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I think I might be over-analyzing this

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Posted by: gonlaz

Good day all,

I have just joined up and haven't even edited my profile yet. I wasn't looking for a Russian girlfriend, or even a girlfriend but somehow I find myself falling for a Russian girl. Now, I have taken that relationship quiz, and I think that is a cool tool, I will give the feedback probably tomorrow; I just want to get a feel for what some experiends dudes might think of my situation, I have never been involved with a person overseas, so like my thread header says, maybe I am over-analyzing this.

I am a divorced 37 year old man, no kids. I live on a tight budget but have some goals that are attainable in the next 3 years. I found a website one night while looking for overseas pen pals to email with; I thought it would be a neat way to connect with the "old world" so to speak, as I am a History buff. Anyway, the site was russian euro and I set up my pro9file, "looking for friends and pen pals" and in my description of myself I stated right up front "I am not rich, and I am not looking for a wife or girlfriend". I spoke with several girls who were obviously looking for a husband...yadda yadda yadda and here I am now, I ended up emailing a girl named Inna.

It's been 6 months now, I should let you know that I am a crafty individual, I was blessed with a keen mind, I am street smart as well as book smart, so what I have done is I have gone out of my way to ask her specifically thought out, trick questions, she passes all tests.
She works at a reputable company in Moscow
She is Always available when she says she will be
We keep regular conversations, emails, IM chats, and phone calls - and not always "scheduled". I have emailed here work, called her at work and suprise called her at home. she has called me MORE often than I have called her - at 15 Cents a minute it's expensive, and like I said I do not have alot of money.
She hasn't asked me for anything, other than my honesty
We were going to meet in Helsinki, Finalnd first but my schedule prevents me from going there, so I am flying to Moscow
She rents a flat as expensive as my condo (1000 US a month)
She has no children
I have searched every Russian site I can find and looked for her name or photo, I have found nothing
She asks me detailed questions about Florida, and has full knowledge of my income and bills, still she wants to be with me, even if I am not rich.
She has offered her own money to pay for 3 nights at the hotel in Russia, but I know that may be ********, I don't know.


My only concern is that my test, I took here, said I had a 3 out of 5 chance of being scammed, I do not understand.
I have some good common sense and really feel in my heart like she is being truthful, but I would like to know, based upon my facts, what any of you think.

P.S. She has also sent me pictures of her and her family (unless they pick out random old people to pose with, lol!) and has even offered for me to stay with her in Moscow, but she has roomates and I would rather not.

Sorry if this is too long, just wanted to give my facts, and honestly I wanted to ask, because after all - it's a huge step for me to fly to friggin Russia of all places, for a girl.
Thank you


Posted by: markgm

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Good day all,

I have just joined up and haven't even edited my profile yet. I wasn't looking for a Russian girlfriend, or even a girlfriend but somehow I find myself falling for a Russian girl. Now, I have taken that relationship quiz, and I think that is a cool tool, I will give the feedback probably tomorrow; I just want to get a feel for what some experiends dudes might think of my situation, I have never been involved with a person overseas, so like my thread header says, maybe I am over-analyzing this.

I am a divorced 37 year old man, no kids. I live on a tight budget but have some goals that are attainable in the next 3 years. I found a website one night while looking for overseas pen pals to email with; I thought it would be a neat way to connect with the "old world" so to speak, as I am a History buff. Anyway, the site was russian euro and I set up my pro9file, "looking for friends and pen pals" and in my description of myself I stated right up front "I am not rich, and I am not looking for a wife or girlfriend". I spoke with several girls who were obviously looking for a husband...yadda yadda yadda and here I am now, I ended up emailing a girl named Inna.

It's been 6 months now, I should let you know that I am a crafty individual, I was blessed with a keen mind, I am street smart as well as book smart, so what I have done is I have gone out of my way to ask her specifically thought out, trick questions, she passes all tests.
She works at a reputable company in Moscow
She is Always available when she says she will be
We keep regular conversations, emails, IM chats, and phone calls - and not always "scheduled". I have emailed here work, called her at work and suprise called her at home. she has called me MORE often than I have called her - at 15 Cents a minute it's expensive, and like I said I do not have alot of money.
She hasn't asked me for anything, other than my honesty
We were going to meet in Helsinki, Finalnd first but my schedule prevents me from going there, so I am flying to Moscow
She rents a flat as expensive as my condo (1000 US a month)
She has no children
I have searched every Russian site I can find and looked for her name or photo, I have found nothing
She asks me detailed questions about Florida, and has full knowledge of my income and bills, still she wants to be with me, even if I am not rich.
She has offered her own money to pay for 3 nights at the hotel in Russia, but I know that may be ********, I don't know.


My only concern is that my test, I took here, said I had a 3 out of 5 chance of being scammed, I do not understand.
I have some good common sense and really feel in my heart like she is being truthful, but I would like to know, based upon my facts, what any of you think.

P.S. She has also sent me pictures of her and her family (unless they pick out random old people to pose with, lol!) and has even offered for me to stay with her in Moscow, but she has roomates and I would rather not.

Sorry if this is too long, just wanted to give my facts, and honestly I wanted to ask, because after all - it's a huge step for me to fly to friggin Russia of all places, for a girl.
Thank you


As you have spoken to her by phone and been in contact for awhile and she has not asked for money I would not put to much faith in the test.
There are many members here that will guide you in the right direction. For example out of curiosity i did the test and my other half did not rate to well but i know better.


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by markgm
As you have spoken to her by phone and been in contact for awhile and she has not asked for money I would not put to much faith in the test.
There are many members here that will guide you in the right direction. For example out of curiosity i did the test and my other half did not rate to well but i know better.


Hello markgm - thanks for the reply

May I be redundant here?
Are you suggesting that if I am in good discussions, being "up front" and all, with a girl for 6 months and there is no talk of lending or borrowing money, then it looks pretty good from a "scam" point of view? I wondered how that worked, but from what I am reading here, and all the other sites I have seen, this makes sense.

I tell you what, sir, she is a doll and a real "good" person from everything I can tell. Believe me, I have put her to more tests than she probably knows, but one thing that I find interesting, I find her asking ME "trick" questions from time to time, lol! She expresses her concern about abusive American men, etc. which I totally understand.
Thing is, I think I keep "looking" for things that are out of place, but nothing is; everything always turns up "clean". Maybe I am just afraid, I can believe that. I never thought I would go to Russia, but I am really interested in doing some serious sight seeing, heh.

I am glad I found this place, thank you again for the response

Cheers


Posted by: markgm

It is normal to be afraid most of us have been there as well. She does not show any signs of being a scammer from what you have written.
The fact that she is asking you some trick questions is a good sign as well. I would sugest keep an open mind and visit her go for a holiday and see what eventuates from it.


Posted by: markgm

Dont be afraid to Ask lots of questions on this site most of the guys you will find here will give you some pretty good advice.

Cheers Mate

PS. WElcome to the RMP


Posted by: I/O

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Good day all,

I have just joined up and haven't even edited my profile yet. I wasn't looking for a Russian girlfriend, or even a girlfriend but somehow I find myself falling for a Russian girl. Now, I have taken that relationship quiz, and I think that is a cool tool, I will give the feedback probably tomorrow; I just want to get a feel for what some experiends dudes might think of my situation, I have never been involved with a person overseas, so like my thread header says, maybe I am over-analyzing this.

I am a divorced 37 year old man, no kids. I live on a tight budget but have some goals that are attainable in the next 3 years. I found a website one night while looking for overseas pen pals to email with; I thought it would be a neat way to connect with the "old world" so to speak, as I am a History buff. Anyway, the site was russian euro and I set up my pro9file, "looking for friends and pen pals" and in my description of myself I stated right up front "I am not rich, and I am not looking for a wife or girlfriend". I spoke with several girls who were obviously looking for a husband...yadda yadda yadda and here I am now, I ended up emailing a girl named Inna.

