we had a wonderful conversation.

But this conversation had one more thing added.

Today she asked me in a serious tone of voice WHEN DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE ABLE TO VISIT WITH ME.

She said she feels very comfortable with our phone talks and she loves the flowers that I got her 2 times in the last 2 weeks. And she also said she is always thinking about me because I always have her smiling and laughing.

She said she is now always thinking what it would be like for us to meet.

I told her that I am going to come to see her but I need about 6 to 9 weeks to get some work done at home. She then said I hope you dont plan on waiting 5 or 6 months to visit me. I said I will do my best to make it as soon as possible.

I then said to her in a serious tone , when would you really like me to come to see you? And her answer was I THINK 4 WEEKS COULD BE GOOD. And I told her that I don't think that can happen and she said she understands and she will wait for the right time.

Well as you all know I am also talking with RW # 2 who lives in Odessa. I spoke to her after I got off the phone with RW #1.

We had a wonderful talk about things we both would like for our future and she asked me about my trip to Odessa that took place 9 weeks ago.

I was totally honest with her about why I was in Odessa with my last RW that turned out to not be a good situation, and she said that she now looks forward to our talks every day and she told me she is always excited to hear from me now.

I then asked her how she feels about me coming to Odessa to see her in a few months. She said she would like this very much but she needs to see what her work situation will be like.
I even told her that when I come to see her , if she had a hard time taking time off from work I would give her what she would loose in her salary or I would even pay someone to fill in for her.

She said that I don't need to do this. Her company just hired another girl and she thinks that this girl will be able to cover for her whenever I come to Odessa to see her.

She said because of her job and her importance in her company she will not be able to be with me 24/7. So I told her this is O K . Just try your best to spend as much time with me as possible. She said she will do this.


I am in a position where I honestly am starting to worry how I will manage seeing both of these wonderful women in one trip.

I have both of these wonderful women with the understanding that I am not committed at this time and a commitment must be made between both of us and not one of us, and I am coming to visit to see what the potential is for the future.

Neither one of these women have asked me if I plan on seeing another women.

And I have also not asked them if they are talking with any other men.

I do admit that I would love to know. Is it O K for me to ask them How many men are they speaking with at this moment ?

I wonder if I will be asked these questions right before my trip .

So I have been talking with W #1 now for about 18 days now and RW #2 IS ABOUT 4 CONVERSATIONS NOW.

I know from experience that I will never know what we have until me are face to face & spend time together. So at this point all I can do is keep talking with both and plan my trip to see both of them and then see what the future holds.

Do you guys have any suggestions or things you think I should ask both of these women? What are some things that I have to know before going to see both of them. Is there anything I want to know before I go to the other side of the planet again.

Remember, the only thing any of these women have asked from me is IF I AM PLANNING TO COME TO SEE THEM? And I like both very much and I think it will soon be very hard in a few months.


Posted by: Texas Proud

Royal....

This is just ME, and I am sure there are many who will disagree with me...

But, I think you are still going to fast... 18 days and 4 phone conversations do not make a good knowledge of the person... yes, if she was in your city you could take her out and learn more about her... but you are not...

Of course, if you have plenty of money and don't mind spending it for the trips... go right ahead...


Posted by: AkMike

I'll side with Texas Proud! Slow down! Gte to know them better before you jump in this deep.


Posted by: vic2012

Yes Texas, it’s easy to get caught up in the euphoria of the situation. But don’t forget, it's like letting the genie out of the bottle, once you’ve said you will come, it needs to be sooner, rather than later. A long delay will place doubts in her mind about your commitment and your ability to fund the trip. It would have been best to say that you needed more time to be sure.

However, at the same time if she belongs to an agency, she will have been told of the tiny proportion of men who actually make the trip, so she will be advised leave her options open, and see who actually turns up!

If you want to ask about her ‘other’ correspondents, you’ll have to do it very tactfully. I am sure there are many here who have posed that question and will tell you of the reactions they got. I never did.

And you’ll definitely have to work out carefully, what you are going to say to the lady in Novosibirsk about your stopover in Odessa!


Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:
Originally Posted by vic2012
And you’ll definitely have to work out carefully, what you are going to say to the lady in Novosibirsk about your stopover in Odessa!


In the case of Odessa, Moscow, St. Petersburg, Kiev, etc......they are at least places that "normal" foreigners would go to, and there are other reasons besides women that you would go to those cities.

Where it gets sticky is mixing two non-touristy cities....and THAT's where they will suspect something. My Mariupol girl was not really happy I was making Dnepropetrovsk the next stop on the trip.....

Odessa and another Ukrainian city, or even Moscow, is a natural match. But geographically, going from Odessa to Novosibirsk is quite a stretch. I certainly hope you are doing other things, along with meeting a lady there. But at least there are other reasons to be there. If it were the other way around, it would be incredibly difficult to explain to the Odessa lady why you were in Novosibirsk.


Posted by: vic2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by vic2012
And you’ll definitely have to work out carefully, what you are going to say to the lady in Novosibirsk about your stopover in Odessa!


And remember, if you plan to say nothing, be prepared to explain why she cannot look at your passport (with the Ukraine stamps in it).


Posted by: swindoom

I think, if you can afford it, you should go as soon as you can, it is the only real way to know for sure if there is any point continuing correspondance. You can replace money but you cannot replace time.


Posted by: Shahi

I think it would be best to forget about odessa, she has to many problems, stay with the girl who wants to see you and be with you every day, a girl without problems is a girl for a good relationship/marriage.

You seem driven by this girl from odessa, who says her husband was bad.

Shahi


Posted by: GoingToRussia

I vote for slow down and get to know them better then pick one. You run the risk of losing both if you "double dip".


Posted by: GoingToRussia

I vote for slow down and get to know them better then pick one. You run the risk of losing both if you "double dip".

Two reasons (there are more) FSU women look for foreign men is because FSU men are not honest or faithful, not all FSU men of course.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
I vote for slow down and get to know them better then pick one. You run the risk of losing both if you "double dip".

Two reasons (there are more) FSU women look for foreign men is because FSU men are not honest or faithful, not all FSU men of course.


I agree that I should slow down a little. But I dont agree on picking just one to visit and forgeting about the other one.

I really feel good about both of them . And after my trip 9 weeks ago to Odessa I wish that I would of had another women set up for me to meet. And to be totally honest , I am a little pissed off at myself for putting all my eggs in one basket 9 weeks ago.

I learned 9 weeks ago that even talking with a women every day for 6 months is not the same as being with her in person.

I honestly thought that my trip to Odessa 9 weeks ago was going to be a done deal. WOW was I wrong. I was amazed actually. And now after being home for a while, if I go over my Odessa trip of 9 weeks ago , I think to myself that it's really what happened and I didn't expect the events of my last trip. But I now know that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AND IT DID!

