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Australian Defence Force "Rules"
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Posted by: firemansam

ADF RULES

SAS Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose calibre does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of calibre, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Clearance Dive Team Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedos.
4. Check hair in mirror.

Commando Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

Army Rules:

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patches on right shoulder.
3. Change the colour of beret you decide to wear.

Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on Foxtel.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Parliament with a "killer" Power-Point resentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Senators. Invite DMO & Defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 "Tee-time."

Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. DSOTS <--- Systems Checks
3. Drink Coffee
4. DCX <--- Damage Control Exercises
5. Drink Coffee
6. Watch porn. <--- Um...
7. Drink Coffee
8. Deploy the SAS.