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A General Interpretation of a FSU Woman
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Posted by: mattmaker

Here is a interpretation about Russian Women, I think it is a pretty close....

The Beautiful, mysterious, intelligent, loving, caring girl, women, lover wife (or) the evil, treacherous, calculative vamp who will take your money and sleep with your neighbor ! Who is the FSU women? An FSU women is just another women… she could be in Belarus, Ukraine, Moscow, Romania, Moldova, Turkey, Egypt. FSU women can be found all over Russia and the Former USSR territories. Who are these women? And what are they like?
FSU women are generally wonderful and nice Yes, they are beautiful, and they cook well and take care of the home and children. They are taught that it is their meaning in life and that they should take care of their beauty, these women have been brought up from kids that the beauty is all a man looks for – Do not try to justify, that not all men are perverted and care more about whats inside a women than her breast and Buttocks – Cause a FSU women will not believe that a man can be righteous. Why would she? after all her mother, friends, family and every women she knows has told her so ever since she was born that men only care about their body – do you think you can change her mind in one day, just because you told her so ? Think Again….
But compared to western culture, Russian characters are a lot different. Not bad, it just takes some getting accustomed to these women.. I am NOT saying that Russian people are bad. They are just different from the western women.
"Russians are not all bad. There are good and bad people everywhere. Many Russians have kind hearts. They are the most hospitable people I have ever encountered. A Russian friend is a good friend. They love to have fun and if you need help, they are usually there to do it.
After Living in different parts of Russia for nearly 10 years I have noticed some common traits in Russian Women

FSU women are easily offended; most of them have suffered long periods of struggle in their life that they don’t believe in anything good (I am not sure if this is a result of communism, but I have noted a general sense of pessimism in FSU women). Most single women in their 20’s have very little trust in a man and they take offense of the smallest things. A Western man would be shocked and confused to find that his Russian women would fight with him for no reason. To the Western Male it could be no offense at all and probably no fault of his, but a Russian Women’s temper can be unpredictable, Not all but most Russian women in their 20’s have bad tempers and are famous for being unreasonably angry for no reason at all.

Russian women tend to have a very sharp temper and when they are angry they don’t care about reason so don’t try to reason with them, all they care about is winning the argument or in simpler terms, they want to be in control of the situation and don’t like anyone telling them they are wrong or they are being angry for no reason.

FSU women normally are wonderful and they really take care of their homes, but Russia, Ukraine, Moldova and many of the FSU countries have the highest divorce rates in the world, this partly could be because of war and communism. When a married couple fights , Neither the Russian Man nor the Women try to make peace and try to save the relationship, The Russian Man knows he will find a more beautiful and younger wife so he does not care much to save the marriage and the Russian Women’s temper and anger over shadow any reasoning and tries nothing to save the marriage either, which is one of the primary reasons for such high divorce rates, economy also plays an important part in these marriages, but eventually it all boils down to whether they want to save the relationship or not, and in most cases both the male and female prefer to go their separate ways instead of making adjustments with each other, which is very different from how American couples work.

If you were to ask a Russian Women whether she would try to save her marriage she would probably say yes she would give everything in her power to save the family, but that is far from reality, the Men have created such an environment for women that these women have been suppressed and ill treated for so long in Russian cultures that Women no longer feel a need to save the marriage, it has now become a battle of the EGO’s and the women don’t want to apologize even if they are at fault. It has become easier to get divorce than to apologize for their mistakes or to forgive the other for one. And both Men and Women are equally responsible for Russia having the highest Divorce rates in the world.

The typical Russian males have in general been promiscuous and it is very common for a man to have sexual relationship with more than one woman at the same time in Russia, this has lead to a very pitiable condition, where a lot of Russian women have accepted the fact that it is okay for the males to sleep with other women. It hold well for the other way around too, Russian women have for ages been known to be promiscuous, over time Russian Women have been known for having sexual relationships with multiple men outside of their marriages, but I have personally seen this only with younger women “married FSU women in their early 20’s” this sexual behavior is possibly an influence from their European Neighbors where having many sexual partners is considered normal. But there is no hard evidence to prove the real cause and the statistics, for now it remains a very popular myth among American men and teens in other countries that Russian women are promiscuous.

I once had a colleague of mine admiring a beautiful women at a Bar, he told me that she was very pretty, soon enough she was kissing another man who apparently looked like her boyfriend or husband. I smiled and told my colleague that she was probably married, to my surprise my colleague said he would still hit on her, I was surprised and asked why, he said “She’s Russian”

Needless to say, such Myths and beliefs have tampered and corrupted the nature and character of a Russian women and presents a false idea about who Russian women really is. This also sends a very wrong message to Russian Teenager who misunderstands their body to be a sexual tool to obtain material gains.

FSU Women are like any other women, they are beautiful women but they can also be very volatile and unreasonably sometimes.

Expect her to be jealous. Expect her to hate your jealousy, this is a very common trait of a FSU women, some men like this character, some men don’t!

Don't expect her to say "please" and "thank you". Russians say these words to strangers, not to friends and family. Once again a trend that I have seen, I am not saying all Russian are like this !

If you marry a Russian women and take her to your country Don't expect her to be grateful for her new life in your country, she will not understand your effort or will at least take a couple of years before she fully appreciates what you have provided her with, It takes a while for her to adapt and understand and blend into a different culture and you as a man have to understand this and be patient with her. Most failed marriages between Russian women and a American man is early in the marriage , possibly within the first year of marriage – this is because she still hasn’t adapted to the culture and both of your need to be patient, if either one is impatient the result will be a bad divorce!

Don't expect her to understand money if you are an American, She will think the average salary is $100,000-$150,000. Most FSU women think Americans are loaded with money up their Buttocks! It took over 3 years for my wife to completely understand how the American dollar works, and don’t try to explain money to your Russian Lady… she will only be offended, I know it is hard for men to understand what I mean, but trust me, Russian women do not understand the American Dollar and don’t try your luck trying to explain it to her…..