It's been 6 months now, I should let you know that I am a crafty individual, I was blessed with a keen mind, I am street smart as well as book smart, so what I have done is I have gone out of my way to ask her specifically thought out, trick questions, she passes all tests.
She works at a reputable company in Moscow
She is Always available when she says she will be
We keep regular conversations, emails, IM chats, and phone calls - and not always "scheduled". I have emailed here work, called her at work and suprise called her at home. she has called me MORE often than I have called her - at 15 Cents a minute it's expensive, and like I said I do not have alot of money.
She hasn't asked me for anything, other than my honesty
We were going to meet in Helsinki, Finalnd first but my schedule prevents me from going there, so I am flying to Moscow
She rents a flat as expensive as my condo (1000 US a month)
She has no children
I have searched every Russian site I can find and looked for her name or photo, I have found nothing
She asks me detailed questions about Florida, and has full knowledge of my income and bills, still she wants to be with me, even if I am not rich.
She has offered her own money to pay for 3 nights at the hotel in Russia, but I know that may be ********, I don't know.


My only concern is that my test, I took here, said I had a 3 out of 5 chance of being scammed, I do not understand.
I have some good common sense and really feel in my heart like she is being truthful, but I would like to know, based upon my facts, what any of you think.

P.S. She has also sent me pictures of her and her family (unless they pick out random old people to pose with, lol!) and has even offered for me to stay with her in Moscow, but she has roomates and I would rather not.

Sorry if this is too long, just wanted to give my facts, and honestly I wanted to ask, because after all - it's a huge step for me to fly to friggin Russia of all places, for a girl.
Thank you


Mate you have a 3 out of 5 chance of being scammed in the local supermarket at home, so the statistics based quiz doesn't prove much.

From the facts you have presented, I would be 99% you are on a winner here. Probably the only thing I would suggest to go further is web cam conversations. (Maybe you have done this)

Money doesn't figure in the conversation of a "Decent" Russian lady. 6 months is a long time for her to hold out on you if she was up to no good. The fact that she is prepared to get specific in questions and answers is a very positive sign.

When you get vague answers it is a good indicater. Here is how mine answered 2 specific questions in about the second letter we exchanged. I asked of her life goals and interest in visiting other countries. (With the use only of an electronic translator)

"Hello XYZ, It is pleasant for me to read through your letter several times. I can answer your questions imediately. Yes of course I would enjoy to see other countries. I look often on TV and try to imagine, but it would be much more interesting to see these things in real. I do not know much about your country but I have been looking on the internet and wish to ask if some things are correct.....yada yada......

My goal right now is to complete my formation (Education) and find good work so I may bring up my son and give him a good opportunity in life. I have almost finished my study and will hand over final papers in August 2006. However, probably my bigger goal is to find a good man with whom I can create a real family. This is my dream. and so it went...............

The point is she came straight to the point of addressing my questions.

My view of your presentation is that you are onto someone genuine. You wont get scammed if you don't send money. pretty much self evident I think.


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by markgm
Dont be afraid to Ask lots of questions on this site most of the guys you will find here will give you some pretty good advice.

Cheers Mate

PS. WElcome to the RMP



Right on, thank you sir

Yeah, she seems pretty straight to me, maybe that's why I worry, heh

Have a good day, or good evening - what time is it where you are? lol!
See you on the board!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by I/O
Mate you have a 3 out of 5 chance of being scammed in the local supermarket at home, so the statistics based quiz doesn't prove much.

From the facts you have presented, I would be 99% you are on a winner here. Probably the only thing I would suggest to go further is web cam conversations. (Maybe you have done this)

Money doesn't figure in the conversation of a "Decent" Russian lady. 6 months is a long time for her to hold out on you if she was up to no good. The fact that she is prepared to get specific in questions and answers is a very positive sign.

When you get vague answers it is a good indicater. Here is how mine answered 2 specific questions in about the second letter we exchanged. I asked of her life goals and interest in visiting other countries. (With the use only of an electronic translator)

"Hello XYZ, It is pleasant for me to read through your letter several times. I can answer your questions imediately. Yes of course I would enjoy to see other countries. I look often on TV and try to imagine, but it would be much more interesting to see these things in real. I do not know much about your country but I have been looking on the internet and wish to ask if some things are correct.....yada yada......

My goal right now is to complete my formation (Education) and find good work so I may bring up my son and give him a good opportunity in life. I have almost finished my study and will hand over final papers in August 2006. However, probably my bigger goal is to find a good man with whom I can create a real family. This is my dream. and so it went...............

The point is she came straight to the point of addressing my questions.

My view of your presentation is that you are onto someone genuine. You wont get scammed if you don't send money. pretty much self evident I think.



Hey there I/O - thanks to you for the reply!

I laughed out loud about the supermarket example, no doubt. Here in Florida the stores overcharge everybody, not just tourists!

So anyway, yes, she does answer questions very straight forward, I was very impressed with her communications skills, and she also insists on specific answers from me as well.
There hasn't been any red flags yet, I think maybe that' what I am having a hard time grasping. At 37 (no I don't think I am old or anything) I am not the type to "just go with it" when it comes to my feelings, especially after being royally hosed by my ex-wife, now she was a scammer! This Inna, just seems like she wants to be loved by me, and to love me, again thank you for writing back.


I dig this site, you guys seem you have alot of fun.

Enjoy your day, or night!


Posted by: I/O

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Hey there I/O - thanks to you for the reply!

I laughed out loud about the supermarket example, no doubt. Here in Florida the stores overcharge everybody, not just tourists!

So anyway, yes, she does answer questions very straight forward, I was very impressed with her communications skills, and she also insists on specific answers from me as well.
There hasn't been any red flags yet, I think maybe that' what I am having a hard time grasping. At 37 (no I don't think I am old or anything) I am not the type to "just go with it" when it comes to my feelings, especially after being royally hosed by my ex-wife, now she was a scammer! This Inna, just seems like she wants to be loved by me, and to love me, again thank you for writing back.
I dig this site, you guys seem you have alot of fun.

Enjoy your day, or night!


Gonlaz Day actually.....we are about 14 hours in front of you. Probably the only thing we lead the world in. Most of the time we obediently follow along. Ooopps political correctness was not my Uni major.

Mate you are not done for yet....I am 41 and similarly have no kids. Just a side point, this is a bit of a win for a Russian lady if you don't have kids, because in our age group it is rare.

You must make your own judgement of course, but allow "Good sense" to prevail. Common sense is Bullsh!t because if it was so bloody common every bugger would have it and they don't.

The most powerful and tradable commodoity in the world is not money as everyone seems to think, but rather it is knowledge. Example: Many a rich man has been brought down by a poor man with knowledge.

The point: Continue to avail yourself of as much information as possible, particularly about Moscow and Russia. 2 things. 1) You will be well equipped to see any problems comming and 2) She, if genuine will very much appreciate your interest in her country and culture.

Keep us informed. All sounds good to me.


Posted by: andreas

Hi Gonlaz, the key here I think is that your lady is looking for a Good Man, money is not everyones highest priority. It was what I heard most from my girl when we first met and she still loves to call me her good boy

I noticed I/O has mentioned the same of his girl. I think there are women out there (world wide) that just want someone they can be happy with and have a laugh, someone who is responsible, they can trust and just have a good life with.

It sounds like you may have found one, good luck


Posted by: chippie

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Good day all,

I have just joined up and haven't even edited my profile yet. I wasn't looking for a Russian girlfriend, or even a girlfriend but somehow I find myself falling for a Russian girl. Now, I have taken that relationship quiz, and I think that is a cool tool, I will give the feedback probably tomorrow; I just want to get a feel for what some experiends dudes might think of my situation, I have never been involved with a person overseas, so like my thread header says, maybe I am over-analyzing this.

I am a divorced 37 year old man, no kids. I live on a tight budget but have some goals that are attainable in the next 3 years. I found a website one night while looking for overseas pen pals to email with; I thought it would be a neat way to connect with the "old world" so to speak, as I am a History buff. Anyway, the site was russian euro and I set up my pro9file, "looking for friends and pen pals" and in my description of myself I stated right up front "I am not rich, and I am not looking for a wife or girlfriend". I spoke with several girls who were obviously looking for a husband...yadda yadda yadda and here I am now, I ended up emailing a girl named Inna.

