Russian marriage, Western life, and the pursuit of happiness...

-by Khashyar

Belarusian museums......

Walking in the central square park in downtown Mogilev, Belarus where young people meet and where young men park their cars, stand next to their open car door and play loud music from their stereos ...

I felt like I was in High School again :)

Are young people making love a lot in Belarus and Russia? I wonder how easy it is for young people to go on dates and have private intimate moments together? Young people often go out in groups, and it seems difficult for young people to meet at their parents' house for a romantic interlude since young people almost always live with their parents until even after they are married...

So... how is the romantic social life of young Russian people?

What are the odds of a young Russian couple staying married?

Why is there so much talk, and complaining, by Russian women that Russian marriages (and Russian men) are not good?

Perhaps the conditions are often not positive for a strong marriage in Russia... Young people often live with their extended families, so not only do you marry your spouse, you have to also endure a long and close relationship with your spouse's parents as well...

And then there is the added financial burden of life in Belarus and Russia... Both spouses must work hard to make a living. And it is not hard to imagine that when life feels stressful and tiring, and your job is not that satisfying (especially when you know that workers in other countries are making 10 times more than you are as well as have a higher standard of living), it might make more sense that Russian husbands (and even wives) find some way to bring something interesting into their lives through drinking, infidelity or other diversions to their suffering and boredom and lack of happiness...

They just don't realize that life can also be stressful in the West since a high standard of living requires a long work week (in America, at least), and also other different pressures from the expectations of our society.

Somehow, whether someone lives in Russia or London or Chicago, they must find what satisfies them in their life... what they put their life attention towards to help them get as much out of life as possible.

Many Russian people put this fulfilling attention towards their families. It is admirable that even though most Russians live a hard life, they still are able to put their devotion into their families and good friends.

In the U.S., we sometimes seek enjoyment from purchasing the newest technology (computer equipment, car, etc.) , eating out... or sometimes some Americans are uncertain as to what will make them happy and they are searching.

Will that be a Russian wife? ;)  Not even a beautiful and intelligent and charming Russian wife can make us feel satisfied if we have not already found what is meaningful in our lives... A Russian wife (or Western husband), (or, for some of us, Russian husband and Western wife) :) , can only compliment the happiness that we have already created for ourselves.

It is an even more disillusioning experience when we have received something that we have strived so hard for (like bringing our fiancé to America to begin our blissful married life together) and feel that it is a source of great happiness for us, only to find that although it is wonderful to have that person or thing in our life, that what is most important is what WE do in our lives-- what we live for, and how we live...

I still don't believe that a Russian wife will make anyone happy in and of itself. I believe that if a person is not happy or satisfied, that it is better to reflect upon what is the fundamental reason why you are unhappy, and then a wife or a husband will just compliment an already existing happiness...
 

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