Don't ever expect her to understand your humor. Humor doesn't translate into any other language or culture. A joke in English is stupid for a Russian Women and don’t try to reason out the Joke and prove that it was funny cause she will think you are trying to criticize her knowledge of English. The Point - Russians think American humor is stupid to the core. Typically you will hear from her the statement “That’s not Funny at all” !

To conclude FSU women are like any other women around the world, they are can be caring and affectionate and can be the most loving life partners you will ever find, but they also have thorns that can hurt you, just like any other country there are bad and good women. If you find a FSU women who is Caring, sweet and willing to adjust and sacrifice for you, you just found yourself the greatest treasure in the world… hang on to it, if else keep looking!

As for these forums, having married my wife from ukraine 10 years ago, Just make sure you understand that language will be a huge hurddle to cross, remember there will many many misunderstandings between you your Russian Lady because of the language barrier, Expect her to think she is very good in English , she probably is ... But in her own country, but she will assume that she is good elsewhere too, for all you know she might be working in a large corporation holding a executive position and this probably makes her feel that her knowledge of english is superior, probably to extent that she beleives her English is better than yours

Dont try to argue, you and I know that her English is bad, it took my wife 2 years to understand, it wasnt until she was told by strangers that she realised that English may not be as good as she thought..

I beleive, until then the language problem will be the biggest reason for a relationship breakdown. this may not be the primary cause - it will certainly hold its place in other issues, as there is very little room for discussion.

I had to wait it out for 2 years, and after 2 years of living in the US she came up to me one day and said "baby i want to learn English" I was suprised, everytime i had suggested this, she felt that i offended her and she would argue and fight and be upset, but I guess the man at the Gas station just could not understand her English and told her straight up, she finally understood, I guess sometimes we dont listen to our Friends, family and loved ones, we need to hear it from a stranger!

sometimes its good to let her decide where she stands,
Just a thought, there are scammers , agencies , visa's and so many other problems and issues you will face .. just recognize the fact that after you have crossed all these hurddles .. there is one more hurddle... and the last one is making it last a lifetime .... So think well before you choose a women, not only is important to look for good characteristics is your women ... make sure she understands what to expect when she comes to US, dont set false expectations for yourself and her ... I assure you, you will regret it latter !
Thanks

Posted by: zumanity

You are probably elementary school teacher, aren't you?

Posted by: Spakoyna

Actually much of what he says is true of many! I am tempted to post this over in RK's thread very intense now. Of course not all FSU women are this way but many are.

Posted by: zumanity

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Actually much of what he says is true of many! I am tempted to post this over in RK's thread very intense now. Of course not all FSU women are this way but many are.

yet here is an environment of sharp thinking and bonhomie-which is not appropriate for schoolbus drivers

Posted by: Tami

mattmaker,some of things you wrote are true,but the most of written is a big,huge lie!!! I'm sorry you married a russian lady with all this negative characteristics you wrote here.

It looks like you are a very unsatisfied ,unhappy and angry man

.I'm sorry your wife didn't understand american dollar for so long...but I know all russian wifes of american men are very thrifty and they understand financial situation of their husbands.They are not spoiled with money because they didn't make much in Fatherland.I have a question-what you were doing in Russia for 10 years?Drinking in bars and looking for whores (usually only prostitutes go to bars and pubs in Russia and FSU) or you met your russian wife there in the bar?

I live here only for 1 year and 10 months and can say many negative things about american women. I respect this country and I should not say anything bad.I'm very grateful to my american mother-in-law for such a great husband for me!!!People are different in any country.I met very nice people here.
I wish all seeking men to find their half and to be very happy. I'm very happy with my husband,

we love each other and we take a good care of each other.I think I spoiled him in many ways- I take care of him as a georgian-russian wife and sometimes I would like to hear from him an offer to help me...Sometimes he says that I take too good care of him...For me it is normal to behave this way. I do everything what a good wife has to do.All my belorussian and georgian girlfriends are taking care of their husbands the same way.
I don't agree about divorces.Typically russian women live with alcoholics and cruel husbands for many years.Russian women try to save the families.Divorce comes when it is not possible to stand spouse's behavior (he drinks,or has lovers,or abuses) and a couple can't live together.
Mattmaker,I didn't read all your post to the end-it was too long for me...Now I read it again...
I love american humor.I have fun with joking to my american friends.I think russian humor is a "black" humor because of a difficult life there...Russians joke about their problems not having a hot water,etc.
I love when my husband tells me "thank you" or "please".Russian men never say this words to girls/wifes.I'm pleased with this sweet words and I say "thank you" or "please" back.
I hope all seeking for a russian/belorussian/ukrainian wife guys will be happy with their ladies.

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tami

mattmaker,some of things you wrote are true,but the most of written is a big,huge lie!!! I'm sorry you married a russian lady with all this negative characteristics you wrote here.

It looks like you are a very unsatisfied ,unhappy and angry man

Hey Tami im with you mate. We have all had bad experiences with men/ women in every country. We constantly see negative posts on here but it is great first of all to have another FSU woman on here, and even better to see the love and happiness that you share with your husband. I just hope my RF will be on here as my wife saying similar things in years to come. Matt im not disputing your experiences, just the fact that they are not all that way. Cheers all.

Posted by: markgm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tami

mattmaker,some of things you wrote are true,but the most of written is a big,huge lie!!! I'm sorry you married a russian lady with all this negative characteristics you wrote here.

It looks like you are a very unsatisfied ,unhappy and angry man

Tami i also agree with you one thing Nat loves about me is my Aussie Humor and she likes to Joke as well.

Matt you can also find that type of woman in our country pretty easily as well mate its not just confined to FSU women.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tami

mattmaker,some of things you wrote are true,but the most of written is a big,huge lie!!! I'm sorry you married a russian lady with all this negative characteristics you wrote here.

It looks like you are a very unsatisfied ,unhappy and angry man

Some wise words and genuine comments Tami...I am glad you found a good husband and have settled into life in your new country so well!!

Chris

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

ause a FSU women will not believe that a man can be righteous. Why would she? after all her mother, friends, family and every women she knows has told her so ever since she was born that men only care about their body – do you think you can change her mind in one day, just because you told her so ? Think Again….

Huh? We must know VERY different RW then....My RW friends do NOT think like this.