It's been 6 months now, I should let you know that I am a crafty individual, I was blessed with a keen mind, I am street smart as well as book smart, so what I have done is I have gone out of my way to ask her specifically thought out, trick questions, she passes all tests.
She works at a reputable company in Moscow
She is Always available when she says she will be
We keep regular conversations, emails, IM chats, and phone calls - and not always "scheduled". I have emailed here work, called her at work and suprise called her at home. she has called me MORE often than I have called her - at 15 Cents a minute it's expensive, and like I said I do not have alot of money.
She hasn't asked me for anything, other than my honesty
We were going to meet in Helsinki, Finalnd first but my schedule prevents me from going there, so I am flying to Moscow
She rents a flat as expensive as my condo (1000 US a month)
She has no children
I have searched every Russian site I can find and looked for her name or photo, I have found nothing
She asks me detailed questions about Florida, and has full knowledge of my income and bills, still she wants to be with me, even if I am not rich.
She has offered her own money to pay for 3 nights at the hotel in Russia, but I know that may be ********, I don't know.


My only concern is that my test, I took here, said I had a 3 out of 5 chance of being scammed, I do not understand.
I have some good common sense and really feel in my heart like she is being truthful, but I would like to know, based upon my facts, what any of you think.

P.S. She has also sent me pictures of her and her family (unless they pick out random old people to pose with, lol!) and has even offered for me to stay with her in Moscow, but she has roomates and I would rather not.

Sorry if this is too long, just wanted to give my facts, and honestly I wanted to ask, because after all - it's a huge step for me to fly to friggin Russia of all places, for a girl.
Thank you



Hey gonlaz,

I'm like you ,and am new to this forum. I started searching about 1 1/2 years ago, and wrote to some russian women, and they eventually asked for money. Like you I found one that I was totally honest about and put my cards up front. She did the same.
We e-mailed back and forth from January of this year and I finally decided that I needed to meet this woman after 6 months. I love to travel, and so if it didn't work out, I still would have a great trip. Like you I'm not rich, but I "pinch pennies" so I can travel. I have friends in France, so I only have to pay airfare when I go to France. Anyway I made the trip (Belarus) and was stunned when I arrived. She had sent me some nice photos via e-mail, but when we met she was stunning! She is down to earth, hard-working and dedicated. She has a 5 year old, and works hard to take care of him. I was there from the middle of June to July 1st (then went to France for 3 weeks). I will be flying back January 1st, and will be there until the 24th.
From everything that you wrote, it seems as though you have been as careful as possible. Next is to see if there is that chemistry. We men are visual animals, but there is much more to these women than meet the eye. What a difference from American women.
The only way that you will KNOW is to take the trip. Personally I think staying with her (and room mates) is out. Like you said, her paying is a nice offer, but that is something that you can take care of.
Look at the different threads on RMP, and ask questions. This is a great source. You can probably find some decent hotels in Moscow on this site, or someone will know of some.

Take care, and feel free to e-mail. Good luck in your search

Chippie


Posted by: swindoom

Chippie is right, you need to visit her as soon as possible, to see the her for real.


Posted by: ira156

Hey Gonlaz...welcome. Yep she sounds ok to me....just get over and see her...its a great place and you will have a great time.....you may click and you may not ...there is only one way to find out. If you do click ....watch out coz you are gone hook line and sinker....in a REALLY good way Cheers


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Welcome Gonlaz. Six months!!! You better get your butt over there before one of those Australians beat you to it!!! She sounds like a keeper. Don't worry about the doubts. Once you see her face you'll say, "Why did I wait so long"!!! Good luck and Happy Landing!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by chippie
Hey gonlaz,

I'm like you ,and am new to this forum. I started searching about 1 1/2 years ago, and wrote to some russian women, and they eventually asked for money. Like you I found one that I was totally honest about and put my cards up front. She did the same.
We e-mailed back and forth from January of this year and I finally decided that I needed to meet this woman after 6 months. I love to travel, and so if it didn't work out, I still would have a great trip. Like you I'm not rich, but I "pinch pennies" so I can travel. I have friends in France, so I only have to pay airfare when I go to France. Anyway I made the trip (Belarus) and was stunned when I arrived. She had sent me some nice photos via e-mail, but when we met she was stunning! She is down to earth, hard-working and dedicated. She has a 5 year old, and works hard to take care of him. I was there from the middle of June to July 1st (then went to France for 3 weeks). I will be flying back January 1st, and will be there until the 24th.
From everything that you wrote, it seems as though you have been as careful as possible. Next is to see if there is that chemistry. We men are visual animals, but there is much more to these women than meet the eye. What a difference from American women.
The only way that you will KNOW is to take the trip. Personally I think staying with her (and room mates) is out. Like you said, her paying is a nice offer, but that is something that you can take care of.
Look at the different threads on RMP, and ask questions. This is a great source. You can probably find some decent hotels in Moscow on this site, or someone will know of some.

Take care, and feel free to e-mail. Good luck in your search

Chippie


Hey there Chippie,

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate.

I have actually found a hotel, and I am paying for it; I was suprised to hear her offer that, it was when I didn't think I could go - she said it didn't matter about the money, just that we could see each other, and made the offer. I was completely shocked, but I am going and am paying for my own way of course, heh.

I am waiting for my paperwork to get my visa and hopefiully fly out January 26. Thankfully I have lived in Colorado and also Upper Michigan, the temps up there are about the same as Moscow in January.

Okay, gotta run - be seeing you guys on the board!


Posted by: markgm

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Hey there Chippie,

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate.

I have actually found a hotel, and I am paying for it; I was suprised to hear her offer that, it was when I didn't think I could go - she said it didn't matter about the money, just that we could see each other, and made the offer. I was completely shocked, but I am going and am paying for my own way of course, heh.

I am waiting for my paperwork to get my visa and hopefiully fly out January 26. Thankfully I have lived in Colorado and also Upper Michigan, the temps up there are about the same as Moscow in January.

Okay, gotta run - be seeing you guys on the board!


Goodluck with your Visa mate hope everything goes smooth for you Jan 26 is not that far away.


Posted by: chippie

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Hey there Chippie,

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate.

I have actually found a hotel, and I am paying for it; I was suprised to hear her offer that, it was when I didn't think I could go - she said it didn't matter about the money, just that we could see each other, and made the offer. I was completely shocked, but I am going and am paying for my own way of course, heh.

I am waiting for my paperwork to get my visa and hopefiully fly out January 26. Thankfully I have lived in Colorado and also Upper Michigan, the temps up there are about the same as Moscow in January.

Okay, gotta run - be seeing you guys on the board!



Gonlaz,

Don't forget that once you are on your flight and prior to your arrival you will probably ask yourself "Am I crazy, what in the h&ll am I doing?" If you ask, most of us that have taken that first big plunge and made the trip asked ourselves the same thing.
As Ira said, if things go well, it's hook, line, and sinker!

Good luck, Chippie


Posted by: Cheburashka

Dude, you can't lose! The worst case scenerio is that you fly over there and absolutely don't click at all. In fact, you hate each other. (worst case scenerio) Even then you will have an absolutely awesome vacation in an incredible country. And you will probably meet someone else.

The best case scenerio is that you meet and know without a shadow of a doubt that she is your one true love. Happy ending.

You can't lose!!!!

Better start learning Russian language now.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

You've been cooresponding for 6 months without any problems. I would see at worst you remain friends and will have a great time seeing the sights of her city together. Go, you'll have a great time!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by markgm
Goodluck with your Visa mate hope everything goes smooth for you Jan 26 is not that far away.



I don't want to go against forum rules, I think I can ask visa questions here in another forum, yes?


Posted by: gonlaz

CHEBURAHSKA - How much Russian should I learn, I have tried to go online and I found a basic site about it, but the language is extremely difficult for me, usually I am a good student but this is tough.

What specific words, phrases do you suggest? Maybe I can pick out a few just try to learn those?