I took it for granted that this women will be head over heals about me and I thought how in the world could anything go wrong. I am a great guy, own a home, have a great career, no money problems, plenty of friends, everyone loves hangin out with me and I have my personal life together. I go to the gym 4 or 5 days a week , In great shape, look younger than my age by at least ten years, work my own hours and don't punch a time clock love children , emotionally available and easy to talk with , very good listener, etc.

I realized that all of this DOESN'T MEAN SH-T WHEN VISITING A WOMEN IN RUSSIA OR THE UKRAINE.

Any thing can go wrong when visiting a women that you have only talked to on the phone no matter how many months you have been talking to her.

So i really now feel that I will have a better plan for my next trip and I want a positive result without hurting anyone. And this is exactly what I am putting into action. A plan that will allow me to visit 2 or 3 women that I will talk with for about 4 months.

At this time in my life I just don't have a women that wants the same thing for her future as I do and I just can't seem to find anyone in my own home town who wants what I want in a future relationship of having a family or a commitment.

But my plan is this. I would like to plan my trip to visit both of these women around the 1st week of May. Which means I will have been in communication with both of them for 4 months.

I think 4 months of phone conversations every day on a consistant basis is a good amount of time for what I plan to do.

I know some of you may think I should pick one and just visit her. But I did that 9 weeks ago and I don't feel that it is the right thing to do again.

Also I want you guys to know that I don't feel that RW #2 in Odessa has any bagage. I feel that she has a good head on her shoulders and at the age of 37 she really knows what she wants and I don't in any way feel any weird vibes at all from her. So what she was married to a U S MAN and came home . I was married for 10 years also and I have no baggage.

In some ways I almost trust her a little more than #1. Remember guys that RW #1 doesn't have a job and still pays all of her bills. Yes I know that she might have help from her parents or even saved money and is just using it up slowly until she finds a job. RW#2 works and has a good position in a company and feels that a women working is a posive thing for a womens mind and life. My talks with her go pretty deep without hiding anything. And I feel that this alone is a pretty good sign of what she is like.

I just feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with meeting both as long as I have been up front with both of them in telling them that there will be no commitment until we meet and we both have to agree . It takes 2. I have made this clear to both of them and I have gotten an agreement.

I just have not told each one about the other yet. But we all have a clear understanding about the meaning of "IT TAKES 2 AND WE BOTH MUST AGREE IF THERE IS A COMMITMENT.

I have been married before for 10 years, so I will just not settle again . I really want to be with someone who is on the same page as me and has the same plans for her future as I do. I am doing the right thing for myself and also not hurting or making any commitments for the future. The only commitments I am making is to go to the other side of the world to see these women to see if there is " A POSSIBLE FUTURE TOGETHER".

And also remember that with these 2 women my trip will take me to Kiev and then to Odessa. The Novosibirsk women wants to meet in Kiev.

I welcome opinions and comments. And I feel comfortable in my own skin in my actions so far.


Posted by: Texas Proud

Royal....

I think that is a good plan.. it had appeared you wanted to go in a few weeks, not a few months.. and I am not one saying to pick one... I had done that two times with no final results.. HOWEVER, I did have a nice time with both.. and one went to a second visit which created the problems... NOTE: Things can go great on the first visit and you can think 'she is the one'... but it might not be... visit again and again if you can afford it.. 'live' with her 24/7 to see if it goes well..

I agree with your thoughts on #2... it seems she is being very honest with you which is very good...

Good luck..


Posted by: Shahi

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
I agree that I should slow down a little. But I dont agree on picking just one to visit and forgeting about the other one.

I really feel good about both of them . And after my trip 9 weeks ago to Odessa I wish that I would of had another women set up for me to meet. And to be totally honest , I am a little pissed off at myself for putting all my eggs in one basket 9 weeks ago.

I learned 9 weeks ago that even talking with a women every day for 6 months is not the same as being with her in person.

I honestly thought that my trip to Odessa 9 weeks ago was going to be a done deal. WOW was I wrong. I was amazed actually. And now after being home for a while, if I go over my Odessa trip of 9 weeks ago , I think to myself that it's really what happened and I didn't expect the events of my last trip. But I now know that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AND IT DID!

I took it for granted that this women will be head over heals about me and I thought how in the world could anything go wrong. I am a great guy, own a home, have a great career, no money problems, plenty of friends, everyone loves hangin out with me and I have my personal life together. I go to the gym 4 or 5 days a week , In great shape, look younger than my age by at least ten years, work my own hours and don't punch a time clock love children , emotionally available and easy to talk with , very good listener, etc.

I realized that all of this DOESN'T MEAN SH-T WHEN VISITING A WOMEN IN RUSSIA OR THE UKRAINE.

Any thing can go wrong when visiting a women that you have only talked to on the phone no matter how many months you have been talking to her.

So i really now feel that I will have a better plan for my next trip and I want a positive result without hurting anyone. And this is exactly what I am putting into action. A plan that will allow me to visit 2 or 3 women that I will talk with for about 4 months.

At this time in my life I just don't have a women that wants the same thing for her future as I do and I just can't seem to find anyone in my own home town who wants what I want in a future relationship of having a family or a commitment.

But my plan is this. I would like to plan my trip to visit both of these women around the 1st week of May. Which means I will have been in communication with both of them for 4 months.

I think 4 months of phone conversations every day on a consistant basis is a good amount of time for what I plan to do.

I know some of you may think I should pick one and just visit her. But I did that 9 weeks ago and I don't feel that it is the right thing to do again.

Also I want you guys to know that I don't feel that RW #2 in Odessa has any bagage. I feel that she has a good head on her shoulders and at the age of 37 she really knows what she wants and I don't in any way feel any weird vibes at all from her. So what she was married to a U S MAN and came home . I was married for 10 years also and I have no baggage.

In some ways I almost trust her a little more than #1. Remember guys that RW #1 doesn't have a job and still pays all of her bills. Yes I know that she might have help from her parents or even saved money and is just using it up slowly until she finds a job. RW#2 works and has a good position in a company and feels that a women working is a posive thing for a womens mind and life. My talks with her go pretty deep without hiding anything. And I feel that this alone is a pretty good sign of what she is like.

I just feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with meeting both as long as I have been up front with both of them in telling them that there will be no commitment until we meet and we both have to agree . It takes 2. I have made this clear to both of them and I have gotten an agreement.

I just have not told each one about the other yet. But we all have a clear understanding about the meaning of "IT TAKES 2 AND WE BOTH MUST AGREE IF THERE IS A COMMITMENT.

I have been married before for 10 years, so I will just not settle again . I really want to be with someone who is on the same page as me and has the same plans for her future as I do. I am doing the right thing for myself and also not hurting or making any commitments for the future. The only commitments I am making is to go to the other side of the world to see these women to see if there is " A POSSIBLE FUTURE TOGETHER".

And also remember that with these 2 women my trip will take me to Kiev and then to Odessa. The Novosibirsk women wants to meet in Kiev.

I welcome opinions and comments. And I feel comfortable in my own skin in my actions so far.



I no its none of my business but do you want to go back to odessa you have been there once so forget it and move on God is telling you something.


