Russian women's adjustment and challenges to their new life in the West/ America

Hi Everyone...

I wanted to write a bit about a Russian woman's transition to the West (or the U.S.) after their arrival...

I think that Westerners underestimate how difficult the transition is: We have written before that Russian women must leave their homes, jobs, family, friends and culture to start anew in a new country...

My wife Lena has mentioned to me a few times that even though she had good education in Belarus with a promising job that she enjoyed, she feels that in the U.S. that she is "starting from zero."

I remind Lena that her education and life experience in Belarus DO count, and I try to remind her (without saying so outright) to "sell" her strong points like other Americans do when they are looking for a job or presenting themselves. I think that Americans are good at looking at their positive sides (even though at times it can border on and surpasses a point of arrogance :) )

I was thinking of another point (which I might begin a new thread about)-- since Americans BELIEVE that they are the greatest and best civilization on Earth today (the U.S. certainly does have good things about it, but I think that we often undervalue other cultures), that Americans can go to another country and still have pretty strong confidence in themselves and in how they conduct themselves. Accurately or not, Americans feel that their culture, country and language is the best in the world, and they have this inner confidence when they travel to other countries...

On the other hand, when a Russian person comes to the U.S., they are faced with an American culture that does not value other cultures and languages as it does its own, so the Russian woman is faced with trying to live and exist confidently in this culture filled with "Super-cultural super-achievers".....

It would be the same as if one of us was transplanted in the middle of another country where the citizens of that country felt that their language and culture and country was the best in the world, and where they also believed that my American culture was inferior to theirs.... (I wasn't specifically referring to France :) although France just came to my mind :)  ) But, what if we were transplanted in that culture where its citizens valued their own culture and did not value or respect mine? What if we could not return the U.S. (or our home country)? How would this all affect our self-esteem?

What would it feel like knocking on the doors of those businesses and look for a job? What if we continued to hear "Oh, you don't speak our language well enough-- maybe you should take a year of language classes and then your language skills might be good enough."

I think that we could begin to understand how this might affect the self-esteem of the Russian women who relocate to the United States.....

What made them feel valuable and valued in their country (their education, prestigious career, or perhaps even their eloquence in how they speak their native Russian language) is not recognized and applied to their social worth or status after they relocate to the West....

Combine this with the prejudice that some Russians feel in the U.S. because of the Cold War and how Americans have been told that Russia and Russian people are not to be trusted, and the sexual objectification of Russian women in the eyes of Western men, and... it takes a strong Russian woman to be as confident in the U.S. (or the West) as she had been in Russia...

There are countless stories of very educated Russian men and women who were doctors or lawyers or writers in Russia, but who cannot find a job in the U.S. that respectfully uses their talents, education and experience...

I think that it takes longer for a Russian woman to adjust to her new life in the West that we imagine, and... we should be ready to be very patient in helping them adjust.

The honeymoon/ "vacation" period during the first few months of a Russian woman's arrival might feel fairly easy for them (or perhaps requiring some adjustment but is not a period of suffering for them).....

But, once the Russian woman begins to look for a job, begins (or restarts) her education, needs to deal with Westerners on her own, then she begins to transition into "real life" mode, and faces the Western culture in a realistic and practical way... (It is almost like watching a football game compared to actually playing it :) )


Khashyar

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