Posted by: ira156

Hey Gonlaz. It depends on how much time and how easily you can pick it up. I did a hell of a crash course and learnt the basics. The usual

excuse me
please and thank you
do you speak english
sorry i dont understand russian
hello and good bye
ect

You will find that people will think well of you for just making the effort...even if they dont speak english. A good little help is the "lonely planet guide" it will give you common phrases for tourists and is small to carry around. As i have said before I would have had a really good trip even if it didnt work out with my lady.....she just made it a great trip....go and enjoy...cheers


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
You've been cooresponding for 6 months without any problems. I would see at worst you remain friends and will have a great time seeing the sights of her city together. Go, you'll have a great time!



Hey man,
I have a visa question, I went to that immigration thread and all I could find were threads about coming to America, not the Russian visa for going to Russia. When I get my hotel invitation, etc and mail that along with my passport and birth certificate, how long does it take? Is it "really" 6-10 business days?

Something else that troubles me, why would they want the name and date of birth of my ex-wife, like the visa application asks for? I find that a little strange...?

P.S. I lived in Michigan myself, for several years, in da U.P. and also in Ann Arbor, where are you located?

Thanks again!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by ira156
Hey Gonlaz. It depends on how much time and how easily you can pick it up. I did a hell of a crash course and learnt the basics. The usual

excuse me
please and thank you
do you speak english
sorry i dont understand russian
hello and good bye
ect

You will find that people will think well of you for just making the effort...even if they dont speak english. A good little help is the "lonely planet guide" it will give you common phrases for tourists and is small to carry around. As i have said before I would have had a really good trip even if it didnt work out with my lady.....she just made it a great trip....go and enjoy...cheers



Okay, I appreciate that, "The Lonely Planet Guide, eh?" I will look for one, I assume Borders or some place like that?

You have mentioned a few times about it not working out and still being a great trip. I am a little afraid about that, since I don't know the language, and if we didn't like each other, what would stop her from setting me up for being robbed, etc? As I understand it, if an American gets into trouble over there there is little or no help to be found, is that true?


Posted by: ira156

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Okay, I appreciate that, "The Lonely Planet Guide, eh?" I will look for one, I assume Borders or some place like that?

You have mentioned a few times about it not working out and still being a great trip. I am a little afraid about that, since I don't know the language, and if we didn't like each other, what would stop her from setting me up for being robbed, etc? As I understand it, if an American gets into trouble over there there is little or no help to be found, is that true?

Well Gonlaz, i can speak as an Aussie. Firstly you have told her you dont have a lot of money...so robbing you is pretty pointless....if you have gotten on well in your correspondence then as GTR said even if there is no chemistry then you will probably still be friends. When i went i only knew Nat and i didnt even know if she was going to be there as she had already planned a holiday before we started talking...as had I. I felt safer there than i do here....a bit of common scence...dont go to seedy clubs...dont go walking down dark abandoned streets ect ect...just take the precautions you would if you were visiting a big city in the US or England or anywhere. Your lady already likes you or she wouldnt be waisting her precious time...believe me....it will just come down to what we all call chemistry. You will see many posters here that went over and it didnt work out ...but they were still shown great hospitality...and its a great country and great people.....cheers Mate


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Hey man,
I have a visa question, I went to that immigration thread and all I could find were threads about coming to America, not the Russian visa for going to Russia. When I get my hotel invitation, etc and mail that along with my passport and birth certificate, how long does it take? Is it "really" 6-10 business days?

Something else that troubles me, why would they want the name and date of birth of my ex-wife, like the visa application asks for? I find that a little strange...?

P.S. I lived in Michigan myself, for several years, in da U.P. and also in Ann Arbor, where are you located?

Thanks again!


Take your invitation, hotel reservation, and passport to a travel agent and ask for a visa to Russia. You can also go on-line and google "russian visa florida". You can also go to a Russian embasy in Florida, or any other state, and ask for a visa. The embassy is the cheapest way to go, cuts out the middle man. It can take up to 2 weeks for a visa by mail.

Don't know anything about an ex-spouse birthday. Sounds like a visa application for a foreigner to come to America.

I live in Battle Creek ... cold and snowy!

Good luck and if you have any questions I'll be here.


Posted by: andreas

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Okay, I appreciate that, "The Lonely Planet Guide, eh?" I will look for one, I assume Borders or some place like that?

You have mentioned a few times about it not working out and still being a great trip. I am a little afraid about that, since I don't know the language, and if we didn't like each other, what would stop her from setting me up for being robbed, etc? As I understand it, if an American gets into trouble over there there is little or no help to be found, is that true?


I think you will be guarded like a hawk I doubt very much that it will be dislike, she likes you now and unless you do something really dumb or misrepresented youself online I cant see that it would be dislike.

If at worst you do not get along I feel she will be a great host, the language was not a problem for me, in the beginning hello, thankyou, goodbye was all I needed. Also while you are there you will pick up on a lot of commonly used words and you may surprise yourself.

If your girl speaks enough English to communicate with you then that should help a lot.


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Take your invitation, hotel reservation, and passport to a travel agent and ask for a visa to Russia. You can also go on-line and google "russian visa florida". You can also go to a Russian embasy in Florida, or any other state, and ask for a visa. The embassy is the cheapest way to go, cuts out the middle man. It can take up to 2 weeks for a visa by mail.

Don't know anything about an ex-spouse birthday. Sounds like a visa application for a foreigner to come to America.

I live in Battle Creek ... cold and snowy!

Good luck and if you have any questions I'll be here.



Hey, I went to the Official Russian Embassy web site and that's where I downloaded my Russian Visa application, yeah it asks for my ex wife's date of birth, just weird to me.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Okay, I appreciate that, "The Lonely Planet Guide, eh?" I will look for one, I assume Borders or some place like that?


You might also what to pick up a Russian-English/English-Russian dictionary. I found mine to be priceless!!! I paid $10 for mine and it teaches you Russian phonics, you can learn on the plane.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Hey, I went to the Official Russian Embassy web site and that's where I downloaded my Russian Visa application, yeah it asks for my ex wife's date of birth, just weird to me.


Hmmm, strange. I don't remember that question on the form. What is the form number?


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Go to this website and download the visa application. It doesn't ask for your ex-wife's name. If you like, PM me your e-mail address and I will send you the form in word format.

http://www.expresstorussia.com/visa_russia.html


Posted by: nocomfortzone

G'day gonlaz!
You sound like you've got your head screwed on well with a good attitude.
Just be true to yourself and your relationship thus far and the rest will take care of itself. Have a great adventure!!!


Posted by: Ade

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz

My only concern is that my test, I took here, said I had a 3 out of 5 chance of being scammed, I do not understand.
I have some good common sense and really feel in my heart like she is being truthful, but I would like to know, based upon my facts, what any of you think.



Hi,

The acid test is that you never know until you know! I did the test also, for fun, and I don't remember what the result was, except that it wasn't particularly good. I've been happily married for a year, and I absolutely know I'm going to be married to this woman until one of us gets buried.

Go visit, enjoy a holiday in a different environment, and enjoy yourself.

Don't fret an online test!!!

Ade


Posted by: Cheburashka

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
CHEBURAHSKA - How much Russian should I learn,


As much as you can. If you get over there without the basics you are screwed. If you can't even read the alphabet, you will never figure out the metro system, etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
I have tried to go online and I found a basic site about it, but the language is extremely difficult for me, usually I am a good student but this is tough.


It is extremely difficult for EVERYONE! That's why I said get started now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
What specific words, phrases do you suggest? Maybe I can pick out a few just try to learn those?


Get a phrase book and some audio CDs. That is a good place to start. Rosetta Stone language software is awesome.

Good luck


Posted by: chippie

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
I don't want to go against forum rules, I think I can ask visa questions here in another forum, yes?



Hey gonlaz,

For a visa I went on line to "gotorussia.com" and they have an online application. If you want, call them and ask any questions you might have. I sent them my passport the last week of November, and it returned with my Belarussian Visa today for my trip January 1st. This is the second time that I have used them.. I also have used them for flights. They do their best to match anyone's price.
I was learning a little russian before I left the first time and my computer crashed. I then bought the idoit's guide to learning Russian, and I learned the alphabet. It was priceless.