And also remember that with these 2 women my trip will take me to Kiev and then to Odessa. The Novosibirsk women wants to meet in Kiev.

Dump her to this is my advice, meet a women in her own town meet familly and friends and meet the right women who wants to be with you.

Shahi


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Proud
Royal....

I think that is a good plan.. it had appeared you wanted to go in a few weeks, not a few months.. and I am not one saying to pick one... I had done that two times with no final results.. HOWEVER, I did have a nice time with both.. and one went to a second visit which created the problems... NOTE: Things can go great on the first visit and you can think 'she is the one'... but it might not be... visit again and again if you can afford it.. 'live' with her 24/7 to see if it goes well..

I agree with your thoughts on #2... it seems she is being very honest with you which is very good...

Good luck..

RP

I think things look as though they are starting to fall into place a bit more and after another month or two anything could change and often does, but at least you seem to have formulised a good plan now and and as long as you are honst with these two women then you shouldn't have a problem meeting both of them on your next trip.

I agree with TP and also your comments on both of these ladies, it is getting clearer now that you are not just jumping in with both feet but taking it a little slower and considering your next actions and future plans.

Chris


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shahi
I no its none of my business but do you want to go back to odessa you have been there once so forget it and move on God is telling you something.


And also remember that with these 2 women my trip will take me to Kiev and then to Odessa. The Novosibirsk women wants to meet in Kiev.

Dump her to this is my advice, meet a women in her own town meet familly and friends and meet the right women who wants to be with you.

Shahi


Thanks for your concern Shahi. But you are telling me to dump the girl who wants to meet me in her own town. The Odessa girl wants to meet in Odessa.

And I think that you might have to read this thread from the beginning . I have a feeling that you are a little lost in the chain of events. But this is
O K . And yes Shahi , I have been to Odessa once. And god is telling me to go back to see someone who has enormous possibilities of being my future life partner.

And If I have a chance to meet a great RW in Odessa that might be the one, why not ?

Please understand Shahi, this is not about having a vacation with a new place to see everytime you go to the FSU or Russia.

It's about finding a women to spend the rest of your life with.

So you have to be willing to go to the same place more than once if this is where your your best prospects happin to live.

You will see here on the RMP that there is so much information to learn from people that have all ready done this before us. You take in the experience of others and formulate your own plan.

But remember this one thing :SEEING A NEW PLACE IS NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT . IT'S WHO ARE YOU GOING TO SEE THAT IS IMPORTANT.


Thanks Crismc, I see you are up to date on my plans and I really do feel good about my plan. Both of these women seem to have qualities that I really like.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Double post ?


Posted by: Shahi

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
Thanks for your concern Shahi. But you are telling me to dump the girl who wants to meet me in her own town. The Odessa girl wants to meet in Odessa.

And I think that you might have to read this thread from the beginning . I have a feeling that you are a little lost in the chain of events. But this is
O K . And yes Shahi , I have been to Odessa once. And god is telling me to go back to see someone who has enormous possibilities of being my future life partner.

And If I have a chance to meet a great RW in Odessa that might be the one, why not ?

Please understand Shahi, this is not about having a vacation with a new place to see everytime you go to the FSU or Russia.

It's about finding a women to spend the rest of your life with.

So you have to be willing to go to the same place more than once if this is where your your best prospects happin to live.

You will see here on the RMP that there is so much information to learn from people that have all ready done this before us. You take in the experience of others and formulate your own plan.

But remember this one thing :SEEING A NEW PLACE IS NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT . IT'S WHO ARE YOU GOING TO SEE THAT IS IMPORTANT.


Thanks Crismc, I see you are up to date on my plans and I really do feel good about my plan. Both of these women seem to have qualities that I really like.



You asked for advice? you have been to odessa and the other lady is from Novosibirsk but she wants to meet in kiev?

Red Flag, i would advice against this! how many men have been scammed on this site 98%.

I told you to dump this lady from Novosibirsk, also the lady from odessa has problems and who told you that her husband was bad, she did!

You have your answer!!!!

Its your life and your money.

Shahi


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shahi

Red Flag, i would advice against this! how many men have been scammed on this site 98%.


You're way out, no where near 98% where did you get that from, in fact I would hazard a guess it is well under 50% of the regular posters anyway? I have never been scammed and as far as I know never even close to it.

Chris


Posted by: Shahi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
You're way out, no where near 98% where did you get that from, in fact I would hazard a guess it is well under 50% of the regular posters anyway? I have never been scammed and as far as I know never even close to it.

Chris


American men are very easy to scam take a look at this website even the owner was scammed first time round, a good scammer can make $50000 per year.

Perhaps you are the lucky one but this guy is wrong in the way he is working and can i ask you how much money you send back to Russia to your wife's family?


Regards

Shahi


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shahi
American men are very easy to scam take a look at this website even the owner was scammed first time round, a good scammer can make $50000 per year.


Yes there are all nationalities that have been scammed, but I still don't see it being anywhere near your 98% figure, not even close to it. If it was there wouldn't be all the success stories that we see all the time on here would there.

Quote:
Perhaps you are the lucky one but this guy is wrong in the way he is working and can i ask you how much money you send back to Russia to your wife's family?


Is that question for me?

I'm not married so I don't send anything to anywhere! if it was to RP he is not married either, so I doubt he sends any over to FSU ??


Posted by: Shahi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
Yes there are all nationalities that have been scammed, but I still don't see it being anywhere near your 98% figure, not even close to it. If it was there wouldn't be all the success stories that we see all the time on here would there.



Is that question for me?

I'm not married so I don't send anything to anywhere! if it was to RP he is not married either, so I doubt he sends any over to FSU ??


I understand you are not married so how come you are so perfect and understand Russian Women?

Why are you not married, you have been around for a long time now but no wife?

I would like to say scams are real and if you have not been scammed you are very special.

Shahi


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shahi
You asked for advice? you have been to odessa and the other lady is from Novosibirsk but she wants to meet in kiev?

Red Flag, i would advice against this! how many men have been scammed on this site 98%.

I told you to dump this lady from Novosibirsk, also the lady from odessa has problems and who told you that her husband was bad, she did!

You have your answer!!!!

Its your life and your money.

Shahi


Thanks Shahi for your comments again. But I don't agree with your untrusting of both women that I am speaking with. If I went with your advice I would be back at square #1.

And at this point in my communications with these women I am going to carry it thru as planned.

As far as scamming goes, yes anything can happen.

But you have in some way derailed this thread in a different direction and I am kind of feeling that you are scamming me and Chrismc. LOL

But we all have our opinions. When you give your opinion you need to get the facts straight. Neither CHRISMC or myself is married for one thing and
he is not sending money to anyone and I am not sending money to anyone.

Now that I know that you want me to forget about both women maybe it's a good idea for you to go to another thread and let this one continue on it's
intended course.


Posted by: Shahi

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
Thanks Shahi for your comments again. But I don't agree with your untrusting of both women that I am speaking with. If I went with your advice I would be back at square #1.

