Need some help/advice AW-RM - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Need some help/advice AW-RM
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Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

Hi all and thanks in advance for any advice you might give.

I have been emailing a RM from Moscow for about 5 weeks I met online in another Russian related site. We have exchanged pictures and really enjoy emailing one another. Last night he sent an email telling me that he thinks he likes me more than a friend. Okay, I was thinking the same thing but didn't want to say anything just yet.
I am a graduate student studying Russian history/politics but my Russian language skills are very basic. His English also extremely basic. Thank goodness for online translators! Before all this happened I planned to study in Moscow on an exchange program with my university next year sometime. I told him this and he was happy and said he would show me around Moscow and meet his family and help me practice my language skills further.
I think I want to continue this on another level but I am feeling apprehensive. Could it work? He is very nice and polite and says he enjoys emailing with me, as he has never talk with anyone from America before.

So I am asking....what is a good way to express that I feel the same way? I don't want to scare this one off by making some serious "cultural faux pas". I have some weird intuitive feeling this guy is the "real deal", not just some online player. I know, I must be NUTS, go ahead and say it.

Samantha

Posted by: Cheburashka

Welcome ALR! My best advice would be to PM a lady in Samara who goes by Ms Smarty Pants. She is awesome.

Good luck!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheburashka

Welcome ALR! My best advice would be to PM a lady in Samara who goes by Ms Smarty Pants. She is awesome. Good luck!

That is an excellent idea Cheburashka!!! She is also a lawyer.

GTR

Posted by: Jill

I would just keep e-mailing him as you are. If you are planing to study in Moscow anyway, then GREAT! That will give you ample opportunity to get to know him and find out if he is the "real deal."

As for taking things to the next level, I would wait until you meet in person. Learn more about each other, sure, but don't fall in love in with a letter. And that is EASY to do. The real test of relationship feasibility, however, is a face to face meeting. So it's great that you have a trip lined up. Good luck!

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

Oops....

Guess you should never trust your "gut instincts" or think its the "real deal". Turns out Mr. Russian Romeo is in prison in Moscow. Nice, huh? I feel like such an moran.

He sent me an email to ask if it was alright to tell me that he "sits in prison". (

Yes, of course its fabulous that you tell me this 5 weeks later!) At least I didn't use my legal name (nickname only) or give out personal details so he could find me. But he does have some pictures of me. Guess they are being used for "you know what" now. You can never be careful with anyone online.

Samantha

I know I am a loser, clap one time for me today....

Posted by: Cheburashka

Are you kidding me? You are NOT A LOSER! If you had spent all your money on him, and later gotten kicked to the curb, then we might consider a new nickname. But you were wise and asked for counsel. The fact that you saw clearly is a blessing in disguise. Shake off the dust and march on.

Next!

Posted by: Jill

Well, no, that doesn't sound too good. But you are certainly not a loser! Did he tell you what he's in for?

Posted by: metaforest

It seems unlikely to me that a Russian man who "sits in prison" would have internet access. In prison, or not, this person is clearly not someone that is worthy of your further concern.

=B-)

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

Jill- No, he wouldn't tell me (yikes, what if he is a murderer!)

But I am curious to know how he had so much internet access. He sent me emails nearly everyday with photos too. I know the prison system there is different to here, as he may have only been in minimum security with privileges.
It hurt me so that is why I am feeling like a loser. I did fall for him in a way and I did cry when I got his email.

I guess I am just oversensitive. And he was super good looking and really romantic. I sent him a follow-up email asking him to explain his situation and I got an email back saying "farewell". Back to the drawing board I guess. I only emailed him by chance because I agreed with some comments he had made from this other website. And well it started from there.

Samantha

Posted by: Pin Boy

chin up girl! there's no way for you to know that. silly things happen to all of us. don't be embarrassed. someday you may be able to crack up a room full of people with this story

pin boy

Posted by: Pin Boy

PS you mean russian prisoners have internet access??? i thought only american prisons were country clubs.

pb

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

Ahhh,
Thanks, you are making me feel better already. I can hear the old saying in my head..."If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is". Maybe I got overexcited, who knows. I guess I should write this off as a "summer fling".

Samantha

Posted by: Pin Boy

you say he's super good looking and really romantic????

somebody's gonna have fun in prison, but it might not be him...

pb

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

That's pretty funny PinBoy. He looks to me like more of a "giver" than a "receiver". The pictures show him as I am guessing about 6'5, and probably around 200 lbs, with blond hair and brown eyes.

Okay, another question, sort of OT here but anyway. I asked my Ukrainian friend if I missed something in his photos that might have given me a clue. She did say that him having a large tattoo on his arm was unusual to her but she is not sure. I asked him about the tattoo in an email and never got a response. The picture was from the front of him and the upper arm wasn't showing.
I know the whole story thing about Soviet prison tattoos but I guess my question is...Do everyday Russian men have tattoos? I mean is it as "common" there as it here in the USA? I can say that most of my friends and some of my relatives have a tattoo, myself included so that is why I am generalizing about tattoos so don't "flame" me because I am assuming you all have tattoos.

