First Letter Question for the Ladies - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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First Letter Question for the Ladies
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Posted by: VuHTran

Ladies, have a question for you regarding the first letter. In most cases, ladies get a ton of introductory letters from various AM looking to start a relationship. My question is how do you make your letter unique enough to get her curious. I have read that you shouldn't send flowers or gifts until both people get serious and that makes complete sense. However, would it seem very strange / wierd / make the lady afraid if with the first introductory letter a single red rose was sent with the letter?

I would venture to guess that it would at least raise her curiosity a little bit to open the letter and read it without just scanning the picture and throwing it away. In this particular case, if you can believe the website, this particular lady is 34 with an 8 year old child and has only had 4 instances of people requesting her address (per the website, taken with a grain of salt). Ladies, any insight would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Vu Tran

Posted by: mariaprof

Hi,

I think you should be as romantic as you wish. Send her flowers if you can. Russian women love and appreciate them maybe more than american women do. I don't see anything wrong with being nicer than usual.

Best,
Maria

Posted by: vic2012

OK here’s my two penn’oth.

A woman does not want a man who drinks (heavily) takes drugs, is insecure, spend loads of time with his mates, has a domineering mother, or makes a big fuss of her son in the first letter (that’s insincere).
She is going to move thousands of miles to a strange country and be surrounded by strangers, to be with you. So, she is looking for safety and emotional security and wants a reasonably strong partner.
I found that it helps to be a bit philosophical, and maybe, you can say that, you like standing in the garden on a dark night and looking at the stars. Tell her how you like to share things (views, decisions, chores etc.). That, you like cuddles. That, you like walks and holding hands. That, you are a good masseur and that, you get real pleasure from seeing your partner (and her kid/s) happy. That you are tolerant and patient. And to emphasise your inner strength, tell her that, you look for these attributes in your partner.
Make your letter warm and heartfelt. She’ll get plenty of letters from guys stating facts. What you need to do, is to touch her heart. It really doesn’t matter if your letter is a bit mushy.
If you can do all this on your very first letter, you are in!
Oh and, translate the letter into Russian using a web based translator (like IMtranslator), she will appreciate the effort you’ve gone to.

Best of luck

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

Tell her how you like to share things (views, decisions, chores etc.). That, you like cuddles. That, you like walks and holding hands. That, you are a good masseur and that, you get real pleasure from seeing your partner (and her kid/s) happy. That you are tolerant and patient. And to emphasise your inner strength, tell her that, you look for these attributes in your partner.

"Cuddles" and "masseur" are a bit too much for a firtst letter... weird...

Quote:

Make your letter warm and heartfelt. She’ll get plenty of letters from guys stating facts. What you need to do, is to touch her heart. It really doesn’t matter if your letter is a bit mushy.

Mushy letter will get your a mushy girl. If you are not sentimental yourself, don't pretend to be. Besides, a lot of girls here think that the first letter should be a kind of presentation and it's absolutely OK if it's a bit dry (stating facts).

I would say that the simplest way to find mutual understanding is to write a letter as if you were writing it to the girl next door. IMHO

Just my twopence to that.

Posted by: vic2012

Take my word for it Seaview. You're wrong

You get one shot with your introductory letter. And, at the same time, you have to stand above the crowd. So be bold, be different.

At least I had a 100% success rate with my letters and I included all of the above.

Saying that, you like to cuddle up with your partner on the sofa, on cold nights, to watch a good film, is great. It brings you across as being warm and tender. And, there's hardly a woman out there that doesnt like her shoulders and back being massaged. This brings you out as being caring and considerate.
Just keep away from sexual inuendo when you write your first letter. It's all in HOW you write it.

Dont hold back! She's looking for the man behind the letter. If its dry (giving her facts) or straight laced.....you're lost.

And why would a mushy letter get a mushy girl - after all, you are writing to her in the first place.

I've been very fortunate. When my fiance and I parted, last summer, she went on Elaina's Models for six weeks, And, in that time, she got plenty of replies, but did not get a single letter that offered any real warmth or emotional security. And so we got back together, closer than before.

So, thats a warning to all you guys who send out shopping lists of your attributes.

see more about this:http://russianmeetingplace.com/foru...?t=13003&page=2

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I do something similar to what Vic mentions. I don't know of a woman that doesn't like humor so I try to be humorous in my first letter. I also like to garden so I always say I like to grow flowers and my yard has many flowering plants and trees. I also mention the wild life like rabbits and deer ... but not mice and snakes!