And at this point in my communications with these women I am going to carry it thru as planned.

As far as scamming goes, yes anything can happen.

But you have in some way derailed this thread in a different direction and I am kind of feeling that you are scamming me and Chrismc. LOL

But we all have our opinions. When you give your opinion you need to get the facts straight. Neither CHRISMC or myself is married for one thing and
he is not sending money to anyone and I am not sending money to anyone.

Now that I know that you want me to forget about both women maybe it's a good idea for you to go to another thread and let this one continue on it's
intended course.



Hello

I understand you are American.

Its your money and your life, i don't care if you get scammed, its not my money thats being spent.

Why ask the ? Going to Russia asked ? he thought he was being very smart but if you look through his thread he was told his marriage would not last?

If you are so smart go to Mafia country and you will see what will happen.


Shahi


Posted by: GoingToRussia

I think Puritan or one of his friends has signed in as Shahi. Moderator we need you to ban this guy!


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
I think Puritan or one of his friends has signed in as Shahi. Moderator we need you to ban this guy!



GTR, I AGREE !


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shahi
I understand you are not married so how come you are so perfect and understand Russian Women?

Why are you not married, you have been around for a long time now but no wife?

I would like to say scams are real and if you have not been scammed you are very special.

Shahi


You twist words Shahi to suit your own agenda, me thinks you are here again in disguise! if you read my original comments it was about the fact you stated 98% of men on RMP have been scammed, before I answer you again, prove to me that statement is correct, if you can I will answer all your questions.


Posted by: youlek

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shahi
American men are very easy to scam take a look at this website even the owner was scammed first time round, a good scammer can make $50000 per year.

Perhaps you are the lucky one but this guy is wrong in the way he is working and can i ask you how much money you send back to Russia to your wife's family?


Regards

Shahi

All foreign men are easy to scam. It is not because they are silly, it is because scammers are very clever.
Once I played a game with a male scammer. You must be a real psycologist to find out if this person is honest with you.


Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Everyone,

If Shahi or anyone else breaks the forum rules, then they will be warned, and then after their second warning, then he (or she) will be banned.

There has to be a specific breaking of a forum rule to ban someone. They have to say something specific in attacking someone, for example. We can't ban someone because they irritate us or because they say something that we strongly disagree with.

The RMP would be a dictatorship, then, and not a place of thoughtful good people.

Let me remind Shahi to make sure that you talk about the ideas, and not to attack or insult anyone personally.

Thanks,

Khashyar

P.S... I'm going to start a thread in the forum guidelines section so that we can speak about when a person should banned so that we can have a clear rule about this.


Posted by: Khashyar

I began a thread HERE so that we can discuss what should be considered a "Personal Attack," and what kinds of things that a person says in a thread is considered a personal attack and should receive an official "Warning" that will lead down the road to being banned.

Khashyar


Posted by: Khashyar

If we know for certain that someone who has been banned has come back on the RMP under a new name (having the same IP Address, for example-- which we can easily see as Mods), then that person will be banned IMMEDIATELY.

Khashyar


Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
This is where I left off:

I agree that I should slow down a little. But I dont agree on picking just one to visit and forgeting about the other one.

I really feel good about both of them . And after my trip 9 weeks ago to Odessa I wish that I would of had another women set up for me to meet. And to be totally honest , I am a little pissed off at myself for putting all my eggs in one basket 9 weeks ago.

I learned 9 weeks ago that even talking with a women every day for 6 months is not the same as being with her in person.

I honestly thought that my trip to Odessa 9 weeks ago was going to be a done deal. WOW was I wrong. I was amazed actually. And now after being home for a while, if I go over my Odessa trip of 9 weeks ago , I think to myself that it's really what happened and I didn't expect the events of my last trip. But I now know that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AND IT DID!

I took it for granted that this women will be head over heals about me and I thought how in the world could anything go wrong. I am a great guy, own a home, have a great career, no money problems, plenty of friends, everyone loves hangin out with me and I have my personal life together. I go to the gym 4 or 5 days a week , In great shape, look younger than my age by at least ten years, work my own hours and don't punch a time clock love children , emotionally available and easy to talk with , very good listener, etc.

I realized that all of this DOESN'T MEAN SH-T WHEN VISITING A WOMEN IN RUSSIA OR THE UKRAINE.

Any thing can go wrong when visiting a women that you have only talked to on the phone no matter how many months you have been talking to her.

So i really now feel that I will have a better plan for my next trip and I want a positive result without hurting anyone. And this is exactly what I am putting into action. A plan that will allow me to visit 2 or 3 women that I will talk with for about 4 months.

At this time in my life I just don't have a women that wants the same thing for her future as I do and I just can't seem to find anyone in my own home town who wants what I want in a future relationship of having a family or a commitment.

But my plan is this. I would like to plan my trip to visit both of these women around the 1st week of May. Which means I will have been in communication with both of them for 4 months.

I think 4 months of phone conversations every day on a consistant basis is a good amount of time for what I plan to do.

I know some of you may think I should pick one and just visit her. But I did that 9 weeks ago and I don't feel that it is the right thing to do again.

Also I want you guys to know that I don't feel that RW #2 in Odessa has any bagage. I feel that she has a good head on her shoulders and at the age of 37 she really knows what she wants and I don't in any way feel any weird vibes at all from her. So what she was married to a U S MAN and came home . I was married for 10 years also and I have no baggage.

In some ways I almost trust her a little more than #1. Remember guys that RW #1 doesn't have a job and still pays all of her bills. Yes I know that she might have help from her parents or even saved money and is just using it up slowly until she finds a job. RW#2 works and has a good position in a company and feels that a women working is a posive thing for a womens mind and life. My talks with her go pretty deep without hiding anything. And I feel that this alone is a pretty good sign of what she is like.

I just feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with meeting both as long as I have been up front with both of them in telling them that there will be no commitment until we meet and we both have to agree . It takes 2. I have made this clear to both of them and I have gotten an agreement.

I just have not told each one about the other yet. But we all have a clear understanding about the meaning of "IT TAKES 2 AND WE BOTH MUST AGREE IF THERE IS A COMMITMENT.

I have been married before for 10 years, so I will just not settle again . I really want to be with someone who is on the same page as me and has the same plans for her future as I do. I am doing the right thing for myself and also not hurting or making any commitments for the future. The only commitments I am making is to go to the other side of the world to see these women to see if there is " A POSSIBLE FUTURE TOGETHER".

And also remember that with these 2 women my trip will take me to Kiev and then to Odessa. The Novosibirsk women wants to meet in Kiev.

I welcome opinions and comments. And I feel comfortable in my own skin in my actions so far.


Posted by: markgm

Hey Royal it all boils down to one thing mate Chemistry it will either be there or not when you meet in person.