Samantha

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

Here's another clue perhaps... or I am reading into this deal way too much.

His email nickname was GETTOBS. I am no language expert and this is what the translator popped it up as in the email. However, I do know some german and the german word for "ghetto" is "g(h)ettob" and it seemed very strange to me. Of course in searching for the word or the Russian form of it at least, I came up with nothing. So it is probably something of a slang word that only Russians know generally.

Any guessers???????????

Samantha

Posted by: Pin Boy

assuming we all have tattoos??? no way on earth!!! disgusting, physical graffiti. YECH!! i have never seen a single tattoo that even remotely looked attractive. dull and bland each and everyone. good line i heard by model cindy crawford about tattoos: "i think i'd look pretty silly at 50 years old standing up at my daughter's wedding with a butterfly on my ankle."

as you can tell i have some pretty strong feelings on this subject. i rate this one right up there with smoking when i look at a woman. real tough to overlook. GAG!!

pb

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Sorry to hear about your bad experience Samantha. I wish you good luck with your hunt for the right "Mr. Moscow" ... he's out there.

I dated a woman with a with a few tattos, it isn't bad at all Pin Boy!!!

GTR

Posted by: Pin Boy

good for you GTR, but you'll never convince me otherwise!

Posted by: Cheburashka

Hey, Khodorkovsky is in prison, and there are plenty of ladies who would like to be his better half I bet.

Posted by: waiting123

ALR, I am just having a very hard time getting it straight that a person in a Russian prison has a computer and internet access.... could it be that the translator is mis-translating... the free translators online due it all the time... trust me... also are you sure that when he said he is "sitting in prison", is it possible that he works in a prison...sometimes when a Russian speaks, they are very literal in their English.... just my 2 cents... but I find it highly suspectful that a prisoner in Russia would have internet access....

Just a thought!!!!!

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

I don't know actually. I mean in his email he said that he didn't want to deceive me any longer because he liked me and asked if I would be offended to know that he "sits in prison". He also said that if I was offended, he would understand if I didn't want to talk to him anymore. When I emailed him back to ask about the whole deal and to explain further, he sent me a reply saying "farewell". I tried to be very polite and touch lightly on the subject because I was afraid of hurting him. I know some women would have cussed him out for not telling them, but I am not like that. I tried to understand. And yes, I was hurt by the whole last email of farewell after 5 weeks of constant emailing.
I am just confused as he sent so many pictures of himself with his family and talked alot about life like he was living it. I also met him on another forum like this and I wonder how the heck he would have time "in prison" to be checking out forums. I assume if they do have internet access, then it is probably like an assembly line/phone line and they get like 10 minutes each. But if Russian prisons really are overcrowded like every report says, the line would be out the door every hour around the clock.
Who knows, perhaps he was just a scammer thinking it was fun to talk to some American girl online and it was a con the whole time. I am sure I will never have a real answer from him ever.

Samantha

Posted by: waiting123

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmericanluvsRus

I don't know actually. I mean in his email he said that he didn't want to deceive me any longer because he liked me and asked if I would be offended to know that he "sits in prison". He also said that if I was offended, he would understand if I didn't want to talk to him anymore. When I emailed him back to ask about the whole deal and to explain further, he sent me a reply saying "farewell". I tried to be very polite and touch lightly on the subject because I was afraid of hurting him. I know some women would have cussed him out for not telling them, but I am not like that. I tried to understand. And yes, I was hurt by the whole last email of farewell after 5 weeks of constant emailing.
I am just confused as he sent so many pictures of himself with his family and talked alot about life like he was living it. I also met him on another forum like this and I wonder how the heck he would have time "in prison" to be checking out forums. I assume if they do have internet access, then it is probably like an assembly line/phone line and they get like 10 minutes each. But if Russian prisons really are overcrowded like every report says, the line would be out the door every hour around the clock.
Who knows, perhaps he was just a scammer thinking it was fun to talk to some American girl online and it was a con the whole time. I am sure I will never have a real answer from him ever.

Samantha

You can send another email and just talk generalities to him... and see if he responds to you.

Hey girl keep your chin up.... He was no good for you anyway.... besides.. if he looks as good as you say... he does not need you... he will have plenty of lovin from his cell/block mates.....

stay with it Sam... go to Russia, and enjoy your time... If it is love you are seeking, you will find it... but also let it find you!!!

OMG am I lecturing you....

I better stop.....