Quote:

Not all but most Russian women in their 20’s have bad tempers and are famous for being unreasonably angry for no reason at all.

Really? No reason at all? I'm sorry, but this is really spoken like a man. No reason that YOU understand is not the same as no reason at all. I'm sure with some effort and understanding you could find a reason!

Quote:

Neither the Russian Man nor the Women try to make peace and try to save the relationship, The Russian Man knows he will find a more beautiful and younger wife so he does not care much to save the marriage and the Russian Women’s temper and anger over shadow any reasoning and tries nothing to save the marriage either,

I know many Russian couples and this does not describe them at all! Sure, some people like this exist (they do in the US too!), but I would not generalize in this manner. It most certainly doesn't describe the majority of Russian couples I know...

Quote:

economy also plays an important part in these marriages, but eventually it all boils down to whether they want to save the relationship or not, and in most cases both the male and female prefer to go their separate ways instead of making adjustments with each other, which is very different from how American couples work.

I would say the economy (unemployment, having to live with in laws, etc) is the main reason. How is it different from American couples though? The divorce rate in the US is, I believe, just over 50% so we really have not earned the right to be self-righteous about our relationship skills and commitment. And what are the leading causes of divorce in the US? Money and sex. And with over half of marriages failing in the US, it seems we can be just as bad about tolerance and compromise as any Russian, and perhaps even worse as we generally live in better economic circumstances. Even with this advantage, however, our divorce rate is in the toilet.

Quote:

and don’t try to explain money to your Russian Lady… she will only be offended, I know it is hard for men to understand what I mean, but trust me, Russian women do not understand the American Dollar and don’t try your luck trying to explain it to her…..

I think most Russian women are intelligent and educated enough to grasp basic concepts of the US economy. Not overnight obviously, but I think most RW are fully capable of learning and understanding even the finer points of the American dollar and if she is living in the US she has every right to be informed. You Russian wife is your PARTNER after all, and that includes finances...

Quote:

Don't ever expect her to understand your humor. Humor doesn't translate into any other language or culture.

Not always true. My husband, for example, loves South Park. Evidently so does zumanity

Quote:

To conclude FSU women are like any other women around the world,

Very true....

Quote:

make sure she understands what to expect when she comes to US, dont set false expectations for yourself and her

Now that is excellent advice!

Quote:

Typically russian women live with alcoholics and cruel husbands for many years.Russian women try to save the families.Divorce comes when it is not possible to stand spouse's behavior (he drinks,or has lovers,or abuses) and a couple can't live together.

Yup, all of the ills (including divorce) in Russia are caused by the men

Just as all of the ills in America (including divorce) are caused by the women

Neither gender lives in a vacuum, however....

Quote:

I love when my husband tells me "thank you" or "please".Russian men never say this words to girls/wifes.

Huh? That is not true. Many Russian men (at least the ones I have known) most certainly do say these words. My husband does as well. So never say never...

Posted by: mattmaker

Hello Everyone,
I will try to answer most of your questions, and maybe also clarify some thoughts.

Although I dont want to talk much about myself, a brief intro would be as follows, I used to worked in moscow for about 9 years, in and out. I spent part of the year in Moscow and part in Europe due to the nature of my job. I met my wife in Moscow and in these years have interacted with a fair share of Russians.

My intentions were not to berate or talk bad about Russian Women. If it helps any, me and my wife went through a good share of problems initially. we even spent a year away from each other and thought about divorce, but we did not and am happy that we decided to continue loving each other.

Maybe some of what i said could be considered stereotyping, I was careful not to call all Russian women to be the same, if i came out that way ... I didnt mean to ...

The point in a Nutshell is - "Expectations" , expectations in Language, expectation in life style and so forth. I just wanted to say that please set expectations for yourself and her with due honesty and dilegence....

some of you may face the same issues, so of you may not... you may have some other ...or maybe you have none ...

but for the ones that are still looking to find a loving mate, i want them to find a wonderful russian women... and i want that russian women to enjoy her life with this man... she is a women and deserves the love and care and you deserve the same.....

Love and be loved ... expectations could be a silly but serious issue... All in all I strongly beleive that false expectations could hurt both parties... and I dont want any Russian women nor a Man getting hurt...

I know some here dont stand eye to eye with me, but I cannot be right everytime and everyday. maybe I am wrong - If i have said something childish - I guess I am a child

I guess its never too old to learn ...!

Thanks all

Posted by: zumanity

That post is significantly better

Posted by: Ade

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattmaker

Here is a interpretation about Russian Women, I think it is a pretty close....

Who is the FSU women? An FSU women is just another women… she could be in Belarus, Ukraine, Moscow, Romania, Moldova, Turkey, Egypt. FSU women can be found all over Russia and the Former USSR territories.

FSU - Turkey, Egypt??? Why here?

Just like in the recent Express newspaper article putting Rostov on NE Russia, I get all antsy when basic facts are presented wrong, either through lack of knowledge or sloppiness/laziness.

Generalisations are useful to some degree, but not when they are cobblers. And the whole of the original post is full of gross generalisations and cobblers about FSU, Europe, and anywhere else covered.

It's alarming that people can post like this and think it's at all original or useful.

Ade

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattmaker

Hello Everyone,
I will try to answer most of your questions, and maybe also clarify some thoughts.

Although I dont want to talk much about myself, a brief intro would be as follows, I used to worked in moscow for about 9 years, in and out. I spent part of the year in Moscow and part in Europe due to the nature of my job. I met my wife in Moscow and in these years have interacted with a fair share of Russians.

My intentions were not to berate or talk bad about Russian Women. If it helps any, me and my wife went through a good share of problems initially. we even spent a year away from each other and thought about divorce, but we did not and am happy that we decided to continue loving each other.

Maybe some of what i said could be considered stereotyping, I was careful not to call all Russian women to be the same, if i came out that way ... I didnt mean to ...

I guess its never too old to learn ...!