I don't get a 100% reply but at least 70%.

Posted by: vic2012

By the way GTR, before people think that I am some wonderful letter writer, to get 100% response rate. I've only ever written six letters (the first five, sent in Oct 2005, being much the same all got positive replies).

In fact I didn't get a response to my sixth letter, which I sent last August. There was little substance to it and I just wrote asking if she fancied having dinner with me in Kiev the following week. (Malev had some very cheap fares out there, about $200 plus tax). And, I was very low at the time, missing my ex very much.

That unusually direct approach didn't work. She must have thought I was a complete nutter!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Don't worry about it Vic, RW make us do strange things!!!

I'm sure there are people on this forum that think I'm a nutter for getting involved with a nutter!!!

Glad you could patch things up with the "little woman". Unfortunetly there is no such luck for me. Take care and best wishes.

Posted by: Sammy&Sasha

Here is a start guideline for you and you must expand on these thoughts but I know you will get 1000% response.Been long time since I started writing a girl but make your words so she can see you are full of life.

-tell her how much you love to walk along nature and see so many wonderful birds and trees and in fall how when the trees turn color its like fireworks-
Tell her you feed wildlife and love to care for little animals

- Write about the ominous wonder of looking into a dark balck midnight sky and how the stars can represent hope and how soothing it can be to look at this in a nightime walks, maybe someday with her. Heres a great amusing anecdate: Ask her if she has seen the milky way in the sky and tell her you look at it and see yourself on one side of the milkyway and all your dreams on the other side and the milkyway is everything tht can get in your way to catch that dream.

-write about how you like to walk near water and listen to the whisper of the waves as you wonder about your future life with your special woman

-tell her its your dream to meet a woman that you love with all your heart.
-Write about the sky and how much you love to see rainbows.
-Mention how you love when it rains in the springtime and how after winter in the spring everything wakes up from so long dream.

I gave you enough here if you expand on it and tweak and twist there is no way any woman isn't going to write you back.

Never worry about physical short commings either like how tall you are or acne or crooked teeth. The only way your love is going to last in he first place is if you love each other's minds I would think.Sure her photo made you notice her but that isn't going to be enough.
I love the way David Lee Roth (vanHalen)one time described his writing of his musical lyrics.he always said "when I am singing in a song you never know If I am talking about a hot woman or a fast car or anything I love." Use the same approach with the letters you write.
Think of something you love and transfer the thought into someting you notice in her writing or her foto or something.
God I can't remember my first letter but I have all hers. If you think this is difficult try writing your woman for years everyday and still finding passionate things to write about!!

Appeal to her senses in your writing and never mention sexual crap.If she starts talking sex"hello scammer"

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sammy&Sasha

I love the way David Lee Roth (vanHalen)one time described his writing of his musical lyrics.he always said "when I am singing in a song you never know If I am talking about a hot woman or a fast car or anything I love."

Hmmm must be before he recorded, "I wish they all could be California girls", and no I don't wish that.

Posted by: Sammy&Sasha

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Hmmm must be before he recorded, "I wish they all could be California girls", and no I don't wish that.

Going to Russia, California Girls was actually composed by the beach Boys I think so that was not his song ok~~~~

Back to the writing letters here........I think I was trying to tell Vic that he could also listen to some mood music and steal some liines from his favorite artist........

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sammy&Sasha

Going to Russia, California Girls was actually composed by the beach Boys I think so that was not his song ok~~~~

Yes it was composed by the beach boys but he sang as a single artist.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sammy&Sasha

"when I am singing in a song you never know If I am talking about a hot woman or a fast car or anything I love."

Your quote was singing, not composing.

Posted by: Jerico

Quote:

That, you like cuddles. That, you like walks and holding hands. That, you are a good masseur

I dont know if i could write this either in my introductory letter.
I would be lying because it is not my style or personality. Even after corresponding for a while I couldn`t write this. its not my peronality at all.
If it works for you then thats good.

Of course I am married now but when I wrote letters to these women the letters never were like that and i received about 90 percent response ( some responses were not interested) and I wrote to 25 women at first.

The Russian women I have met want a guy who takes charge.
I am not saying tell then what to do but show some authority sometimes on matters.