)

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

Thanks for the encouragment. All of you are pretty nice. Unfortunately, love does not find me easily as I am always stuck off in some corner of the library with my nose in a book because I take my studies very seriously (I have straight A's). I just enjoyed emailing him because it seemed exotic and exciting and I love flirting anyway. Maybe that's all it was, was flirting... Whew, I need to get a life...... People always tell me that my "Mr. Russia" will just run into me someday on my way out of the coffee shop. Actually I am headed there in a bit to meet up with some friends to chit chat about whatever. You just never know...

Sam

Posted by: waiting123

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmericanluvsRus

Thanks for the encouragment. All of you are pretty nice. Unfortunately, love does not find me easily as I am always stuck off in some corner of the library with my nose in a book because I take my studies very seriously (I have straight A's). I just enjoyed emailing him because it seemed exotic and exciting and I love flirting anyway. Maybe that's all it was, was flirting... Whew, I need to get a life...... People always tell me that my "Mr. Russia" will just run into me someday on my way out of the coffee shop. Actually I am headed there in a bit to meet up with some friends to chit chat about whatever. You just never know...

Sam

I know the feeling I keep my head.... and body for that matter locked in my office and in a computer, so I know how you feel about that... I have no idea how you feel about being a straight A student... I was never that

well have a wonderful chit chat about what I don't know.... which sad the say is an awful lot for you to chit chat about. keep chatting with us... we are good for your mental aptitude.... OK OK OK... maybe not. but it sounded pretty good!

Posted by: firemansam

There are a million guys in the world.....
If someone is behaving in a wired way, there is probably some hidden issues that you need to consider.
From where I am sitting, pay him off and find someone new....
There are too many issues with his life for you to trouble youself with.
BUT!
This is only my opinion and I do not try to live your life for you.

Posted by: sidney

It is a difficult guess with his farewell. Could this be an easy out for him? Or as others have suggested maybe a mistranslation. I would say that if you've an interest in this culture go see it first hand.
Tattoo aren't as common as here in the US but seem to be more common among the younger gen. Not a big turn on for me but I also have some relative with. I heard about the prison tats but am not sure what they look like.
Sid

Posted by: AmericanluvsRus

New news...
I sent him an email (after discussing with my friends over coffee last night), just saying, "can we discuss things further?" and my email came back returned because I am now BLOCKED from his account. So my guess is this guy was a just a dirtbag in the fullest sense of the word and used me. Oh well, who needs men like that?

Samantha

Posted by: Jill

Yes, the internet access is very strange. I can't imagine a Russian prisoner having internet access--most "free" Russians don't have internet access, how would a prisoner have it? Something doesn't add up here.

About the tattoo, it is often associated with prisoner culture. Not everyone with a tatoo is a criminal, of course, but many criminals have tattoos. This is actually a very interesting subject as prisoner tattoos are almost like a secret language--they can show you what crimes the person has been convicted for, how many years in jail he received, his "rank" among other prisoners, etc. But without seeing that tattoo, I can't saywhether it is a prison tattoo, or just a normal one.

Quote:

"sitting in prison", is it possible that he works in a prison...sometimes when a Russian speaks, they are very literal in their English.

"Sitting in prison" is very clear: that is the literal translation of the Russian. For example, in Russian if you say "he sat," the implication is that he has been in jail.

It all seems a little strange to me....But, at any rate, you don't need this. You will meet someone MUCH better and you'll probably both get a laugh out of this someday

Posted by: metaforest

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmericanluvsRus

That's pretty funny PinBoy. He looks to me like more of a "giver" than a "receiver". The pictures show him as I am guessing about 6'5, and probably around 200 lbs, with blond hair and brown eyes.

Okay, another question, sort of OT here but anyway. I asked my Ukrainian friend if I missed something in his photos that might have given me a clue. She did say that him having a large tattoo on his arm was unusual to her but she is not sure. I asked him about the tattoo in an email and never got a response. The picture was from the front of him and the upper arm wasn't showing.
I know the whole story thing about Soviet prison tattoos but I guess my question is...Do everyday Russian men have tattoos? I mean is it as "common" there as it here in the USA? I can say that most of my friends and some of my relatives have a tattoo, myself included so that is why I am generalizing about tattoos so don't "flame" me because I am assuming you all have tattoos.

Samantha

While I was in Western Siberia I noticed that ex-navy and ex-army had home made tattoos on the back of their hands, like anchors, crossed swords, or crossed guns... Some had these on their forearm just above where a watch would sit. A few men I noted had more elaborate displays on their arms that clearly were signifying their military service.

These were the only types of tattoos that I saw while I was there.

=B-)

Posted by: dagpop

Samantha, It is good you found out early,that he was is prison.If you went to Moscow,he might of given you his prison address to visit him.It would be a real shock then!
There is a man out there for you.The fun part is the hunt.
You seem to be a smart girl and will do well.

Hope this puts a smile on your face.