Good luck, Chippie


Posted by: markgm

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
CHEBURAHSKA - How much Russian should I learn, I have tried to go online and I found a basic site about it, but the language is extremely difficult for me, usually I am a good student but this is tough.

What specific words, phrases do you suggest? Maybe I can pick out a few just try to learn those?


Try here its not perfect but plenty of the guys use it and have tried it.

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...ead.php?t=10090

This is a talking dictionary to help with pronunciation.

http://www.livelaughlovelearn.com/gloss/


Posted by: GoeastLJ

Gonlaz,

Good luck. It is very difficult not to have a good time in Russian/Ukraine. I have heard of guys whose intended hosts failed to materialise, but I have met 3 ladies during this year and, on all occasions, they met me at the airport as soon as I cleared the customs and then made sure I was on the plane back at the end of the period. They seem to be very protective and caring. I was nearly in trouble when I suggested to my lady friend that she could leave me in the lounge as she had a long train journey back home. She took it as though I was desperate to get rid of her - I will never say that again.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoeastLJ
Gonlaz,

Good luck. It is very difficult not to have a good time in Russian/Ukraine. I have heard of guys whose intended hosts failed to materialised, but I have met 3 ladies during this year and, on all occasions, they met me at the airport as soon as I cleared the customs and then made sure I was on the plane back at the end of the period. They seem to be very protective nd caring. I was nearly in trouble when I suggested to my lady friend that she could leave me in the lounge as she had a long train journey back home. She took it as though I was desperate to get rid of her - I will never say again.


LOL - Yes they are protective and caring. The first time I went to see my wife, I told her I would hire a "Gal Friday" to take me from the Moscow International airport to the National airport. She said she would buy a ticket and meet me in Moscow. Now she never lets me arrive alone in Moscow. She's afraid I might get attacked by a gang of floosies! I hope to have her State side this summer.


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Hmmm, strange. I don't remember that question on the form. What is the form number?



It's at the russianembassy.org web site, I don't know the form # but I will get it tomorrow


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by markgm
Try here its not perfect but plenty of the guys use it and have tried it.

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...ead.php?t=10090

This is a talking dictionary to help with pronunciation.

http://www.livelaughlovelearn.com/gloss/



Nice, thanks again man


Posted by: gonlaz

I just want to say how thankful I am to you guys. I just got off the phone with my Inna, and told her that I found a place where I can chat with other men, and that it is helping my comfort level, she was happy to hear it

Thank you guys, thank you very much for being informative and not bothered with my questions!!


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Go to this website and download the visa application. It doesn't ask for your ex-wife's name. If you like, PM me your e-mail address and I will send you the form in word format.

http://www.expresstorussia.com/visa_russia.html


Try this site Gonlaz. http://www.expresstorussia.com/visa_russia.html


Posted by: Blueyes31

Hello everone,
Gonlaz, its sounding good, not that I have experience to say but these guys know what there talking about. I posted a thread just before the site changed servers and it was erased or lost but any way I was reading this one and it answered alot of my next questions. I to hadn't thought about meeting someone from another counrty and accidently fell into it. yours sounds a lot more solid than mine though. Good luck!

Chippie,
I hope you remember, you told me to get in touch with you some how and you would give me a site to check something out. I don't remeber now what it was but I couldn't figure out what you meant. i think it was leave you a message on here but I am new to this computer stuff and learning it by trail and era so if you can remember tell me again what to do if not thanks any way. I should have acted on it sooner and I would have got it before it was erased.

Thanks to ever one that helped, it was greatly apprieciated!

Blueyes31


Posted by: I/O

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
I just want to say how thankful I am to you guys. I just got off the phone with my Inna, and told her that I found a place where I can chat with other men, and that it is helping my comfort level, she was happy to hear it

Thank you guys, thank you very much for being informative and not bothered with my questions!!


Mate, you will find most of the guys in this situation have been there done that or are in the process. We all understand the frustrations and problems but we also understand the potential rewards.

The whole point of these types of forums is to help others facilitate their own journey. You will find that the "Russian women" have rubbed off onto us a bit and therefore we have leared to be a little protective also.

You will find that she will be very protective of you and your joint interests whilst you are there. An example I can give, similar to GTR is mine will not under any circumstances allow me to travel alone from the city I land in to her city. She just won't hear of it. !!!! I have enough Russian and know the situation enough to cope quite well alone, but she was pushing her head through the door to customs at the airport, took me by the arm and never let go of my arm until I went back through that same door again 2 weeks later.

Yes, she protects her own interests as it were, in other words I would get no opportunity to stray even if I wanted to, which I certainly don't, but it is the Russian thing to take care of the guest.

By the same token, don't expect her to as open and talkative as the western women. Russians tend to remain rather quiet and reserved in public. Simply a difference in culture.

Believe me, you will be hooked beyond redemtion....


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueyes31
Hello everone,
Gonlaz, its sounding good, not that I have experience to say but these guys know what there talking about. I posted a thread just before the site changed servers and it was erased or lost but any way I was reading this one and it answered alot of my next questions. I to hadn't thought about meeting someone from another counrty and accidently fell into it. yours sounds a lot more solid than mine though. Good luck!

Chippie,
I hope you remember, you told me to get in touch with you some how and you would give me a site to check something out. I don't remeber now what it was but I couldn't figure out what you meant. i think it was leave you a message on here but I am new to this computer stuff and learning it by trail and era so if you can remember tell me again what to do if not thanks any way. I should have acted on it sooner and I would have got it before it was erased.

Thanks to ever one that helped, it was greatly apprieciated! Blueyes31


You might want to start a thread for you so your story/questions don't get mixed up with Gonlaz's. Plus you'll know where to find any questions you may have asked. Just a suggestion.


Posted by: Blueyes31

GTR,
I had started my own thread or post but it was lost when RMP changed servers as well as my registration. I don't mean to cause a mix up if I have I am sorry. I just wanted to say those few words and I think I can get the other answers I need from just reading the other posts. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Blueyes31


Posted by: chippie

Chippie,
I hope you remember, you told me to get in touch with you some how and you would give me a site to check something out. I don't remeber now what it was but I couldn't figure out what you meant. i think it was leave you a message on here but I am new to this computer stuff and learning it by trail and era so if you can remember tell me again what to do if not thanks any way. I should have acted on it sooner and I would have got it before it was erased.

Thanks to ever one that helped, it was greatly apprieciated!

Blueyes31[/QUOTE]
Hey Blueyes,

I don't remember exaxtly what it was, but possible something to do with someone reliable who know RW so you do not become a victim of a scam. Does that ring a bell?
If so send me a note and I'll send you the website.

Chippie


Posted by: rk288

.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Hey there I/O - thanks to you for the reply!

I laughed out loud about the supermarket example, no doubt. Here in Florida the stores overcharge everybody, not just tourists!

So anyway, yes, she does answer questions very straight forward, I was very impressed with her communications skills, and she also insists on specific answers from me as well.
There hasn't been any red flags yet, I think maybe that' what I am having a hard time grasping. At 37 (no I don't think I am old or anything) I am not the type to "just go with it" when it comes to my feelings, especially after being royally hosed by my ex-wife, now she was a scammer! This Inna, just seems like she wants to be loved by me, and to love me, again thank you for writing back.


I dig this site, you guys seem you have alot of fun.

Enjoy your day, or night!





And there you have it...this is a woman who has your attention...a woman half way around the world who you have never met...the mind reels...the imagination runs wild...

Now focus!!! This is interesting...this is fascinating...this is something you have never done...an adventure...wonderland...OZ...

It is wonderland...more wonderful than you can imagine...

Go there...visit...experience it...visit her...bring her some small gifts and buy her some gifts while you are there...enjoy your vacation...then come back home and gather and revisit your experiences. Continue your communications with her. It may be difficult not to fall in love the first time...but give it time, a lot of time...

Go back to visit again...maybe this time to a different city...St Petersburg is out of this world as we know it. See if she will go to meet you there or require that you pay for her expenses to travel...

I've been scammed 3 times. The last one cost me $30,000.00 not including legal fees for a divorce. Do you have a lot of free cash?