Thanks all

Appology excepted Mate

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattmaker

They are taught that it is their meaning in life and that they should take care of their beauty, these women have been brought up from kids that the beauty is all a man looks for – Do not try to justify, that not all men are perverted and care more about whats inside a women than her breast and Buttocks – Cause a FSU women will not believe that a man can be righteous. Why would she? after all her mother, friends, family and every women she knows has told her so ever since she was born that men only care about their body – do you think you can change her mind in one day, just because you told her so ? Think Again…

Quote:

FSU women are easily offended; most of them have suffered long periods of struggle in their life that they don’t believe in anything good (I am not sure if this is a result of communism, but I have noted a general sense of pessimism in FSU women). Most single women in their 20’s have very little trust in a man and they take offense of the smallest things. A Western man would be shocked and confused to find that his Russian women would fight with him for no reason. To the Western Male it could be no offense at all and probably no fault of his, but a Russian Women’s temper can be unpredictable, Not all but most Russian women in their 20’s have bad tempers and are famous for being unreasonably angry for no reason at all.

It is such a load of BS, that I cannot help but wonder what kind of women you were subjected to in Moscow... If they have so many issues about men, they should definitely seek psychological help before it is too late.

Quote:

Russian women tend to have a very sharp temper and when they are angry they don’t care about reason so don’t try to reason with them, all they care about is winning the argument or in simpler terms, they want to be in control of the situation and don’t like anyone telling them they are wrong or they are being angry for no reason.

This is not true. A person who gets angry for no reason cannot function properly in any society, and Russian women are perfectly functionable. The fact that you don't understand their reasons for anger does not mean that there is none.

Quote:

FSU women normally are wonderful and they really take care of their homes, but Russia, Ukraine, Moldova and many of the FSU countries have the highest divorce rates in the world, this partly could be because of war and communism. When a married couple fights , Neither the Russian Man nor the Women try to make peace and try to save the relationship, The Russian Man knows he will find a more beautiful and younger wife so he does not care much to save the marriage and the Russian Women’s temper and anger over shadow any reasoning and tries nothing to save the marriage either, which is one of the primary reasons for such high divorce rates, economy also plays an important part in these marriages, but eventually it all boils down to whether they want to save the relationship or not, and in most cases both the male and female prefer to go their separate ways instead of making adjustments with each other, which is very different from how American couples work.

It is not true. Many Russian partners try to work out their differences, and put a lot of effort in marriage, especially if there are children involved. Sometimes it does not work out anyway.

Quote:

If you were to ask a Russian Women whether she would try to save her marriage she would probably say yes she would give everything in her power to save the family, but that is far from reality, the Men have created such an environment for women that these women have been suppressed and ill treated for so long in Russian cultures that Women no longer feel a need to save the marriage, it has now become a battle of the EGO’s and the women don’t want to apologize even if they are at fault. It has become easier to get divorce than to apologize for their mistakes or to forgive the other for one. And both Men and Women are equally responsible for Russia having the highest Divorce rates in the world.

I'm sorry you have such a distorted view of Russian people. Russian men and women can also live happily ever after, and in many cases they do.

Quote:

The typical Russian males have in general been promiscuous and it is very common for a man to have sexual relationship with more than one woman at the same time in Russia, this has lead to a very pitiable condition, where a lot of Russian women have accepted the fact that it is okay for the males to sleep with other women. It hold well for the other way around too, Russian women have for ages been known to be promiscuous, over time Russian Women have been known for having sexual relationships with multiple men outside of their marriages, but I have personally seen this only with younger women “married FSU women in their early 20’s” this sexual behavior is possibly an influence from their European Neighbors where having many sexual partners is considered normal. But there is no hard evidence to prove the real cause and the statistics, for now it remains a very popular myth among American men and teens in other countries that Russian women are promiscuous.

Very intersting view. I would say that Russians are more sexually open, and less sexually oppressed, as opposed to Americans, for example.. But you, of course, can call it promiscuous.

Quote:

Expect her to be jealous. Expect her to hate your jealousy, this is a very common trait of a FSU women, some men like this character, some men don’t!

I have met a lot of jealous Americans.. It is, probably, time for me to start viewing jelaousy as a permanent american trend, according to your logic.

Quote:

Don't expect her to understand money if you are an American, She will think the average salary is $100,000-$150,000. Most FSU women think Americans are loaded with money up their Buttocks! It took over 3 years for my wife to completely understand how the American dollar works, and don’t try to explain money to your Russian Lady… she will only be offended, I know it is hard for men to understand what I mean, but trust me, Russian women do not understand the American Dollar and don’t try your luck trying to explain it to her…..

Please don't make unreasonable and unsupported general assumptions. The fact that your wife has had weird expectations about american life does not mean that every other Russian woman has them too.. in general, Russians are very smart about money, and know how "the American Dollar works" long before they come here.

Quote:

Don't ever expect her to understand your humor. Humor doesn't translate into any other language or culture. A joke in English is stupid for a Russian Women and don’t try to reason out the Joke and prove that it was funny cause she will think you are trying to criticize her knowledge of English. The Point - Russians think American humor is stupid to the core. Typically you will hear from her the statement “That’s not Funny at all” !

Good humor translates very well.. An ability to understand humor depends on individual sense of humor and the command of language.

Quote:

I beleive, until then the language problem will be the biggest reason for a relationship breakdown. this may not be the primary cause - it will certainly hold its place in other issues, as there is very little room for discussion.

This is very true. It is hard to imagine a successful relationship where the parties are not able to express themselves liguistically. Non-verbal communication cannot substitute a common language.

Quote:

I had to wait it out for 2 years, and after 2 years of living in the US she came up to me one day and said "baby i want to learn English" I was suprised, everytime i had suggested this, she felt that i offended her and she would argue and fight and be upset, but I guess the man at the Gas station just could not understand her English and told her straight up, she finally understood, I guess sometimes we dont listen to our Friends, family and loved ones, we need to hear it from a stranger!

When she starts learning English, make sure she understands the difference between "a woman" and "women".. It seems like this particular singular/plural situation creates a lot of confusion even among the native English speakers.. Especially when they write in this forum.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Inlove & Jill I really enjoy reading your posts, they are so to the point and lucid.