I never lied to the women I wrote to either.
I like to drink beer (socially) and the women I met all were drinking beer with me or wine but mostly beer. Even though in there profiles they said non drinking men.
Which tells you that some of the things they ask for in a man in thier profiles are mainly fantasy. IMHO

So in closing just be yourself.
If your really a romantic type of guy then write that stuff but if your not ( like me LOL ) dont.
You will still get good responses.
Jerry

Posted by: vic2012

Of course, we are all unique. And, there is no one-size-fits-all formula to writing introductory letters. If you're a boring old git, then its pointless copying out some flamboyant prose for your letter. It will all be a waste of time and effort. You really do, have to tailor YOUR letter to YOUR own personality.

But when it comes to your loved one, most people do like cuddles. do like holding hands, do like sharing. Dont be embarrassed, say it!

Obviously, state the truth, and at the same time, try to be warm and sincere. And just like applying for a job, enhance the qualities you do have.

I've said this in a couple of posts, in the last 24 hours. Something I've discovered that, seems to be a very strong requirement is, emotional security. Many RW are looking for someone strong, to look after them and their kids (as Jerico says). If the information contained in your first letter makes them feel that, they can be safe with you, then you're well on your way to finding a partner.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by vic2012

I've said this in a couple of posts, in the last 24 hours. Something I've discovered that, seems to be a very strong requirement is, emotional security. Many RW are looking for someone strong, to look after them and their kids (as Jerico says). If the information contained in your first letter makes them feel that, they can be safe with you, then you're well on your way to finding a partner.

It doesn't matter where the woman lives. Most women are looking for a man who is emotionally stable, and are looking for emotional security. The way to express that stability is open for debate.

Posted by: firemansam

Just be yourself. Good, bad or indifferent....... BE YOURSELF!!!

Do what you feel is right, behave like you feel and show this to your potential partner. If she does not appreciate this in your letters or phone calls, she will never appreciate it in real life and you will never have a lasting relationship...

If you are soppy and romantic in real life, then show this in your letters, if you are a caveman, show this too... There is nothing like the memory of any woman let alone a RW and they have VERY good memories, let me tell you...

If you are yourself, you might find a lot of rejections in your search, but eventually, you will find the one who you are meant to be with....

What would you rather, a woman who fell in love with the pretend you, or a woman who loves you and all your attributes and faults at the same time...

Sam.

Posted by: I/O

F/S hit the nail pretty much on the head I think. I smile to myself reading all these reams of information on how to write a first letter. Then almost invariably everyone goes back to the style of thing that started 500 years ago...

Dear Xyz,

I........................

Yours Sincerely

Abc.....................

I think you get the picture. Has anyone ever thought about how they greet a friend in the street. Do you say Dear Xyz.......?? Then finish with ...Yours Sincerely..........??

Come on..!!! Get real, you would be laughed off the street. My question then, is why do it in a letter. If you want to be different, then do just that, be different, that is be yourself. There is nothing wrong with using cold facts in the first letter coupled with some personal touches and conversation type content. Don't try to paint a picture. Do it. Simply write as you would speak. Yes of course that takes some effort.

Try writing a letter then read it aloud, record it on your computer and play it back. See how natural it DOESN'T sound. Now start again and write something that sounds like you rather than a Sunday sermon. Trust me it works. Over and Over and Over again.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by firemansam

Just be yourself. Good, bad or indifferent....... BE YOURSELF!!!

This is the best advice BE YOURSELF! how would you like it if the lady was filling her letters back to you with a lot of stuff that was totally not her in real life? it works both ways!!

Just relax, go with the flow and be honest with her!

Posted by: firemansam

I'd just like to expand on this a little...
Without going into details, My approach to meeting Anna (and the other women I was writing to at the time) was 200% different to how I approached the letters I wrote when I knew they were passing through an interpreter.. And I can assure you I spoke of things that I would never have mentioned knowing a 3rd party would read them....

I think half of my happy ending came from being me being me before we met, the other half came from me being me in reality!

From this, Anna, never had a chance... LOL!!!!

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by firemansam

I think half of my happy ending came from being me being me before we met, the other half came from me being me in reality!

From this, Anna, never had a chance... LOL!!!!

he he don't you mean Sam never had a chance! you might like to think it was all your doing, but as we all know, you probably didn't have a lot of say in the matter he he

great to hear about you two though Matt.

Posted by: I/O

The reality is this people. You are in the sales game whether you want to be or not and you are trying to sell product number one, that is you...!!

If I can relate an extract as best I can from the "Board report" of a major company who had recently employed a new sales executive.

His application opened thus..........

'Morning gentleman, what's on the agenda for today's meeting other than reviewing the applications? .........................