If you're going to marry a woman from the fsu you're going to need it...visit her 2 or 3 times at the least...

I have an aquaintance who buys apartments in the fsu. He has been traveling there for a few years now every month to deal with his properties...the Russian woman he wants to marry??? She's married and lives in Arizona and is unhappy with her marriage...

My advice to you...visit Russia many times...it's not expensive if you use a Russian travel agent. My trip to St Pete using airmiles to travel was less than $1000.00 for 5 days including a luxury apartment in the Naval Academy on the river, food and VIP escort at the airport, etc..we dined at a 5 star restaurant one night, a 5 course meal, 4 hours with all the trimmings for $107.00...here that meal would have cost me $400.00 plus. No way I could finish any of the courses including the salad which was loaded with Duck meat...the plates were huge!

Take your time...enjoy...

RK

To bring her to the USA you are going to need to pay for those expenses and then have another $10,000.00 in your back pocket as play money unless she has a few thousand to contribute...


Posted by: rk288

P.S.

Learn to speak and understand a lot or Russian...

RK


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by I/O
Mate, you will find most of the guys in this situation have been there done that or are in the process. We all understand the frustrations and problems but we also understand the potential rewards.

The whole point of these types of forums is to help others facilitate their own journey. You will find that the "Russian women" have rubbed off onto us a bit and therefore we have leared to be a little protective also.

You will find that she will be very protective of you and your joint interests whilst you are there. An example I can give, similar to GTR is mine will not under any circumstances allow me to travel alone from the city I land in to her city. She just won't hear of it. !!!! I have enough Russian and know the situation enough to cope quite well alone, but she was pushing her head through the door to customs at the airport, took me by the arm and never let go of my arm until I went back through that same door again 2 weeks later.

Yes, she protects her own interests as it were, in other words I would get no opportunity to stray even if I wanted to, which I certainly don't, but it is the Russian thing to take care of the guest.

By the same token, don't expect her to as open and talkative as the western women. Russians tend to remain rather quiet and reserved in public. Simply a difference in culture.

Believe me, you will be hooked beyond redemtion....



I/O - Man, thanks for this post, I am really interested to see this, I must be honest, my ex-wife never showed any protective type behavior, one of the many (in my opinion) negatives of American women today, it's all "every man and woman for them selves" type of a thing. Of course, that IS a general statement, but I know it too well, myself. I hope Inna is like that, I haven't felt that from a mate, in many many years; I would think since about the age of 21.

One thing is that I am worried about. Inna is so different from what I read about many Russian women. She is outgoing, on the phone and also on emails, she jokes around - harshly like I do_ and doesn't have any qualms about it. She knows that I am probably going to give her a BIG hug and kiss at the airport, of course I won't be jumping her bones or being disrespectful; just a big ole "I am so happy to see you!" hug, heh.

Does this type of attitude change once you meet the first time? I mean, between this forum and me, she is just as outgoing as most girls I used to meet when I was younger, alot of life and good humor!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by rk288
.




And there you have it...this is a woman who has your attention...a woman half way around the world who you have never met...the mind reels...the imagination runs wild...

Now focus!!! This is interesting...this is fascinating...this is something you have never done...an adventure...wonderland...OZ...

It is wonderland...more wonderful than you can imagine...

Go there...visit...experience it...visit her...bring her some small gifts and buy her some gifts while you are there...enjoy your vacation...then come back home and gather and revisit your experiences. Continue your communications with her. It may be difficult not to fall in love the first time...but give it time, a lot of time...

Go back to visit again...maybe this time to a different city...St Petersburg is out of this world as we know it. See if she will go to meet you there or require that you pay for her expenses to travel...

I've been scammed 3 times. The last one cost me $30,000.00 not including legal fees for a divorce. Do you have a lot of free cash?

If you're going to marry a woman from the fsu you're going to need it...visit her 2 or 3 times at the least...

I have an aquaintance who buys apartments in the fsu. He has been traveling there for a few years now every month to deal with his properties...the Russian woman he wants to marry??? She's married and lives in Arizona and is unhappy with her marriage...

My advice to you...visit Russia many times...it's not expensive if you use a Russian travel agent. My trip to St Pete using airmiles to travel was less than $1000.00 for 5 days including a luxury apartment in the Naval Academy on the river, food and VIP escort at the airport, etc..we dined at a 5 star restaurant one night, a 5 course meal, 4 hours with all the trimmings for $107.00...here that meal would have cost me $400.00 plus. No way I could finish any of the courses including the salad which was loaded with Duck meat...the plates were huge!

Take your time...enjoy...

RK

To bring her to the USA you are going to need to pay for those expenses and then have another $10,000.00 in your back pocket as play money unless she has a few thousand to contribute...



dude, are you serious? 10,000 dollars for marriage?

Please clarify


Posted by: Pin Boy

easily 10 grand IN ALL (for starters) when you add up trips to visit (probably at least 3 before marriage) which would include entertainment, food and drink, travel within the country, immigration/visa fees, the cost of air her round trip air ticket, a wardrobe for her, cost to ship some of her belongings to the states, cost of putting on a wedding and some type of honeymoonish celebration, and taking on the cost of feeding and housing a second person.

i'm sure there are many other things i did not mention that others will. i'm also sure many will tell you ways to cut some of those expenses, but for sure this is a pricey (for most) adventure.

hope all goes well on your trip. no matter what happens, you'll be amazed at how amazed you'll be by the experience.

pin boy


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pin Boy
easily 10 grand IN ALL (for starters) when you add up trips to visit (probably at least 3 before marriage) which would include entertainment, food and drink, travel within the country, immigration/visa fees, the cost of air her round trip air ticket, a wardrobe for her, cost to ship some of her belongings to the states, cost of putting on a wedding and some type of honeymoonish celebration, and taking on the cost of feeding and housing a second person.

i'm sure there are many other things i did not mention that others will. i'm also sure many will tell you ways to cut some of those expenses, but for sure this is a pricey (for most) adventure.

hope all goes well on your trip. no matter what happens, you'll be amazed at how amazed you'll be by the experience.

pin boy



That's cool, I thought 10,000 all at once

I do have another question though, why at least 3 trips before marriage? I can only assume that you mean some sort of traditional arrangement where the girl is very close with her family, and you have to go through some "hoops" please forgive the casual terminology I mean no disrespect, with traditions, etc - is that correct?

Without going into my entire story, this girl is alot like me; not close with her entire family, and the family she has is pretty much spread out and they almost never "totally" get together for anything. She is a free spirit type, like I am - is there a requirement for so many trips there "pre-marriage"?


Posted by: markgm

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
That's cool, I thought 10,000 all at once

I do have another question though, why at least 3 trips before marriage? I can only assume that you mean some sort of traditional arrangement where the girl is very close with her family, and you have to go through some "hoops" please forgive the casual terminology I mean no disrespect, with traditions, etc - is that correct?

Without going into my entire story, this girl is alot like me; not close with her entire family, and the family she has is pretty much spread out and they almost never "totally" get together for anything. She is a free spirit type, like I am - is there a requirement for so many trips there "pre-marriage"?


There have also been many here who have also gone once met fallen in love married and are quite happy 2-4-6 years later.


Posted by: Jerico

For me it was 3 trips to Russia.
Everything all totaled (food,travel,visas,gifts,hotel, paperwork, paperwork,and more paperwork) i spent about 15000 dollars. Not to bad IMHO.
Jerry.

PS: My wife I met on my last trip to Russia.Then I put in the paperwork ,etc.
Now approaching the 2 year married mark.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Congrats on almost 2 years Jerico!!! Glad to hear the marriage is working. Gives me hope for a lifetime of love with my Russian wife. Take care of that Russian beauty of yours!


Posted by: Dave_N_Elvira

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
That's cool, I thought 10,000 all at once


You'll need about $4k up front for your first trip or maybe more if things go really well and you decide to apply for the fiancee visa that trip. The $4k will include airfare, accommodation and expenses. You will likely want to see a few sites there so expense wise treat it as you would a vacation.

Overall, I would say $10k would be a very conservative effort.

