“What it’s like being married to a Russian woman” (age difference)

-by Khashyar


2) I know that this is a stereotype, or the prevailing viewpoint about Russian women, but it is also my experience that most Russian women prefer to be with a somewhat older man, whether it is 5 years or 15 years or older. I am 36 years old, and Lena is 23. Lena explains that she felt that she could better trust an older man because most older men tend to be more faithful and mature in their behavior than younger men. I have heard Lena tell me that she has countless friends who have stories of their Russian husbands or lovers being unfaithful. So much so that it is almost unusual, in a Russian woman’s point-of-view, for a Russian man NOT to be unfaithful and pursue other women while married or in a relationship.

Lena has 6 Russian women friends who she communicates with who live in the U.S., and every one of these Russian women are 9 years or more older than their husbands. I am not going to reveal any names but, I am going to give you the ages of these women and their husbands:

a) Russian friend #1 is 30 years old, and her husband is 47 (a 17 year difference)
b) Russian friend #2 is 23 years old, and her husband is 62 (a 39 year difference)
c) Russian friend #3 is 21 years old, and her husband is 30 (a 9 year difference)
d) Russian friend #4 is 25 years old, and her husband is 41 (an 16 year difference)
e) Russian friend #5 is 35 years old, and her husband is over 50 years old (over 15 years difference)
f) Russian friend #6 is 27 years old, and her husband is 43 (a 15 year difference)
g) Russian friend #7 is 23 years old, and her husband is 33 (a 10 year difference)

The average age difference in the marriages from among these 7 Russian friends of Lena is 17.3 years difference in age from their husbands. I know that this is not a scientific indicator of the average age of Russian-Western marriages, but I think that it does show that there is a tendency for Russian women to marry somewhat older men in Russian-Western marriages.

Russian women friend’s #2, #3, and #7 did NOT meet one another on the internet, while Lena’s other Russian friends #1, #4, #5, and #6 DID meet on the internet.

The average husband-wife difference in age of her friends who did NOT meet online is 19.3 years difference. If you remove friend #2 who had an uncharacteristic age difference of 39 years, then the average age difference of the marriages of Lena’s Russian friend who did NOT meet on the internet is 9.5 years.

On the other hand, the average age difference in the marriages of her friends who DID meet online is 15.8 years.

Out of the friends of Lena’s who did NOT meet on the internet, friend #2 was introduced to her husband in Turkey by a mutual friend, friend #3 met her husband while her husband was working in Russia, and friend #7 actually met her husband in the U.S. while she was studying at an American university.

As I had mentioned before, my wife Lena is 23, while I am 36 years old (we have a 13 ½ year age difference between us). When I first was communicating with Lena, she was 21 and ½ years old, and I was uncomfortable with the fact that she was 21 (and that I was 35). I was actually worried about Lena being too young for me. I was interested in meeting a woman who closer to my age (perhaps 5 years younger than I was). But Lena seemed like the most committed and trustworthy and conscientious writer, and things gradually and every day developed between us. Our relationship developed in spite of our age difference, because we developed a relationship based upon who we were as an individual man and woman, and based upon the success and good nature of our communication.

If I had to do things over again, I would be less afraid of being with someone 13 years younger than I am, and certainly more open to it, but my intent would still be to seek someone closer to my age than someone much younger, because I think that you naturally have more in common with someone who is closer to your age.

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