Romance?(what is "love" in our Russian-Western relationship? How do we experience it?

[Woody]

Reading various threads about love found and the reasons for us all looking beyond our own shores, it seems to me that little is said about the romance and excitment of finding something new and different i.e. the person and the society. All the culture of a nation embodied in persons attracted to one another.

So what is love, to each and every one of us that has found it? Haha, for me it is the simple act of being told to "put my hood up" in the freezing temperature of a St Petersburg January, the eye to eye contact that lights the face with a smile, and most certainly the excitment of finding that a woman speaking to me softly in Russian was the sexiest thing since my French language school teacher.

Clive

[dknew]

Well Woody I would have to say that it's the way she looks at me or reaches across the table for my hand in a cafe or even telling me to put my hat on or my shirt so I won't get burned but she has no thought about herself getting sunburned and it's a 1000 other things about her and it's also that sexy russian voice late at night that gets my blood boiling :D

Dan...

[Harry]

God, yes! The Russian accent... what is it about it? The first time I heard her voice on the phone, I was lost forever...

[Jutman]

Love !!!

I have literally physical pain in my heart, when she has no time for me. Like 4 days she went to camping. I hate it.
To talk to hear, make me relax.
When we were together, her smile made me the happiest man in the world.
When she cried of happiness in my arms, I was very proud. Felt like I was the best man in the world.

- Thats my 'job' to make her happy. Then she will make me happy.

[dknew]

By jutman: - Thats my 'job' to make her happy. Then she will make me happy.

Sorry I have to disagree with you on this one, I don't think it's either persons job to make the other happy, You should be happy just by being together.

Dan...

[Jutman]

why do you think I ' ' the word job. ;)

I just don't have a better word for it. By 'job' I mean I must be good to her. Listen to her. Help her so she is happy.
Then she will help me, listen to me ....

Its like to give before you receive.
Here give means love, attention and so on. The same I will receive. :o

[pharmrep2]

This thread kind of reminds me of the "Love is......" cartoons that you see in the newspaper. Because love is not just saying "I LOVE YOU," or doing a act of affection, or caring about your significant other. Love is all that plus more, it is really undescribable to say in words. I dont believe in the 50/50 rule of a relationship, that if I give you love I expect it in return. But I like to think that true love, is when both persons give love 100% without expecting nothing in return. LOVE IS......

[SufiPoet]

Love is such a very important topic when it comes to relationships and marriage-- it is a surprise that we haven't started a topic about this in the forum yet :)

What is love between Lena and I?

For me, love is being humble enough to focus on what I may have said or done to unintentionally hurt Lena's feelings, or... To concentrate on what I can do to make our relationship as happy and love-filled and peaceful as possible, rather than mentally expecting her to do this...

Of course Love is a very personal issue, and although we all experience the same fundamental feeling of love, we all also experience it and interpret it in our own way... (It is a little how we each experience sexuality-- there is a fundamental similarity in our experrience, but we also experience it in a unique individual way)....

(Lena is sitting with me now :) )

Love, at this moment, is finishing this post so that I can spend time with Lena, since Sunday is our scheduled day that we only spend with each other :)

If I have more thoughts about this, I will add more later :)

Khashyar

[ShermanAtlanta]

One thing that I really love about my Lena is that she is such a happy person. She has a great outlook on life. I have never felt that you could make a person happy. Some people will never choose to be happy. I choose happiness most of the time and I choose to be overjoyed Saturday.
Sherman

[Woody]

Love is the delight of finding out that you can share all of what you are and not make alterations to who you are. Feeling the emotional heartstrings being tugged when something simple of the person is given.

Khashyar, you are quite right that love is very personal. For me it is the emotional attachment that is difficult to express in just one word but sufficient for your partner to understand.

Love is the warm air that surrounds us when we are together.

Clive

[merlin]

.

This is such a personal subject that we could have as many different postings here as there are members. For me there is ''Romantic Love'' and ''True or Real Love'' In romantic love we say we fall in love or we feel the love at first sight experience. I feel this is connected to the primitive urge to mate and procreate, this always subsides after a year or two and the relationship then either evolves into a loving friendship (true love) or we split and go back into the dating scene, which we seem to do more and more nowadays.
Sometimes and this is true of Katya and myself we grow into the True love phase without all the intensity of the romantic phase at the beginning which is working better for me at my stage of life because before we met we had become close friends and had shared a lot of thoughts and opinions on a wide range of subjects. In fact when we did first met there wasn't an overwhelming feeling of this is the one etc. but slowly on subsequent meetings we have grown to be very close lovers. I have had several relationships in the past which have been intensely romantic from the start and wonderful though that feeling is they have always foundered after a few years, when all the stardust settled we just weren't good mates.

The story that Dennis tells about how he grew to love Natasha in the thread Just a couple questions (how met Russian fiancés/wives? How long corresponded?) reveals to me a true love growing based on real mutual support and friendship.

I think what Woody says ''Love is the delight of finding out that you can share all of what you are and not make alterations to who you are'' is a very important aspect to developing true love, how many of us have been in or know relationships where the one person is afraid to reveal parts of their personality for fear of rejection.

Sherman’s point is also very true we can’t nor should we try I feel to make another person happy, it simply can’t be done in the long term.

Pharmrep2s statement about giving love without expecting a return is also vital and quite rare and difficult to do at times because most of us are needy for love.

Kashyars commitment to working through things that crop up in the relationship with Lena is also a vital ingredient in the development of a loving friendship. We often leave relationships when the work begins because we tend to think that a relationship should require no effort. Also often craving for that falling in love feeling again when everything seemed so easy.

In conclusion I must agree with Woody and dknew that the sexy Russian voice is ............well ............... there are no words. :)

Terry