Update from pondr - and thanks to all posters - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Update from pondr - and thanks to all posters
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Posted by: pondr

Hi to everyone!!

First, I want to thank all of the posters who responded to my request for advice and help. I had already done many of the things suggested (the dog, the requests for help from her), and have begun preparing for her own business...

To make a long story short, it was "missing home" that was happening. We had a talk about this, and she admitted feeling depression and to missing her family. I offered to fly her parents or her sister and family here, but she didn't want that. I also offered to apply for the early release so that she could go there and return again prior to the interview for the GC, but she didn't want to do that either. I made sure to let her know that she was not "trapped" here, and had the freedom to go back home anytime she wished...I told her that I loved her, and that if she thought that returning to Ukraine was best for her and was what she wanted, then she was free to do so, even if it meant that my heart would be broken...

So I just told her that I loved her and that I would be there for her whenever she needed me for anything, and then gave her the time and space she needed to make up her mind.

I am happy to report that she is staying...in fact, she told me that she never really thought of going back, but that knowing that she had that choice was a good thing. I suppose it was realizing that she did have control over her life and was not trapped at all and could do as she wished that made the difference for her...

I am also happy to report that the emotional rollercoaster she was on for the last few weeks was not entirely due to depression and homesickness...

After she started feeling a little happier and a little more energetic, we started planning more for our future and for her new business...then she became ill...nausea everyday, unable to tolerate smells of things that didn't bother her before (garlic, pickles, my feet...things like that)...

So we went to one of my doctor friends...

She was pregnant!! We are both very, very happy about this, and are already planning for our new addition

)).

The blues are still there a little, but she has begun to recover, and I can tell a difference in her almost daily. She was happier even before we found out about the pregnancy, so I do not think the mood upswing is solely related to that.

I again want to thank all of you who responded to my post for your support and encouragement and advice.

It's nice to know that this resource is out there, and that there are folks who you can turn to for help navigating the murky waters of a relationship.

I hope that someday my experiences will be useful in aiding someone else....sort of like you "help those who come after you" sort of thing...

Posted by: firemansam

Great to hear everything is going well for you mate! Wonderful news!!!!
So what kind of pooch did you both decide on??

Posted by: pondr

Hi, Sam!

(laughing) We got a black lab right after she and our son got here

. Contrary to all reports on their intelligence, this may indeed be the stupidest dog alive (laughter). I had a golden retriever for 10 years, and he was the best dog and canine friend I have ever had....but this dog...THIS dog...jeez...

Anyway, it was free (something which should have set off alarm bells), a gift from a friend...

We also now have bettas, two turtles, and a cat. Add these to the deer and rabbits which show up daily in our yard, and we have a veritable zoo, both inside and outside the house

.

Now she wants to raise chickens and pigs. She and her parents raised their own chickens at their dacha in Ukraine...but My God, have you ever smelled a pig farm? I was raised on a farm and have done all these things...I can just about tolerate the chickens, but I am putting my foot down about the pigs (laughter)!

Posted by: firemansam

Truly it is a menagerie!
I am glad that it is all working out for you though and I'm glad that the puppy suggestion was well received even if it is the dumbest dog on the planet...

Good luck with fending off the pigs!!!

Posted by: pondr

thanks for the support and the anti-pig wishes!!

You know, she once told me that her son liked to help feed the chickens when they went to the dacha...and one year when the chickens were suddenly NO LONGER THERE , he asked what happened to them...and she told him that they " flew south for the winter" I still laugh whenever I think about that!!

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by pondr

We got a black lab .....Contrary to all reports on their intelligence, this may indeed be the stupidest dog alive (laughter). I had a golden retriever for 10 years, and he was the best dog and canine friend I have ever had....but this dog...THIS dog...jeez...

Unknown friend...!!! May the training days of your Black Lab be shortened for the sake of national suicide statistics.

It will be of no comfort to assure you that although Goldens are slow to mature, (Maybe even a couple of years) but the Black's are a way sight slower for some reason and simply seem to be as dumb as.......... actually they are not if you can stand the distance.

Look forward to puppy training for a minimum of 2 1/2 - 3 years. Of course you will thank me for this...........NOT...!!!!! Such little...........

Posted by: bingism

Congratulations Pondr!!

Be nice to the black lab - when the new arrival is teething, the dog may become your best friend... "Erm, honey, I think the dog really needs to go for a very VERY long walk! See you this time next fall!!" hehe