Posted by: ira156

Hey Royal. I looked at it this way. How would i feel if i had met a woman and developed feelings for her and she planned a trip here. Yes i will visit you....but i am also visiting a guy in Melbourne and one in sydney...then i will see which one is the best prospect. Be careful Mate as one of these ladies could be the right one......and if she finds out your plans that will be the end of it. If she knows and doesnt care then she is not genuine...Cheers Mate


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by ira156
Hey Royal. I looked at it this way. How would i feel if i had met a woman and developed feelings for her and she planned a trip here. Yes i will visit you....but i am also visiting a guy in Melbourne and one in sydney...then i will see which one is the best prospect. Be careful Mate as one of these ladies could be the right one......and if she finds out your plans that will be the end of it. If she knows and doesnt care then she is not genuine...Cheers Mate


Thanks for your comments Ira156,
I can understand your point of view. But I have to say that I am allready in far enough with 2 women on day to day conversations.
I like talking with both very much. And as I said before these women know that I am coming to visit them to see if there is chemistry and potential to have a future with them.

Everything is clear except I didn't just come out and say: By the way I want you to know that after I visit you I'm on my way to RW #2.

If the question is asked to me I will tactfully respond with an answer that will not make them feel inferior in any way. Also, they must know that I think they are in communications with a couple guys. I haven't asked them that and they haven't asked me if I intened to check out any other prospects.

To be honest with you, I am getting the feeling that both of these women I am talking with are confident that once I visit them I will be all theirs if there is mutual feelings on both sides.

I have allready been through the PUTTING ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET APPROACH 9 weeks ago in Odessa. And I don't want to have to go through another trip of just seeing one women and hoping that everything will turn out as I plan. I did it 9 weeks ago and it turned out the total opposite of what I expected.

I am not being dishonest with any of these women. The fact is, as of today neither one has asked me if I am communicating with any other women. I have not made any emotional commitments to either one.

My only intention is to spend 7 - 10 days with each of these 2 ladies. I could possibly see both of them and have no chemistry with either one. But that is something I will have to deal with if that happens.

I think that if these women want to know if I will see any other women besides them they will ask me the question.

I think that they care if I intened to see another women also as you said. But I also feel that I have done this 9 weeks ago and I wish I would have saw another women after that women 9 weeks ago turned out to be NOT THE ONE.

If I am asked I will tell. But I don't feel I am doing the wrong thing.

I dont get upset that these women possibly talk to any other men. And why is that you may ask. Because I think I am a great catch and if a women can pass me up for someone else , I honestly feel like she is loosing out on a real gem of a guy. And that's me!

I will have to totally be on my toes and careful, I agree. But I really feel good about doing things this way. As MARKGM said: Hey Royal it all boils down to one thing mate Chemistry it will either be there or not when you meet in person.


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774

As MARKGM said: Hey Royal it all boils down to one thing mate Chemistry it will either be there or not when you meet in person.


Yes that is basically the top and botoom of it, I spoke for 4-5 months with a lady on the phone 3 or 4 times a week, we got on like a house on fire, letters were good everything was looking great, went to meet her and it was a disaster, no chemistry whatsoever, end of relationship.

Unfortunately, you cannot see what the chemistry is like by talking on the phone. I am going to Moscow and Ufa in March, to meet a lady I am in the in the same position as I was with the other one, but I know before I leave if the chemistry is not right then it will be back to square one again.

But as long as you go over knowing this and accepting this and trying to make the most of the trip no matter what, you will still have great time. Just treat it as a great experience and whatever else comes out of it is a bonus.


Posted by: chippie

I have allready been through the PUTTING ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET APPROACH 9 weeks ago in Odessa. And I don't want to have to go through another trip of just seeing one women and hoping that everything will turn out as I plan. I did it 9 weeks ago and it turned out the total opposite of what I expected.

I am not being dishonest with any of these women. The fact is, as of today neither one has asked me if I am communicating with any other women. I have not made any emotional commitments to either one.

My only intention is to spend 7 - 10 days with each of these 2 ladies. I could possibly see both of them and have no chemistry with either one. But that is something I will have to deal with if that happens.

I think that they care if I intened to see another women also as you said. But I also feel that I have done this 9 weeks ago and I wish I would have saw another women after that women 9 weeks ago turned out to be NOT THE ONE.



Hey chrismc,

As I said you're doing the right thing. You're up front, and honest. As I said earlier in your thread, I was in the same boat as you were 9 weeks ago. I came to see my RF a second time, and it did not work. Next was plan B - I had an agency that took care of me while I was here the rest of the 3 weeks. Now I have met a woman that I do have "chemistry" with and is sincere.
Stick to your guns, you're doing the right thing. Those who don't learn from their past are doomed to repeat it!

chippie


Posted by: youlek

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khashyar
There has to be a specific breaking of a forum rule to ban someone. They have to say something specific in attacking someone, for example. We can't ban someone because they irritate us or because they say something that we strongly disagree with.

Everybody has the right to agree or disagree.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
Yes that is basically the top and botoom of it, I spoke for 4-5 months with a lady on the phone 3 or 4 times a week, we got on like a house on fire, letters were good everything was looking great, went to meet her and it was a disaster, no chemistry whatsoever, end of relationship.

Unfortunately, you cannot see what the chemistry is like by talking on the phone. I am going to Moscow and Ufa in March, to meet a lady I am in the in the same position as I was with the other one, but I know before I leave if the chemistry is not right then it will be back to square one again.

But as long as you go over knowing this and accepting this and trying to make the most of the trip no matter what, you will still have great time. Just treat it as a great experience and whatever else comes out of it is a bonus.


Chrismc you are so right.

And the thing that bugs me out the most in this kind of situation is that from my experience of even dating women who live ten minutes from my house is this: As soon as two people meet for the 1st time, each one pretty much makes up their mind within a minute or two.

The only thing for me that makes the Russia or FSU trip a little nerve wrecking is just that.

I can spend 4 or 5 months on the phone & feel that there is no way this could not work, and as soon as you go through the customs and say hello for the 1st time in person, her mind might all ready have decided if she is going to give this a try or there is no way in hell I can be with this guy.

I can't tell you how many times I have been on 1st dates in my own city and after great talks on the phone the women shows up at a place that we decided to meet at and I myself all ready know within 40 seconds if I am interested in persuing it any further.

We also have to be honest about physical attraction from the womens point of view also. What I mean is this: You can show a women 50 photos of you and have great talks for 4 months and she honestly loves all of that . You can have the most intimate of talks and share secrets of each others life and feel a closeness that makes you so confident that when you meet for the 1st time that it is going to work.

But if within that 1st 20 seconds of meeting for the 1st time she doesn't have that sexual desire at all for you , it's over right there . Let's face it , a women wants to have that sexual desire also and if she is sure she doesn't have a sexual attraction she is not gonna try and make it work because you are a wonderful guy.

An example : A year ago I had a date with a girl in my own town. I met her on a reputable site in town and we talked for about 3 weeks before we both decided to meet at a local pub restaurant for a drink.