On average you are looking at:
3 trips to Russia
6-8 weeks accommodation
6-8 weeks of essentially holiday expenses (eating out, visiting sites and attractions)
Gifts like flowers etc for special occasions (birthdays, valentines, womens day, christmas, new years etc)

This part alone will run you close to $10k if not over it

Then you find the right lady:
Visa Expenses
A trip over to your country
New Wardrobe, furniture etc
The upkeep of her and any potential children she may have. Not a cheap prospect in western culture.
In quite a few cases, looking after the mother in the form of monthly payments
Wedding expenses

Don’t expect her to hit the ground running when she lands in your country. She will need time to adjust and although she may want to work, she will likely spend a few months adjusting before looking for a job.

You don’t have to pay everything at once but you will need to budget for around $20-25k over a three year period if you venture into this. Well worth it though when you find the right lady.



Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
I do have another question though, why at least 3 trips before marriage? I can only assume that you mean some sort of traditional arrangement where the girl is very close with her family, and you have to go through some "hoops" please forgive the casual terminology I mean no disrespect, with traditions, etc - is that correct?


Nope. There are a number of reasons.

1. Sometimes you visit someone on the first trip and it doesn’t work out. However it’s not hard to fall in love with the place and you return to see someone else. Some people make 2,3 or 4 trips before they find that special someone.
2. When you do meet the woman of your dreams there and you finally have to go home, you will understand why 3+ trips happen. When you return home after a few weeks with your russian woman you will feel a gaping hole left inside you and you will want to be re-united as soon as possible.


Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
is there a requirement for so many trips there "pre-marriage"?


Nope. The requirement you must have is to prove the relationship is genuine and lasting. More trips makes it looks better but one trip is okay. When you travel to see here, take as many photos as you can around landmarks, with family and friends and with you looking like a loving couple (ie: embracing each other, kissing each other etc). This evidence is required for any visa application.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Also save any ticket stubs, hotel bills, visas, phone bills, or anything that can prove you have a relationship with her and met her in Russia.


Posted by: JTW

rk288, you mentioned in your reply you have been scammed three times???
Would you be so kind as to sharing the details about this? That scares me!!!


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by JTW
rk288, you mentioned in your reply you have been scammed three times???
Would you be so kind as to sharing the details about this? That scares me!!!


Three times huh? Thats just bad luck. I would change web sites where you meet these "women" and do not reply to women that e-mail you first. This will increase your chances quite a bit. I'm not saying all scammers contact men first but it increases your odds of finding a woman interested in love ... not money! My wife e-mailed me first.

Good luck guys and welcome to the forum!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Also save any ticket stubs, hotel bills, visas, phone bills, or anything that can prove you have a relationship with her and met her in Russia.



Yes, I was reading about that on a site somewhere, before I cam here. I already plan on taking tons of pictures, but I was reading that specific pictures of us toether, in an obvious loving or couple way, is what they like to see. Not that I wouldn't take those pictures anyway, anything else along these lines you suggest specifically?


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by gonlaz
Yes, I was reading about that on a site somewhere, before I cam here. I already plan on taking tons of pictures, but I was reading that specific pictures of us toether, in an obvious loving or couple way, is what they like to see. Not that I wouldn't take those pictures anyway, anything else along these lines you suggest specifically?


No I don't think so. If I think of anything I'll let you know.


Posted by: Jerico

GTR, Thanks for the congrats on almost two years. Hehhe it goes so fast and seems like yesterday I was sitting in a Moscow cafe with my wife. I kind of miss that.Hard to believe that was 3 years ago.


Quote:
Yes, I was reading about that on a site somewhere, before I cam here. I already plan on taking tons of pictures, but I was reading that specific pictures of us toether, in an obvious loving or couple way, is what they like to see


The pictures you want to take are with Russian Cyrillic writing in the background so as to prove you were there. Take some pictures in front of a cafe sign or in the many malls. I only had 4 pictures of me and my wife together and they were not this kind of picture so it didn`t matter I guess.

Quote:
rk288, you mentioned in your reply you have been scammed three times???

3 times? that is bad luck.
All the women I wrote to were definately real ladies.
Of course when you go to Russia you meet some of your ladies friends.
The first woman I met had many doctor friends and they were single and also looking for men on the net. They were in the same catalog as this woman I went to meet in Volgograd. Beautiful woman these ladies were. Amazing they were single. I actually felt sorry for them because in America they would have no problems meeting men. For some reason they just couldn`t meet nice guys.Men did visit these ladies but there was no connection I guess.Perhaps they are still single today. These ladies were in Elenas models site.Best money I ever spent and cheap too. This was over 3 years ago and I noticed the format has changed some so I couldn`t say how this site is today.
Jerry


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerico
GTR, Thanks for the congrats on almost two years. Hehhe it goes so fast and seems like yesterday I was sitting in a Moscow cafe with my wife. I kind of miss that.Hard to believe that was 3 years ago.


Yes I know what you mean, it is hard to believe I met my wife 11 months ago.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerico
These ladies were in Elenas models site.Best money I ever spent and cheap too. This was over 3 years ago and I noticed the format has changed some so I couldn`t say how this site is today.
Jerry


In my opinion, it is the best site on the Internet. It is still cheap and I met my wife there.


Posted by: I/O

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
Yes I know what you mean, it is hard to believe I met my wife 11 months ago.
In my opinion, it is the best site on the Internet. It is still cheap and I met my wife there.


Elenas is quite a good site. I actually still have a profile there which should have been deleted long ago, but there is something that says when you pre-pay for a given period you are kind of inclind to somehow get the value of staying there. Pretty stupid I guess because I never go there now anyway. I think there is 2 or 3 months still to run on my subscription and I would be happy to do a good deal for someone to buy me out and change the details... (No I am not advertising here)

The owner of Elenas lives on the Gold Coast about 1 hour 20 from me and her husband is a pretty decent guy also. There is a few scammers sneaking in there now but by and large it is ok. Just watch this a bit because she is the origional seller so to say and they are onto everything in order to sell you something, books, info, advice, you name it.

Lucky Lovers is another one, but it is riddled with scammers, however by the sheer weight of numbers there is a number of decent ladies there. I met mine there so I won't condemn it.

Anything that has a "Pay by the letter" type of scheme should be avoided in my opinion. Anything coming out of Lughansk or Karkov in Ukraine should be treated with extreme care. There is genuine ones there, but again, extreme care.


Posted by: ira156

Quote:
Originally Posted by I/O
Elenas is quite a good site. I actually still have a profile there which should have been deleted long ago, but there is something that says when you pre-pay for a given period you are kind of inclind to somehow get the value of staying there. Pretty stupid I guess because I never go there now anyway. I think there is 2 or 3 months still to run on my subscription and I would be happy to do a good deal for someone to buy me out and change the details... (No I am not advertising here)

The owner of Elenas lives on the Gold Coast about 1 hour 20 from me and her husband is a pretty decent guy also. There is a few scammers sneaking in there now but by and large it is ok. Just watch this a bit because she is the origional seller so to say and they are onto everything in order to sell you something, books, info, advice, you name it.

Lucky Lovers is another one, but it is riddled with scammers, however by the sheer weight of numbers there is a number of decent ladies there. I met mine there so I won't condemn it.

Anything that has a "Pay by the letter" type of scheme should be avoided in my opinion. Anything coming out of Lughansk or Karkov in Ukraine should be treated with extreme care. There is genuine ones there, but again, extreme care.

Hey I/O i met my Nat on Lucky Lovers by accident. I went on because of the instant chat...just to talk to some people in the cities i would be visiting....when i met Nat. I had already planned my trip and had made no plans to meet anyone....just fate i guess....you wont here me complaining ....Yoska ola is one to watch out for in Russia


Posted by: I/O

Quote:
Originally Posted by ira156
Hey I/O i met my Nat on Lucky Lovers by accident. ...Yoska ola is one to watch out for in Russia


Yeah and Kazan. Did you guys hear about the scamming group the rounded up in Yoshka Ola a few months back. 200 of them in one group. They were reeling cash flow from foriegn men of get this....$100 USD / minute...!!! $6000 USD / Hour 24/7 ............!!!! Good deal for Russia.