Posted by: JamesB

Well this was quite a long post.
Most of you know im married to liuda and we are happy together.When liuda arrived she was very positive and excited and then sometimes would be quiet and i would wonder whats wrong.

Liuda is naturally quiet and it took me time to understand.
I would drive her to and from work because i wanted to make sure that she was ok, but she was most happy when i gave her an oyster card to travel in London.

It was so easy for me to forget that i was taking away liudas independence by trying to do too much.
We argue as any other couple will and make up,its not a russian thing i think often its because i may not understand how she feels.
I can be moody as can she ,i can sometimes be childish[hey im a man].

What im trying to say is that too much emphasis is put on nationality because worldwide everybody is almost the same.Only with a different language.

Liuda is slowly adapting to England, she is fine with the money and most things and tells me many thing that are easier or beeter in russia.

If you love a women ,regrdless of where she was born you both need top adapt to the new challenge of a new relationship.
There are of course russian women who only want money but i can find them in my local area.and its not a russian thing its a case of a bad apple from anywhere.

I still struggle on with Liuda ,learning new lessons about her every day and wont pretend to understand so many things but at the end of the day i love her and so my effort will continue.

To anyone looking to meet a russian lady i would just say tell it how it is and be yourself and you wont go wrong.

End of Serman

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesB

Well this was quite a long post.
Most of you know im married to liuda and we are happy together.When liuda arrived she was very positive and excited and then sometimes would be quiet and i would wonder whats wrong.

Liuda is naturally quiet and it took me time to understand.
I would drive her to and from work because i wanted to make sure that she was ok, but she was most happy when i gave her an oyster card to travel in London.

It was so easy for me to forget that i was taking away liudas independence by trying to do too much.
We argue as any other couple will and make up,its not a russian thing i think often its because i may not understand how she feels.
I can be moody as can she ,i can sometimes be childish[hey im a man].

What im trying to say is that too much emphasis is put on nationality because worldwide everybody is almost the same.Only with a different language.

Liuda is slowly adapting to England, she is fine with the money and most things and tells me many thing that are easier or beeter in russia.

If you love a women ,regrdless of where she was born you both need top adapt to the new challenge of a new relationship.
There are of course russian women who only want money but i can find them in my local area.and its not a russian thing its a case of a bad apple from anywhere.

I still struggle on with Liuda ,learning new lessons about her every day and wont pretend to understand so many things but at the end of the day i love her and so my effort will continue.

To anyone looking to meet a russian lady i would just say tell it how it is and be yourself and you wont go wrong.

End of Serman

Hey i agree James, as i have said to my RF, i dont want her to be an Australian woman i just want her to be her, i just want us to take all of the good things from each others cultures and presonalities. Its just that we will be living here. Cheers Mate

Posted by: That1Guy

Hi Matt,

You've probably heard enough criticism about the generalizations, and since Jill and Inlove are so adept at making their points, there is nothing I can add to that of any value.

However, I have seen some similar traits in my wife. Particularly, the quick-to-anger personality trait. I DO NOT believe she becomes angry for no reason though. I do KNOW that there are many times I have asked her what has caused her to be angry, because often, I do not understand (as Jill mentioned), and so I ask in a sincere attempt to understand. The problem I run into is that when I do ask, she just tells me what I did or said (or whatever has angered her), and not WHY it makes her angry. This is usually when I tell her that I do not understand why this or that event has made her so angry.

Normally, it takes quite a bit to get me steamed, and so I have difficulty understanding her expressions of anger, or more importantly the reasons these things piss her off.

Maybe in her defense, I am beginning to believe that she expresses annoyance much the same as I express anger. For example, many times when she is doing something around the house, I will hear "Chort!" several times, and she sounds angry to me. But likely, she's only annoyed by something that isn't going quite right.

Also, I am not the only person she will express herself this way to. Sometimes, when she talks to her mother on the phone, she sounds very agitated and angry. There have been times that I tell her she should be nicer to mother when she gets off the phone. She usually justifies her responses to her mother, and that ends the conversation, or maybe at the end, I will add again, "You should be nicer."

Lastly, there are times when after she explains, I do understand (but not necessarily agree with) why she is angry.

She has been here since April, and her knowledge of money is increasing slowly but steadily. The concept of credit and credit cards is a little difficult for her to get a handle on, but she's no dummy, and I am confident she will have this worked out before very long.

Her expectations of life in America were a little off, and I am partly to blame. I worked tons of overtime before I went to visit her, and so when I went, I had a lot of disposable income, and spent freely while I was there. Now, before I get blasted, I want to add that I sent her all my financial information, and tried very hard to explain my financial situation in terms that she might be able to understand - in other words, I did not try to misrepresent myself! In fact, I feel I was very conservative when telling her about my finances, being careful not to give her the unrealistic impression that I can regularly afford new cars, exotic trips, and so on. But, we did recently talk about this, and I now realize that what she witnessed during my visit is NOT what my day-to-day finances are like, and this gave her the wrong impression. (Actions speak louder than words, I think is an apt saying here).

As far as humor goes, that is one of the things that we have in common. We both love comedies, and humor. I am often surprised at how easily she picks up that I am teasing, or understands why something is supposed to be funny. She can also make me laugh, and she often does. Having said that, what I find funny isn't always the same as what makes her laugh. For example, I LOVE Jim Carey - she HATES him.

You are absolutely correct that the language barrier is a huge obstacle. It is so difficult! She is taking ESL classes right now, and her English has improved remarkably compared to where she was when she arrived. Believe me, I am simply amazed at how much she has learned and is learning! I am plugging along with Russian, but my efforts have not come close to what she is doing, and it shows (miserably in my case). Learning a new language is so difficult for me, I am very impressed and delighted at her progress (she's a very smart woman). We use translation software when she cannot find the word she is seeking, and this helps her to build vocabulary. My only complaint (if that's what you'd call it) is that she does not seem to understand that it is difficult and frustrating for me too. She has said that it is easier for me because I know English and that is how we communicate. What she will not concede is that regardless of what language we're speaking, if I do not understand, or she does not understand, I have failed to communicate, and also become tired and frustrated. Does that make sense? If we do not obtain our goal of a clearly understood communication, we have failed, and it is frustrating for both of us. That I am speaking a language that I easily understand means nothing if SHE does not understand me. The fact that I can easily find the words I need to express myself to an English speaker is useless if she does not understand me. So, it is equally frustrating for me.

