What are Russian Women looking for in a Western man?

By: Lena Darvich ( Usachova)

I know that you want to know this secret. :) This is a good question and I think a lot of men are interested in knowing something about this before looking for Russian woman. Right? Ok, let’s begin….. I interviewed some women from Belarus (from our office in Mogilev, Belarus)  and asked them this same question. Read what they said about this. I will also share my own opinion about this question…

What is a Russian woman looking for in a man abroad?

It’s not a secret that all people are different, especially men and women. And it’s not news that they are looking for different things in life. But one thing that is clear is that everyone looks for Love, Respect, Understanding and a good relationship.

Generally, Russian women are not swayed be a man’s age or looks, provided that he is a genuine, decent person who will be a gentle husband to her and a good father to their children. Certainly all of these points are very important for every Russian woman. They are very hard-working themselves and appreciate a reliable, trustworthy man who will do his best to provide a regular income for their home and family. It’s common for them to marry men 10-15 years older than themselves since age to them means maturity, stability and security. For a younger woman, an older man is a guarantee of well-being.

Are Russian women interested in your financial situation? Mmm… I believe, since every person thinks about the future, the answer is “yes.” BUT perhaps their understanding of a good financial situation is different from from Western people’s. I say to you precisely that their requests are completely different compared with foreign people’s in general. It’s very important for her to know that her future husband has a stable secure job for the family and for everything necessary for life. Your kindness and the wealth of your soul outweighs what will be in your “bank account”. :) For certain you can be scammed by a Russian woman and who is interesting in your “real bank account” and your level of life: by what is your income, what kind of car you have, your house, and so on. But remember, if you will be more careful and will follow some common-sense advice, you will be able to meet the right person. From my agency and my experience of working with Russian women and Western men, I can tell you that there are a lot of good women who want to be happy.

A Russian woman thinks about future children, so she wants to be near with a responsible man and in a safe and secure place to raise children. She cares about a good upbringing, so she thinks that a father should be a good example for a child. I wanted and was looking for person who is responsible and who grew up in a good family and in a good environment. For me, it was important what kind of family he has, and what his childhood was like. A Russian woman is looking for someone who can and will protect her and will care about her and family.

A man should have education, because most Russian men have high education in her country. I know that her “Russian” education in her new country is worth practically “nothing” :) because it’s necessary for an immigrant to the United States to build his or her education from practically “zero”. :) But women pay attention to education very much. As I mentioned in my article “Who is the Traditional Russian Woman”, the majority of Russian women are educated and have a university or college degree, so they also want to have an educated man near with her who was a similar background. For her, “educated” means at least a college degree. For me, it was a little bit strange to know that some people in foreign countries have just a high school diploma. It doesn’t mean that I want to hurt the feelings of anyone, it’s just because in my country to have a high school diploma is necessary, as well as at least a diploma from a technical college or school.

Do you know that all Russian women are romantic? So they like the smell of flowers, the dance of waves, walks under the stars.  Russian women have had only one example of men– Russian men. To be honest, the majority of Russian men are very romantic in the beginning of dating, but then the question arises for many Russian women as to where all of this has gone after one year of dating or living together.  Many Russian women believe that Russian men become rude, impolite and so on, but this is a different topic that I will not go into in this article :) . So, Russian women expect from men abroad romance, so you should know what it means to be romantic. It means you should present flowers, remember special events in her and both of your lives. I think that it’s not necessary to teach a man how to be a romantic person :)

As a Russian woman, I can say to you with certainty that most of the Russian women seeking American, Italian, and German (…etc.) husbands are NOT doing so just to find a way to come abroad and have a better life. It’s not the main factor in looking for a foreign husband. The main reason and motivation of most of these women is finding a good husband, a stable relationship without any divorce or disappointments. From my understanding, divorce is very easy, but to work on a relationship is more difficult and takes time, energy, communication, and overcoming some challenges.

But for Russian women, divorce is a significant stress, so they prefer to work and work to make a relationship right. I think that marriage takes work and that no person is perfect, so to divorce and find another partner is not an answer. There are a lot of divorces in Russia, Belarus and Ukraine– not because the economical situation is bad, but because men drink and run around on their wives a lot more that most American and other Western men do. They do not trust one another. In contrast, Foreign men have a good reputation throughout the world for being good husbands who treat their wives well and are generally faithful to them. In my marriage I can tell you that this is true. I have a wonderful husband and a good relationship, which is what I was looking for.

For the most part, this is perhaps the most important reason that Russian women look for men not at “home,” because they don’t believe that they can find a good person for family among the men at home. I couldn’t find a suitable husband for myself in Belarus. Perhaps I was unlucky, still young and didn’t have an opportunity to be happy.

Every woman dreams to be happy all of her life and to have good family full of love, respect, understanding and warmth. Who doesn’t want such a life? Every person dreams of finding a right partner and to be with him or her a lifetime. No one wants to be alone and have stress from separating and divorcing, not just to save ourselves from a broken family and painful feelings, but to protect and take care of our children’s lives as well. My parents were divorced, so I do not want to leave my child without a Father.