I had only seen photos of her and she had only seen photos of me. I pull up and park and she is sitting on a bench in the front of the place. I walk up to her and she looks at me and I knew right there and then she was not interested in me. Why, I can't tell you ? I had on great smelling cologne and I was dressed casual but very neat in jeans. I was polite. I acted interested and was a good listner when she spoke, etc, etc.

We went inside and sat down at the bar ordered 2 drinks. About 25 minutes into our meeting she says to me that she has to get back home because she has a long day tomorrow. And I say to her that it was nice meeting you.

So I knew right there immediately. She was not the least interested in me. I was actually amazed that she got out of there that quick. But I knew there was nothing I could do to change it. It was what it was.

The only difference in what most of us are doing her on RMP is we are traveling to the other side of the planet and some of us are on planes for 24 hours to meet the person who we think will probably be with us for life.
And we spend a good sum of money and take off of work and etc, etc.

And I know now not to even think that it's a done deal. I really feel that if the women thinks she can give herself sexually to you and she has that animal instinct of desire for you in the 1st 10 seconds she will then try and see if there is more to you .

I know some of you might not agree one bit . But even for me, if I don't feel that I can sexually get it on with a women that I meet, I don't want to try and make it go any further.

So for me it's going to the other side of the planet that is the hard part.

I personally think the women makes her mind up rather quickly in her sexual desire for you. And if you don't want to have sex with your partner, it's allready over !

Now remember , I don't mean let's have sex as soon as we meet. I mean in the future sense.

I allready know in my mind that when I go that far to visit a women that I don't plan on any sexual encounters. That can come at a later time. I am saying that I think the women immediately knows if she even wants to in the future ever have a sexual relationship with you.

It's just human nature at work and there is nothing we can do to change it.

So with this in mind I have been also including some what I call NOT SO GOOD PHOTOS OF MYSELF to my women. I know that we all want our potential RW to see us at our best, but I now throw in a few pics that have me looking a little raggy and sweaty . Why , I guess to make me feel a little better about her not expecting BRAD PITT to come walking through the customs desk to greet her.

I want her to at least give me a shot after I have come this far to see her.

It's reality> If I have an attraction for her and she doesn't have it for me, I at least want to see if there is a possibility of turning it around. But I know what will be will be and that's that. Physical attraction comes into the equation whether we like it or not. Being a great guy is only part of it> And hopefully the important part . If the girl doesn't have the physical for you YOU'RE DONE!


Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
Chrismc you are so right.

So with this in mind I have been also including some what I call NOT SO GOOD PHOTOS OF MYSELF to my women. I know that we all want our potential RW to see us at our best, but I now throw in a few pics that have me looking a little raggy and sweaty . Why , I guess to make me feel a little better about her not expecting BRAD PITT to come walking through the customs desk to greet her.

I want her to at least give me a shot after I have come this far to see her.


Yes I agree with most of what you say RP, and what you do above is really just being honest with them, there is nothing wrong in sending a variety of pictures, then she can really get the right image of you. You are not misleading her and if she does have second thoughts for whatever reason it saves you wasting your time going over to see her. So it works both ways and to both parties benefit IMO.

Chris


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrismc
Yes I agree with most of what you say RP, and what you do above is really just being honest with them, there is nothing wrong in sending a variety of pictures, then she can really get the right image of you. You are not misleading her and if she does have second thoughts for whatever reason it saves you wasting your time going over to see her. So it works both ways and to both parties benefit IMO.

Chris


Thanks Chrismc for your comments,
I have to say that it's a little nerve wrecking wondering how things will go when you meet a RW for the 1st time after talking for 4 or 5 months.

I am a little nervous I have to say. But it comes with the territory of looking for a RW.

The one thing that seems to come to my mind is all the talking and feelings of thinking that you are compatible
can go out the window in the 1st 60 seconds after leaving customs and walking up to your RW. But some women will be polite about it if they aren't attracted to you and some will clearly just move away from you as if you have a disease.



I know we have no control over chemistry. I can at least look my best and smell wonderful and have a great big smile and have some good conversation when I meet my RW for the 1st time.

But how many of us have taken a trip to Russia or FSU and thought that there was absolutely no way that this women I am going to meet will not fall head over heals for me. And she turns into someone else because there is no chemistry for her.

You would think that all of your great qualities would take priority. But I have learned in my dating in the past that a women has to feel confident in her wanting to have a sexual desire for you.

It's sad but true. You can be the most wonderful guy in the world and have everything a women could ever dream of.

If she doesn't have that sexual desire for you within a minute or 2 it's all ready over and done when you say hello.

It's such a gamble to travel that far to see if it will be a good thing .But it's 20 times worse to know that as soon as you meet she all ready knows you are not the one.

I am basically saying that SEX in this day and age between a couple can't be overlooked. It takes 2 to do the dance and we invest time and funds and we send flowers and make them laugh and we think everything is great.

But it all comes down to that moment when you say hello in person.

I could be wrong , but I really think when you say hello face to face for the 1st time. SHE KNOWS IF SHE WANTS TO GIVE THIS A SHOT.

I welcome any comments and opinions.

I almost feel like starting a new thread and calling it: WHAT IF YOUR RW IS HEAD OVER HEALS ABOUT YOU IN A FRIENDLY WAY, BUT TELLS YOU SHE ISN'T SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU AT THIS POINT IN MEETING YOU?

I know it sounds a little strange , but I have really learned that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! Ever have those moments when you think of the craziest sh-t
trying to figure things out and wonder why people do the things they do ?


I think I'm having that today. LOL


Posted by: EasyTarget

RP: Yes I think everyone agrees that one can not control another person's attraction level. You can do everything you can to make the best first impression, HOWEVER I would disagree about the comment that everything is decided in the first few minutes.

Some women I have known have stated when they first met me, I wouldn't have stood a chance. Somehow after they started to get to know me, my charm and grace came through, and things proceeded well.

just my opinion.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by EasyTarget
RP: Yes I think everyone agrees that one can not control another person's attraction level. You can do everything you can to make the best first impression, HOWEVER I would disagree about the comment that everything is decided in the first few minutes.

Some women I have known have stated when they first met me, I wouldn't have stood a chance. Somehow after they started to get to know me, my charm and grace came through, and things proceeded well.

just my opinion.


Thanks EasyTarget for your thoughts,

I should re word that statement that I made and say that some women decide in the 1st few minutes and some when in doubt might give it a little time to see if there is a shot.

But I am glad to hear what you said. I really feel that I am a good guy and I have a warm personality and I am loads of fun. I just want whoever I visit to place importance on my personality traits and my positive qualities and not hope that I am a Tom Cruise look alike. But I have to tell you that I have been told I look like Bruce Willis( really no joke) So maybe I got more goin on than I think. LOL !

But you never know until you get there. So I will think positive and just hope for the best. That's all I can do! Bruce Willis goes to Russia. It has a ring to it ! lol


Posted by: markgm

Just be yourself and be confident if the chemistry is there you will both soon know.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
I want to update you on what's been happening with my 2 women that I have been talking with.