So, although I would not say that any of the things she does is necessarily a "Russian" characteristic, I can say that I recognize some of the things you mentioned in her personality.

If you made it this far...go do something else now!

Guy

Posted by: ira156

I think as a (Generalisation) many people when they first go to Russia and hear them talk to each other will think they are fighting. You will see people sometimes yelling at each other then suddenly the conversation finishes and they start laughing together. Having grown up with a lot of Italians and greeks and Turks it was not such a shock to me, as this is their way of talking and i found Russians somewhat similar, they are very descriptive and animated in there conversations.

I am very lucky in that my RF speaks very good English ( she is still learning Australian he he ) and is an accountant so her understanding of money was very good. I took the time whenever we were out to tell her that ...hey this is cheap..this is expencive...this is about the same...compared to OZ. Most average Russians dont have credit cards and mortgages so to them its alittle of living in the moment. If they have the money they will buy it ...if they dont they wont. Lets face it it doesnt matter where you are from, you might understand the concept of credit cards but untill you have one and " attack the plastic" you dont get the idea till you start getting the bills.

Those who have been will know they have great cafes and they are by "our standards" they are cheap. My RF has a good wage by Russian standards. I said i could eat in those cafes everyday, but she expalined to me that for her it was a once a week thing with her girlfriend. I thought about it and then admitted to her that no if i was in OZ i wouldnt be eating in cafes every day. I think we tend to fuel the illusion that westerners are "rich" in two ways. 1 We are on hoilday and people always spend more on vacation, the bugets tend to go out the door for a while. 2 we dont explian the differences in our expences at home properly. I think its not understanding money. They have money too. Its all the little things like utilities, mortgages ect ect that we meed to explain in a little more detail before they come over.

Women are women no matter where they are from...and we are men. There are certain traits that we have no matter what the nationality....we are different.

I can only give a descrition of my Russian Woman. She is gorgeous ( inside and out ) she is loving, she is intelligent, she is cultured and best of all SHE IS MINE

Posted by: Spakoyna

That1Guy You are about on the same ground as me on this thread. The 1 think I can add is my wife comes across as short and snapping because of her lack of English. Most of it is due to this but some of it is just the way she has lead her life. This is almost out of the picture now. I guess I was very patient for a year before I confronted her about this. Ya can only handle being snapped at in front of family and friends for so long!

This part is a cultural difference. My wife is like a tattle tale! Anything I do which I am emabrrased about or if I make a mistake she will broadcast it! YIKES! She is learning. I will say it amazes me what she will talk to her mother about. She is basically 100% open with her and that explains it.

Ira I spent hours convincing my wife I was not a millionaire! Most Russian people do not save money. If you have the money to travel to Russia now you have it on a regular basis. My wife has definately driven in the point that Russian people believe all Westerners are loaded. If they see you as a tourist you are RICH! I honestly believe and can speak from experience that a man considering marrying an FSU woman should spend alot of time explaining the finances,differences of medical coverages,etc., etc! I did and know it is the only way to go!

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

That1Guy You are about on the same ground as me on this thread. The 1 think I can add is my wife comes across as short and snapping because of her lack of English. Most of it is due to this but some of it is just the way she has lead her life. This is almost out of the picture now. I guess I was very patient for a year before I confronted her about this. Ya can only handle being snapped at in front of family and friends for so long!

Hey Spak, as i said i am lucky that she is an accountant. I have spent a lot of time explaining even the little things. When we would go out in Moscow i would give a run down as if we were doing it in OZ.For example, go to have a couple of beers in a nice cafe. 2 beers each in moscow $12, the same in a nice pub here......$36. A train to the city in moscow and home $3 for two of us...here $16 at least...meals, theatre..ect ect. When you start to show them on a day to day level by giving a direct comparison it helps to give thm a real perspective.

On the language side i am again very lucky as my RF speaks good english. I do admit the jokes sometimes get lost in translation, but many sayings and jokes i have found are universal. I am a very patient person so if there is a problem we wil discuss it until i know she understands what i am saying. This is the same in any relationship as i think men and women communicate in different ways. I was lucky also that for all my flaws in all the time we spent together she only snapped at me once

it was only 2 words but boy o boy those two words came out at the speed of light. I think the thing we all need to understand is just because they change the country they live in it doesnt change who they are. And i wouldnt change her for the world.

Posted by: ham

read very much like what was written here
http://agencyscams.com/Relationship.htm
a cut&paste job ( sentences are at times identical) from the above, rather than a genuine post from a genuine person...

Posted by: ham

Quote:

yesterday i read in a scholarly book that some of Kafka's works are homoerotic in nature and denounce colonial exploitation of minorities...go figure.

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by ham

read very much like what was written here
http://agencyscams.com/Relationship.htm
a cut&paste job ( sentences are at times identical) from the above, rather than a genuine post from a genuine person...

Hmmmmmmmm. Yes Ham very similar??????????

Posted by: bingism

Regardless of whether or not the original post was genuine or not, well intentioned or otherwise, it does raise some interesting points and does actually define Marina to a tee.... guess that says something!!

Nowadays, living in Russia and with someone that I met here, I can completely agree with the language issue. Zhanna speaks fluent English (and I mean fluent). However, there are a number of occasions where she will use an inappropriate word or phrase, even if it is "correct" in general. The biggest problem - here comes the English teacher - is that natural / native English language is something that is filled with huge potholes that you can inadvertently fall into. Much of the lexis that we employ in certain situation is loaded with nuance and undertone that we understand fully and without having to think about it. One of the most important things that we teach is "appropriacy" - MFPA... Meaning, Form. Pronunciation and Appropriacy.

Examples:

"...I was nearly professional [in relation to horse-riding]..."
Compare this with:
"...he's a professional footballer..."
Think about the context that we use the word professional.... What does the word "professional" (without using a dictionary) mean?
"...he's a very good footballer..."
or
"...he gets paid money to play football..."