Meeting by accident......hmmmmmmm. I had a profile there for a while and actually met someone who seemed really nice, travelled to Ukraine for a meeting and enough to say, she was not quite so nice...

On the way home on the plane I was chewing over the future and decided to delete all emails in my profile and sit for while and do nothing. Well I had deleted all of 20 odd new letters except one when the phone rang. Talking to a mate for about an hour caused me to be fiddling with the mouse and I eventually opened that letter. The rest is history.


Posted by: Blueyes31

Hey everone,

Just one quik question. If I wanted to send flowers to a woman I have been talking to (to surprise her) how would I go about? She lives in Moscow.


Posted by: ira156

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueyes31
Hey everone,

Just one quik question. If I wanted to send flowers to a woman I have been talking to (to surprise her) how would I go about? She lives in Moscow.

Hit Google...type in "moscow flowers" and you will find heaps


Posted by: I/O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueyes31
Hey everone,

Just one quik question. If I wanted to send flowers to a woman I have been talking to (to surprise her) how would I go about? She lives in Moscow.


www.flowerstorussia.com Mate, I have used this mob and no problems. (I hope this isn't advertising here. Admin, please delete if I have over stepped the mark)


Posted by: Blueyes31

Thanks ira156 and I/O for the help. It's greatly appreciated

Blueyes31


Posted by: Blueyes31

I/O
Is it like any other site, just use a card to purchase?

Blueyes31


Posted by: rk288

FTD is also a good deal...beautiful arrangement guaranteed...

RK


Posted by: I/O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueyes31
I/O
Is it like any other site, just use a card to purchase? Blueyes31


Yes. The site accepts most cards, but I generally find that with FSU services as when in the FSU, Visa is probably the most useful.

They are not cheap, but the service is first rate.


Posted by: ham

Quote:
She expresses her concern about abusive American men, etc. which I totally understand.

hmm
Yellow alert. That person doesn't read like some country girl growing potatoes in the middle of nowhere (=more likely to be fed myths and hearsay ). If she has EVER (had) issues with men (EG local men are all violent jobless drunkards/abusive westerners etc ), then keep in mind you're a man & you might very likely be next.

Quote:
I live on a tight budget


i leave this to consider for yourself. Is she has the kind of disposable income it appears she has, then relocation abroad under a tight budget will be no less than shocking. $1000 go a much longer way in the FSU than they do in the west. In the west $1000 a month are the lowest portion of the income ladder, in the FSU the top portion ( barred beggars & top dollars ). None wants to worsen their odds. I can take heat for repeating this, but (unfortunately) life is like that, not flowery concepts. Carefully scrutinize her "financial comfort zone" & yours...raw numbers mean little...

Quote:
easily 10 grand IN ALL (for starters) when you add up trips to visit (probably at least 3 before marriage) which would include entertainment, food and drink, travel within the country, immigration/visa fees, the cost of air her round trip air ticket, a wardrobe for her, cost to ship some of her belongings to the states, cost of putting on a wedding and some type of honeymoonish celebration, and taking on the cost of feeding and housing a second person.

i'm sure there are many other things i did not mention that others will. i'm also sure many will tell you ways to cut some of those expenses, but for sure this is a pricey (for most) adventure.


Mostly accurate. Mileages vary but the point here is: YOU SHOULD NOT go ahead head over heels while you count on money, which still has to be made or earnt, perhaps getting into debts.

go there as soon as possible and find out, while keeping in mind there are not only scammers requesting $ because daddy needs a new liver, but novelty seekers and the like.


Posted by: GoingToRussia

I also use http://www.russianflora.com. It's good to see what else is available if you don't like what they have at the other flower site. Might have the same thing for a lower price.

Sounds serious BlueEyes ... good luck!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by ham
hmm
Yellow alert. That person doesn't read like some country girl growing potatoes in the middle of nowhere (=more likely to be fed myths and hearsay ). If she has EVER (had) issues with men (EG local men are all violent jobless drunkards/abusive westerners etc ), then keep in mind you're a man & you might very likely be next.


I think I wrote that quote you referred to with this post, it's been a few days and my mind has been elsewhere.
I think I get what you are saying, she never goes on and on about abusive men but she's asked me questions that I consider to be acceptable and "usual" not anymore than American girls to tell you the truth. All in all I think humans are humans, men are men and women are women, all over the world. Isn't it realistic to think a woman might ask these questions if she is meeting a man she doesn't know?
Hell, I don't know about where you live but here in Florida, and other cities I have lived in like Detroit, Colorado Springs, most women are very protective of themselves these days. However, I have enough common sense to know when I am in real danger.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ham
i leave this to consider for yourself. Is she has the kind of disposable income it appears she has, then relocation abroad under a tight budget will be no less than shocking. $1000 go a much longer way in the FSU than they do in the west. In the west $1000 a month are the lowest portion of the income ladder, in the FSU the top portion ( barred beggars & top dollars ). None wants to worsen their odds. I can take heat for repeating this, but (unfortunately) life is like that, not flowery concepts. Carefully scrutinize her "financial comfort zone" & yours...raw numbers mean little...


Well, I have done what I consider to be a very good job of spelling out what I make and what I pay for my bills, etc. but you are right, I haven't lived in Russia, I have no idea how far it really goes. she explains that the cost of living for herself is not "homeless" and according to her she pays the same amount of rent that I do, living in Moscow, but who "really" knows anyway...



Quote:
Originally Posted by ham
Mostly accurate. Mileages vary but the point here is: YOU SHOULD NOT go ahead head over heels while you count on money, which still has to be made or earned, perhaps getting into debts.

go there as soon as possible and find out, while keeping in mind there are not only scammers requesting $ because daddy needs a new liver, but novelty seekers and the like.


What do you mean, novelty seekers exactly?


Posted by: Pin Boy

i think what ham means by novelty seekers is women who may think it is exciting to correspond with a foreign man and are more attracted to the idea than the person. but in your case, i hope not.

pin boy


Posted by: gonlaz

Well, Inna told me today in an email she sent from her job site, that she got the voucher from the Hotel, she has made the reservation for me and I am taking the voucher and invitation and sending it off to the Russian Embassy in Washington to review my visa application. I will buy my Airline ticket on the 29th and fly out January 27th.


I know I came on here worrying about being scammed, and who knows what will happen. I just know that many American girls who have lied to me, cheated on me and stolen from me - This Inna is getting the information I need for the visa, etc; it just doesn't seem like that sort of situation to me - but I live my life as risk free as possible, I have managed to huddle myself into my little world of not taking risks because of my marriage and I usually do not trust anyone, especially a sweet talker of a girl. She really seems to love me...

Famous last words, eh? LOL!


Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pin Boy
i think what ham means by novelty seekers is women who may think it is exciting to correspond with a foreign man and are more attracted to the idea than the person. but in your case, i hope not.

pin boy



Ahh, gotcha - thanks


Posted by: GoingToRussia

My scamo-meter says that 99.9% she is legit ... a keeper ... serious. Don't worry about being scammed. You might want to reimberse her for the invitation. She probably paid between $10-$35 for it. If it is being fxed to you, then of course it costs her more. Be sure to register your visa within 3 days of landing in Russia. My wife registers me a the local cop shop!

So you're off to Russia in about 6 weeks .... COOL!!! I hope you come back smiling!!!

HAPPY LANDINGS!!!


Posted by: GoingToRussia

Oh yeah, take good notes and write a trip report when you get back!!! I enjoy them the most. They are all interesting and you learn new things like other parts of Russia you might want to visit.


Posted by: Dave_N_Elvira

Quote:
I know I came on here worrying about being scammed, and who knows what will happen. I just know that many American girls who have lied to me, cheated on me and stolen from me - This Inna is getting the information I need for the visa, etc; it just doesn't seem like that sort of situation to me - but I live my life as risk free as possible, I have managed to huddle myself into my little world of not taking risks because of my marriage and I usually do not trust anyone, especially a sweet talker of a girl. She really seems to love me...


Gonlaz, your lady is in Moscow