My Novosibirsk girl is now in 2nd place for me. And if you ask why, it is because I have now been talking with her for about 2 months now and I feel in my gut that something is not quite right.

The 1st thing that is bothering me about her is this: I haven't logged into my Elena's models site in about a week, and I just noticed her profile is not on this site anymore. She has not told me that she has removed it. So I am wondering why it is not there now. I will ask her tomorrow why it has been removed. If you guys know why her profile might have been removed from Elena's , let me know. I am just wondering if she maybe removed it herself or if she met a guy and the guy complained about her and they removed it.

Anyway, it is a major red flag for me right now and I am very concerned about this.

This is what it says on the site when I put in her ID number :This user is temporary unavailable for contact (out of town, etc)

My 2nd women in Odessa has been in 1st place now for about 2 weeks. My gut tells me that she is a very warm sincere women. She also has a good job and I really feel that our talks are very close to the heart.

She asked me my birthday yesterday and I told her when it was. You will never believe this , but her birthday is the same exact day as mine. Is this an omen or what.

When we talk to each other I feel in our conversations that we are totally on the same page about our future desires. She still wants to continue her education in interior design. She just started a new job in a higher position in a travel agency.


I would love to hear some opinions about why my Novosibirsk women is not on the Elena's site anymore. Is it possible she removed it herself because she is happy how things are going with me and her. It is really baffling why her profile is not there anymore.

Please give me some opinions guys.


Posted by: clark

RP, I have just read this thread for the first time and there seem to be a couple of simularities with my situation so I'll offer them up.

First on the profile question there could be a number of reasons so it's all conjecture. She may not even know about it innocently to be able to mention it to you. Then there is the negetive side that she got the hook for nefarious reasons. You might be ahead of the 8-ball if you enquired to Elena's Models on that subject.

On the two women question I personally do not see your communication with these two as dishonest in the least. It is highly probable they too are communicating with more than one man. In my opinion, until you've actually met, both of should keep your options open. I believe this because many things can happen between now and the time you actually do meet.

My situation was, after going through dozens and dozens of what I thought sincere ladies I narrowed it down to half a dozen and really started communicating with those. Rather quickly it got down to just two. I had that dilemma as to which one to visit. Communicated with both for 4-5 months on the telephone/email and started making preparations to visit. As time went on I felt one would stand out. Neither did but recently communication with them both stopped during the very same week.

One of them, the one I thought I preferred over the other, after learning of my plans seemed to withdraw somewhat. I did not take that as a positive sign, hence I discontinued the communication. The other informed me that she was infact communicating with another man (which I did not know) and he was traveling in January to meet her. She wanted to see how it went with him. I wished her well and she quit with me.

I am not angry or bitter. I am somewhat disappointed after the time, expense and emotional roller coaster I have involved. I am also somewhat tired. I'm thinking at this point of going anyway and shooting from the hip when I get there. I haven't decided yet. My point here is, did I get a taste of my own medicine? I think so, and I do not blame her one bit.

On the chemistry, physical/sexual attraction question, I agree with you 100%. I, myself am the very same way. I do not know instantly or within the first 10 minutes, however, I do know within the first 30 minutes if I wish to pursue a relationship or a friendship or nothing at all with the lady. For me personally, I know what I want in each and can tell relatively quickly if it is there. I think women are much the same way. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule but, on the whole I believe our natural instincts play a bigger role than many of us will admit. IMHO


Posted by: GoingToRussia

RP - Take her being not available as a good sign. When I was sure about my relationship, I also removed my profile and so did the girl I was seeing. It might say out of town but that is the first option to select so she may not be aware of other options. I would take it as a good sign saying she is dedicted to you. If Elena's Models did it, it would be something like removed profile. I'm sure she did it herself.


Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
I would love to hear some opinions about why my Novosibirsk women is not on the Elena's site anymore. Is it possible she removed it herself because she is happy how things are going with me and her. It is really baffling why her profile is not there anymore.

Please give me some opinions guys.


It might be a case of something between Elena's and the local agency. Keep in mind that the "biggies"(i.e. AFA, Russian Women Network, Elena's, Anastasia Web, etc) get many of their profiles from a smaller agency feeding them in.


Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
Well the latest news on my Novosibirsk girl is getting interesting. As you all know, I have been talking everyday with 2 women. One from Novosibirsk in Siberia and one in Odessa, Ukraine.

When this all started I was very sure that the Novosibirsk women was looking real good. But today this is what has transpired in our talk this afternoon. I have been talking with her now for about 2 months.

After about 20 minutes into our conversation she said to me "When do you think you will come ? I told her that I thought it would be good to come and meet her in about 8 or 9 weeks. She then said to me that she is probably going to get a job as a bank teller and she would not have any time to be with me if I visited her in 9 weeks. I said I can be with you after work and she said this is not good.

She said it would probably be better to visit her in 6 months because she will have vacation time. But this is what is bothering me about that.

As I told you in a earlier post a few days ago, she has her profile listed as not available or out of town on Elena's Models now.

I am wondering if she has met someone and is maybe lying to me. But then again I asked her if she still wants me to speak with her until I am ready to come see her in 6 months . And she said "OF COURSE">

I am now wondering if there is something going on with her that I don't know. I still have great talks with her , but I am feeling something strange .

You know that feeling of your instinct that tells you that something is a little strange , but you can't quite pinpoint it exactly.

She also said that when she meets me in 6 months it will be her vacation time from work and she wants to go somewhere where it will be good weather. She loved the beach and tropical weather. She lives in Siberia and it's always cold there.

As far as my Odessa women , I can tell you that I now have her in 1st place . My gut instinct tells me that she is sincee and honest and a hard working women. She works 6 days a week as a travel agent in Odessa. And I have not felt one red flag in the slightest bit come up with her.

I really feel a closeness and I feel a genuine desire in her to meet me. And the crazy thing is we have the same birthday.

I had flowers delivered to her yesterday and she was so happy about that.

Anyway, I feel that the Novosibirsk women is slowly fading away from me. Maybe it is her way of giving me a hint. I really dont know what to think.

I asked her if she wants to still communicate with me and she said yes. But I think there is something happening that I cant put my finger on.

If you guys have any ideas on what you think I should do or how I should approach her, let me know. I am O K seeing her in 6 months , but I almost feel that she is up to something or I am just paranoid because of my last trip to Ukraine in Nov 2006 that went bad.

Maybe she is or has met someone while she is talking with me and she isn't telling me?

What do you think ?


Posted by: Texas Proud

I am amazed when some men on this board say "I am talking to two women" or three or more... and say that they do not tell the ladies about the other ones... but then wonder 'Is she talking to some other guy?'.....

Well, maybe she is... SO WHAT. You have not visted her, she has not committed to YOU and YOU have not committed to HER (or you would not be writing to anybody else!!!)...

Should you be paranoid?? That is up to you... if you want to know the answer, then ask.... it can tell you a lot of she starts to lie to you..