Another word that has caused some consternation amongst my students is "fantasy" as opposed to "dream". Which one has a sexual connotation these days? "My fantasy is....." or "My dream is .....". Take a look in the dictionary and the definitions are quite similar. Why if use the phrase "my fantasy" is the undertone sexual, but not when we use the phrase "fantasy story / film"? Try explaining that to a group of Intermediate students LOL

Here's a further example... Zhan will often use the phrase "I know". In fact, I've heard this phrase a lot in Russian conversation. In fact, this phrase has entered Zhan's vocabulary meaning: "I know", "I understand" and "I remember". This is a simple mistake that would have happened many years ago and is difficult to correct. I'm sure you can all think of situations where the simple phrase "I know" can cause major complications and even annoyance:

example 1:
B: "Why did you not tell me that before?"
Z: "I forgot... sorry! Why was it so important to tell you anyway?"
B: "Because I just wasted 500rbls buying exactly the same thing! I told you I was going to do it today!"
Z: "I know!"
B: "Well, why did you do it if you already knew?"
Z: "I didn't! You just explained it and now I know!"

example 2:

B: "It's pronounced ******"
Z: "I know"

B: "The word you're looking for is *****"
Z: "I know!"

B: "It means ******"
Z: "I know!"

I'm sure you can understand that this has caused a great deal of minor frustration.... LOL Anyway, just so you know, the situation is now fixed

What's the point of this post? Simply to highlight that the English may be good, but try not to read too much into every word. Also, try to remember that explainig an abstract concept, such as required by the question "How do you feel about that?" or "Why did that annoy you?" is extremely difficult in a second language, even for the most accomplished linguists. Hence, the tangiable action / object can often be the main subject in answer to the above two questions.

Hope I don't get flamed for being "general" - these are just my thoughts....

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

Regardless of whether or not the original post was genuine or not, well intentioned or otherwise, it does raise some interesting points and does actually define Marina to a tee.... guess that says something!!

Nowadays, living in Russia and with someone that I met here, I can completely agree with the language issue. Zhanna speaks fluent English (and I mean fluent). However, there are a number of occasions where she will use an inappropriate word or phrase, even if it is "correct" in general. The biggest problem - here comes the English teacher - is that natural / native English language is something that is filled with huge potholes that you can inadvertently fall into. Much of the lexis that we employ in certain situation is loaded with nuance and undertone that we understand fully and without having to think about it. One of the most important things that we teach is "appropriacy" - MFPA... Meaning, Form. Pronunciation and Appropriacy.

Examples:

"...I was nearly professional [in relation to horse-riding]..."
Compare this with:
"...he's a professional footballer..."
Think about the context that we use the word professional.... What does the word "professional" (without using a dictionary) mean?
"...he's a very good footballer..."
or
"...he gets paid money to play football..."

Another word that has caused some consternation amongst my students is "fantasy" as opposed to "dream". Which one has a sexual connotation these days? "My fantasy is....." or "My dream is .....". Take a look in the dictionary and the definitions are quite similar. Why if use the phrase "my fantasy" is the undertone sexual, but not when we use the phrase "fantasy story / film"? Try explaining that to a group of Intermediate students LOL

Here's a further example... Zhan will often use the phrase "I know". In fact, I've heard this phrase a lot in Russian conversation. In fact, this phrase has entered Zhan's vocabulary meaning: "I know", "I understand" and "I remember". This is a simple mistake that would have happened many years ago and is difficult to correct. I'm sure you can all think of situations where the simple phrase "I know" can cause major complications and even annoyance:

example 1:
B: "Why did you not tell me that before?"
Z: "I forgot... sorry! Why was it so important to tell you anyway?"
B: "Because I just wasted 500rbls buying exactly the same thing! I told you I was going to do it today!"
Z: "I know!"
B: "Well, why did you do it if you already knew?"
Z: "I didn't! You just explained it and now I know!"

example 2:

B: "It's pronounced ******"
Z: "I know"

B: "The word you're looking for is *****"
Z: "I know!"

B: "It means ******"
Z: "I know!"

I'm sure you can understand that this has caused a great deal of minor frustration.... LOL Anyway, just so you know, the situation is now fixed

Hey Bing, the more i read the luckier i feel i am. My Rf speaks good english but will often make small errors. She is constantly telling me to correct her, but i am reluctant to. I know that i should be but i find it hard doing it over the phone. The thing is i tell her that i know what shes saying so it doesnt bother me, but i can see that it may cause some embarassment for her if others correct her when she comes here.

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by ira156

It's not a pleasant task, but it is a necessary one... some mistakes are inconsequential since they do not change the meaning, however, you need to remember that you will have "your own language" between the two of you. By this I mean that you will have learnt to understand what he/she means even if the words are innappropriate or incorrect. Others won't have the benefit of this new dictionary.

First, agree with your friend that you will correct them from time to time, as you would also like them to do when you're trying out your russian

It can be done in a very unassuming and polite way that will not have you feeling too uncomfortable or her getting p**sed at you. I'd also suggest that you both need to agree that there will not be ANY offence taken when you do this. If it does cause problems, stop it immediately and let a pro take over.

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

Yeah good advice Bing, i think the thing is that while we talk i dont want to be correcting her and losing the conversation and i know i feel that way sometimes. I also think i tend to speak very formaly around her and not as relaxed as i would normaly. I dont mean that i am not being honest and open, but i dont speak as casualy as i would normaly. But this is changing as she not only has to perfect her english , but learn Australian he he

Posted by: bingism

hehe.... try explaining the MFPA for "...ya flamin' golaaa!!" (spelt very badly...

)

Wouldn't worry about changing your language at the moment - it's called "grading" what you say and needs to be done. Strangely, I can now talk in a very casual, relaxed manner, whilst still grading my language to my students' abilities. The problem may come when she gets to meet your mates and it'll take them a while to learn how to grade their conversations... expect a few "I can't speak English" moments!

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Fascinating thoughts Bing and Ira.

Bing I want to ask you what are your thoughts on a persons ease of learning English when their mother tongue is Indo-European? I have been discussing this with 'Academics' who say it MUST make it easier for them as against someone whos mother tongue isn't Indo-European. I can't see it myself but maybe thats me. Are there many different language groups in and near Ufa, do you deal with people with more than a Russian language background?