................thanks for the hearing and I'll talk to you soon.

Xyz

Why did he get the job? Was he the best person for the job? Certainly not, but he was the best at getting the job because he related himself as he was to people in their own domain as they are.

The CEO commented in his report that he simply "Had to get a look at someone with the guts to say it as it is in street language". He had never seen such a letter and really wanted to get a look at who would write this way. Guess what? You're in the door and if you're in the door the job is 70% done. How you play it form there is up to you.

One thing is for sure, believe it or not, if someone writes back to you positively, that person is just as keen to hear a reply as you were when you first wrote, so guess who is in the drivers seat now?

Posted by: firemansam

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

One thing is for sure, believe it or not, if someone writes back to you positively, that person is just as keen to hear a reply as you were when you first wrote, so guess who is in the drivers seat now?

Exactly my point, if you are you, in your letters, then you are so much further along the road to meeting the right person for you!

If you can be you, without any pretence of hiding things or behaving in a way that's not you, then when a positive reply comes into your in tray, you have 100 more reasons to be excited than just another apparent positive reply that has no future.......

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

I smile to myself reading all these reams of information on how to write a first letter. Then almost invariably everyone goes back to the style of thing that started 500 years ago...

Dear Xyz,

I........................

Yours Sincerely

Abc.....................

I think you get the picture. Has anyone ever thought about how they greet a friend in the street. Do you say Dear Xyz.......?? Then finish with ...Yours Sincerely..........??

Come on..!!! Get real, you would be laughed off the street. My question then, is why do it in a letter.

Mostly tradition and ediquite. It also gives the impression you are civil and educated. How many people would respond to junk mail ads that read, "Hey Dude I got this really "bomb" product I want you to buy!"

Posted by: vic2012

Sorry GTR, there are times to be civil, educated and FORMAL and this situation really isn't one of them.

So, whats the next line then................I humbly ask that, you accept this letter as an application for the forthcoming post of husband...........hehe

I agree 100% with I/O
Keep it light and informal

Posted by: Longfellow

Very fascinating thread. So much good advice that we can all apply to our commincation in every area of life.
Because I have 2 cents, I'll share them here:
Be personable. If you're flirtatious then flirt, but not overtly. If your serious, quote an expression from your favorite philosopher. BE WHO YOU ARE!
Be personal. Speak to the specifics of what you saw about the person that were interesting. Ask about her joys in the region she lives.
Don't be bland or state the obvious cliches. Saying "You have beautiful eyes" is not only superficial, it is insipid. You have never seen her eyes - only the very best photogragh of them that she can present. Any schmuck can comment on a womans attractiveness... all women are attractive to anyone who bothers to look, that's what is so great about women! A woman can walk past a construction site and get wolf-whistles for comfirmation that someone likes what they see.
Speak to your own heart. Say that it is an incompete life without a good woman beside you. Admit that you are unable to fly without your second half.
Examine common ground. Be truthful about the challenges of finding someone. Tell her of your hopefulness to find a right love. We have all felt that way, that's why you're both being available to this opportunity.
Be humorous. Add something that shows you can laugh at yourself.
Be willing. Let her know that you have the time and patience to devote to getting to know the real woman that she is and for her to get to know you.
Be humble. You might want to say that have a nice home. What you really have is house and you need that special woman who will make it into a wonderful home.
Be stupid (because we are!). Admit that you may not have said everything perfectly and with her forgiveness of your ineptitude with women, you want to not risk letting someone so special slip past. Ask for another chance.
Be afraid. Be very afraid! When you find the right woman and it works, she will take the lonely heart you give her, cook it into the tastiest meal you ever had, serve it back to you with every ounce of love she can give and leave you more vital than the day you ever worried about writing an introductory letter!
I've no doubt that you will beg her for a second serving...

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Some very good reading here. I would some it up by saying, just be honest and sincere. I got 100% responses, not to mention inundated with first letters from them just because of my bio in the profile. Either that or I'm just too darned good lookin. I forget how many RW commented about my appearance, with "You are a very attractive man."

If you're sincere, regardless of what you say, she will notice and respond if she's the least bit interested.

Tim

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buckeye5704

Either that or I'm just too darned good lookin. I forget how many RW commented about my appearance, with "You are a very attractive man."Tim

Did you use a picture of Mel Gibson in your profile also?

Posted by: Buckeye5704

DANG, my secret's out.

Does this make my butt look big?

Tim