As for taking her profile down... that sounds to me like a good thing... but again... ASK..

And if you don't think you can ASK... then you are not close enough for a relationship... who wants to get with someone you don't trust enough to even ask a simple question..

Rant over... back to the thread...


Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Proud
I am amazed when some men on this board say "I am talking to two women" or three or more... and say that they do not tell the ladies about the other ones... but then wonder 'Is she talking to some other guy?'.....

Well, maybe she is... SO WHAT. You have not visted her, she has not committed to YOU and YOU have not committed to HER (or you would not be writing to anybody else!!!)...

Should you be paranoid?? That is up to you... if you want to know the answer, then ask.... it can tell you a lot of she starts to lie to you..

As for taking her profile down... that sounds to me like a good thing... but again... ASK..

And if you don't think you can ASK... then you are not close enough for a relationship... who wants to get with someone you don't trust enough to even ask a simple question..

Rant over... back to the thread...


I am not wondering if she is talking with other men. I am taking it for granted that she most definately is talking with others. And this does not bother me. What bothers me is that I feel that something feels a little different because of her profile saying she is out of town at the moment when she is in fact not out of town but available.

You are right, ASK! I need to just ask her if she is still interested in me or has something else come up that she finds hard to tell me ?

As far as her talking with other guys. I know that she probably is and I am not expecting her to stop. I am only feeling something different in the last day when we talk.

And this is the reason why I did not put all my eggs in one basket. I knew that it was a good chance that anything could happen with any of these women while I talked with them.

And things are still great with the other women in Odessa at this point.


Posted by: Chrismc

I think she is hedging her bets, she probably has met someone else or has someone going over to meet her planned, the only way you will have a chance of knowing is to ask her, she will tell you if she is genuine, she won't if she is not, either way it all points to the fact that something has happened and it sounds to me like someone else is in the picture.

A similar thing happened to me last year, next thing I know there is a message on EM ' I am engaged to be married, good luck in your search' Someone else beat me over there, but the good news for you is the Odessa lady is at the top of your short list anyway, so you have nothing to loose.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Yes definetly ask. If she becomes defensive then you know she is probably hiding something. Don't wory about the Elena's Models thing. It is good, she is not available because she found someone or maybe 2 men she is very interested in.

If you want a sure thing, ask for a comitment.


Posted by: vic2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
She lives in Siberia and it's always cold there.
Wrong! Its gets up to over 100F in the summer. Almost too hot to visit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by royalpalace774
Anyway, I feel that the Novosibirsk women is slowly fading away from me. Maybe it is her way of giving me a hint. I really dont know what to think.

I asked her if she wants to still communicate with me and she said yes. But I think there is something happening that I cant put my finger on.
You should not make assumptions in these situations. If you feel that, she is slipping away, you have two choices:
1. Let her go.
2. Ask her exactly what her situation is.

You really haven't got much to lose either way.

I dont know what others here think, but after two months, I think you should broach the subject of competitors! After this, it starts to be a case of putting your head in the sand.


Posted by: ///Tarik

RP:
Read your whole thread. Go with your gut instinct, it is usually right. About your Novosibirsk lady, first of all, if she is demanding about you visiting her and is giving you a deadline, to me that is already weird and is really inpolite, unless she is spoiled or has been burned before by visiting promises. Second, she wants to come and visit you in Kiev, what's the deal with that? She got relatives or what? To me that is strange as well, unless she gave you a good explanation. Third, the bank teller idea and no time to see you sounds like a bunch of poo-poo. When I was in Kiev recently, yes some people work until 9pm, but my friends always made time to see me after work, even if only go to a cafe and chat for an hour or so. Sounds like your Novosibirsk lady has got some other things going on, it would be great if she at least tell you what's-up.

On your comments of first few minutes decide the outcome most of the times. I, personally would not want any potential woman to meet me right after I cleared the Customs. I know that any decent woman will probably insist so she can make sure you arrived safely and there are no hassles with the border control and taxi drivers would not rip you off. But think of this, you just spent 20 hours flying in an upright position, crappy food and using Frankfurt International toilet sink as your shower, you really ruining your first few minutes impression. If you've been there before, you can probably do fine arriving on your own and then meet her after you had a decent rest and are in a more neutral surroundings. Just my 0.02. Cheers and good luck.

PS: Speaking of putting all your eggs in one basket, sounds like you need to find more potential ladies there for yourself, otherwise you might repeat your Odessa trip 9 months ago.


Posted by: chippie

Hey RP774,

Just read your latest post. The woman from Novosibirsk said that she will "probably" be getting a job in a bank? First it doesn't sound like she has the job. Second if she gets off the job at 9:00 that means she doesn't start until late in the morning. If that is the case she can either spend time with you after work because she doesn't need to get up early, or she can spend time with you before work. If she REALLY cares, there are choices.
When you saw that she was "out of town" in EM you asked her if she still wanted to communicate. You didn't ask her outright if there is someone else. If it is in the back of your mind, ask.
Personally I put some stock in that "instinct". I would give that serious consideration.
I think that it is best to visit a woman in her own environment. See where she lives, visit the sites in her area. If things go well, then you can meet her family and friends. It is not the same if you are "on vacation" with someone.

I have a feeling that the Novosibirsk woman is probably out. You have nothing to lose by asking her the questions that are in the back of your mind. YOu would ask if she was an AW wouldn't you?

Tarik said that if you are down to 1 woman you're in the same boat again, and putting all of your eggs in one basket. I don't necessarily agree with that because if you will be there say 3 weeks and things go south with the Odessa woman, you can always contact an agency there. That is what happened to me last month in Belarus (see trip report Belarus 2007). I contacted an agency and was back in the saddle again within a few days.

Good luck and keep us posted. It's been a few days.

chippie


Posted by: royalpalace774

Hi Guys,
Here is the latest on the Novosibirsk women. I still talk with her every day for at least 30 to 45 minutes a call. Yesterday we spoke in the morning and I just happened to bring up the subject of us meeting.

I asked her when she would like to meet me and her answer was "NOW", but I know you are busy working now.

I have been talking with her for about 9 weeks now and I told her that I can't come right now. I told her in a few months would be good for me and she said she understands that I am busy working now.

Originally she wanted to meet in Kiev, which is quite a ways away for her to travel. Ad now she has decided that she would like to meet me in the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC. She said she doesn't need a visa to go there.

I have to tell you guys that I am having 2nd thoughts about this women. I like our talks everyday , but she changes her mind about where she wants to meet. At 1st she was 1000% set on KIEV because she lived there before and she knew her way around there.

Now she is set on meeting me somewhere out of Russia.

I find this a little strange if you ask me. I told her that I would like to come to Novosibirsk and she said NO, I dont like it here .

This is what I think. I have a feeling that she wants a little vacation from Russia. If it works out with me then she is happy. If it doesn't work out with me then she gets a vacation.

As far as her getting a job in the bank, that is over. They told her there is no openings now. So she is unemployed at this time.