I don't know about Russian as mine is really quite bad, but I see a problem with English and you commented on it well, that try to say something to someone in English who doesn't have the command of it as a native speaker does and see what type of response you get. English is a hard language to learn but when words change meaning or take on extra meaning in a short period of time, it must lead to some quite funny moments.

Concerning the 'please correct e if I am wrong' thought, I have a few people who have asked me to do this as I have asked them for their helps also with my Russian attempts but when you do attempt to correct them, and it is only ever done in private as it is over the phone or the net, they get upset. I think they are upset that they have made an error and are feeling bad because they are trying hard but their reactions are out of proportion to what has occured. I find they take it to heart and this can lead to further problems as and they have told me this, people wont correct them anymore and I certainly have pulled right back on doing it.

Posted by: ira156

A funny one that led to total confusion.On a chat My RF was commenting on missing a call from me as i ring her every day. I can remember the exact words but the jist for me was that missing it was like missing desert (dessert spelt wrong). I said i was not sweet enough and threw in the word ( Dacharra ) she said no darling sahara. This led me to belive she was saying desert as she had spelt. Not knowing that sahara is ( sugar sand). well it went on for quiet a while but we had a laugh.

Posted by: mattmaker

Well,
I never claimed that I wrote this Novel, so I dont know what to say, I pulled references that i found very apt. Hope i am not going to get killed for using words from the internet

Well I like criticism, the constructive ones ! well I am always open to a good point, I hope people dont get offended here ... The title says " A GENERAL Interpretation of FSU WOMAN"

I think it is clear that this is Generalization, and its an interpretations, you see a painting to one man has a very different interpretation from another, and yes I understand that I made mistakes between "Woman" and "Women"

)

thanks for pointing that out

I am sure you understand that i wasnt going to spell check my responses ....

Well I wanted to hear from people what they felt ... so I made up a little documents.. copied a few lines that I found interesting and posted it here

After reading some of the posts, I am thinking - wow there are guys who can get unreasonable angry without a reason too

) Just Kidding ... thanx all for your opinions... everyone had good points... I am not sure what the answer to the question is, but Just trying to understand things better...

I spend more time these days with my wife and we looked at all these web sites and found it very interesting, so i though I would post something that I felt ....

For men looking .... Wishes to find a great woman, for men who already found what they are looking for - cheers !

Posted by: mattmaker

Oh I would like to have fun, For some of you who are going read my response and feel like posting that I am trying to be a "Nice Guy now" and am trying to correct my post by apologizing .... sorry ... I already mentioned it here

...

Sorry

Tell me something that I already dont know

Posted by: andrei

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattmaker

Oh I would like to have fun, For some of you who are going read my response and feel like posting that I am trying to be a "Nice Guy now" and am trying to correct my post by apologizing .... sorry ... I already mentioned it here

...

Sorry

Tell me something that I already dont know

What you dont know is that your initial post was actually 100 per cent truth. All these people in this thread were trying to defend Russian women, criticizing your knowledge, acting all politically correct and all that. But that's the same play-soft trick Western people always pull. While the author has been living among Russian women for 10 years and me hanging around them for 27 years str8, me and him are supposed to know better, so they better ask us. Plus as always the women on this Forum try to flood it with "oh those men tell lies about us, we're holy angels floating in the sky so be happy that we allow y'all to even look at us, and no harsh words about us, period". C'mon girls it's not even funny, and starts to sound played out. We all know that a RW is easy to be offended and has gigantic ego and no matter how much of anything you give them, they immediately want MORE. So mattmaker you have at least one true supporter here.

(walks away bumping Snoop Dogg)

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrei

Hey Andrei if you read his responce he wasnt the author of the quote anyway so he wasnt quoting from his own experience. And really mate you cannot generalise that ALL russian women are that way. You may see them that way, but all people men&women from all countries are different. I KNOW that my RF is quite the opposite....and i have met many western women that are exactly as described. You can give your opinion of russian women that you have known just as i can give my opinion of western women i have known. For either of us to say that ALL are the way we describe is ridiculous. What you think is egotistical i may not, what i think is needy you may not. It all comes from our own perspective. So i by all means quote YOUR own experience and your own opinions ( i find a lot of them very interesting ) but dont say ALL people are one thing or another. ANd i come from a society where political correctness has gone mad and i hate it.

Posted by: andrei

oh i ve seen that it wasnt his post, you can be sure for that

but the problem of all forums is generalizations that happen just because an author of a post is too lazy to type " 45% of women that i know do this" or "1333,4th part of men that i know do that" so they just type "all", and immediately after that the author gets castrated by the forum people for generalizing. it happens everytime and everytime people act like it's their first time of reading the word "ALL".

Posted by: ham

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrei

oh i ve seen that it wasnt his post, you can be sure for that

but the problem of all forums is generalizations that happen just because an author of a post is too lazy to type " 45% of women that i know do this" or "1333,4th part of men that i know do that" so they just type "all", and immediately after that the author gets castrated by the forum people for generalizing. it happens everytime and everytime people act like it's their first time of reading the word "ALL".

you are easily impressed i think.
What matters here is to say that the website most material from the original post comes from (agency scams ) does feature a list "white" or "recommended" agencies and a special site devoted to that.
This casts a thick shadow over the whole thing, where who wrote that stuff goes - as someone said- the prophet way: lots of inspiration but little facts or third party sources.
So...
I'm not the typical MOB hopeful sucker; i don't really care what anyone thinks about FSUWs, but i see duplicity in the fact that site is harshly criticizing a product while trying to sell it...or is it the good old story "good girls" can only be found using the "recommended" agencies, while those who don't are bound to meet the bad ones?

Posted by: ira156

Quote:

Originally Posted by ham

I agree Ham. While you may get an agency that screens for scammers, and even if they have a 100% success rate ( highly unlikely ) there is no guarantee that the person you meet isnt a total b@tch...or the guy a fat lazy slob. Good and bad everywhere .....learn what you can...and use common sence